Former colleague asks if I'll be "the star" at his wedding?

[DishLady]

Where I come from the bride is always the star of her own wedding. However for some reason the groom -- a former colleague -- announced to me that he's getting married and is FURIOUS about a bunch of things his mil-to-be is doing for the reception. He says he doesn't care if he's at a Wendy's Drive-Through with a DJ and a tent so long as he can marry THIS girl (SWEET, right?), but he's "stuck" with the traditional big reception.

He's asking me a bunch of questions about etiquette bc he knows I'm pretty good with these things, but then he has "an amazing idea"... "Would you like to be THE STAR at my wedding?"

I give him a look. "What are you talking about? The bride is the star of the wedding. You both are."

He makes a face. "I just want to dance. She just wants to dance. I want someone to go around and be nice to everyone so I can just enjoy myself and dance."

It was the funniest request I've ever had in my life. I just grinned and asked him to sit down while I got him some water. Obvi he was sloshed. I know him and his girl very well. Very committed to each other for years. he's just talking out of his ass bc his mil is being frustrating. Possibly the mil is trying to be "the star of the show" which is what this guy is reacting to.

What do y'all think?

[spartan55]

I think your association with weirdos is unmatched, but I digress.
I guess he is asking what you thought, be a social buffer, alleviater. But, I agree, it is a very odd request. I would suggest placating him and then do proceed with proper wedding etiquette: don't take center stage and be a good guest. He isn't going to have time to monitor your performance anyway, so have fun with it.

[DishLady]

I don't plan to be a guest at all out of respect for the bride, though I'm a friend and associate of the groom. I didn't like this request. It was too odd.

[spartan55]

Huh? The bride doesn't like you?

[DishLady]

No, she's an absolute sweetie pie. But like I said, SHE should be the star of her own wedding. There's apparently some glitch where Mom-In-Law-zilla is making a massive production out of every little thing, meanwhile the groom (who is a colleague from work) is panicked and wants someone to step in and stop the madness. I guess bc he's seen me do it so often at work he thinks I can step in and fix this somehow, but I'm not gonna be the scapegoat for a mom-in-law glitch. He needs to take this up with his gal and her mom directly.

[OlderAndWiser]

This guy and his fiancee need to reconcile their obvious conflict with her mother, or the problems will get worse after the wedding.

Tell him that you cannot bring yourself to steal a show that belongs to someone else, even if done so by invitation.

[DishLady]

I think it's more of a "guy logic" thing. The mother-daughter conflict can be reduced and ignored without any sort of argument if he just tosses another gal into the mix to force mom and bride to team up... It comes from guys' so called aversion to confrontation, which always generates drama for other people. I'm just gonna steer clear of them till after their wedding.

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm sure you understand the situation far better than I do.

[DishLady]

Nah. I just plan to step away from it. I told him he could share my number with his gal if she needs anything, but I don't plan to keep contact with him outside the office environment. And I only offer that bc I have helped host a lot of massive events in my time and am sensitive to the stupid nitty gritty of things.

[OlderAndWiser]

Me, too. I've planned a number of huge events for 150-200 guests. Lots of work!

[DishLady]

Yes! Funny enough, that is when I'm MOST in the background and least a "star".

[exitseven]

I think that you lead a very interesting life.

I guess he wants somebody to run interference for him and his bride.

[DishLady]

He's gonna have to get used to doing it himself.