Is he just here to have sex with me?

[Anonymous]

A guy I’ve been talking to for a month came over last time and after we cuddled he tried to have sex before my dad came home. I turned him down because my dad was coming home. He said he felt bad afterwards and felt like I wasn’t comfortable or attracted to him which led to him questioning the relationship.

Now he wants to come over again and cuddle and I said I would but he’ll get turned on and unintentionally pressure me into have sex if I don’t by feeling bad afterwards. He then:
1. Cancelled the date
2. Said that I must not be comfortable with cuddling
3. Said that I assume he’s my “fanboy” because I treat him like he has to earn his way to my attention
4. Not yet happened but assumingely will question the relationship and maybe even not continue the relationship anymore (he seems really pissed rn)

Do you guys think he actually feels bad or is he just trying to manipulate me into having sex?

[Mariogirl09]

Girl dont listen to @Alex-Snow

If you dont want to have sex yet DONT. And dont tease him because thats all he will and is thinking about. Dont ever invite a man to your house if you're not willing to have sex. This guy only wants to have sex and sounds like he's being manipulative about it too. Dump him

[Alex-Snow]

When he says he wants to cuddle he wants sex. Maybe have a convo with him about expectations and ur desire to take it slow. Have you fooled around with him at all?

[Asker]

Hmm like teased him? Yes, accidentally. I was the first to bring sex up and we sexted. A few days after he suggested coming over and we hung out at my place

[Alex-Snow]

Do you want to have sex with him? It is obvious that he does.

[Asker]

Not at the moment. I was told you shouldn’t sleep with a guy who hasn’t made you his girlfriend yet. Maybe that’s outdated?

[Alex-Snow]

He needs to respect your choice. It is not outdated since everyone has different values. Maybe start out with just taking it to a slightly higher level like getting naked, fingering, handjobs? But no sex yet would that work?

[Asker]

I would be down with that but he said no because apparently it wasn’t about the sex anyway and he wants someone that has “interest, initiate, and enthusiasm”

[Alex-Snow]

Good point. Maybe is is just not the right guy for you right now

[bowenw]

He's wanting sex and is hoping by cuddling that he can get you to go further.
In my experience, cuddling is not normally the planned activity for a date, which is another reason I think he has ulterior motives.

[genericname85]

he would "unintentionally pressure you into sex"? what? are you gaslighting yourself? how can someone pressure another person into sex "unintentionally"?

he may actually feel bad. and in case he does, you should draw a path for him that he can take to get what he wants instead of just turning him down over and over.

[genericname85]

cause if you have a desire for sex or intimacy, being turned down feels bad. so try working out a way where your boundaries can be respected while not giving him the experience of being turned down.

[Anonymous]

If you're not willing to have sex he should stop wasting his time with you and just dump your worthless ass.

[Asker]

I don’t have sex with anyone who can’t commit to me. I have standards.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then don't get bad when no guy wants to date your worthless ass. No man that's kit a complete loser wants a dumb bitch that's not willing to have sex.

[Pterodon]

Yes it’s all he wants

[In_Trance]

Yeah