Why do guys think it’s ok to try and pursue a girl, knowing she’s not interested?

[darkxoangel92]

I lost my fiancé September 22,2024 suddenly and tragically. It hasn’t even been 6 months yet and these dudes are steady trying. I don’t know how many more time I have to say I’m not freaking interested.🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

[SteveSmith1985]

Holy shit. I saw this question, but after reading your description... this took on a very different tone.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I've never understood why some (a decent percentage) of guys do that. I've been trying to figure that out myself ever since I was like 8 or 9 and would watch Will Smith do exactly that on "The Fresh Prince" everyday after school.

I literally don't get it. It doesn't compute for me. It's always struck me as pathetic in this super-obnoxious way. I get mild second-hand embarrassment when I see guys do this.

So a guy asks a girl out, and she says "no."

Ok... so... what the fuck is this guy thinking when he decides to continue pursuing her?

-Is he possibly thinking that she must not really mean "no"?

-Is he possibly thinking that she doesn't think she's interested, but if only he can annoy her into finally agreeing to a date... then surely she'll discover that she was wrong, and she'll find that she's interested in you afterall... if only you can get her to "give you a chance" and agree to go out with you?

-Is he possibly thinking that by not taking no for an answer that he's showing her that he really REALLY wants to go out with her... thereby making her think "wow... this guy must really like me a lot if he wants a date this badly"?

-Is he possibly thinking she's playing "hard to get" and so WANTS him to keep asking her out?

-Is he possibly just a total asshole and literally only cares about what he wants regardless of what she may want and intends to ask over and over until she finally gives-in and gives him what he wants (a date)?

I truly don't know. But I do know that each of these possibilities are really fucked-up!

In your situation though, this phenomenon is way way way worse than simply being annoying.

I'm going to guess that you're not mentioning the recent loss of your fiancé when you tell these guys you're not interested? That's understandable.

However, I think that any guy would immediately shut-the-fuck-up and leave you alone if you were to mention it.

So, at the end of the day hopefully you do have a "leave me the hell alone" card you can use even if it's not something you want to use all the time. It should at least work 100% of the time.

If, on the other hand... you ARE letting these guys know that you're not interested because of your recent loss... and these guys STILL pursue you:

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure you're allowed to punch that guy right in the mouth. At least no judge or jury would ever convict you.

I am so so sorry you're dealing with this bullshit on top of everything you're going though. That's so messed up, and nobody should have to deal with the situation you're in.

P. S. I'm sure you know this, but still... only a certain type of guy who ever does this. Most of us don't. I realize that changes nothing about what you're experiencing. Just throwing it out there.

I hope these guys leave you the hell alone. 🙂

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm sorry for your loss!

And to answer your question, there are a lot of people out there who have simply never been taught a healthy understanding of boundaries and social awareness. It's pretty pathetic, how unaware these people can get.

[Anonymous]

First of all I’m sorry to hear that. But honestly women tend to send mixed signals to men. You always hear of women complaining why didn’t he try harder. He asked me out then just gave up when I said no. So sometimes it may be that mentality. Women have told their man they want a divorce or to breakup then got mad when the man said ok. Then she’s upset questioning why he didn’t try to fight for her.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women think it's OK to flirt with a guy even though she has no interest.

I'm sorry you lost your fiance. I truly am. But you need to understand in the world of men and women interaction guys by in large do not give 💩 that you've lost your fiance. Nor do women by in large give a 💩 about anything a man has went through. Unfortunately it's just the world we live in.

[LiamS95]

Sorry for your loss, it's rather insensitive of the guys that have been hitting on you. It takes time to work through the greiving process and come to terms with such a loss. I wish you nothing but the best, take care.

[Wayneg89]

First off sorry for your loss. Second if they keep trying after knowing you're not interested then they're just assholes. If they try without knowing then I'd just take the compliment and inform them that you're not interested. 😁

[RedThread]

Some people can't handle rejection or can't take no for an answer. It's insecure small pp energy behavior.

[MannMitAntworten]

Just tell them to, “fuck off”. Some people don’t get what that form of loss can do to an individual.

[jahaims]

Why do you assume they care? They are after ur pussy not ur feelings if they r like that

[MasterKS]

Girls change their mind so better thy their luck.

[ChicoFromThe305]

My condolences

[scott04sa22]

Sorry for your loss