Why don’t men ever say how they truly feel about someone?

Question

Why do they give hints and show signs they care about you, but never tell you how they feel.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Not "never" -- sometimes it's just us... we don't know what signs the guy is putting out there to indicate his interest, OR we're too busy being "high value" that we miss the signs he's clearly throwing out there. (Women do the same thing to guys as well, so don't try to use my response to justify some warped "we do it better" argument. We all suck equally when it comes to reading signs.)

A guy will tell you if he feels strongly enough about you. If he doesn't, he'll just say things that "sound as if he might possibly be" interested. (See how diluted that sounds? He's leaving himself a nice little escape hatch to craw out of in case he suddenly changes his mind.)

SunnyCaliGirl · Accepted Answer

I highly highly suggest researches men and laws of attraction can affect them. I promise it would answer so many questions. I highly recommend looking up BennyHeart on Tictok if you have it, he’s a great research resource for getting answers to how attraction works and dating

Lottydotty · Accepted Answer

I struggle to fit much more things to care about. I feel null and dull from it most of the time. I dont see much point to talking about it. I'm not the best consultant on most dramas yet they be dropping it all on me and I'm like why? So in a sense I dont feel a need to express my own thoughts as I wouldn't care to hear it myself at times but I can always act the part. And there's times I do feel it all but to me that wouldn't be enough for most women. Some deserve a better attentive man. Thus typically I divert talks to being friends

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Hmm... I'm the opposite. I've never had any issues speaking my mind whether it's saying I like someone or love them when in a relationship with them.

However, I haven't approached any girls recently because I don't go out to socialize often and I think society has shifted in a way that girls are much less approachable and hateful towards men than they used to be even just 10 years ago

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Because in this time & age we are "seen" as Simps! 🤷‍♂️

Anonymous · Answer

It makes me cringe when I imagine telling any female in my life anything positive about my feelings towards them since I know most of them get some kind of ego boost from it which is detestable to me. Girls that think they're special These females also tried to gaslight me into doing things for them, saying things like "if you don't get this specific, nonessential food item, then I'll starve. Do you want me to starve?" (I couldn't care less if she starved since there was food in the house and that would be on her). Therefore, giving women the impression that they have any sort of leverage is not an option for me - and if I do, I will make sure I put them back in their original state where they understood where they stood.

Confessing love and stuff is also VERY corny and I do not want to be a character that contributes to that corny nonsense. This doesn't mean that I dislike those women or girls, but I will refrain from telling them directly because I don't see how it's necessary. Words are also meaningless if actions are contradicting them.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

A lot of us have honestly... We don't really hide it or beat around the bush when we like somebody.. But we have been discouraged a bit from that type of behavior, or we could seem like we're coming on too strong, so a lot have decided to wait it out til they feel that it is the right time.. And sometimes that could come off as seeming aloof..

OneViewpoint · Answer

@cora1 ,

Are you in the habit of walking up to random men you don't know and telling them how you feel about them? How about men you've met once or twice? Men in your friend group? Any of your female friends do that? Doubtful. It's the same with most men.

As for me personally, I simply don't like most people and do not want to engage with them. So when I do talk to them, I give them almost no information about me while I draw out information about them. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with new people. So I tend to put the brakes on abnormally enthusiastic new people I meet. I'll have to meet them repeatedly over time before I decide if they are someone I want to have around or someone I want gone. Lots of small interactions. Who are you? How do you behave in multiple situations? What do you say and what do you do? IQ? Sense of humor? Knowledge of the world around you? Empathy? Decision making? Consider it a long term interview.

