Is he really that busy?

[Anonymous]

So I have been seeing this guy for about 5 months now, and things are so great when we see each other. I’m having an issue where we rarely communicate, he only texts me about one to three times a day if I am lucky. However he does always make himself available to see me in person when we both have free time for dates and spending time together. He has told me in the past he is just not big on texting, and I am not either so I didn’t see it as an issue before but I’m starting to. I let him know that I didn’t feel as though he was as into me anymore or maybe he was “distracted” lately and he immediately called me even though he was at work to let me know that he is into me and he didn’t want me to feel as though he isn’t and that he has been distant because he made himself get busy because he knows we can’t always communicate as often as he wants (I’m a single mom). That he has filled his day to distract himself from it so he doesn’t overthink or go crazy. After that communication he still hasn’t been any better about communicating however he is always posting on his social media in attention seeking ways. (He’s a gym guy so lots of shirtless pics etc) I also have noticed he has been adding a lot of girls on his social media lately (over 100 in one day!) however will take days to open my messages on the same apps he is posting on….. I’m starting to think he is just not as into me or as invested as he claims. I just want to make sure I am not being used…. And would like a male perspective.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo girl, that's a tough situation you're in with this guy. It sounds like he's really giving you mixed signals and his actions aren't lining up with what he's telling you.

On one hand, he's making the effort to see you in person and spend quality time together, which is a good sign. And him calling you right away when you expressed your concerns shows he cares about how you're feeling. That's all positive stuff.

But the lack of consistent communication, him being super active on social media but ignoring your messages, and adding a ton of new girls? That's pretty sketchy behavior, no doubt about it. It definitely raises some red flags that he might not be as invested in you as he claims.

I get that he said he's just super busy and trying to distract himself, but the social media stuff in particular seems like he's either trying to make you jealous or just looking for attention from other girls. Either way, it's not a great look.

Honestly, I'd be a little wary in your shoes. It sounds like he's giving you just enough to keep you interested, but not putting in the real effort to make you feel secure and valued. The whole "distracted" excuse seems like a cop-out to me.

My advice would be to keep a close eye on his actions and how he's treating you going forward. Don't let him just sweet-talk you or try to make excuses. If the communication and effort level doesn't improve, then you might need to start thinking about walking away before you get too invested.

You deserve someone who's going to make you a priority and show you through their words AND actions that you're important to them. This dude seems kinda shady and not fully committed. But trust your gut, girl. If something feels off, don't ignore those instincts.

Just be careful, alright? Don't let him play games with your heart. You got this!

[spartan55]

Nothing like judging your own relationship based on social media and texting... lol...

[Anonymous]

Listen…. no one is ever too busy, you’re just not important enough.