What would guys need to heal or unlearn to stop obsessing over a woman’s past and actually be present for the relationship in front of them?

[MzAsh]

[ohsheeT]

If you were to get 100 men ask them what they think about women who have a past

Then as them how many times the have had sex or have had fantasy's about different women having sex with them

And then you get 100 men who also have a past. what they think about women who has a past

In both type of men they are the type of man that would say. Do as I say not as I do..

The first guys that have just had fantasy's. And for the second guys who have a past

Look at women with a past as dirty and as slots. Because that's who they are in there mind because of the last they all want a virgin. .. then when a guy gets with a girl that has had a boyfriend in there mind they have to know about the guy to see if the guy is better than them

From dick size to passion. To being a better person and knowing how to love someone. Guys are in there own heads They're now in competition with an x from this girl and they have to know everything about the guy just to see if they are better than him. That's the sad part. Guys are Scared to death about love Because they know nothing about it and they're not willing to learn
So If you're a girl that has had a boyfriend weather it's 1 or 20.

Omg now the guys head is spinning he's thinking. 1 to 20. Guys who know how to love you. And omg 1 to 20 cocks in you. They are all better lovers then him in his head

So what is going to take?
Is for a guy to learn how to love a girl and learn how to make love to a girl To have that confidence in himself. Other wise he needs to blame someone for his Not knowing what to do. Or Not measuring up to the last guy It is all in his own head

The girl likes the guy could care less about the past guy or guys that's the past

The Girl is now with him a new guy and the new guy Wants to sabotage it all Because he is not confident within himself
Because he does not know how to love and he does not know how to use his Dick.
You're so afraid that the person before him was better than him

[Shiprex]

It's not about obsession over her sexual past it's about what that means.
Someone who has a habit of gambling would be unreliable to trust if you get into a financial relationship with them.
Someone who has a habit of violence when drunk would be unwise to get drunk with them and "debate".

It's a sign of the kind of habits and personal values the person has and the risk they pose for any kind of commitment.

Now the argument that but men do and women do and there should be the same standards is bunkum. Women and men do not experience sexual access equally. Average women going out in a public setting for hook ups WILL get noticed by men and very likely propositioned. An average man won't. Few women are mature enough to go out and be the ones to approach men even today. Most of the work of "chasing" (as if women are prey which is gross in the first place) is expected to be done by men. It's men who are still expected to do the spending and planning and making the running at the beginning. Well done to those women who do reciprocate efforts. So it's an investment for men wholly that is mostly wasted in both costs and effort. For women it's easier. Getting made up and dressed is, we're told, for themselves so that shouldn't be counted in their effort. Most could turn up as they are and still be successful.

So putting in an effort and investing in something that is potentially going to blow up in your face when mistakes are made are absolutely valid reasons to "obsess" instead of "man up and get over it". Being present at that time is fine but for how long does he have to keep giving before she upgrades?

[MzAsh]

Yes, women generally have more access to sex. Yes, men often put in more effort to pursue. That’s not just a societal expectation, it’s nature. But what’s also nature is men generally wanting to pursue. Effort isn’t some unfair burden, it’s part of what makes healthy attraction work. This doesn’t change the fact that if women are judged for having a heavy past, men should be held to the same standard.

And your final sentence gives away the game. The real fear isn’t about her past, it’s about her future. You’re not just worried about her loyalty. You’re worried you’re not her best option. But instead of growing into someone she’d never want to leave, you focus on limiting her options.

[Shiprex]

That is just spouting princess syndrome and excuses for hedonistic tendency. If you don't value men then tell them. If you're always expecting others to want you then that's narcissistic.
Women aren't the prize to be fawning over and simping for. Get real. After 35 what's their purpose?
If loyalty is a dirty word and unattainable concept, then leave men alone.
A leopard won't change its spots even if it says it's a hyena

[MzAsh]

You didn’t actually respond to anything I said. You just threw around buzzwords and insults, hoping they’d land.

