Could he be lying?

[Anonymous]

I asked my ex (whose like a good friend now) if he would be dating anyone else and he took forever to respond to it but eventually said he forgot to hit send but said that he's not planning on dating. He apologized for forgetting to hit send.

But I wonder if he forgot because he really wasn't sure. He's never lied to me and I don't think he would start now but I don't know.

As a guy is this a way to keep a girl locked down? Like in her backpocket or was he truly being genuine?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that response from your ex does seem a little sketchy ngl. A few thoughts:

- Kinda weird he "forgot" to hit send when you straight up asked if he was dating anyone else. That's a simple yes or no.

- Why would he need to take so long to respond unless he was tryna figure out how to answer in a way that didn't upset you?

- Most likely he is seeing other people but didn't want you to freak out/get mad about it since you're still cool. Guys don't like direct confrontation.

- The apology felt insincere - like he was just saying that to placate you until he could change the subject.

- It's totally possible to keep hooking up with an ex "just as friends" but still want to play the field secretly since you're not official.

If it were me, I wouldn't fully trust what he said until he proves it over time with his actions. Watch for signs he's active on apps or posting dubiously single pics. Protect your heart sis! His priorities may not be straight anymore.

[Asker]

Thank you for your honesty. I felt it was sus too but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately I deleted my FB so I have no way of knowing if he was telling the truth but the truth will come out if he was lying sooner or later. What's done in the dark comes to the light.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I think going with your gut on this one is smart. Guys can definitely be sneaky sometimes, even if they've never lied before. Him taking so long to answer just screams shady, whether he's actually dating someone else already or just wants to keep you on the backburner "just in case". Deleting FB makes it harder to snoop too lol. But like you said, if he's lying the truth will come out eventually. For now all you can do is try not to stress too much wondering - just keep your guard up a little. And definitely don't wait around for him if other opportunities come up! You seem cool, you'll meet someone even better who's not so shady. Just focus on you for now. If he was being honest, great. If not, at least you didn't waste more time worrying. You've got this!

[Asker]

Thanks so much!

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome, happy I could offer a guy's perspective! Breakups are tough, but it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Just keep doing you and focusing on moving forward - easier said than done, I know. But you'll get through this and come out stronger on the other side. Feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to vent to or have more questions. Otherwise, wishing you all the best as you get past this and put yourself back out there when you're ready!

[Asker]

Thanks again and I certainly will! 😊

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem beautiful! 😎🌹👍 Always here if you need to talk about stuff. Hope you feel less stressed about it all now. Try not to dwell on what that dude said too much, I'm sure you've got way better things to focus on! 😊❤️

[Summeroflove]

It’s just hard to say I can’t read his mind and there’s a number of reasons. I would assume that he didn’t forget to hit send (maybe he really did I don’t know) but it’s possible that he just said that because he was debating what response to send.

Okay, with that all said. He maybe is just needing a break, maybe he just isn’t into anyone right now, maybe he wants you back, or maybe it is a back burner type of a thing.

If you’re really curious to know I would ask him.

[Anonymous]

I feel like you’re turning it into a lie for no reason. If he says he forgot to hit send (as many of us do, I know I have thought I hit send when j didn’t a plethora of times), then why not take it at face value? Sure he’s never lied but you aren’t entitled to his truth even if he were lying. You don’t have to know about his adventures in dating, and he doesn’t need to share any of that with you until he’s ready, even if you yourself would openly tell him if he asked, that’s your own prerogative. Not saying this to be rude, I just don’t understand what encourages you to question his response when there’s no need.

[Asker]

You're right. I guess it was out of line. It's just a part of me hopes he hasn't moved on that fast because I haven't. But you're right it's none of my business. I shouldn't have asked him that.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you feel like he’s lying as to spare you or something since your his ex but there’s no way other than your owns reservations to know. It also shouldn’t even matter unless you want him back, otherwise I mean he doesn’t have to open up. You aren’t his therapist….

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry I was adding to my response as you sent yours. But yeah, it’s just better to leave that alone and not make more of it. No good reason for otherwise…

[Asker]

True you're right. I'm not. It was stupid to ask.

[Finchie40]

Well since he is your ex , then yes, he is more than likely lying to you , and why is he your ex to begin with? And why are you still friends with him? It’s usually best to move on from exes as much as possible , especially if you both broke up over something bad that occurred to cause you 2 to split on the first place , so it’s usually best to cut all ties and move on.

[Asker]

He was my best friend before we got together for over 10 years. That's why we're still friends now. We have a long history. But you're probably right about him lying to me even though I don't see why he had to lie to me about it. I could take the truth.

