My husband updated all his social media photos to just him and our daughter + he's meeting up with some woman. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

I posted already but I have more details as I continue to look. My husband has been talking to some woman he met from networking because she contacted him for advice. He suggested meeting her in person. I noticed because they were engaging on linkedin and she was so pretty I checked his messaged on his laptop when he wasn't looking. Anyway, today he changed all his social media pics to just him and our daughter. He removed me - it used to be a shot of the three of us... I asked him why he changed the photo and he said he just likes that pic of our daughter and him. Should I be worried or am I jumping too far. He told that woman he's looking forward to meeting her and suggested everything. She just emailed him about connecting lightly. Now he's changing photos and having coffee meet ups with beautiful women.

Updates

4 mo

He met up with her and they are continuing to speak. I am concerned.

[DishLady]

Are you seriously taking a pause to ask if your man’s “Single Dad” social media portfolio is OK?

Get all your shit consolidated and have a good lawyer handy, THEN talk to him about his social media.

WTH….

[Asker]

Well he only changed the main photo. He didn't delete anything else but his account is private do noone would see anything else. It's just that I connected him changing his main profile photo, to him suggesting lunch with this beautiful girl that messaged him. It bothers me that she didn't even ask him to meet, just to connect and he pushed meeting up then suddenly changed his photo on social media and i wasn't sure if I was being paranoid.

[Asker]

In my head he did that so if she looks him up, she sees that and thinks he has a child but doesn't assume he is married right away.

[DishLady]

He’s a total dbag. Cover your ass and protect your heart, Missy.

And to include the kid… how sweet. Shows he’s “a caring dad”. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Tag the pic and say “that’s such a nice pic of you honey! Can’t wait for you to get home. 😉” see if the bitch takes the hint.

[Asker]

lol good idea but in all fairness I dont think its her fault, from the message, she just messaged him more for work and he pushed the meeting. I don't think she knows he is married because he is hiding it. She becomes a bitch if she figures it out and is interested in whatever the hell he is up to.

[Asker]

Yea, that may be it, so he looks like he is a dad but not a husband. Maybe it isn't in my head. I think when we feel something is off we have to listen to it as women.

[DishLady]

Yes ma’am. That 6th sense is never wrong.

[Asker]

update - I asked him again why he changed the photos and he said I dont have him in his (I am alone) and that he doesn't see why he needs to have his social media controlled. That he isn't hiding our child so clearly he doesn't hide he has a family. I said people can only see he has a child not a wife and he said he doesn't need to advertise marriage if I am not and he didn't think about it. I didn't mention him going to coffee because then it means admitting I read his private emails. Question: He did tell her in one email "im going on family vacation" last month. Does that not tell her he's married or could she think thats anything?

[front2back]

I won't go immediately to the conclusion he is being a homewrecker, but the sudden change of all social media pics to remove you sounds as though he wants to make himself appear as a single dad, or at least one separated/going through divorce to convince a side b*tch to sleep with him or more likely casually date him.

I would keep a very, very close eye on his communications and try to see if you can archive some of them, maybe by taking photos with your phone. It might be worth investing in airtags or some other type of GPS tracker to put on his car. If he goes around to weird places like a hotel or someone's home, well then you know for sure and if it leads to divorce have a strong argument for him being at fault.

[Asker]

yea agree thanks. I guess maybe people can have just their kid as their photo on social media and still be married though right and its normal? I dont know

[front2back]

It can happen but I typically only see the parent/child combo being featured only on single parent social media, which in my age group you see a lot of.

[Asker]

Yea and I actually know a married couple where the man only features him and his son even though he is married, BUT knowing them very well - he is a D-bag that is cheating on his wife AND actively trying to leave her for another woman. (He is a friend of mine from when we were kids and we all try to ask him to stop being such a jerk). I don't know any happily married man that cuts his wife out of a profile photo.

[bowenw]

The situation has many red flags. Keep a close eye on him.

[Asker]

what red flags please elaborate? I feel it's no big deal to network but am I going too far to think the photo change is related?

[bowenw]

He took you out of his profile pic and other social media pictures.
He is chatting with a beautiful woman.
He is meeting a beautiful woman for coffee more than once lunch at his suggestion.
I believe there were a couple of other things in your previous post (s) about this, but I cannot remember the details.

[Asker]

Ah sorry to confuse - so this will be their first meeting. I just keep reading the updated messages. She initially messaged him about work advice because he is older and more successful than she is. He responded and offered to speak. Then it looked like they spoke and afterward he emailed her and said they can meet in person and she agreed. She is moving to our city shortly it would appear, for a new job. He then told her where he would meet her when she arrives and they are both saying how much they look forward to it. He chose a nice restaurant and upgraded the coffee to lunch in a nice place. And he began asking her more questions to help her in her career and she's all thanking him and falling over him in the emails.