[Shiprex]

I read it and had answered it above. It's NOTHING to do with her future but wholly to do with her PROBABILITY of making bad life choices. Promiscuity is a habitual behaviour, like smoking, drugs, drinking etc. If you did a lot then all of a sudden say, I quit and then expect someone to accept your word for it then they're mugs for believing you.
Intimacy isn't a hobby, it shows a lack of value placed on the act of sex and therefore has a high chance that the promiscuous person wouldn't think anything of a quicky with a hot stud even because you don't get that chance all the time, or the buzz was there.
It's a clear sign the person has low moral standards and they don't just all of a sudden become resolved to something solid.

[Screenwriter]

People are the sum total of their experiences. If you have a wonderful woman in front of you, why not take her as she is and revel in the fact that she's become wonderful either in spite of a rough beginning, or because of a great beginning.

Unless she has PTSD due to some horrific experience and you need to be careful around her, or she acts out due to a negative past, you don't need to know everything that's happened to her before you met her.

In the same vein, she doesn't have to know everything that happened to you years ago unless it's pertinent to right now.

Start fresh with each other and enjoy being new. That's lots of fun.

[Leon1]

If people are the sum total of their experiences and they had mostly negative experiences then they are the sum total of negative. Women punish good men and give negative men all the fresh starts, then cry how they didn’t see it coming.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

They would need to unlearn the idea that society values men on the basis of their virginal status. There are so many men who have meaningless sex just because they don’t want to be a virgin anymore and not out of any real desire to be with the person they give it to. This directly relates to the ideas that create purity culture and say that women are only valuable as virgins and/or you can’t date a “whore” who’s slept with more men than you’ve slept with women.

[Leon1]

Men have an innate biological wiring to spread their seeds, a single adult male typically produces around 100 to 200 million sperm per day. And produce an estimated trillion sperm cells in a lifetime. And Therefore can be seen as an achievement, in contrast By the time a girl enters puberty, only about 25% of her lifetime total egg pool remains. By her Thirtees 99% - 90% of her eggs die, Therefore the Quality of Partner she offers those eggs to aka the person she picks & keeps is seen as an achievement. There is biological reasons to it.

[Leon1]

Further an egg conducts something known as chemical bread crumbing to select / picks the most compatible sperm so it’s not the fastest one that get picked but what the egg sees as the most compatible then a protein known as ZP2 needs to make sure no other sperm gets in because females even on a cellular level get to select & pick on the offset who gets to reproduce and who’s genes dies out.

[Leon1]

This is why women’s choice/leverage come from sex & reproduction, men on the other hand choose/leverage who they will commit to & have a relationship with because sex and love are distinct.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Gonna be honest, that all just sounds like excuses to me

[MzAsh]

Appreciate the biology lesson, Leon, but no amount of sperm stats changes the fact that emotional immaturity, possessiveness, and fear of female agency aren’t traits women are biologically wired to tolerate. You keep calling it biology, but what you’re really describing is a desperate need for a control you’ll never have, disguised as evolutionary wisdom. Nice try kiddo.

[Leon1]

While a woman can only give birth to one child every nine months, a man can theoretically impregnate many women in the same length of time. It’s no surprise that virility is a sign of masculinity and fertility that of femininity and the connection of biology to those perceptions.

[Leon1]

That was a typo i meant “one mans children”

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yes, the idea points to men being biologically expendable. Losing one man’s sperm is no real loss in terms of ecology

[Leon1]

That’s right, Men are disposable Grunts and valued Kings, Soldiers and Generals, the Trash or the Trash collectors. males don’t live in the Goldilocks Zone, with free drinks, free entries, ladies and children first.

[Leon1]

Ultimately, Everything a Man has came from suffering. it’s the little worker Bee that survived protecting the Hive from big swarm of Wasps to feed the Queen Bee. And he has every right to select whom that Queen will be, she needs to be worth the sweet honey.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Men made society based on suffering

[Leon1]

Since Religion to Liberalism humans think they can save themselves from nature, it’s nature. They’ll be phased out into walking tin cans “androids”.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I don't know what’s going on with you, maybe you just don’t get out enough or something I don't know but insulting me isn’t going to convince me that you’re right and clearly you’re rationally intelligent enough to know that, but it seems like your emotions are taking over this so maybe go deal with it somewhere else

[Leon1]

TBF it was a general statement I don’t know if you’re Religious or a Liberal or even who you are, don’t know what my location has to do with anything I could take a phone out with me and type while waiting for the bus either way I apologize if you felt that way.

