Why can't men and women find equilibrium?

[SamWinchester058]

Why can't men and women find equilibrium between women's need for emotional validation and men's need for sex? This isn't always the case but it is often a norm.

Updates

1 y

This is meant to be more from a societal standpoint. The men vs women story is strong in media today. You see it everywhere you look. I'm glad most of you don't deal with this issue or know people who do. I'm on the otherside of it. I see media that talks about this all day everyday and I personally know people.

[Anonymous]

This Is a great question! And it hits at the heart of of male-female interaction.

We are in a time of a social shift. The past couple generations are very different from their predecessors and how they view the world. Women are becoming more educated and claiming more space in the workforce. Logic dictates that this means there's going to be less opportunity for men. Because now those women are competing for the SAME amount of resources.

Now the PROBLEM with this. Is women were raised with the SAME expectations of men. If a man made 50k in the past. And the woman made 0k. Her expectations on him was realistic. But now today a woman makes 50k and she expects him to still carry her. She expects him to make 100k. Less than 1 in 5 men are even capable of achieving that. To make matters worse, women socially were expected to be meek and mild. Today's women are still fed a diet of they are an oppressed minority. Which means they view men as an enemy of sorts to be conquered. I'll while ONLY being attracted to one capable of leading her. It doesn't takes a genius to understand these two expectations are at complete odds with eachother.

My personal opinion is this ship will eventually right itself. Women will eventually understand that equality does not mean selective equality. And women will eventually realize they've chosen a man's role. And that's fine. But someone is going to play the woman's role. And if it's not her it's going to be the man.😆 And if she's not OK with that then she's going to have to choose. 1. Either play the role of a woman and let a man be a man. Or 2. stay playing the role of a man and probably be single and unhappy.

The important fact to remember here is you cannot tell women this. They have to figure this out on thier own. They've thought for years all they needed was the power of a man and they can have it all. But now they're getting the harsh reality that being a man means WORK and a lot of disappointment.

Like I said, this ship will eventually right itself. But I think the next couple generations need to get with the reality. That for those generations that relationships are going to be f***ed.

[SamWinchester058]

Great points.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I think what you’re specifically referencing is the difference in women and men’s psychology in terms of the allowance of vulnerability as a direct result of being socialized as a female/male. It sounds like you’re talking about how in order for women to feel comfortable having sex with a man, they require an emotional connection first. To women, this is a means of protection as they are allowing a very real physical vulnerability of their body, which they know is their most prized aspect as a woman and are repeatedly told the importance of protecting it over and over (from men specifically) and having that connection is a form of security for that vulnerability. And meanwhile with men, in order for them to feel comfortable making an emotional connection they first require a sexual connection. To men, they know their emotional selves, their conscious selves, is the most vulnerable part of their mind because of how they have been told over and over what emotions a man is “allowed” to have and are consistently making a masculine persona to protect these hidden emotions that they still feel despite not putting them on display for fear of persecution or some other kind of social loss. The power of sex with women in this case is the fact that since women are viewed as such “emotional” beings, that vulnerability is allowed but to do it without the guarantee of protection in the form of a connection via sex is an extremely risky thing in their social lives and so there are men who will say all manner of things in order to falsify an emotional connection to make the sexual connection. And when this is done through deception and later revealed to be so, obviously women take that as a betrayal of trust, and when she eventually leaves upon realizing that the foundation of their connection cannot be trusted the men take that as a betrayal of trust. In both cases, they both did everything “right” as told by their social conditionings.


And honestly? Men build their lives around sex so this is probably as far as our conversation will go.

[SamWinchester058]

And would it be fair to say women build their lives around emotions?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Women build their lives around connections, which involve emotions. What you said is half-finished.

[SamWinchester058]

Well spoken. Thank you for your paragraph.

[serious]

This is a very good question. I think it is just how men and women function naturally so I thinking a balance and equilibrium is almost impossible.

Yes there may be exceptions to this. A handful of men and women may find the perfect equilibrium but it certainly cannot happen for the majority of both the genders because if it did then the world would have been an entirely different place to live in.

[BriGinny]

Because a man doesn’t understand we need both and more 🥹

[SamWinchester058]

Thank you

[SotiCoto]

Populations are at a record high. People living their lives alone are also at a record high. Expectations set by previous generations have been betrayed and there are a lot of bitter young people out there all too eager to blame all their problems on the opposite gender.
And of course the media just milks it all for cash while poking both sides to rile them up.

[BCRanger10]

I just finished watching the movie Equilibrium XD

Honestly? I partly think it's a smokescreen for something much more sinister going on.

[DishLady]

They CAN, they're just both too stubborn to actually do it. Only the rare enlightened guy/gal manages to do it.

[jahaims]

They do. It's called a mature couple. Most people are too immature for a healthy relationship

[drummerdude25]

Everyone is afraid of being who they have to be… If you boil it all down, that’s what it is.

[Nikki1989]

It must be a YOU problem because no one I know has those issues.

[NathanDavis]

must be you... because I never had an issue with none of this...

[Shy_Steve]

Because most Women want more than being equal to Men.

[RavVid]

It used to exist and was called marriage once upon a time in the distant past.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you refuse to adapt. Perhaps you've been dating all the wrong people? Forcing fit never works. Adjust your own standards.

[Anonymous]

As a woman , I need validation and sex

[SamWinchester058]

Thank you for sharing.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome