Women, what do you think of a man in his mid 20's-50's & beyond who can't cook, an adult man who is completely dependent on someone else to feed him?

[OneViewpoint]

I've actually seen and heard about a lot of this in the 10 years I've been divorced. And it's not just "old school" mentality like I thought it would be. Younger and older guys seem to do this.

In one example, a guy in his 50's would shame his wife for wanting to go out for drinks with her coworkers. His edict was "I don't eat leftovers". His begging was, "who's gonna feed me"? His reality (I think) was that he was trying to control his wife. Ya can't pick up a pizza or Chinese takeout? Ya got no friends of your own to hang out with? Ya can't cook an egg or make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

In another example, a younger guy was complaining about his weight and the fact that he is living off Door Dash. His food costs were killing his bank account. His excuse, "I can't cook". Can't or won't?

I learned to cook as a teenage latchkey kid. It's truly not that hard to do the basics. As time went by I got better and better. I can actually cook full meals without breaking a sweat. And I do. All the time. I can control what I eat and prepare it to my taste and fitness concerns.

For me, any adult male who isn't severely handicapped and can't feed himself is just pathetic. A grown child too lazy to learn simple skills or clean up after himself. A guy not worthy of respect. But absolutely worthy of being humiliated about his willful dependency and laziness.

I'm just curious, is it as common as it seems?

• Is it a control thing?
• Is it laziness?
• Is it fear of failure / the unknown?
• Is it truly being so stupid he can't feed himself?
• Is it feeling that "cooking is a woman's job and beneath a man?
• Is it avoidance of the responsibility of planning and preparing a meal?

Just seems bizarre to me.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Men are taught to expect service from women in relationships, and subsequently women are taught to put others’ needs before their own. The men who do this are just following in the footsteps of those who came before them, but the difference is grandma wasn’t able to divorce grandpa without being financially destitute and a social pariah. Not so much for the women of today, who now seek partners that enhance and better their lives rather than just being a convenient sperm donation that can talk half-decent.

[MannMitAntworten]

We are? Clearly my parents left this out of my upbringing. My expectations from woman are zero. Especially where domestic necessity is concerned. I mean, so far not a single ex of mine ever cooked or cleaned or mowed or even changed the filter on the HVAC system. Relations for me have largely been how I imagine it is to be raising children … all on me. Hold on, my last girlfriend reheated leftovers in the microwave once. That was the most grand gesture ever by an ex.

I highly doubt men are raised to rely on women anymore than women are raised to rely on men. At least not since Baby Boomers started having daughters and sons.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

More men need to understand the concept of “If it doesn’t apply, let it fly” but instead your egos won’t let you believe I’m not describing you specifically

[MannMitAntworten]

It’s the broad strokes Cupcake. Your own sex hates and attacks when men say, “women…” Same goes for men being generalized and all lumped in. There is that and if we all just chose to remain silent on erroneous commentary it would then be assumed it must be true of ‘all’ men. Ego has nothing to do with it nor would I expect you to remain silent regardless of whether it applies to you or not. “If it doesn’t apply, let it fly.” Is a poor concept.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Dude, get a life

[Jennz6]

Probably he can but just won’t when he has a woman to cook for him and clean up after him

[Jennz6]

@OneViewpoint
Thank you for the MHO 💯💕

[msc545]

I cannot cook, and I depend on restaurants and delivery services for my food. So what?

[Phantomshadow77]

No woman is gonna want to be with someone who can’t take care of themselves. They’re not gonna want to be your parent that has to feed their baby because he can’t manage on his own.

[BonzoInBitburg]

Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone should learn.

[msc545]

Some of us, myself included, literally cannot learn what you refer to as a basic life skill.

[OneViewpoint]

@msc545 ,

You seem pretty intelligent. I don't believe you can't manage to fry an egg. Make a sandwich. Heat up some soup. Or cook a hamburger.

[msc545]

I will manage, based on history, to burn or otherwise destroy all of that.