[Priya99999]

@Leon1 fake indoctrination

[DrPepper12]

If you're referring to body count or so-called promiscuity that's something only weak insecure males worry about. Unfortunately, they are in the majority. IDGAF about your past. I care about our future.

[MzAsh]

Spoken like a true gentleman! 👏

[Still-alive]

unfortunately they are gonna have to stop listening to incel or manosphere ideologues on social media. i don't see that happening anytime soon. it takes a lot of insight and critical thinking to get over why woman won't date them or give them the time of day. that takes a lot of hard work so instead they just listen to whoever appeals to their biases to confirm that no women are the problem not the men themselves.

yeah i just don't see it happening. just avoid those types is all i can tell you.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

If it's a cultural issue then they would need a different culture, one more embracing, more tolerant about what makes people actual people.

If it's a psychological issue, they would need more balanced childhood, emotionally.

Since it's probably a combination of both, let's give them both? That's going to be a lot of work, but I think it'll be great, when it'll happen !

[MrOracle]

Men are not women. I know there are plenty of women who get into relationships with even violent criminal and even sexual predators, but most men care about a woman's past, and nothing is ever going to change that.

[MzAsh]

Let’s not act like men haven’t overlooked plenty of red flags when it benefits them.

[MrOracle]

Absolutely, that happens too. But the bottom line is that men and women value different things, and just as you get to decide what you value in a man, men get to decide what they value in a woman.

The other complexity that many women don't grasp is that (the majority of) men have a completely (and much lower) set of standards for who they will have casual sex with, vs. who they will be in a relationship with. Plenty of men won't care about a woman's past, BUT that's because he doesn't intend to commit to her anyway. He's just there for a bit of fun.

Of course, the guy is rarely going to tell the girl that - he's just going to say "who cares about body count?" (or whatever other standard he may have for relationships). Most guys will instantly understand that he doesn't take that woman seriously, because the vast majority of men, if they DID take her seriously, WOULD care (and, yes, there are always a small percentage of exceptions).

Women rarely accept or understand that if a guy isn't holding her to any standards, it's because he doesn't take her seriously, and she isn't in his "potential committed relationship" category but rather his "for recreational use only" category. Some women don't mind that, but most women who are in that category BELIEVE that they're in the "potential committed relationship" category, even though all the signs disagree. I just think women should be honest with themselves about where they stand, so they can make better decisions for themselves and have better outcomes. But some are so against accepting reality that they'd rather attack me, as if I'm trying to hurt them. I'm not. I'm also not trying to force anyone into anything. If someone is going to make a bad decision, they should at least be aware that they're making a bad decision, so they blame only themselves when things go badly.

[MzAsh]

You’re right that men and women get to choose what they value. But here’s what you’re ignoring… most men don’t actually get what they claim to value. They say they want the pure woman, then spend their youth chasing the ones they now look down on, and somehow still expect the untouched saint to show up later, eager to build with them.

The whole “I’ll sleep with this woman but only commit to that one” logic is delusional wishful thinking. And ironically, the very mindset that says “Woman A is for fun, Woman B for love” is what makes a man unfit for serious commitment in the eyes of a woman with actual standards.

If someone’s going to make a bad decision, yes, they should own it. That includes men who keep recycling the same unconvincing double standards and blaming women for the consequences of their own poor judgment.

[MrOracle]

What you don't seem to realize is that WOMEN are the ones who created this system, and they did so in the face of dire warnings that it went against their own long-term interests.

See, WOMEN control access to sex, and in the past, women used to require commitment before agreeing to sex - which ALSO meant that they had to bring enough other value to the relationship to secure that commitment from the man. But WOMEN changed this system that had endured for centuries because it was in women's best interest, and instead began having casual sex on a large scale. They could get attention and other favors from men via casual sex without needing to bring anything else of value, so in the very short term, it was easier. But when they eventually wanted a commitment, they increasingly learned that men weren't interested. First, because they could already get sex, and second, because women no longer brought long-term value to the relationship.

