Why is my boyfriend acting this way?

[mispix22]

my boyfriend and i get along great and stuff. we woke up together and i took him to get covid tested and he explained his dream and it was all cool. we kissed goodbye. he even called me after to tell me what was up and how it was and that i should have taken it with him

ANYWAY

he asks me to call him once im done with work which it was my first day yesterday

i did around 6 and then we talked

he has a friends party to go to at some bar so there's that

anyway

he calls me around 9 and asks where i am and what im gonna do that Saturday and i said going to parents

i asked why he was asking and he just said he was wondering. he always checks up on me. always.

anyway….

he calls me at 12 am and asks again. this time he is so drunk i hear him spitting I don't know why i can't even understand but he asks where i was and i said parents. he asks where i am once again. i say parents…then he just says that im boring

and he cuts the call

i call again then he calls then i call then i let it be i keep asking if he thinks im boring and he's just like IM DRUNK and cuts the call

he then texts what he said and i asked him if he truly thought i was boring

and he said “i guess …. i need some space”

i called him again and he's like ill call u later need some space bye

bc i don’t understand

and then im like “can we talk” and he's like “ttyl” and blocks me

? why?

im very confused and I don't know what to make up of this

any thoughts

have not reached out. will not reach out until he does. even then im not gonna check my phone until night its a very busy day

Updates

+1 y

he also seemed really quiet the day b4. i asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. we went to dinner and got wine and watched a movie at home.

we were trying to do it but he could not get hard. he was trying really hard.

he drunk told me when he called at the party that this day ( the day before) he was so depressed I don't know why

[Anonymous]

He was clearly very drunk, and it sounds like he was being oddly irrational. Anyway, all we can do here is speculate, and none of our answers will be fact, so it’s just better in general to wait to talk to him directly rather that repeatedly assessing the night and trying to make sense of it. You do have one concrete piece of information, and it’s that he acted very immature and ridiculous all because of drinking and being out with his friends. Tbh sometimes friend groups bring out the worst in people rather than the best. If that is who he is while drunk, do you really want to deal with that in the future? Sounds like for the most part he’s a good guy, but now when he goes out, you’re going to have negative feelings about it bc who wants to deal with someone acting that cold?

[mispix22]

he unblocked bur hasn't said anything

[mispix22]

i agree. also question why even reach out and ask where i am? he did that both sober (he always does that) and drunk …. never does that …. i didn't even message him
once while drunk

[Opinion Owner]

Probably because he knows he screwed up and is figuring out how to begin a conversation. He should definitely feel dumb, and quite honestly worry about if you even want to stay with him for that very big reason. As for your next question, I don’t even know if he could tell you why he did that. It just sounds like overall, he was too drunk, maybe talking shit with his friends and that got him in a mood. If he’s been betrayed by a women or women in the past, then he could definitely have some trust issues that he keeps hidden well and disguises that insecurity by “checking in on you”. But the alcohol could bring out his true motive behind him doing that even in general, in which case that is not ok. No matter how much you like/love a guy, if he carries baggage from one relationship to the next then you will always find yourself paying for what other women in his past did, whether he is drunk or sober.

[mispix22]

thank you♥️ i know what u mean. should i reach out at all?

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely not. He’s the asshole here, so don’t feel inclined to reach out and soothe his conscience or because you’re eager to understand what happened. All you really know is he screwed up and he need to not only come correctly, but with a really good apology. You just started your new job, so I’d say focus on your shift, let it be a very big distraction, and so what you can to not feed into that big temptation of reaching out. He needs to, very much in this case.

[Opinion Owner]

Also no worries, I dealt with a guy like that and I just know it can get worse. So how you act now is important because it will apply to how he behaves in the future. You don’t want to give him any indication that what he did is ok at all. Hold him accountable.

[mispix22]

thanks! i will update u. are u a therapist by the way? your advice is spot on. also he told me yesterday morning that his airpod pros are in my room. regradless do u think we will talk again? or he’ll reach out?

[mispix22]

he's a smarr man. he's not a player or anything so im just shocked :/

[mispix22]

also do u think him unblocking me indicates that he’ll talk in the end. im hoping to leave my phone at home and not respond until i come back. im just hoping he calls

[Opinion Owner]

Lol definitely no therapist, this just comes from experiences, and one of them was just like what you’re going through, so hopefully what I say can be of help☺️ as to if he will reach out, he definitely will, after he’s done “needing space”. Even with that, I feel like there is a way you definitely should approach it, like not responding to him right away if you can stand it. He needs to understand completely that he was wrong, even if it hurts you to have to show him. If he wanted space, or felt these things then it is not new, he was just cowardly and waited to be drunk to say them. So I say give him what he wants, and show him that if he pulls this shit again he will lose you because you are not the sort of girl to lay down and take mistreatment.

[Opinion Owner]

Also in this time I’d say to think long and hard about if he’s even a person you want to move forward with. I’m sure you have very strong feelings, but you always need to put yourself and your mental health first above any man. What happened last night could just be the beginning and many other bad experiences, in which case he should be single anyway so he can address his past trauma and not make the people he cares for pay for what other women in his past did.

[mispix22]

big update. he called like normal. he said he doesn't remember anything and he said that he thinks he broke his hand. he said that he fell and the table bent his spine or so he feels. he said sorry and told me he would call me after work.

[Opinion Owner]

Not calling him a liar but I feel like that is him fishing for a sympathy card so that you won’t be mad at him and instead be worried. A broken bone, especially in his hand would be painful to the point that he would be in the hospital. Not to say he didn’t bruise or hurt his hand, he may very well have, but I don’t believe it is to the extent that he’s saying. Regardless, I hope you hold him accountable. Unfortunately it sounds like you immediately responded when he reached out (and I say unfortunately because the quicker you forgive him the more he will know what he can get away with). But be sure to keep perspective with the situation and hold him accountable. Don’t be afraid of the outcome — you absolutely must be able to voice how you feel fearlessly. Otherwise you’ll never be able to talk to him and you will allow more and more nonsense to slip through the cracks.

[mispix22]

i agree completely. like i said he apparently said he doesn't remember anything at all. so i dunno. until we see each other ill express myself more
clearly.

he also said he would not drink like that ever again I don't know

[dilara019]

He is like a little boy who not know what he wants its really exhausting I wouldn't talk to him anymore