Why did he pull away after sex and ask to stay friends?

[Anonymous]

have been dating this guy for a while and everything seemed so amazing and he was really into me and saying he is looking for a relationship. but after we slept together for the first time, i asked him about his feelings and he suddenly started telling me he’s not really over his ex, doesn’t know what he wants at the moment and that he is often avoidant with his feelings and that he is not good for me. it became an emotional conversation because his switch up made me sad and i cried. i feel embarrassed about this now. he told me he wants to keep seeing me and getting to know me but just being friends for now (no intimacy) and see where things go. he said he doesn’t want me to think negatively of him. i don’t understand him, what does all this mean and what should i do?

[SueShe]

He simply (mis) used you as a rebound, a substitute for his ex and he just needed to relieve himself of excessive testosterone. Nothing more, nothing less.

He never had any real feelings for you and only saw you as a good way alternative to fornicate with and then to dispose of you after the deed was done. This is not unusual. Lots of men proceed the same way. He realized that you had a crush on him and that you would be "open" to copulating with him. Why miss on such an opportunity?

His excuse is trivial and he has been lying to you from the start. He is over his ex but simply needed a good excuse.

[Asker]

thank you. I am a bit confused, so is he actually over his ex or no? And does it mean he doesn‘t find me attractive enough or is it just about him? I feel so insecure and thinking maybe it‘s cause i am not good enough for him

[SueShe]

If a decent person is not really over his ex, then he would not have intimate relationships with another woman. To me, that is just a lame excuse.

It is likely that what he experienced with you was not what he expected, regardless whether he finds you attractive or not.

In my opinion, it is all about him and not about you. You should not feel insecure at all.

[Anonymous]

He’s not over his ex and you slept with him knowing that? There is your first mistake. You knew that and gave him what he wanted. This isn’t hard to figure out.

[Asker]

He told me that he is not over her after we slept together, not before. Before we slept together he said he is currently looking for a relationship

[Pterodon]

Ha! Yeah he lied. He just wanted your pussy

[Pterodon]

He got what he wanted from you and now he’s done. You have to remember sex always changes a relationship and sometimes not for the better

[Anonymous]

Being stuck on a previous girl is a significant hurdle to forming new relationships.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on finding yourself such a lowlife Player.

[WhitneySnow]

He just wanted to hook up and now he’s done

[scott04sa22]

All he wanted was sex.

[Anonymous]

He’s confused