Of course, there are still a few women with traditional values who can get traditional relationships, but today, they are the exception rather than the rule.

But that's all a result of WOMEN'S choices. Men have not changed, except to adapt to the changes women have made.

[MzAsh]

Both men and women adapted to cultural shifts, and men were happy to benefit from the casual sex, freedom, and fewer expectations… until it came time to actually build something. That’s when the complaining started.

You say women don’t bring long term value anymore, but you’re ignoring the fact that women are out here working full-time, raising kids, running households, and still expected to be emotionally available while a lot of men are offering little more than “I pay bills, what more do you want?”

And trad relationships weren’t always the great setup you make it sound like. A lot of women were saving themselves for average, emotionally unavailable men who turned out to be a complete letdown, if not abusive. That’s not a good deal and women realized it.

You also act like women don’t want commitment anymore. Plenty of us, myself included, have had fun in our 20s, got the experience we needed at the time, and went on to build long lasting, healthy, monogamous relationships and marriages. No one “settled.” We simply strategized like a pro. And it worked.

At the end of the day, smart men and women still know how to position themselves for lasting love. They know what kind of woman or man is worth investing in. They don’t sit around blaming each other for their dating decisions or the outcomes of relationships they were never equipped to maintain in the first place.

[MrOracle]

The fact is that women today choose careers over family - and that this wasn't an accident nor a natural evolution. The Marxists that took over colleges in the 50s and early 60s planned this change and used their students - Gloria Stienem among them - to push that propaganda onto women (especially in college, where they created and completely controlled Women's Studies curriculum) and once they had a generation of college women brainwashed, they expanded out into other institutions and industries the idea that having families was for loser and that women should pursue college and careers.

The result of this is a global birthrate collapse, and most people have NO IDEA how bad things are going to be. Take Japan - their economy has been stagnant for 35 years because they have so many old people and not nearly enough young people to tax and keep them alive and run the economy, so growth ended and the economy shrunk. South Korea's collapse began later, but the collapse is much more severe.

[MrOracle]

What you maybe don't understand is that things are going to be so bad that women are going to lose their freedoms and be forced to marry and have children, and they are going to accept this because their societal conditions are going to be that bad.

It's going to be a slightly slower process in the US, but it's coming here too. Older women are going to be cut off of benefits (until they are truly elderly) and forced to work, while younger women are likely to be denied college and careers during their 20s and 30s. That may sound crazy, but when they can't keep the power on or the goods moving, and stores close down, people will get desperate and will accept whatever changes are required to correct it. And those corrections are going to seem severe to most women.

Keep up with South Korea and you will see your future.

[MzAsh]

People keep harping on about the “global birthrate collapse” like it’s the apocalypse, but nobody in your little doom parade seems to care about quality of life inside the families you want to mass produce. Why is nobody asking what kind of families are we even building? Because right now, a lot of them are miserable, dysfunctional, and emotionally bankrupt, and that’s a crisis too. Probably the bigger one.

You act like women choosing not to have kids is a problem, but for many, it’s a conscious choice to stop the cycle of chaos. We’re not here to pump out kids into emotionally starved homes just to keep a GDP number from slipping. We want healthy, capable, resilient families, not just more bodies.

And on “women were brainwashed by feminists to choose careers over families” narrative. That’s not the message I ever got. What I heard, and what a lot of us heard, was that we could choose. That there’s nothing wrong with wanting a career, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and mom either. And there are even other paths entirely. Feminism didn’t force anything, it just opened the door. What you’re mad about is that many women walked through it.

And no, women are not going to “lose their freedoms” and be forced into marriages and births. That’s a dystopian revenge fantasy. Women aren’t going back into cages because some men are panicking over not getting to coast through life on default patriarchal settings. You’re peddling a threat, and I’m telling you right now that we’re not your bitches.

[Pinup_Scarlett46]

To stop obsessing over a woman’s past and be present in a relationship, men need to:
Build self-confidence to overcome insecurities.