Anonymous · Answer

Same reason women don’t say how they feel about someone. Same reason women give hints. Because they’re scared of rejection. Lack of co distance. Not sure if the person will reciprocate the same feelings back. Past history of being rejected. Scared to reveal their feelings cause it makes them vulnerable. Women say they’re better communicators than men but constantly throw out hints to men rather than just saying what’s on their mind. I don’t know too many men who act the way you say they do, most of the men I know just come out w it.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I don’t think they do that. At least a lot of them don’t. Though guys do hate talking about their feelings.

lorenzomichael · Answer

I don’t know about other men but I have no trouble at all telling a girl how I feel it sucks because if I’m with a certain person for a little while and they start catching feelings and I’m not they get upset that I don’t feel the same and it always ends bad. I just am not the one I’ve been married before you got two kids out of that relationship 25 year-old male 21 year-old female my daughter lives with me I own my own home several cars and I have a good job I’m not gonna live my life without a woman, but to be married to one again “I don’t think so.” I’m a handsome man with good values. I’m a catch I know I am, but I’ll never get caught again and besides, my daughter won’t approve of any woman for me to marry. It’s hard enough just having a woman in the house with me for a couple of days sometimes a week or so.

yesmylove · Answer

Actions speak louder than words. As long as he’s actively showing you he’s into you why u hesitant

Nikki1989 · Answer

Men are the kings of playing games, talking in riddles, or not saying anything at all. Even worse they NEVER take responsibility for their actions. Nothing is ever their fault.  Cue the anon comments that will prove my point once again. They are good at that.

Anonymous · Answer

Because he's not a fool. You always give a woman JUST ENOUGH. Then she still hungers for the guy. If you give her too much, then she takes him for granted and thinks she can control and manipulate him. She becomes drunk with power. All guys have learned this at some point, and then they never repeat the mistake of giving a woman too much after that.

I know you don't like hearing this. And if it makes you feel any better, most guys don't like being like this (some do, but those guys are a**holes). But life is not a rom com. Few relationships are fully loving and selfless. And if they begin that way, they seldom stay that way. Unfortunately this is reality, get used to it.

Asgard356 · Answer

Because a guy might have been hurt. It's scary to make yourself emotionally vulnerable. Telling someone you have deep feelings is exhilarating but but scary.

class_reductionist · Answer

all my expressions of interest have been unrequited, so I simply stopped trying

I don't flirt, and I don't treat women I'm interested in differently than I treat other friends. all of my relationships have been started by the women, not for lack of trying. and usually when I accept, they tell me they were surprised, because I didn't give any indication I was interested

I'd rather have a platonic friend and wait for my feelings to die over time than go out of my way and ruin a perfectly good friendship

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

As a young boy my mother started teaching  what i will call get along therapy. If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. The idea behind that thought was that as time progresses you may learn things about others that change your opinion. It saves you an apology. No one likes to swallow statements ejaculated in anger or ignorance, Like a first impression a malicious opinion is difficult to retract.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Because  people  are framed by one or more of these life scenario: no positive experience to rely on no emotional intelligence developed to rely on no sane culture to explore anything no parents being affectionate role models for them

Dongie · Answer

That cold sting of rejection. After you feel it a couple dozen times it doesn't get easier. It gets harder.

KishasDarling · Answer

I do, early and often. I've lost a lot of people in my life and make sure everyone knows how I feel about them. When I'm developing feelings, I take the rejection risk now rather than wait for it to hurt more when I'm more emotionally invested.

fonduegirl · Answer

If he likes you, he'll tell you.

You're only having these thoughts because,

1) he has friend zoned, family zoned or fuck buddy zoned you

2) he's super shy, which isn't that common so i wouldn't count on it

If this is really a romantic problem, you should tease him a little lol

Anonymous · Answer

Many guys are non verbal, they will often show you rather than say it. Boys/men are emotionally fragile, a rejection can hurt so you have to be the one to say how you feel first as men are very guarded and cautious about feelings.

My husband will show me rather than tell me he loves me, I swear he only expresses himself sometimes when we are making love.

Luopio27 · Answer

If few of your friends told you they all madturbsted while dreaming if you, they would be honist!
If they asked yiu for sex, they would be straight shooters, and honist!

This world, is not ready for that level of honesty! It would lead to panic, of both genders!

