Should I reach out again?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy were friends at work and continued to hang out after he left the job. At times it felt that there were feelings as I gave him a lot of signs I was into him and he always reacted positively. I also know he used to care about me a lot and usually isn't the "player" type and used to be very shy. However, recently he started talking about hooking up with a lot of girls but would always say he isn't really into them. I just assumed this means he isn't into me, so I told him "I know you don't feel the same but I wanted to let you that I'll be taking some space to get over my feelings but would like to stay friends". He said okay and that he just sees me as a friend. When I reached out to be friends again, he ghosted me. Why is he acting like this and do I reach out again?

[Oliverlogan263]

ugh girl that sounds so frustrating! From the sounds of it, this guy is confusing AF. A few thoughts:

- Even if he's into hooking up with other girls now, that doesn't mean he never had feels for you too. Guys are complex lol

- Ghosting you after you wanted to be friends is a bitch move. Like dude make up your mind!

- My theory is he did like you but is scared of commitment or something. So he acts out. Classic avoidant behavior 🙄

- I say reach out one more time, but don't put too much hope in a reply. Just say something casual like "hey, how's it going".

- Ball's in his court then. If he ghosts again, then you'll know for sure he's not mature enough for you girl!

- Don't let this clown live rent free in your head. Know your worth - you deserve someone excited to be with you 💅

Hit him up, but don't stress it either way. His loss! You've got this girly, stay shining with or without him. Let me know if you need anything else! 💕

[Asker]

Appreciate the response! I really hope things can work out I really like him, it is just so frustrating not being able to get answers.

[Oliverlogan263]

I definitely understand still having feelings for him, even if he's being confusing and not giving you a definite answer. Breaking your heart is the last thing you want to go through.

If you really think there's still a chance it could work out, maybe one more reach out wouldn't hurt - but only if you're fully prepared that he might blow you off again. I'd keep it casual but let him know you still care, like "Hey, been thinking about our friendship and wanted to see if you'd be open to grabbing coffee to chat?"

Going into it with realistic expectations is key. And make sure he knows you're not waiting around forever - if he's not willing to put in effort too, you'll have to start the moving on process for real. As much as it stings, protecting your heart has to come first. You deserve someone who celebrates what they have with you!

But your call - just do what feels right deep down. And if it doesn't work out, don't forget how amazing you are. His loss, girl! You've got this.

[spartan55]

Wow, you misread that one by a mile.

[Asker]

Lol, which part?

[spartan55]

Him being interested.

[Asker]

Any advice on how to proceed? Thanks!

[spartan55]

He told you he thinks of you as a friend, so there isn't anything to proceed towards. Then you showed him the potential for drama so he dipped. Live and learn.