Why are black girls the least desirable? (Page 2)

Question

Why is it that black girls are the most undesirable? (For non-black guys)I'm seeing a lot of negative things being said about black women in the media (mainly online). I even saw a forum thread dedicated to how black girls are the ugliest. Sure there are racist people that will say that other races are ugly, but black girls get the most heat. I've seen a lot of black girls ask similar questions, and people just think we're imagining things. I mean, look at the marriage rates. Black women are the least married race. I've heard people say that even black guys don't want black women.

This issue is causing my already low-self esteem to plummet to uncharted territories, even though I think I'm pretty compared to most black girls but not so pretty according to regular beauty standards (if that makes sense). My school is mostly white, but the few black girls that go there don't have boyfriends, and to me they are pretty and seem intelligent. Boys aren't everything and at our young age it's better to be more concerned with our academic and career goals, but I feel so discouraged when it comes to dating (keep in mind that I live in a predominately white area).  

In conclusion, I would like to know what it is about black girls that's so unattractive? (BE HONEST, answer anonymously if you must, and don't feed me any crap about "preferences" because in most cases I find that there is underlying racism behind this so-called racial preferences).

OpenClose · Answer

They're not the least attractive. But you're talking about a predominantly white nation having a preference towards predominantly white women.

It's interesting all the generalizations about black women. A lot of such generalization, like the attitude or the weight, come from how black Americans are socialized by each other and the media. They are still recovering from a past so traumatic is sends ripples through the entire race.

But it's rather ironic to generalize blacks: Nearly all of the genetic variety in the human species is in Africa and in blacks around the world. Europe, for instance, is the most genetically-homogeneous continent on the planet. The Germanic nations even more so.

So you can expect that white people would have a preference for white features. And TBH, the stereotypical black woman (Loud-mouthed, KFC-eating, finger-waving, generously-sized woman.) repulses me to no end. But since when were all black women like that?

Here are some women I find quite attractive:

Aisha Tyler:

link

Halle Berry:

link

Michelle Obama:

Not as much physically, but I think she's awesome.

Esperanza Spalding:

link

To finish it off, I have a question for women, then. What do WOMEN have against Asian men? Asian men seem to be viewed as the least desirable men.

I've heard enough times "How did that Asian guy end up with a white girl? Like THAT can ever happen." To which I reply "Okay, sure...but they get Asian women!"

Musicmeister · Answer

I know this is an old post but people are still finding and reading it so here:

Black women are some of the most desirable women in the world. That is why we have been mixed with so many races, French, Spanish, Dutch, etc. Why did so many Slave Masters visit the black woman's coveted vagina? Even in her raw beauty of uncombed hair and ragged cloths made from hemp men of all races found her irresistible. Just take a look at history, not His -Story.

Did white mother raise her little white children? No sir, guess who raise her little white babies? Mamie. You want to know why? Not only was the black woman most desirable for her beauty and sexuality but she was also thought to be better suited as mother to young offspring's of little white children. I could go on and on but I don't have the time. I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of hate but just look at history, it tells it's own story. No hot irons, no make up, in some cases not even a bath! so how did some of us get light and damn near white is she is so undesirable.

It's a part of mental slavery and mental bondage that we need to break away from and recognize the black woman for everything she was, everything she is, and everything she will be. Big Dre

MirandaSophia · Answer

I'm white, and I've seen many black girls whose beauty I envied. But any man who would not date a woman based on her appearances alone is shallow.

I've noticed something about the black community, however, and I don't mean to generalize--many times, it seems that black women are viewed in a more demeaning and less respectful way by their own families and communities, with young girls being raised with the mentality that they have to catch a man and keep him happy. This is somewhat less true for whites. Again, I'm generalizing, and correct me if I'm wrong. But I'm a salesclerk and I see and deal with all kinds of people. I've seen black men treat their girlfriends like they were lucky to have any kind of male attention at all. This is as much her problem as it is his. Her acceptance of his treatment of her just perpetuates it.

For an intelligent, educated, and pretty black woman such as you seem to be, you should not have any problem finding someone who values you for who you are.

One last thing--for every rule, there is an exception. For instance, it's thought that most men prefer women with big breasts. And maybe they do, but that isn't stopping the millions of small-breasted women in the world from finding people who love them and value their beauty. So even though you may think that many men find black women unattractive, there are just as many men who think they're beautiful--or who, most importantly, judge women on an individual basis rather than as a group.