Let go of judgmental or controlling attitudes about a partner’s history.
Foster trust and vulnerability through open communication.
Practice mindfulness to focus on the present.
Challenge societal norms that stigmatize women’s pasts. Therapy, honest dialogue, or journaling can support this process.

[RHK36]

Honestly it varies your past does matter. The only ones ashamed of their past or don't want it to define them must have done some awful shit. Would you date a man that was a rapist or pedo. Your past matters on some level. To argue against it is silly and probably has a sketchy past. I don't have anyone trying to weaponize my past because I wasn't a pos at any point that someone would do that to me.

[MzAsh]

There’s a massive difference between violent criminal offenses and consensual adult choices. Also, assuming someone must be ashamed if they reject your judgment is projection.

[exitseven]

This is a good question. Itis hard to answer because every one id different. but i think a common response is that a lot of guys are insecure and find it hard to reconcile with the fact that their girlfriends have had many more partners than they have had. Even though intellectually you can make the argument that it is much easier for a girl to rack up a big body count than it is for a guy, it must be hard to imagine that your girlfriend is comparing you to every other guy she had sex with.

[Staximus]

A track record or bad reputation is hard to shake. Once a person becomes an adult their behavior rarely changes. Most of the girls and guys I know who cheated on their boyfriends and girlfriends 20 years ago are still cheating on their husband and wives now. Most of the people I know who still did hard drugs 20 years ago are still doing them, too. If people can't own up to their past mistakes then that's too bad.

[MzAsh]

I hear you, but I don’t totally agree. Sure, some people stay the same, but in my experience, a lot of that track record stuff doesn’t hold the same weight over time. At my age, I’ve found that most people don’t even remember half the things they or others did in their 20s. Life happens. People move, grow, change, forget. I’ve talked to folks who once thought they’d never be able to show their face in town again, and now no one even blinks. At a certain point, we all realize how little that stuff matters once real adulthood sets in, as long as you’ve changed. The past only defines you if you let it, or if someone else needs it to in order to feel better about themselves.

[Leon1]

To answer your question You have a right to your choices but you don't have a right to others (males) choices. The past can be like a portfolio or a criminal record the past matters greatly, you can’t force others to be with someone they don’t adhere. So if men value you’re past it’s positive because maybe you have many great deeds.

[Leon1]

But if you’re deeds are filled with failed partnerships and kids from an ex husband he’ll need to shoulder, etc etc on and on then he has a right to evaluate the past.

[AndrésC64]

They need to get off of their judgmental high horses relieve and realize that everyone has a past.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Never.

[MzAsh]

Life has a way of humbling these people when they judge.

[ILoveRocks]

Obsessing is bad but worrying about it is natural and women do it too, neither side is wrong for that. If you found out the man you're dating beat his ex girlfriend but he is a changed man now you could still love him, but in the back of your mind dont lie youd still think about it.

[MzAsh]

Well there’s a difference between consensual actions and violent crimes. It’s interesting how often these things are compared.

[ILoveRocks]

I hope you realize I'm talking about them as red flags not as a moral equivalent. The point is that people's past either matters or doesn't matter, you can't pick and choose. If you want me to give you another example I can, but im just telling you right now that the way men feel about women with a promiscuous past is the same way women feel about a man with a past of being abusive, both are repulsive to the opposite sex.

[MzAsh]

You’re assuming men universally feel that way, but that’s just not true. “Promiscuous” is subjective, some guys think it’s anyone who had sex before marriage, others don’t care unless it’s dozens. There’s no agreed upon standard, which tells me it’s not actually about morality.

I’ve known plenty of women with “pasts” who are now happily married, myself included. So instead of asking women to justify themselves, my original question still stands: what do men need to heal or unlearn that makes them view consensual adult experiences as red flags? Especially when those same men rarely hold themselves to the same scrutiny.

[Wiredone]

The past is behind both of us. I only focus on the present and the future. You have no control over the past but you definitely have control of the current situation and the future

[WhitneySnow]

Adolescent conditioning that teaches them that her past is the most important thing about her

[ProbablyClueless]

Men wouldn't worry about it if they hadn't seen it be a problem.