[Finchie40]

He probably doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and thinks you would be upset if you found out he was dating someone else

[Asker]

I guess but I'll find out eventually so it's just stupid to lie about it.

[Finchie40]

I agree , some people sadly lie for the dumbest reasons. Do you still have casual sex with him? If so , he is probably lying to you , so he can still have sex with you while having sex with other girls’ as well is my guess , he probably assumes you won’t have sex with him anymore , if you find out he is sleeping with other girls’ as well , or you aren’t having sex with him at all , but he is trying to keep you on the back burner and doesn’t want to take the chance of losing you , if you find out he is dating or sleeping with someone else.

[Asker]

No we aren't sleeping together mostly probably due to not being in close vicinity so it's easier not to. But we probably would still be if we were close.

[Finchie40]

So that’s probably the reason he isn’t telling you the truth , he probably assumes if he does see you again sometime, he will be able to have sex with you again , if you know he is single. You got to remember most guys’ think with their dicks , it’s pretty much how men were made. When I am single , I am open to hooking up with girls’ and having sex with girls ‘ cuz I am single , i am not going to commit to a girl unless she proves she wants to be committed to me , so I am not going to tell a girl I am having sex with , that oh by the way , I fucked another girl last week. Sadly most girls’ do that shit as well, because they know it’s a turn off to the other person. Sadly todays’ world seems like casual sex is the new norm , Barely anyone wants to be in relationships anymore unless it’s on their terms. I am a relationship kind of guy and would rather just have sex with one girl , but if she isn’t on the same page as me , it’s pretty much thanks for a good time but not a long time. Why I no longer jump into relationships with girls’ I prefer FWB’s as long as her and I are on the same page with things , When I am FWB’s with a girl , I only have sex with her , and no one else , we both agree we can date others if we choose to , but if we sleep with someone else? , we promise to end the benefits part between us and just remain friends. I honestly think it’s dirty and degrading to have sex with multiple people around the same time. It’s like people no longer care about STD’s and shit like that anymore. It blows my mind on how corrupted people have become. So it’s a 50/50 chance when we meet someone new on whether they are being honest with us or blowing smoke up our asses , I had my fair share of girls’ blowing smoke up my ass to get me into bed to have sex. The thing is we aren’t mind readers and we don’t truly know what someone’s true intentions are. We can assume , but assuming means absolute shit if you think about it. If someone is going to lie , they

[Asker]

True perhaps you are right on that. He is a guy and even though he's never usually lied to me doesn't mean he never would especially when it comes to having sex.

[Finchie40]

Are going to lie , if someone is going to cheat they will cheat , so it’s the chance we take when we meet someone new and exciting to us , When I was younger I use to make a big deal about relationships to the point I realized it was just a waste of time , and I ended up with my heart broken for trusting and loving a girl that claimed she loved me as well to find out she was spreading her legs to another guy as well. So that’s another reason I don’t jump into relationships with girls’ because sadly most of them lie and only want what’s best for herself. FWB’s kind of eliminates having my heart broken when she decides she wants to be with someone else all of a sudden. We can only give what we want to receive , if we aren’t receiving what we are giving , it’s best to walk away. I have slept with girls’ that lied about being married , girls’ that lied about having a boyfriend already , so my trust for girls’ is sadly not the same anymore , especially these days

[Asker]

I'm sorry about that. I can honestly say I'm not like that. I don't want to have sex with anybody else right now. I hope there's a chance he's not lying but he could be. Who knows? But I will give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

[Finchie40]

I have slept with exes before as well that came running back to me apologizing and and saying they are sorry and that they missed me and life hasn’t been the same with out me , saying her new boyfriend doesn’t satisfy her in bed , it’s like where the fuck did these girls’ come from , what happened to morals and the foundation of relationships? So I didn’t have sex with all of them but I did with a few because they convinced me they were still in love with me and I was single at the time. But when I am in a committed relationship with a girl , I don’t cheat , I value her the same way I want her to value me , I am loyal to her the same way I want her to be loyal to me , so it’s best to really get to know someone before entering a relationship with them because sadly most people will change their minds once the infatuation period runs it’s course , i experienced and witnessed it to many times

[Finchie40]

Do yourself a favor and don’t sleep with him until he proves to you he only wants you , if he really likes you he will prove he does

[Asker]

Ok I won't.

[Finchie40]

It’s up to you what you want to do , I am just giving you advice that’s all.

[Asker]

And I appreciate it. I really do!

[Finchie40]

No problem at all , I am happy to help 😋

[spartan55]

Why are you asking your ex questions like that? Why are you talking to him at all?

[Asker]

I know I shouldn't have asked him that. It was totally out of line. And we talk because we're still friends.