Yeahhbro · Answer

I don't know if this has to do with anything. But for instance black woman's hair is curly and look like metal sponges (sorry I don't know the right word). Black woman's hair is not naturally straight like other races. Also think about it, the most appealing colors are always light and brilliant colors, NO dark colors. That's why diamonds are more eye catchy than lets say cold or something of that sort. In metals is the same thing. Gold is more appealing than bronc and other dark colors of metals. Actually for the most part black woman have very strong face features, like really string jaws, big noses and they like. If you see this with white women who for the most part have softer face features, are white skinned or at least much lighter like skin, usually have light color eyes and light color hair then you might see why black girls are not considered as more good looking. That doesn't mean though that girls with dark hair and dark eyes are ugly or average because that;s not true, there is some very good looking dark hair and eyes girls. same for black girls. But if you ask me its mostly their hair, their face features, and the dark color of their skin, its not as eye catchy as white skin, since its less bright. I am not racist, but you asked a very controversial question so I am giving you a very honest answer. Remember the media influences as well, the women that are considered the most are not black women, the media also reinforces that.

Viper172 · Answer

That’s a fascinating question.

I guess it comes down to biology. We are just socializing mammals, and for most of human existence, we’ve only lived in small groups. It’s only been in the last 10,000 years or so (a mere blink of the eye in geological timescales) that we’ve started to live in gatherings of more than a few hundred. Back then every group was competing for the same resources, so it made evolutionary sense to be wary of strangers. If somebody wandered into your village, who looked different from your people, they were considered a threat.

So we are genetically predisposed to be attracted to people who look somewhat like us. And to fear those who are different.

In more recent times we’ve been forced to live in bigger and bigger groups and during the last hundred years, in far more diverse groups. Which means that a lot of us have managed to overcome that predisposition,

Personally, I am a white guy living in a very multi-cultural city. I consider myself to be very liberal, and have friends from all races. I have seen plenty of beautiful Black women, Asian women, Mediterranean women, Arabic women... And I recognise their beauty. But I’m not sexually attracted to it.

But there’s absolutely no denying that deep down inside my brain, that I find girls who look like me more attractive than girls who don’t.

I’m sure that black guys find black girls hotter than others

And Asian dudes dig on Asian chicks.

That’s not to say that some people can’t overcome this programming –thank goodness they do. It makes the world a far more interesting place.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it's true. They are the least desirable people. They have big lips, act all ghetto (that included stupidity and laziness), they make 10+ babies on welfare, big asses, large rolls of fat, pitch dark skin, yellow eyes, flat ugly noses, and they have pubes on their head that they use cholesterol to straighten out their nappy pube-like hair. If they meet any of the criteria above, they're out of here.

I would look for girls with class, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. Black girls hardly meet any of these criteria. Most black girls hang out with wankstas, a type of people whom I despise for their utter stupidity and despicable behavior, who forgo their education just so they can be 'well liked' by their wanksta peers.

In essence, these are my preferences and dislikes. They would sound racist and it could be, but not many people would want a girl with any of those disgusting features like nappy hair or yellow eyes.

Plus, I get plenty of heat from my old fashioned parents. I don't want more of it by bringing a black girl home and then my parents freak out and disown me. The same thing happens if I 'become gay', which will never happen.

Jellyfish · Answer

I think that's ridiculous to say an entire group of people are ugly. Everyone looks different. Of course there are similarities. Black women have their assets just like any other race. Full lips, dark eyes, curvy figure. That sounds like today's ideal beauty to me. And I wouldn't worry about fitting in with the ideal beauty anyway, we all know they are impossible standards. What's more ideal is to accept our own beauty, no matter what.

I've not experienced this thing about black women not being as beautiful. Partly because I'm white, so I'm just oblivious to it. But maybe being in a predominately white area they see you as different and unfamiliar and are afraid. When you are at a point in your life to move, look for a place with lots of diversity, you will find accepting people that won't think being black is so different.

My best friend in college was a black girl and she preferred white men. And we noticed that typically white men see black women as "exotic". And she had many dates and boyfriends, but rarely long term relationships because these men were looking to get to have sex with "the black girl".

I really have no clue why all this is, but I wanted to give my most honest answer. I'm sorry you have to experience this, I think black women do have a hard role to play in life, and it makes them stronger and more independent and perhaps superior women.

symphonee · Answer

First off, you're young and once you move out of your town, if you decide to you'll see a difference. I grew up in a predominately black neighborhood. I had white friends but never white boyfriends. I wasn't all that sure if white guys found me attractive but I figured it was their loss if they didn't.