Most men will probably need to have experiences with women who don't let their past destroy their current relationships before they stop obsessing over women's pasts.

[MzAsh]

If a man’s standard requires women to constantly prove they’re not like the last girl who hurt him, is it really a standard, or just unhealed baggage in disguise?

[ProbablyClueless]

I think you’re totally right about that!

[Nikki1989]

Some men will always be that insecure and immature.

[Whitewulf]

Yep so stop sleeping with every guy you meet. This is why body count matter. It’s different for men than women, just like the previous person mentioned it is not, and never will be the same. Every girl that we’ve ever had sex with we have worked and put into work for you guys. You just say yes that’s all you have to to do so that number matters a lot of y’all had more pricks in you than a porcupine

[gstephens91]

Focusing on the relationship in front of them is the most important, I 100% agree. Past can also be important depending upon what it is. Is the woman a serial cheater? High body count? Felonies? Etc. These trends can indicate different things that go just beyond surface-level pesonality.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Not going to happen, why? Past behavior gives clear indication of how she will or might act as a partner.

[MzAsh]

Interesting. So do you believe that logic should apply across the board? Like… should women assume your future loyalty and emotional maturity based on the last girl you ghosted, cheated on, or breadcrumbed?

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Absolutely, if the guy has an unsavory history of bad behavior then he falls into the same category.

I have posted before I have zero tolerance for infidelity and have never participated in it. I am very upfront if I'm dating or sleeping with multiple people to give her the option to walk away if it's what she wants.

Keep in mind I am not looking for any type of long term relationship or commitment and completely against marriage and make it known from the jump.

[Vegasrunner]

Proably that women are special. once they understand that women are simply a numbers game they will be better off. Men who place women on a pedestal tend to be the ones that obsesse over a woman's past because they can't easily replace her.

[MzAsh]

Men who call women a numbers game are always the ones who look the most pressed when they don’t get picked. It’s a cope with the fact that pedestalizing didn’t work for them, and neither does detachment.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh The logic doesn't track. If you understand that there are always hotter, younger, more beautiful women available, why would you be seeking to be picked? Pedestalizing a woman isn't ever going to work, women encourage it because it has a benifit to them, however for men it only waste time and resources that could be used to attract exponentially more women.

[RavVid]

What you do is your business. What we think of it is our business.

[MzAsh]

Fair. Just like what a woman thinks of your attitude toward her past… is her business.

[RavVid]

The inverse always applies.

For myself I like being judged and don't fear it (like some appear to do). It makes me better.

[Joshydavid25]

I don't think most are really all that obsessed over a woman's past as long as it doesn't affect the present.. I decided to disregard my exes past and it came to bite me not long afterwards..

[DonaldDarko]

That's easy , for her to have a past as a decent woman. Problem solved.

[MzAsh]

Define decent.

[DonaldDarko]

What you can't define decent? Are you bull shitting me?

[MzAsh]

I can, but I’m curious as to how you’d define it.

[DonaldDarko]

The same as anyone. To be fair minded, to have self discipline, to know when something is disgusting and wrong and to act accordingly, to have self respect. I could to on but those are some basics.

[MzAsh]

See, that’s the thing, what you call “decent”is subjective. Plenty of people would define it differently than you just did. So when men say they want a decent woman, but can’t clarify without inserting their personal hang ups and moral biases, it just reveals how fluid and self serving that standard really is. And that’s exactly the point I was making.

[DonaldDarko]

No, that's nihilism. Moral sense is an evolved trait that happened over millions of years.

[andreasderjuengere]

What would be needed for the guys you describe:

to grow up and to learn what a man is like? :D

[andreasderjuengere]

Mind you... I don't mean the ''real man'' stereotype :)

[loveslongnails]

That depends on what her past behaviors were. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, so we're talking about degrees of severity, in my opinion.

[jahaims]

Your past is the history of your actions, character, morals and values. It should be judged.

[MzAsh]

Cool. Just make sure you’re ready for women to judge your dating choices, your behavior under pressure, your emotional maturity, your porn history, and your attitude.

[MannMitAntworten]

Either he will be okay with whatever ‘her’ past is or he won’t. Nothing will change that as it will remain in his head.

