Do you think men and women can be just friends without catching feelings?

[Tracy2025]

[D_Bone_Steak]

It is possible, but highly unlikely. Platonic friends share common interests and that drives the friendship.

So, when I see the claim of "just a friend" and I don't see a common interest at all... that's not a friendship. 9 times out of 10, I see an exchange going on that is driven by "hers" desire for attention and a "his" desire for an eventual shot at sex. I'm sorry, but her using him as an emotional tampon is not a shared common interest and him putting up with it just for a shot at getting that clam is not really a shared common interest. In fact, that's the same damn exchange that happens in a normal male-female connection with the exception of it getting sexual or very intimate... so far. Arguably, if they have partners of their own, that's already called emotional cheating and consequently often leads to regular old cheating as it's defined by any normie.

So, what if they do hold a shared common interest? What is it? Usually, our genders don't hold the same interests to a high degree that would make it more than a casual friendship. Plus it will start to twist the sexuality or at least make me question them... I mean how many regular men enjoy shopping, gossip, makeup, and coffee time at Starbucks while getting their laundry done? I know of men that do that and they're gay. ... or let me use my interests for example... how many girls do you know that plays guitar, lifts weights and collects guns with an interest in logical arguments and a sick humor that's expressed by trolling celebrities on the internet? Yeah, I'm sure there's a girl out there like me, but be honest about how likely we'd ever meet or decide not to fuck. We'd basically have to fuck with that much in common... and that's not a platonic friendship is it?

TL;DR It's possible, but highly and extremely unlikely. It's either not really a friendship or it's going to be more than friends on a long enough timeline...99.99% of the time. There's just not enough substance between our genders to glue us together without the exchange of attention and/or sex.

[BazookaTrouper]

I guess it depends on the history between the two individuals. I can't speak for how anyone else feels, so I'll just use how I think as an example.

There are plenty of women (girls in the case of when I was a child) who I was never physically attracted to, so I pretty much acted around them the way I would act around other guys. (IRL I have a generally reserved personality, so it's not a problem) I had 1 or 2 female friends during my early childhood I hung out with, and it was platonic and cool. As an adult, I have far fewer acquaintances in general. But not every woman I'm on good terms with I'm infatuated with, so it's not difficult.

I think it's different when it's women I have a crush on, because the physical attraction takes most of my attention. It's probably possible, but more difficult.

And one thing I've noticed is that it's rare for two people to break up amicably and not have some personal dislike for each other to the point they want nothing to do with each other. Usually when that does happen, it's a breakup due to the other person moving away and the other person not following suit.

[Anonymous]

Might not be mutual. I've had male friends and most of them caught feelings for me. My husband and I started out friendly and as friends but he never really saw me the way I saw him because I was much younger and im very short though I was smitten the first day we met and shook hands in the parish hall, honestly I just got super wet. Like id never even had any sexual feelings before, yet that night it was wet dreams. Anyway that went on for a few years and I used to cry at night if saw him dating a new girl.

That changed one day at the swimming pool in the health suite. I had my towel wrapped around me and was wearing my swimsuit. I was get ready to get into the sauna and we started talking. I disrobed and followed him in and we were still chatting standing up and I could see his eyes drawn down because he's so tall checking me out so I looked down and he had an erection and i drew his attention to it with a big smirk on my face. Before we could kiss people were coming in so we both sat down away from each other. Somewhere a long the way he left before we could speak again. I didn't see him until the next week after church and he apologised saying g he didn't know what happened, I told him I knew exactly what happened and that he should take me on a date sometime. He did and a year later we were married.

[Apple1996]

Yes ofc! The concept of men and women not being able to be friends is such a weird thing to me being bisexual like should I just never be able to have friends because I might catch feelings for them since im attracted to both genders? Like im not attracted to every person on earth. Just like a straight woman is not attracted to/or has feelings for every man. And a straight man is not attracted to every woman. We can have friendships without them turning sexual/romantic.

[spartan55]

But what if you ARE attracted to them?

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 its possible to think someone is attractive and not want to fuck them

[spartan55]

Riiiiight

[Pumpkinpie222]

@spartan55 hahahaha attractive=fuckable, let’s be honest.

[lightbulb27]

yes, but as well, feelings can go off on one side or the other and relationship have to be managed for what is appropriate.

if these were the only two humans left, on a desert island... whats going to happen?

exactly...

[Effably]

Operative word being can? Absolutely, yes!

Statistically speaking, although this is 15 years old and I have never rechecked this factoid, 50% of everyone in a boy/girl (or same sex constellation if people lean that way) relation lasting more six months or more end up having feelings of attraction or romance towards the other one.

That very simply put means that in a boy/girl setup where both are straight there is a: 75% chance someone likes someone. A 50% chance either specific person does, 25% chance no one does and a 25% chance both do.