I went into the military and found out that they did. Some white guys like black girls but they do not voice it. I had a white boyfriend and had just as many white and Asian guys hit on me as black guys. Some liked me as a novelty; others liked me because of their personal preference. Most of them liked me for me.

When you describe guys that you like, do you describe their skin tone as dark, pale or tanned. You are stating a preference just like most of us do. The fact that you ask about your question about your Asian half is astounding and racist in itself. Please just deal with the fact that people have preferences and the American media does not do much for African and African American females' self esteem; let alone any women's . Love yourself. Clothes and music choice don't make you white or black and the fact that you will not date a white man because he embraces "urban culture" is a preference and slightly racist as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Im being honest here and I beleive that black girls light skin or dark are just as attractive as any other race of women. I think statistically black women marry less because in general which I may be wrong on, they are the most likely to remain dating only within their race without wantign to branch out and explore other races of men. I'm guessing you live in the U.S. where people are much more heaviliy influeneced by media then most other foreign countries. where I live in england. its not reallyso much of a big deal we do have influence from america here but not so much. I'm part brazilian and part italian which stereotypically says I like black women, I guess that holds true for me as all flavours of sugar are just as sweet, but from man to man it varies, maybe the guys where you lvie are a little nervous to be different and branch out from what is the norm. I'm sure a lot of the guys where you lvie find youvery attractive but they may feel a little held back. just show them that you are not the generalised type of black girl that is portrayed in media, just be yoruself and they will love you

Good Luck, God Bless

Kalantir · Answer

I would like to start by stating I am not racist. I find beauty in various women of all ethnic backgrounds. However, I cannot deny that some races have a higher percentage of attractive women than others.

Although I do agree that black women are generally not as attractive as other women, I don't think its a simple matter of skin color. In fact, dark skin is a turn on for me. I've noticed generally ugliness is determined more by body type and facial structure. If you compare faces of people from different countries, there are undeniable differences in placement and size of various bones in the face.

For me, the aesthetic traits most common in the faces of black women are less appealing then those from other races. Another major factor to take into consideration is stereotypes. I'm sure you know what I mean. Big butts, loud demanding attitudes, uneducated, etc.. I realize that not every black women fits the stereotypes, but there are a lot who do.

There are plenty of black women who don't fit the stereotypes and are quite beautiful. I'm pretty sure most people can agree on this. If you are "pretty compared to most black girls" as you say, I'm sure you're pretty compared to anyone else. If you don't fit the stereotypes, are pretty, and have trouble finding a boyfriend... You might try being a little big more aggressive. Show that guy you like that you are not like all those black women who give you a bad name.

My apologies if you find this offensive. I am just trying to be honest. Again, I am not racist and there are many black women who I find to be very sexy.

JohnRJ · Answer

I have seen gorgeous black girls, and I am white. I suspect some of what you still run into is families would rather their child bring home mates of the same race and religion syndrome. I also beleive these trends are getting weaker for every generation. In my grandparents day, you would not have seen races mixing or playing, in my day there was more mixing. In the couple of generations after me there is far more mixing going on. I like this trend, but we are not completely there yet. In my case I went to a fairly unsegregated mixed school, if your school is predominantly white this will likely cause more issues for you.

But, perhaps you can help a bit, have you looked within. I am not accusing you of being raciest, but perhaps hurt by it and therefore sending out unintended messages. I don' t blame you for your feelings, but is it in part due to crutches, excuses, or self pity? We all have and will experience biases, whether its race, abilities, religion, physical characteristics, somewhere we will all experience it. . I find the best to pretend it does not exist, move on, and be better. Do whatever things you can to do to minimize the issues. You might have to extend yourself a bit more in social networks, I suspect things will come around for you better if you do this. .

Anonymous · Answer

No guy I personally know has ever called a black girl ugly. In fact, the only comments I've heard have been positive. I think most non-black guys steer clear of black girls by default, not because of any reason. I think it's just a cultural divide. I live in London, England, by the way. And I'm half white, half east Asian.

I judge women as individuals. I have my preferences, and if a girl meets those preferences, then I want her. Skin color is way down the list of my preferences. Actually, I'm not even sure I do have a preference when it comes to color. I've actually never interacted at length with a black girl (again I think it's the cultural divide), even though I live in a city that is 13.3% black and 2.3% part-black.

