Enough talk of politics, how about a Joke?

[AviatorTom]

Enough talk about Politics and what's going on in the world. Let's have some fun. Laughing is important.

Here is a joke. If you like it, or even if you don't, how about posting a joke of your own.

Two guy friends are having a beer at the pub. One says to the other, "How long have you been married now?" The other guy replies, "5 years". "Do you still have much sex?" "Oh yes", he says, "We rarely miss a day."

"Bloody hell, that's a lot. Have you tried the other hole?" "Oh, I couldn't do that. I'm not sure the wife would like that." " I didn't think my wife would like it either but I suggested it and she loves it. Why not ask your wife. You know, it never hurts to ask." "Okay, I think I'll do that. I'll ask her tonight."

A few days later, the guys are back at the pub. "Well, did you ask her?"

"Yes I did, but she said No, we can't afford to have children."

[236color]

I call this my "Pastor joke". I call it that because you can tell it to your pastor/priest/clergy they will find it funny and nobody will be offended.

Three local pastors meet every Thursday morning to have coffee and talk shop. One particular Thursday they begin discussing the problem of bats in the sanctuary. The first one said he had spent quite a bit of money from the church treasury. Now the money is gone and he still has the bats. The second said he'd had the same experience and he became so frustrated he had taken his shotgun and began blasting away at them, now he had bats and holes in the roof. The third pastor said he'd had bats, but seemed to have beaten the problem. Of course the other two want to know how he did it. So he told them, "It was pretty simple. I just baptized them and made them members of the church, and I haven't seen them since".

[Massageman]

A man goes into a cut-rate men's shop looking for a suit. The shopkeeper quickly hands him a suit and the man tries it on. "The shoulders on this suit don't fit me", complains the shopper. "Just keep your shoulders shrugged and it will look fine", claims the shifty salesman. "And look at these pants. They are far too long, " continued the man. "Just hold them up with your right hand and they will look fine", replied the salesman. Still not really convinced, the weary shopper reluctantly paid for the suit and kept it on as he left the store.

Later on the street, two men were watching the customer- now awkwardly stumbling down the sidewalk. "Look at that poor disabled guy", said one of them. "Yes, but doesn't his suit fit perfectly?" replied the other.

(It's a joke from the 40's).

[purplepoppy]

I've sent my friend a get well soon card. She's not sick, I just think she can do better.

Two birds on a perch, one says can you smell fish.

[queenofcardio]

Haha good one !

[NathanDavis]

~ my wife is going into labor... what should I do?

- 911: is this her first child?

~ no... this is her husband...

[DryGermanGuy]

https://youtu.be/N3jx4WIUYy4?si=r9Mi3-qyBUNlCPQn

[exitseven]

too funny.

Q: What's blue and goes faster than a speeding bullet?

A: A Smurf in a blender.

[Theunfadeable]

Why did the rat have to go back to court?

Cause the judge said it was nacho cheese.

[MrChinaski]

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colours? A reptile dysfunction.

[MrChinaski]

Two owls are sitting on a branch. One turns to the other and says 'Oh, did I tell you that I got married?' and the other owl replies, 'You twit, to who?'.

[Friendlybro79]

Lol. I didn't see that coming.

[Cidknee]

As Ernest said, "eeeewwwwwwwwuuu, that's stinky!"

[msc545]

LOL! Thanks!