He keeps saying that im not okay with our friends with benefits relationship?

[Anonymous]

if i joke about our situation he claims that im not okay with our friends with benefits situation. I told him how i think i view our friendship differently than he does and he says that he invited me over to stay the night the day his family leaves town, that he bought me food cause i was hungry, and that he watched a sad movie that i wanted to watch and again claimed that it sounds like im not okay with our friends with benefits situation again. i keep telling him i am but he's brought it up multiple times and im trying to understand why he keeps bringing it up. *psa i am always over at his place staying the night whenever his family is not visiting or his daughter isn't with him and we talk about every day.

[HollyK21]

If this is his stance then I think the only solutions would be to either stop this altogether or be very strict about how you navigate this connection. Everything you guys are doing sounds more to me like a situationship vs a friends with benefits.


I find a more formal friends with benefits dynamic to be pretty strict, because you really should only be contacting eachother to arrange your next meet up, with maybe a check in here and there. Yeah it can feel more impersonal, but that’s the point and it’s why most people don’t engage in that dynamic. When you and this guy are talking almost every day, spending time together and seeing each other fairly often, whether you believe it or not you are building towards something, and it sounds like he’s concerned about that element of things.


To which I’d say, maybe you should reconsider what’s happening here, and if it’s what you want in the long run. Because if it is, then you should be doing less things that brings you two closer. Otherwise things become complicated, since you will inevitably catch feelings beyond just having sex.

[bowenw]

I suggest you ask him in what ways he feels you are not okay with the current arrangement and how he believes you view it differently than him. He may be hoping that it becomes more serious and wants to see if you have any feelings for him beyond friendship.

[Zally]

This one is pretty simple, your friends with benefits sotuation has made him realise he wants something more serious.

In short, pussy and friendship are a mix for creating feelings. And its why the situation is rare to exist for a long time.