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Some men might do this while they try to figure out if the woman likes them because most women don't give them much to go on. It's fear of rejection and making you uncomfortable.

For the most part, men are pretty straight forward.

Anonymous · Answer

I tried it. It went worse than I could have ever possibly imagined.

dustybiker2 · Answer

They usually do. Why do some woman not pay attention?

RavVid · Answer

You'll think we are too easy and won't respect us.

AyChingao · Answer

I do and will always do. I won't be mean about it unless the person has asked to be treated that way with their behavior. That's come with time and experience though.

LiftingFencer · Answer

Fear, or they are in a complicated predicament (they have a girlfriend or wife) they don’t want to break hearts unless its a for sure thing first, meaning they are waiting for you to notice the hints and tell them.

The other reason would be they are normal guys, normal guys these days are afraid to flirt/be direct with a woman they like.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Because a lot of the time, we don't actually know how we feel about the woman. We haven't thought that far ahead. Also, many (maybe even most) women don't respond well to directness.

genericname85 · Answer

they ONLY say what they truly feel. women never get that and try to read shit into the things they say instead of taking exactly what they said and nothing else.

jahaims · Answer

They do. You are interacting with immature men which means that is what you attract.

Ironco · Answer

That was engrained in our brains from day one. Dad and others taught us to never show emotions. Keep that inside.

Show them how you feel but never show emotions. Old school I guess.

Kind of makes sense on how I am now...

236color · Answer

They do say it but you don't like the answer and try to twist something else out of it.

exitseven · Answer

It's a scary thing. What if she laughs at you. Or what if she tells everyone and e everyone laughs at you?

Yannae · Answer

I do, but if you don't know how I'm feeling, we're not that close or I may not even like you.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I generally don't operate on feelings. Feelings can be filthy little liars, leading people to make really bad decisions. I always filter through logic and reason.

Zylos · Answer

Because it never goes down well. Instant rejection.

JesseP1nk · Answer

Why why why. Because if someone said it and you did NOT expect it - you WILL be a babbling idiot. Because it got you offguard and they put you into spotlight to respond to him right a way.

Bloodparadise · Answer

Maybe they don't wanna get hurt so they hide their true feelings

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Fairly certain unless we are super rich of super attractive, having "feelings" for someone is illegal

oldpigg · Answer

That would affect my ego.

SotiCoto · Answer

... You literally just described women. Not men.

dragoblack · Answer

Because we have be taught from experience, that it doesn't end well and always has negative reactions.

Tomcoool · Answer

There can be various reasons. Some may think its cool? But I believe the main reason is that a lot of us think they will be vulnerable if they show their real emotions?

Anonymous · Answer

because words are meaningless compared to actions

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Because when we do, it isn't well accepted. Apparently y'all can't handle the truth!

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

Because men are silenced and banned from platforms when they do a prime example.

Abdulw · Answer

This method doesn't always work in most cases unless the girl feels attraction too

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

We do, but when we do, we get shit on for it

noohair · Answer

Men have egos as fragile as an egg. Once broken, it does not fix well.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

We lads are socialized to bury our feelings, which is why our suicide rate is so high.

warlock83 · Answer

Because throughout life, we were told to keep it in or suck it up.

Anonymous · Answer

In my experience, because girls get mad when I tell them that I like them.

NervousIndividual · Answer

Do men do this? I would be vulnerable at some point.

MasterKS · Answer

I am always expressive, i dont what kind of men are they.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would we? All women do is twist and distort what we say anyway.

Malemajor · Answer

Because they don't know themselves!

HelenaHandbasket · Answer

In my experience they do.

nawtee_me · Answer

Actions are worth a thousand words maybe?

grega239 · Answer

I did both and got the same result

MOUTHWASHING · Answer

we do talk honestly

mysteriousN · Answer

I guess they like a little mystery 🧐😂

qwerty2469 · Answer

Because nobody cares about men or their feelings

Why don’t men ever say how they truly feel about someone?

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