I was pretty close FRIENDS with this guy all last school year. We would tell each other most things and be there for each other as friends do. Even though him dating someone Wich I fully respected and supported. Sometime in May, we became a little closer. Nothing ever happened and we never talked about one person liking the other. ( for context I don’t care.. it’s not that deep nor is it the issue) When the summer rolled around he became a little more distant. It seemed like he wanted space so I gave him space and only reached out intermittently to check in. At one point I got the typical guy response of “ I’m fine just busy with work and stuff” This response was unusual for him so I asked if we were good and he was like ya. ( another weird response for HIM specifically) So I sent him a text saying “ Last text I promise: look I’m not saying u need to be texting or snapping me 24/7. U have a life. It just felt like Smth was up. Ur allowed to be busy and do ur thing. U also don’t need to tell me anything if you don’t want to. All I am asking is for u to be honest if u want space tell me I will always understand.” That’s exactly what I said. I sent that text a little over two weeks ago and have heard nothing. I am so hurt. Putting aside anything that ever even went on in May it fizzled out so quickly and I just thought we were good friends. I just thought our friendship was better than that. I'm so confused about what to do school starts in 3 weeks and I don’t want anything to be awkward. Should I say smth else? Like: “Hey I really just want to clear the air” or should I just wait? (…. I want to be very clear this problem is happening on a friendship level not dating.)
Should I reach out again/what is the right next step?
Updates
8 mo
fallow up question: Did I do something wrong?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I see two issues. One is you're seeing what you want to see, leading to disappointment and frustration. The other is you messaged him with the expected condition he would respond. He did respond, just not the way you wanted him to respond. If he was interested in a friendship with you, he would have done something to make sure you knew that. It's time to accept his non-interest and move on. The reasons don't matter, especially since he's highly unlikely to share the reasons with you. There are too many possibilities, and guessing would only allow you to manufacture something to blame, and blame never actually solves anything.
thank you... its hard to accept that sometimes.. i think I have trouble letting go
You're welcome. In the future, make sure you know what you're investing in before you make any investment, and make sure both of you see the same thing and are equally invested.
Best just leaving it no point trying to force a connection, what's for you will remain and what isn't will leave. If no reply in that long then dont forget silence is also a response just leave him to it and focus on yourself.
very very true. Silence is also a response. I guess I was dumb and thought he was better than that.
It does sound like your being abit pushy just for being a friend from what you put it's like you was in a relationship plus we ain't the best at being open at times work in progress doing much better but I get it he said he is fine busy with life and your questioning what he has said as if he is lying so that probably annoyed him.
thank you... it's hard sometimes to get it from a guy's perspective but that totally makes sense. what should I do when I see him at school?
Nothing just go about your day and dont go out of your way to speak to him if you speak you speak just keep it casual and dont speak about what has already been said between you unless he says something about it.