All that said, these are huge generalizations, but these are some things positive and negative I've noticed about black girls. Some of these positive things may explain why some guys prefer black girls. Some of these negative things may explain why some guys prefer non-black girls. Positive: big butt; big boobs; know how to dance; age well; look good without make-up; loyal to their men. Negative: overly assertive (which can be both irritating and intimidating); they're used to macho male culture (which many non-black guys can't fulfil); more likely to be religious or devoutly religious (a negative for me, as I'm an atheist); approach guys, especially non-black guys, even less than white girls do.

PunkRockerTillDeath · Answer

Well,I think that the reason most white guys stick to a girl of their race is because they are more similiar.A lot of times,when you like someone its for the qualities that match your own.As for the black guys,I have no idea what is going on inside their heads and have no explanation for their actions.Black girls are most defidentally NOT ugly.I've seen many beautiful black women.Dont degrade yourself by comparing yourself to todays beauty standards because what they call 'beautiful' is sometimes mud ugly.If they said roadkill was beautiful people would believe them.And it is not just black girls that catch the crap,its anyone that looks different in general.It could be the way you dress,the color of your skin,facial shape,hell,it could even be your socks! But,people are shallow and judgemental,just ignore them.I know its hard,trust me,I know.You know what though? You are better off in the end.Its not just racism its shallow-ness(if that's a word).I am white and I know there is no excuse for what they are doing.Just remember we are not all like that.Boost your confidence up,girl,it'll get better!

I really hope I helped.

Jolly-Green-Giant · Answer

Well in my area it was predominantly white and I didn't really know much different. All I could really see what was on tv or what I was told (obnoxious, loud, ghetto, strongly opinionated). Eventually there were a few black kids went to my school K-8 ( I was in 6th or 7th grade when the first black kid came. He wasn't treated different then any other kid and was actually quite popular.

Anyway at my high school there was a small number of black people and they weren't once again treated any different. However they did play into the stereotypes that were given to most African Americans ( two guys played basketball and were good, were players with the ladies, etc.) and there was another few that actually rapped. They did it at one of our assemblies. The girls there were loud and strongly opinionated. I didn't know of any in my year in high school (actually one I lied) and only saw what the younger and older ones did and acted.

I'm in college and have a black friend. We hang out all the time.

Anyway in the dining hall every once in a while I will be eating when a ruckus starts and breaks the traditional dull roar of the dining complex. There is a table of black people who start pounding out a beat and start yelling and dancing and disrupting people's dinner (I think it is awesome and really funny, especially since people get so bugged by anything that breaks the ordinary) . Anyway so this is what I see to be the typical black girl. I am more of a shy guy and do not think that a loud, strong opinionated lady would fit me well. Therefore I prefer white girls I guess you could say. I don't think I am racist but there are trends that I have noticed. I try to give everyone a shot at being a friend before ruling them out. I feel it is only fair.

metaldave20 · Answer

i actually wrote a paper on rap and hip hop music back in high school that I got an A+ on btw

black women get the bad rap that they get because these so called "new school" rappers like 50 cent, degrade women to make them look like sex objects and moneymakers... of course women are not like that, especially after the womens movement of the 70's. "old school" rap didn't do this. sugarhill gang, I mean come on I don't think you ever hear the B word in there, yet in songs like "get low" you hear the M------F--- word.

to white guys, black women just don't do it for us, I dk y really, its just got to do with how we are attracted to a specific thing for a long time and you can't change it just like that "snaps fingers" it'd be like taking an animal out of its territory and putting it somewhere unknown, its not gonna know how to act around that new territory.

thats not to say ALL white men don't like black women. I for one, would not mind at least trying it out, just to see what it'd be like. I mean afterall black women are just as equal as white women, they just have different tastes in different things, so maybe you're attracted to that black woman for her tastes/looks, ya know?

so yeah, don't get so down on yourself if you really would like to date a white guy, there are white guys out there who like and maybe even prefer black women.

thats my preach of the day

thanks for listening

Afrodite101 · Answer

Well I am HORRIFIED that you want to hear a list of unattractive traits of black women.

