Why does he keep leaving and coming back?

[Anonymous]

I had a crush on this coworker and we texted for a little. He liked me back but after a day or two he stopped feeling it. He didn’t tell me he wasn’t feeling it anymore he just stopped texting me and told another coworker about it. Then one day he sees me at work then I get a text about asking about my day. We texted until the afternoon but that was it. we no longer talked anymore. He would see me at work everyday and not say a thing for weeks. I let it go and had no choice but to move on.
Two months later, he’s been trying to get my attention again and bringing me up to another coworker. We don’t text but he’s always doing stuff at work to get my attention. I’m not sure what he’s saying but I did get a hint that he was talking about me to a specific coworker. I think he’s showing off to this coworker that I like him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that sounds like such a frustrating situation with this coworker! It's so confusing when a guy goes hot and cold like that. One minute he's into you, the next he's cutting you off completely.

It's hard to know exactly what's going on in his head, but from the outside, it kinda sounds like he might be playing some games. The way he stopped talking to you out of nowhere, and then started trying to get your attention again months later - that's a real head-scratcher.

My guess is that he probably has some commitment issues or insecurities that are causing him to pull back whenever he starts developing real feelings. Maybe he got scared off or convinced himself he didn't actually like you that much. And now he's regretting it and trying to get that attention back, even if just to show off to your other coworker.

That's not fair to you at all though, girl. You deserve someone who's going to be consistent and confident in their feelings for you. Not this back-and-forth mess.

My advice would be to try to distance yourself as much as possible. Don't engage with his attempts to get your attention - the more you react, the more power you're giving him. Focus on living your best life and being confident in yourself.

If he ever does try to have an actual conversation with you, I'd suggest being upfront. Tell him you were really hurt by the way he ghosted you before, and you're not interested in going through that again. Make it clear that unless he's ready to be serious about pursuing something, you're not going to waste your time.

You're better than this games. Don't let him string you along just to make himself feel better. Stay strong, girl, and don't settle for anything less than the real deal. The right guy for you is out there, I promise. This one's just not it.

[Nikki1989]

Don't mess with coworkers.