Why does my boyfriend behave this way?

Question

I have been slowly losing my patience with him regarding his behaviour. I have pointed out his behaviour but then it redirects it back at me. As an example, during sex he was focusing on putting me in a bit of pain. I was fine with it but it doesn't get me off, instead it got him off and then he ended up going to sleep, leaving me to finish myself off. I was pissed off, he apologised for being selfish. I told him the aftermath, and how I have rashes around that area now and he just laughed. I felt very sad and down that he didn't ask if I was ok, or I need any cream to heal it.

The next day I was still angry, then he started telling me he was scared about how I was grumpy and angry, in a joking way. Before this, I told him how his anger outbursts make me physically shaken, again at that time he just laughed. He started copying me back then saying how his "physically shaken" and his very scared of me, in a joking (should I say, mocking way). I was even angrier than before. He did try to cheer me up with hugs and kisses, but I was annoyed with him already.

After that he then said HE was grumpy and angry. So I tried to cheer myself up and console him. He said he was angry because I was angry, I was grumpy so he was grumpy. He said if I am grumpy he will be much more grumpier. I thought it was a sign of caring, but now its just immaturity and him trying to stop me from feeling how I want to feel.

Why is he like this? I am already out of patience for him. He seems to turn everything into how I do not love him anymore, I do not want to spend time with him... like guilt tripping. Im pulling my hair out over it!

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Tell me he's a Chad without telling me he's a Chad.

Your boyfriend is selfish and self centered - traits that are essentially a given among popular, outwardly attractive guys. If it is as I suspect, he knows he is handsome and popular enough to replace you quickly if being with you becomes a hassle, and I suspect that you know it too, which is why you haven't kicked him to the curb already.

One thing you will learn in life - if you are open-minded enough to learn at all - is that the shiniest apples all have rotten cores.

The other thing you need to learn is that you can't change other people, you can only change yourself, and that includes changing the people you choose to include in your life. You should be vetting every potential partner based on their morals, values, and life goals. I understand that doing this requires time and effort, and more importantly, that it will eliminate virtually all of the most physically attractive men - but you will never have a sustainable future with a man you don't share morals, values, and life goals with.

teamvic · Accepted Answer

That dude is a manipulative, big ass baby, who only cares about himself🤔

Why are you with him again?

And he definitely is mocking you by the way

I'll save you the trouble and tell you, that guy isn't your long term partner