When a younger guy propositions an older woman, is it "just for fun" by default?

[DishLady]

I've had this dialogue with a few people bc in my opinion a younger guy with his whole life ahead of him isn't propositioning a woman old enough to be his mother for anything more than a short-term fling. He wants to say "he had an older woman"... But lately I've found it's happening quite a lot and guys seem more persistent about it, which I personally don't like.

I find I have to be more careful in what I'm saying bc any little positive comment is taken as a green light to start flirting, meanwhile I was just being nice or making conversation rather than just being one of the many awkward women in the room.

To add to it, younger guy friends who can hold a convo with me and are great company all admit that they want someone young enough to have kids with... but then they will still make a play for me till I walk away from the friendship. It hurts, but I'd rather than than have some kind of fling with a guy who may or may not just leave once he finds a younger version of me.

Some people think I should feel flattered to have the attention, but if you think about what you're being offered -- you're good enough for the short-term till I find better -- why would that be acceptable to a woman who does so much for other people and just wants someone nice to come home to... a partner-in-crime so to speak?

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, that is certainly the interest of many younger men. . . but not all of them. When i was 23, i dated a woman who was 44, and i never thought of her as a conquest or a fling. However, she broke up with me because she assumed that was my interest, despite my explanation to the contrary.

[DishLady]

I guess we’re also self-conscious.

I mean… I’d go for someone 4-5 years younger than me but not more than that. I want someone who has watched the same programs and such.

[OlderAndWiser]

My wife is 9 years younger me but her Chinese upbringing presents far more challenges than the age difference.

[DishLady]

Hmm.

[exitseven]

I always thought that ten years younger was the limit before it gets weird. I know women at the gym that are in their 50s and are still hot enough to attract younger guys. I know at least one that actually went for it. I suppose it is an ego thing

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[_Jenny_]

@DishLady because you’re beautiful plus some guys love 💕 mature women.

[DishLady]

Thanks @_Jenny_, but tbh I don't know if looks have anything to do with it. The most recent one was very simple.

It was POURING rain and he came running back in from a photo shoot with the other guys. He was the only one I hadn't met before. He was very tall and had a funny little mustache.

My GPS had malfunctioned so I missed the photoshoot and was under the tent with my umbrella when he ran up to where I was. I said, "Aww, I missed it!" and he laughed and said "Yeah" and shook out his hair then fixed it. I said "Nice mustache. You should try out for evzone" (a Greek joke). He laughed and we shook hands. After that he stuck to me like glue the whole night. It was a little funny till he got serious about asking me out. He looked so hurt when I told him he was too young, that he should find a nice girl... and he looked around and said "Where? You're the only one for miles." I felt SOO bad, but I had to leave. I don't like feeling bad... and tbh I don't know if it's just a game for these guys.

[_Jenny_]

@DishLady I’m so sorry dear 💕

[ryanrhino]

First, I'm not a younger man. But, an not-as-younger men may be less out and about if they're looking for a long-term relationship. Switching gears a bit to some hope for you.

The effort for the next partner is worth it. As Hank Green has recently repeated on YouTube, "no effort is wasted", which he heard from a woman he interviewed recently and it filled his heart and mind as it did mine.

[Spencer10]

Of course not. I never generalize about people. Older women included. If I hit on any woman its because I find her interesting on many levels other than just for "fun".

[Spencer10]

Now the same could be said of older women as well... do they hit on younger guys just for fun? There are many reasons why they would. Bottom line is for me who cares? If we are open about our intentions the other person can decide accordingly. Its when people BS the other that there is problems.

[DishLady]

The person getting the attention cares, that’s for sure. I don’t like short-term associations.

[Spencer10]

Makes sense. The main thing is that they are honest and upfront. If they do that you can choose. Either way they are not wasting your time.

[worldscolide]

Not always. But it also depends on the age gap. For example say he is 5 years younger, it's probably serious. But, and I hate to admit this, if the age gap is a lot wider like 10 years plus, yeah it's just for a bit of fun.

[DishLady]

Ironically, while I totally agree with you, the guy ~5y younger is way less mature than some of the fellows in their late 30s/early 40s.

[worldscolide]

No disagreement here

[Pieterrabbit1]

It’s not necessarily “just” for fun. Some guys are genuinely attracted to women that are older than they are.

[DishLady]

I guess. I just don’t see the logic.

[slatyb]

Each instance is different. What do you want?

[DishLady]

Not fish bait, that’s for sure.

[MasterKS]

Experience matters.