When I invited him to lunch he was embarrassed. He said sometimes. What does that mean?

[PinkieD]

My good friend recently invited me to lunch. I wanted to return the favor, so I invited him home too, but he was embarrassed and said first "but please come" and then "sometime". I feel more for him and he's so hot and cold, but I think he knows that I care about him, because even after a long trip he calls me to say he arrived safely and sends me photos when he's somewhere away from home. When we first met, he called me to go on an adventurous car trip with him. But the last few days I feel like he's running away from me. I don't know if it's because he's busy with work or if he's scared. He's nice to me, we meet almost every day, even if sometimes just for a few sentences. We basically text each other every day, just to say good morning or good afternoon and ask how we're doing. So I don't know what to think.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a tough one girl. It sounds like this guy you're into is sending some really mixed signals, which can be so frustrating to deal with.

The fact that he got all embarrassed and evasive when you invited him over for lunch is a little weird. The way he said "but please come" and then "sometime" makes it seem like he might have been feeling uncomfortable or nervous about the idea.

It could be that he's just really busy with work and didn't want to commit to a specific time right then. Or it could be that he's feeling a little awkward about the idea of spending more one-on-one time with you, especially in a more intimate setting like your place.

Even though you two are good friends and text all the time, he might still be trying to keep some boundaries in place. Especially if he senses that you have stronger feelings for him than he does for you. He might be worried about leading you on or sending the wrong signals.

At the same time, the fact that he calls you after trips and shares photos seems to suggest he does genuinely care about you and values your friendship. And the way you said he was the one who initially invited you on that car trip is a good sign too.

My guess is that he's just a little unsure of how to navigate this whole situation. He probably cares about you a lot, but he might not be ready to take things to the next level romantically. He might be trying to pump the brakes a little to avoid hurting you or making things awkward.

The best thing you can do is try to have an honest, open conversation with him about it. Don't accuse him of anything or get upset - just let him know you've noticed he's been a little distant lately, and you want to make sure you're both on the same page about your friendship.

See if you can get him to open up about what's going on. Reassure him that you value his friendship and that you're not trying to pressure him into anything. But also let him know that you have feelings for him, and you'd be open to exploring a romantic relationship if he's interested.

The key is to give him space to be honest with you, and to make it clear that you respect his boundaries. If he's just not ready for something more, try to accept that gracefully. It's better than losing him as a friend completely.

Hang in there, girl. I know it's a tough situation, but try not to overthink it too much. Just focus on being a good friend, and see where things go from there. With a little patience and understanding, hopefully you two can figure it out.

[PinkieD]

Thank you for the great opinion. I invited him to a restaurant for lunch, but I'm really busy right now. He works with me in the hospital, he also has his own gym (he's my personal trainer here) and he's also working on his off-road car and preparing it for a winter adventure. From the first moment we met, we looked into each other's eyes and then we started seeing each other more and more. At work for coffee, after training we have coffee. When handing over the Christmas gift, he asked for "at least a hug". A few days ago he waited for me at the entrance to work (I was coming and he was leaving) with a coffee in his hand, saying that he would come to see me in a moment, but he didn't, and then he wrote that he had to go because he was taking a colleague home. I don't blame him for anything and I don't want to push him into anything, I just get confused sometimes. Because body language is also quite clear. When we look into each other's eyes, I don't notice anything around me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, it definitely sounds like there's something special going on between you two! The way you describe the way you look into each other's eyes and the little gestures he makes, like bringing you coffee and asking for a hug - that's all really promising.

It's great that you're not trying to push him or force anything. That's the right approach, especially since he seems a little hesitant at times. Some guys can get freaked out when they feel like a relationship is moving too fast, even if they're interested.

I think you're doing the right thing by not overthinking it too much and just enjoying the time you get to spend together, whether it's at work, the gym, or grabbing coffee. The fact that he's making the effort to see you and do little thoughtful things is a really good sign. He's clearly into you, even if he's not ready to take that next step yet.

Just keep being your awesome self, girl. Let him set the pace and don't stress about trying to define the relationship right now. When the time is right, I'm sure he'll open up more. In the meantime, savor those stolen moments where you two can connect. The way you describe the way you look at each other - that chemistry is undeniable.

Trust your gut, girl. If this guy is making you feel special, there's probably a good reason for it. Just be patient, keep communication open, and who knows where this could lead! Wishing you all the best.

[PinkieD]

I don't need to define it yet. I'm just afraid that I've explained it all wrong and he just wants to be friendly and nice. But I think that if he wasn't interested he wouldn't have written to me, called me, or even spent time with me over coffee. Thanks for your opinion.

[MissTrix]

He is hot and cold then he has other female friends he is doing this with! Guys don't jump from one to the other without reason usually.

For the home was it for food? Sounds like he clearly decided you asked him home for something else!

He is probably making things up and deciding things about you randomly.

It's good having a guy friend but he sounds off and showing red weird flags.

[PinkieD]

I invited him to a restaurant like he invited me. And yes, we have a complicated situation because I'm still married and he's divorced but has a girlfriend who he knows will leave him because of the age difference.

[MissTrix]

So your friends and inviting him to home or a restruant? Hia girlfriend probably got mad if she heard and I'd think your husband would not be happy.

Maybe his girlfriend was upset him talking about you?

If you don't already know this is emotionally cheating on your husband. Not saying you can't have guy friends just don't forget your husband and dating him even after your married

Unless he cares less about giving you the time of day!
Good luck

[Sunrising]

I suggest taking up his offer of lunch, and go from there !