I dated a guy who was an fboy 4 years ago before I got into a serious relationship with my ex. He was really avoidant and getting over his ex, so I assumed he didn't like me. When I'd met my ex, I let him know that I had a boyfriend now and couldn't talk anymore. He ended up messaging me for a year or two after that, telling me sporadically that he had a dream about me, missed me, and was confused why we never spoke or saw each other again and hopes he could see me again or even be friends again someday. I was in a relationship, but had the impression he liked me after all given his messages and persistent contact - I never responded once, and even blocked him a few times out of respect for my ex-partner.
Fast forward to now - I've broken up with my ex, and was always curious about this guy after how he responded to my moving on. I saw him on a dating app and swiped right for fun, and he immediately messaged me saying he misses us, and immediately asked me to hang out that night... But asked me over to his house for dinner. I was out of town, and this last weekend he asked me to meet up on Wednesday or Thursday this week, but again coming to his house (red flag). I suggested we get a drink out at a place and he agreed and we kept the idea of going to his place open-ended. He ended up texting me the next day explaining why he wasn't free until Wednesday or Thursday and said he actually can't wait to see me.
I haven't heard from him, and it's now Wednesday haha (and he said Wed/Thurs we should hang out and hasn't followed up). This behavior perplexes me and I don't know how to handle it. Should I just take it easy and say/do nothing so he can be the one to pursue something if he wants? Or just act like a normal person and ask him what the deal is so I can make other plans? He's so flakey that I don't know how to best handle these situations, and I don't want to act desperate at all. I find this confusing after years of him reaching out. Whats the deal?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
He probably thinks you are flakey too.
Why do you say that? I'm usually more direct, should I just ask him what's up? I'm worried if I show any interest or signs of waiting around, he will lose interest because he's so weird and flakey - but also so confused because he mesaged me for years and finally has the chance to see me again and told me last week he can't wait. What the heck?
Your mindset is not going to get the results you want. How can you possibly expect anyone to be interested in you if you won't show interest in them. This is one thing you girls always cling to... and it never works.
ex stays in past
always
he's not my ex, he's a guy i dated casually before i met my ex who then messaged me a bunch after I was in a relationship which made me think he liked me after all , but if now being flakey again lol
he seems like big waste of time