I am one! and I don't give a f**k what other people could or do think of me. I know who I am, I love myself and people can or can't its that simple. I grew up in a small town and was the only black chick in my school. I didn't date a lot of men in my high school days for my own insecurities as well, but started to a lot more in my late teens. The midset that your thinking you will be one of those ladys. LOVE YOURSELF were all different, many men don't like pencil thin women some do etc. there was a post on here a few weeks ago about a black women who was affraid to go for another race of man and how white men don't like us, and how other black people will look down upon her for not being with one. I'm with a white male and we LOVe each other. Sure we get looks but I don't care they don't know me or him, or how he treats me and if they want to be simple minded than LET THEM. Just the other day I was talking with my boyfriend about rascism and he looked and me and said IT NEVER really occurs to me your black. That's how it should be I'm a person REGARDLESS of my apperience! Were the next generation and do you want our generation to repeat? CHANGE your midset and BE YOUR OWN PERSON. I'm half black and I remember in my teenage years feeling the urge to hang out with more black people, they TOTALLY insulted me callin me white and that the only black thing about me was my hair, and I thought to myself who do you think you are? Its sooo not true that were not desirable to other races because we are! after all a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman!

Anonymous · Answer

i don't even think black girls should date outside their races! just stick to black guys or guys that are mixed with black! I'm black too and just reading these comments pretty much is the reason why you would neeever catch me with a nonblack or at least mixed guy. most people (typically whites and asians) believe everything the media says.

1. black women are ghetto. sure like there are no educated black women that are feminine and come from good homes. and there are no trailer trash white women, or barrio latin women.

2. black women are fat. yes in a country with a 60% obesity rate, only black women are fat. it's not like we come in all shapes and sizes or anything, nope all of us are fat.

3. we have big noses and big lips. I'm guessing they have never seen too many asian people because a lot of them have large wide noses and lips too. also I didn't know all black women look alike and have the same facial features. I guess I must be mixed then because my nose is pointy and my lips are pouty, not oversized.

4. we're all loud. um OK yeah there are no quiet black girls out there. and all white girls are docile and quiet, never obnoxious

seriously with this kinda sh*t I don't even know why black people even date outside their race unless they hate themselves or something. black folks need to stick together because most of the world is biased against us whether they want to admit it or not. also why would you wanna date someone who doesn't have the intelligence to think beyond stereotypes? I don't have to prove myself to anyone. I know who I am and I love black men, other races aren't even on my radar (well maybe except for a few puerto ricans and swirl babies) but other than that no thanks..

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a white guy who hasn't ever been attracted to a black female. I live in the suburbs of a major city which has many black people. As a result, I've grown up with them, and I'm not a racist. Thus, you needn't label me a racist or somebody who is isolated from society. I'm a liberal, and I'm open to all types of people.

Judging from personal experience alone, many, though not all, of the black girls I've encountered have really irritated me. More often than not they're selfish, boisterous, masculine, and ignorant. Virtually all of the black girls who don't fit that stereotype that I know are devout, close-minded Christians. As an atheist, this degree of close-mindedness is a big turn-off.

Personality generalizations aside, there are still some traits that aren't attractive to me. I don't find the hair of most black girls to be attractive. Ebonics, ubiquitous among black people especially around the huge city I live in, is a major turnoff.

Lastly, I find it to be humorous that you ask answers to be honest, but then immediately tell them not to state an idea. I find it highly likely that some people have a natural, non-racist preference when it comes to women; some people like tall women, some people like short women, some people like big breasts/butts, some like those things smaller, some like white women, some like black women. In fact, I bet it's harder for a tall but pretty white girl to get some than an attractive, normal black girl.

My advice: don't think too hard about it. It's actually less of an issue that you're making it out to be. Each person has his own preferences, and there's not really any way you can change that. Work hard to be the best person you can; when people get in your way, keep treading, despite how difficult it can be. Pouting won't get you anywhere.

Anonymous · Answer

Anonymous, you don't seem to like yourself or your race. There are plenty of beautiful black women out there. You just don't see them. Your looking out a small window than the big one. You go to hollywood or other big towns and cities and you will see how beautiful we are. But in small towns and local cities, you won't see too many because your mostly around whites who have a little more money than most black ppl. Just the way it is. So they can up keep themselves better but that's just a small view. ANd the media plays a lot in why people think there's not enough pretty black girls out cause they show the negative sides of black ppl's life. Poor and in the hood. That's not reality at all. And remember if your around whites, your gonna feel that way cause your forced to compare. We are all brainwashed by society to what society say is standard beauty. White skin, straight hair, blues eyes and skinny bodies. That has been programed in our minds through TV and our enviroment that we believe it now.

