Guys, Do you offer a girl an "out clause" to being with you? Why?

[DishLady]

A guy has been volunteering for me on a project for a few months now -- long story short, his original handler had to bail bc of an emergency, so now I'm babysitting him.

(The guy's funny and sweet in some instances, but a trial to work with.)

V. last minute he offers to back out when I call him on poor behavior and procrastination. I tell him no way he's making me find some new guy a few days before the deadline. He just needs to grow up a little (5-10%) and finish the job.

I tell him I know he doesn't like talking to me, but we're stuck now and we're almost done.

He doesn't answer, but suddenly he's getting tasks done. He then says he can find a new handler... if I'd like.

(For half a sec I actually get very excited. I answer that I'd love that! But then I remember... marketing went out, etc. I sigh, a little miffed.) I tell him it's late to swap people out now. I said I'm open to talking about it and seeing what he had in mind...

No answer from him...

I don't know if he's disappointed that I'd consider the swap out... but if I'm being honest I have a lot on my plate managing the whole project. I can't be holding this guy's hand every second and chasing him to stay on task... I felt bad. Perhaps I hurt his feelings. I don't know.

But I also wonder why he waited so long to give me a possible way out of working directly with each other if he was going to get upset that I was open to the suggestion. I don't get it.

Guys, do y'all offer a gal an out clause at all?

[spartan55]

He wasn't upset, why are you worried his feelings when he is an ass anyway?

[spartan55]

Then again I don't really understand all this as described.

[DishLady]

I’m basically asking if you feel the other person is pushing you away (or you’re trying to find an excuse to push them away), do YOU offer THEM an “out clause” … an option to find someone else to work with them so you don’t have to?

[DishLady]

I’ll dm you.

[exitseven]

They used to just make one up themselves.

[DishLady]

He saw me later in the day at my class… and asked so who’s handling the project (ie him and the project) and I said I am… and he said v simply… Then we’re good….

So simple and sweet…

[exitseven]

there ya go.

[DishLady]

Sigh. Let's see if he still feels the same way after a couple of weeks of raising hell...

[exitseven]

I just remember how it hurt to get dumped

[DishLady]

If I see things aren’t going right I tend to soldier through… but with this guy I felt he’d do better working with another bro. Guess not.

[Cidknee]

I came with one already tattooed across my forehead. 🫩🕺