So can men and women just be friends? Absolutely. However if you wanted to make money, betting that someone in a man/woman friendship has had or have feelings for the other one is a bet likely to make you money.

[MrOracle]

It's the rare exception. People are rarely friends with people whose personality they don't find attractive, and that tends to make looks less important, meaning that it's more likely for at least one of the two to find the other physically attractive. And once one person feels romantically or sexually attracted to the other, it's no longer a platonic relationship. Even if something "more" is never explicitly attempted, the feelings still inform and impact the relationship.

Maybe 5% of the time it can work, but those are pretty terrible odds.

[Pumpkinpie222]

I think subconsciously we become friends with the opposite sex based on initial physical attraction. From there feelings could develop or they could remain platonic but ultimately I think we always want a little piece of them beyond friendship. Just saying.

[MasterKS]

@pumpkinpie222 like your POV!

[class_reductionist]

my best friend for about a decade was a woman. we talked each other through a lot of things, including navigating difficult relationships. I finally got around to visiting her IRL for a couple weeks. surprisingly it was her that caught feelings. I mulled it over for a bit and let it go into a relationship. it worked pretty well for the most part, until we split over a strong disagreement on recent international politics

tl;dr I do think it's possible, and if it transitions into a relationship it can be one of the best relationships unless something extreme happens

[ArrowheadSW]

I have several woman friends that I've had for years. I really don't think I will ever catch feelings for most of them. There are a couple of them who I imagine it could happen. With most of them, "friends" is just the nature of the relationship.

[BadApple69]

Hell no! Lol
Friends will end up in bed some night after the two of you are out drinking… if you like each other enough to hang out, you like each other enough to screw each others brains out (after drinking which is just an excuse).
Seen it many times.

[ryanrhino]

In youth, it is quite easy for a true friendship, but as soon as each of them have their own partners, it gets more complicated. For me, I have had both situations of not and have catching feelings, but it's delicate. As long as you have clear boundaries, yes, friendship can remain paramount.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In practice, totally able.

It entirely depends on their profile and tastes, my bestie is my bestie since 30 years, she's a girl. She's pretty, objectively. But personality wise she's really really not my type lol, and I'm not her type neither. I'm not an exception, in my surroundings, I've seen plenty of other cases.

[Jupiter1]

After a very long friendship went sour because of a sudden crush reveal by a longtime friend I wasn’t attracted to, I made it a strict policy never again to make a friend a girlfriend. And, I usually make that clear whenever I “lay my cards down on the table” because that’s how I am. It’s not my fault if they catch feelings for me. And, yes, some have. Still, I won’t budge.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

There's a reason why "You're not my type" exist. And a reason why relationship fail because it's just not working. Those who disagrees cannot even answer away that happens. They just want to think they're right and call anyone gays/lesbians for being friends with the opposite sex. If that is really the case then anyone who is bi can't have friends.

[RedInnocent69]

Not acting on feelings is a lot different than catching feelings. I’ve had feelings for most of my female friends at some time or another. I mean, you wouldn’t be friends if there wasn’t something you liked about or had in common with them. If they’re attractive, you can’t overcome, only control biology

[kaleshigirl]

Yes if they are both in relationships with others and loyal too. If they are single then I have noticed at least one of them has some feelings at some point.

[TrimmedTip]

Totally! Men and women can be just friends—no heart emojis needed. Of course, sometimes feelings sneak in like uninvited guests, but most of the time it’s just good laughs and zero drama. Friendship goals, right?

[Tarifa]

Very hard. In a mutual zero attraction scenario, yes. As soon as one of the two is attracted to the other, it is, as they say, easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. I've been in both scenarios multiple times.

[Nikki1989]

This comes up on here all the damn time, and the answer is of course they can. All my friends have always been mostly male and nobody is catching feelings apart from the normal feelings friends have for each other.

[YamoriVu]

It is possible, but very rare. And I myself was not an exception, because I was in love with my girlfriend when we were just friends. I understand perfectly well how most guys think, so I have an extremely negative attitude towards guys who try to be friends with my girlfriend.

[ProbablyClueless]

Of course they can. The personalities need to mix the right way though.

The reality is that most men and most women absolutely cannot handle platonic friendships with most members of the opposite sex.

[OneViewpoint]

Possible? Yes. Common? No. Chances are one or both will need to satisfy their curiosity. If they are rejected... end of friendship. If they hook up... end of friendship.

[RavVid]

Yes so long as they don't fancy each at the same time cause sex ensues in that case. One can fancy the other at different times and it still remains friends.

[avery58]

Most of them, no tbh. At least one would feel some type of way. Which is why a guy having many female friends would be a red flag for me.