It is true that most black women have attitudes. y? because of what black women have gone through back in slavery. We were raped by white slaveowners in fron t of our children and inslaved for years that there is pain in a lot of our bloodstreams that have gone down through generations. We were left to raise many children on our own while our man were taking away to do slave work. You see? white people have had it easy when it comes to there ancestors who didn't go through what blks have. Not all blck women but most esp from the ghetto. Some Blk men show there pain through drugs and jail. let it go? Not easy after 400 years of slavery.

ripvanwinkle · Answer

Hello, I am a black guy. No matter what black men say, they love black women and find you attractive, certainly physically. In fact many black men who date white women look for white women with the physical attributes of black women. However, beauty is only skin deep.

Many black men, including me, can never seemingly find desirable black women with both kind dispositions and physical attractiveness who will give us the time of day. So the attractiveness issue is personality driven. In general, YOUNG black women make very poor choices in men, presumably due to peer pressure to only date highly sought after black athletes. Most of these alpha guys date 5 women at once and are irresponsible. After getting dumped or divorced from the perfect guy, many black women generalize there poor choice by projecting negativity to every black man. When the next nice guy asks you out, he is typically rejected, ignored, or raked over the coals with some insane questionnaire. A segment of black women are cynical and date only for money. Yet another boatload of black women display self hatred by seeking out white men only for skin color or perceived traits associated with color, and ignore the great black guys all around them. Tamron Hall is an example.

Yet another issue that often arise is the selfish nature of many black women who focus so completely on there education and career. Other groups of women date their men in school and work with them cooperatively towards a future while in school. Black women do not.

Neo1225 · Answer

Black people have strong personalities. They are confident and outspoken. I think its because black people have to deal with coming from poor backgrounds than the other race counterparts and thus have to have a stronger personality to deal with difficulties in life. Things are not handed to them on a silver platter. They have to work hard to get out of the hood, get an education and a job and build life for themselves. Nothing is given to them or is made easy for them.

They also have to face racism and preference being shown to others who are white or have naturally strait hair and fair skin. This is genetic for them but black people have to work for all of that by putting on relaxers and weaves.

People should understand that's why black people have strong personality. Because of economic reasons caused by history and genetically they have course hair, dark skin, are curvy and have thick lips.

Even if they are not beautiful in society's standards they are the ones with the most HEART and are SOULFUL. Black people are REAL. Sharing a black persons life journey can only make you more compassionate and appreciate life more. Live life to the fullest and savour every moment.

Black people are beautiful and have beautiful souls! That's why they are rappers, poets and they are emotionally deep.. They have a lot to tell about life. They are gorgeous and magnificent.
I should know I am black, intelligent, kind and just too beautiful.

hunnie-bunches · Answer

i don't know much about being attracted to any female because I am not gay buT I am a white female and I only date black men and I have asked the same question to a lot of black men and most of them say most black females have smart allek attitudes and are too loud and obnoxious an are gold diggers. (REMEMBER THIS WAS THIER ANSWER NOT MINE) I also think white men are too worried about what other white folks will say if they were to date a black female but where I live a lot of white men date black females well actually where I live all sorts of different people date different races. I feel like this wether you believe in god or you don't we all came from the same place so it shouldnt matter who you date as long as they treat you respectfully and love you . I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can find some one who likes you for you and not just what you look like even though you are probably beautiful  and I agree no matter what color boys shold be last on the list of importance when in school.

Anonymous · Answer

Coming from a white guy that has lived in a majority black neighborhood his entire life, I see the white and black side of the world. Black women are not undesirable from a stance of physical attributes. Your typical professional white male will find the majority of black females undesirable because of the way most, not all, black females carry the "ghetto" way of life. This is very unattractive to men, black, white, Hispanic, it doesn't matter what the race is. A black woman that carries herself physically and mentally in a mature manner is very attractive. I know a few black women that are like this and they are very beautiful. The best thing about black women compared to white women is that they are very strong and independent, unlike most white women today. Personally, I would prefer a black woman today because of those qualities, I don't want a weak whiney woman that cannot take care of herself. I really don't understand why black males want white women, they are too much of a headache. I have noticed in the last 10-15 years, black woman have been making great strides to improve their physical appearance and it shows. They need to now focus on their mental appearance and shed the mindset of the ways of life they grew up in. Again, this is for the majority, there are a number of black women out there that choose not to act "ghetto" but they are few and far between. Black women and white men together in a relationship I think will lead to a very strong relationship in many ways. Both of which are career oriented and think along the lines of reason. White women and black men seem to derive most of there thought emotionally and "off the cuff" so to speak. Black women also need to show more desire in white men if that is what they want, at this time most respectful white men aren't actively open to the idea of having a black woman as there partner, but they can be persuaded. Hope this helps.