[In_Trance]

If her past involves her fucking dozens of guys, most guys will not let this slide

[MzAsh]

Wild how so many men claim they’d never settle for a woman with a past… yet statistically, that’s exactly who they end up with.

[In_Trance]

Statistically, the higher the body count, the less likely a woman is to ever get married

[MzAsh]

That statistic is pulled from cherry picked studies with weak methodology, ignores all the variables that actually impact marriage, and says more about male fear of female autonomy than it does about relationship outcomes. Plenty of women with “high” body counts get married, and plenty with low ones end up divorced.

[In_Trance]

Call it whatever you want

Body count matters to guys

[MzAsh]

Sure, body count matters to some guys. They’re allowed to care. But here’s the part no one says out loud… most of the guys who scream the loudest about it don’t actually have the options to uphold that standard. They still end up with women who’ve had lives, experiences, and yes, past partners. Because the dating pool isn’t exactly flooded with untouched, eager, submissive women lining up to compete for them.

What’s wild is the belief that shaming women for their past will somehow raise their own value. It won’t. It just makes them look bitter, out of touch, and deeply insecure about what they actually bring to the table.

[Grond21]

That depends on what kind of obsession is happening and what her past was. There's no universal answer.

[Fireguy17]

they simply are not ready yet for another relationship., plain and simple

[SotiCoto]

For womens' past to stop having any consequences for their future.

[Pohjolan]

Not sure what OP is trying to ask here?

Has she cheated on him or did he discover that he is dating a ex-slut?

[Leon1]

No No No she built the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and he is insecure of the greatness. Oh wait no was he insecure about that discount she got at the store.. hmm no.. doesn’t seem so insecure.. maybe the free trip to Disneyland?

[seeyounexttuesday]

lol. Gotta love you making your behavior a man's problem.

[MzAsh]

What is it about a woman’s autonomy over her past trigger you enough to call it a man’s problem?

[seeyounexttuesday]

I don’t want to date a trashy hoe. That’s your problem, not mine.

[MzAsh]

Imagine making it to your 60s and still thinking “trashy hoe” is a mic drop. At your age, wisdom should’ve caught up, and you should have been able to nail down a solid relationship by now.

[seeyounexttuesday]

You mean like the multiple decades with my wife and my two beautiful daughters who aren’t hoes?

[MzAsh]

So you’re a husband and father, and still chose to speak about women like that online? Yikes.

[seeyounexttuesday]

I’m speaking about hoe behavior.

[Ariesman81]

Amnesia. Or a woman without a checkered past.

[bowenw]

Deal with their insecurities.

[Godihateyou]

They would. need to heal from having standards.

[MzAsh]

There’s a difference between standards and projections.

[Godihateyou]

You fucked a lot of blacks and nobody wants you. I get it. It's too late for you

[MzAsh]

I’ve been married for 18 years boo-boo try again

[Godihateyou]

You've been married to a weak man and that's why you are miserable. He is too. Enjoy. You've earned ot

[MzAsh]

Ah, there it is, the frothing of a man who’s never been wanted by the kind of woman he spends his life trying to tear down. Stay mad, boo.

[Godihateyou]

Im wealthy, have a vast social circle that reaches almost every American state and a dozen countries. Been married for 19.7 years to my High school sweet heart and have three beautiful, strait A student (2 one isn't in kindergarten garden until next year) talented (1 in the arts and 1 in dance and sports) daughters. Nothing to be mad about. You seem but blasted that I think you suck though.

[MzAsh]

Married almost 20 years and still this pressed about women online? Oy.

[Godihateyou]

Pressed. Your a three second notification on a shit app i use to blow off steam. Sorry this is so important to you and I'm sorry you are poor and miserable

[MzAsh]

Weird flex for someone who supposedly has it all, but sure kid, keep telling yourself I’m the miserable one while you spiral in my replies.

[Godihateyou]

Kid. Dismissive of a wiser and older person. A sure sign of an imbecile. I could care less about your replies. Your an app junkie.

[OddBeMe]

Therapy.

[MasterKS]

He have to be bold.