[FreyaRed]

I could easily but problematic are guys who pretend to by my friends then complain I'm a heartbreaker.

[juleyboo74]

Men - yes, but the problem is they are not actually interested in being friends, they always want to have sex with you.

[snowboarder720]

Yes, one of my best friends is lesbian. We’ve each other since high school and never caught feelings for each other.

[tzdc21]

Most if the time, I'm leaning towards no. Most of the time. Unless you're family or you actually don't have feelings for thus other person ever, and the latter is very rare.

[Berethor]

If they don't find each other attractive sure, it hard for a man and woman to be just friends.

[samael_kmarty]

Depends on the time spent together on a daily basis, depends on the interaction range, topics they talk on.
And how beautiful you are in range with how much expections there are.
Guys fall in love very easily. Girls never 😝

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I don't think men can, but women most definitely can. They don't call it a friend zone for nothing.

[leahzrc]

I thought I was friends with men and still think I am but I do believe they all were probably just long conning me trying to sleep with me.

[CorneliaUSA]

Go listen to Matt Rife's discussion regarding men and women being friends. At first I didn't like his opinion, but, by the end he nailed it.

[AviatorTom]

Yes, they can be friends, and want nothing more, but they will often wonder what the other person is like in bed.

[jazzy34]

I haven't so far, lol. Actually, the opposite has happened for me: I'll catch feelings, but THEN, I'm able to be friends with the guy.

[douride2]

I have been friends with a guy since back in grade school. If he has ever had feelings for me he has kept them to himself. We have never been more then just friends.

[Anonymous]

I think it's possible if both people have an unattractive body in the other's eyes. Otherwise, I think it's unlikely.

For example, if the girl likes tall men and the guy is short and the guy likes thin women and the girl is fat.

[Finchie40]

Yes if there is no attraction between them whatsoever

[OlderAndWiser]

Some men and some women are capable of being in purely platonic relationships.

[Shiprex]

It's difficult as there's potential for romantic interest to sprout and or others to dislike that kind of relationship if they get attached.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Generally, no. Can it happen? yes but it's very rare.

[Malemajor]

No true straight male can just be friends with any girl. I will let girls answer for themselves

[DishLady]

On my side yes, all the time. On the guys’s side I don't know.

[spartan55]

You know...🙄

[DishLady]

Nah. Some guys hide it REALLY well apparently.

[spartan55]

All you have to ask is: "how about some Netflix and chill?" It's a cheat code to your guy friend's true intentions.

[Anonymous]

You are going to have feelings for people you care enough about to keep in your life. Some people you just need the emotional comfort natch but might bot by physically attracted to someone

[JohnnyB123321]

Absolutely. I have 2 very good female friends that are just friends and that’s it. I have way more female friends, the the two i mentioned are certainly in my top 5 best friends.

[Sudheerk]

Yes, I have many friends, I have attached toward some of my friends but i didn't fall in love with everybody, for many years, we are friends, and we didn't feel to fall in love to remain friends.

[saradancinglol]

Feelings always come and go no matter if it's friends or romance. I will say this, if a girl can't have any guys as friends without fighting them off she will begin hating guys. If you can't be a friend, you might be a broken person.

[beenherebefore]

As long as they’re not attracted to each other that’s s possible.

[WhitneySnow]

They can but a lot of times one person catches feels and not the other

[Zylos]

Yes, if one is lesbian and the other is gay.

[MysticDevice]

Yes, absolutely. I've had several girl friends throughout the yeas and the majority stayed entirely platonic.

[Asgard356]

I can't. Sooner or later I want to have sex and if we don't I think of her naked and jerk off to her with the thought of her with no clothes on.

[aquamarine321]

I don’t believe it’s possible, because we’re humans who are naturally attracted to the opposite sex, that’s how we were created

[KishasDarling]

Yes I know they can. Me on the other hand? I've accepted I cannot lol

[genericname85]

sure. it happens all the time especially when there's no physical attraction involved.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I'm friends with all the women I know without catching feelings. It's very easy so long as both geners respect the nature of the relationship.

[WonderingManII]

Yes if they don't find one another attractive.

[InsecureLivesMatter]

Anyone who says no has clearly never seen the relationship between Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens.

[MOUTHWASHING]

Yes. Try meeting people that are not in your taste. You can ofc be friends, not everything must be sexual or relationship material

[Vegasrunner]

Women can just be friends with men but men can't just be friends with women.

[HeartShapedHaze]

Possibly but probably not the case in most scenarios

[lorenzomichael]

Fuck no that will not work unless her male friend I gay.

[Sal_Monella]

As professional colleagues, yes. Otherwise, why bother?

[Nikki1989]

I bet you are fun at parties. Jeez!

[Sal_Monella]

@Nikki1989 A laugh a minute.