TheMajesticSea · Answer

im part black and I just want to say thank you for this question. I don't usually have a problem attracting the guys I want but I know it is an issue - narrow views on beauty and racism toward us. seriously though this question is astounding. I've never read so much anti-black women bashing and open racism in one place in a long time. bravo kids lol it really just shows you how far off we are from being the post racial utopia some people think we live in. racism is very real and in the hearts of many (dare I say most?) people who wouldn't usually admit to it in person. so that's why we have the internet :D

i think european standards of beauty and the degrading of african beauty is at the heart of it. its everywhere. nappy hair? fix it? darker skin? ew. p*rn allows men to examine womens bodies easier and see the image of sexiness being promoted I think. also racism in the form of stereotypes and cultural superiority come in. we are stereotyped as having certain attitudes, certain habits. traditional ideas on female submissiveness and docility also play a part and how many bw these days don't fit that mold. lots of things. ironically, white women with the same personality traits that are stereotyped as being common in bw won't be judged as harshly. its just reality I guess in a world build on racism.

YellowSidewalkChalk · Answer

oh good god. girl with your self esteem you really shouldn't have asked this question. I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I'm a black girl (half white though) and I went to predominantly white schools and I remember feeling the exact same way. once I learned more about our history in this country, racism, blacks in the media, etc. I started to love myself more because I understood things a bit better. I have dated several white guys but I'm not so foolish to think most of them are into black girls. a hell of a lot of them are not attracted to us.

you can see the racism in like half the answers on this page girl. that should speak loudly enough for you to understand that not everyone is on the same level mentally and ignorance is like a cancer pretty much killing one mind at a time when it comes to race and culture. do not obsess over this because it will break you. I know. the thing you have to accept is that there is virtually nothing you can do about it. just be yourself. sure, present yourself well enough but don't feel like every action has to be a direct contradiction to the stereotype held high for us. I'm very loud. I know this is a stereotype but its how I am and I'm not going to change that just because a bunch of ignoramuses think we are the loudest. if there aren't any white guys who like you for you then you'll just have to accept that. I'm sure one will though. almost all my black girl friends are or have dated white guys. no kidding. one of my black friends is obsessed with asian guys and dates them like crazy. I've seen it all really.

itstavia3 · Answer

I don't think this is a very educated question. I am a black girl and I've had nothing but white and latino boyfriends my whole life, all of them good looking. I'm told by all races that I'm beautiful and I'm not saying this out of conceit but because it's obviously not about my race with them. Some people who have posted before me said it has to do with personality and I agree. I'm not the typical black girl but if you listen to pop culture, black culture, hip hop culture, black men and women are conditioned to look for all the wrong things in a potential partner. It goes much deeper than that of course...

I see what you mean at the same time, one of my ex's who I just posted a question about ( link had a similar issue with me. He would tell me at the beginning of our relationship that none of his white friends had ever dated a black girl but 'no that never bothered him' and I excused it as him just being insecure about it because it's new... I just realized that there are some people who aren't cultured enough as children and therefore can't let go of preconceived notions, even if there heart is in it.

Idk if you are black or not, I don't know if you specified but if you wanna date outside of your race, pursue it with rash abandon. Not everyone is a negative prick so if you ever wanna talk, add me and message me.

heavennhoney · Answer

Frankly, I think you are generalizing by saying "Why is it that black girls are the most undesirable? There is ghetto in white girls, mexican girls, asian girls and so forth. Why because no one race is born with a silver spoon and is the epitomy of perfection.

You said you have self-esteem issues maybe that's it. I attended a high school where there were about 11 black girls and 9 black guys and for four years the issue of race never came up not with the black students. At school the pre dominant race was caucasian and hispanic but we all had fun and about 7 blacks started a "Black Student Union" and guess what there were more whites and hispanics who joined.

My mother taught and showed us that all people are equal. Start thinking of yourself as an equal and maybe you could go out on dates or get a boyfriend. Maybe others are seeing this self-hate in you.

I don't look at your question as about race...it appears to be about you, how you portray yourself, how you look at yourself, this is 2009...Someone mentioned Tyra and Oprah how hard do you think it was for them especially Oprah who is not beauty defined where would Oprah be if she looked in the mirror and said "Black women are ugly or undesirable" She would be right back in the south never leaving.

regular-guy · Answer

I think in general most people are attracted to people that look similar to themselves. Of course there are tons of exceptions, but as a general rule I think that holds. This probably holds true in terms of the way we act and the like also. I don't mean to stereotype all black people because I know there is a large diversity, but for many there is a distinctive black culture. For most people today I don't think it is a conscious racism, just that it is natural to be more attracted to people we see and think are the same as us.