[bowenw]

All those things could be just them being polite, but they could also be signs of more than a friendship. I suggest keeping close tabs on him.

[Asker]

thank you - agreed. i don't see why he needs to meet her honestly. she didn't even ask. and all the "looking forward to it?" he asked her like "we can meet up when you arrive, how's that sound?" i dont know

[bowenw]

It does not sound like something a married guy would normally do, unless it's was as part of his job.

[Asker]

Agreed. He gets nothing from this and he's using his personal email so it's not part of his job. He is doing this outside his job actually lol

[bowenw]

I'm not sure what else you can do at this point other than keeping a close watch on what he does.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Asker]

sure thing. I am concerned though. he met up with her now and they speak. she is sending him personal info about her health and he sounds worried about her. i asked a new question. I dont know what to think

[Nikki1989]

Seeing a "cluster" of changes all at once like this is reason enough to worry. In isolation, a photo change or a networking coffee may be insignificant, but when they occur simultaneously, it raises red flags.

[Asker]

agreed. For me it's the fact that he seems to be driving it and as you said the "cluster" behavior. I know im not crazy. I asked him and he said he just likes the photo.

[WhitneySnow]

Sounds like your husband wants to have an affair with this woman. Doesn’t mean she feels the same way.

[Asker]

you dont think im jumping too far? he could just wanna meet to help her and the photo change is unrelated but i dont know

[WhitneySnow]

It seems obvious to me. I don’t think you’re jumping too far.

[Asker]

thanks, just lastly, does it not seem also possible people can have social media with just them and their child without the spouse and it be okay? I never actually thought about it. He made it seem like I was being sensitive to feel I need to be in his profile photo because he is not in mine but neither is our child. It is just me playing tennis. For him to change it to just him and our daughter makes me feel cut out and then I read the messages of him suggesting meeting with that woman and linked them together. From what I can tell he doesn't follow her yet but the thing is I thought maybe he assumed she will look him up eventually and so wanted to only show what he wants her to see.

[youkhlat3002]

do you want to stick around and find out once he's cheated or keep your sanity and get your ducks in a row beforehand? just be ready for anything. men are intentional - even if we like to think otherwise.

[slatyb]

You should be very worried. If he's not having an affair with her, he's planning to.

[Asker]

Even if she doesn't appear to be pursuing it? She sounds normal in the emails I read. It was him suggesting they meet in person. She is moving to our city and he offered to meet her in person for lunch when she arrived. She is moving for work. She agreed and he then picks a nice place and the day after he confirmed it with her, he changed all his social media photos. I only know because I am reading his messages. She sounds very normal and he's the one saying he looks forward to seeing her and he even messaged her on Christmas eve to first initiate this.

[slatyb]

It could be all on his side, but it seems obvious he's crushing on her and is hoping something will develop.

[Asker]

agreed. thanks

[Fireguy17]

unless he has told you everything about her and has invited you to come along when he meets her, dump his sorry ass.

[Asker]

haha it'd be pretty weird for me to be invited to what is seemingly a networking meetup. It doesn't read romantic but its also unnecessary.

[DextroShade]

Sounds like you are behind on your pussy payments

[Asker]

i think its a stretch to assume a coffee is turning into sex lol

[smashleyy]

he’s no longer your man but yours and hers

[Asker]

im laughing only because this was funny lol but I checked and she isn't following him on social media, only linkedin. their messages I read are normal. She is acting normal. It was HIM saying let's meet in person. She asked for advice, complimented him as he's very senior to her and older than her seemingly. He then said lets meet and picked some restaurant and she agreed to it then he changed all the photos on social media a day later.

[spartan55]

Go nuclear and divorce him. /s 🙄

[Staximus]

Your husband is a shit bag

[Staximus]

Why the hell is he meeting up and having lunch 1 on 1 with some other woman? Because he's a fucking mutt and wants to bang her

[Asker]

Well from what I read it's some networking thing. She asked for advice career wise and he agreed to give it to her.

[snermcger]

Nah, you're good.

Sounds legit.

[onecuriousguy2454]

you are not divorced yes?

[Asker]

nope not divorced. Is it a divorced thing for people to have only their kid on profile photos? Everyone seems to be saying its a single dad signal

[LouRoc]

Yes you should be worried.

[Asker]

can you elaborate? My thoughts have been it can be a coincidence that he updates the photo while messaging someone about coffee and the message was her contacting him professionally. My concern was why did he suggest meeting her. They haven't even spoken. But the photo thing, I guess no big deal if im not on his profile photo because he isn't on mine and neither is our daughter - it's just me? In my head at the time I connected both events though I guess