You noted in your question and I think it is accurate that media portrayal of beauty standards has something to do with that--even black models seem to have more "white" characteristics (Tyra Banks, Vanessa Williams, Rihanna, etc.).

The marriage thing has a lot to do with history and policy that have led to single mothers being more common than among other racial groups. Under slavery marital unions were often broken up among slaves for business and other reasons. In more modern times the former welfare laws contributed to higher rates of single mothers. Up until welfare reform happened under Bill Clinton it was much more difficult for a family to obtain welfare assistance if there was a man in the house. And because of socioeconomic issues it was not uncommon that black men were not able to obtain and maintain high enough paying jobs to adequately support a family. These factors provided incentives against getting married.

I think the history of racism does also hold some sway as far as interracial marriages are concerned. Just two generations ago interracial marriages were strongly discouraged in many areas of the country. It takes at least 2-3 generations for those kinds of ideas to change.

If it means anything from a self-esteem point of view, I dated black girl and I find many black women very attractive. I would date more if I hadn't already met and married the love of my life (who happens to be hispanic).

palek · Answer

God made black women first, and made the rest outta what was left over! I'm a white guy, but I wouldn't even consider dating, or marrying, anyone but a black woman. Maybe I'm all wet, but I find in most black women a great amount of inner strength yet a certain unique sensitivity or vunerablility. It's hard to explain, but it's there in Aces. For what ever reason, I just feel more at ease, more comfortable, with black people in general. I'm one of only two white guys at my church of over 300, but I'm always treated as jan equal. Actually, I may get a little more attention, as folks don't want me to feel like a minority. LOL

eddiearmstrong · Answer

people date who they're comfortable with.i've never dated a black girl.in fact I've always dated white women and that's what I'm attracted to.blondes.blonde hair,soft looking white skin.a lot of  white guys are this way./and preference is NOT the same as racism.fools who claim that are just that..fools.i have nothing against black people ,male or female either one.but the groups I always hung with were white like myself.and by the way,current research ahows that even with interracial dating being more acceptable than it was 20 years ago,that most people still hang with their own,so to speak.most whites still hang with and date whites,blacks hang with and date blacks,etc..the media however,intentionally decieves people into believing that it's much much more common and almost predominantly that way..it's a misconception among many for that reason.and don't forget this  most important factor..most people date other people that are within their comfort zone.this is why white dates white,black dates black,etc(mostly)/ let me put this in caps ..PEOPLE DON'T DATE TO BE DIVERSE..that's not the reason most people date.so anyone that says stuff like "people that only date within their own race are narow minded or racist" remember to tell them that most people don't date to be diverse! those that do aren't as interested in dating as they are in being part of a diverse crowd.let me repeat that>>most people DO NOT  date for the reason of being diverse .since I've never dated anyone but white,i'd feel a tad bit awkward or shy dating a non white girl and I don't want that kind of feeling while on a date..i'm used to white girls..so that's what I date and that's what I'm attracted to so...

Cool-Relax · Answer

The posts you're seeing online about black women being unattractive are from people with extreme views who feel strongly enough about the matter to broadcast their opinions. The people who don't feel as strongly won't feel the need to post such things, which means you're rarely ever getting their side of the argument.

Plus, there are a lot of negative stereotypes about black women. I've heard plenty of people (including black women) say that black women have attitudes, and white women are more submissive--that's an insult to women of both races. The media doesn't do much to stop the stereotypes either.

But I'm white, and I live in a predominantly black area. I know plenty of really attractive black girls, and plenty who are in relationships. When I was in high school, the white kids mostly dated people from outside of school or each other since no one else really showed interest. In cases like that and the one you described at your school, I think it's a matter of being in the minority, and the minority just happens to be a particular race.

minnie-mouse1289 · Answer

Hey it's a big world out there and many men do like black women. I think most of it has to do with ignorance, who people where brought up around, values and stepping out of their comfort zone to not only date but understand and embrace another culture that may be so different from their own. I'm not the loud black girl people try to say black women are but who's to say we're loud they probably just talk too soft. It's mostly about how you see the world and what you were exposed to or taught. other than that it's up to men to date someone outside of their race. I think the whole comment someone made about bad attitude black women is all about their preference as a man and and what makes them a man and a woman a woman, gender roles. Some men like that attitude and see it as a challenge and a girl who stands up for herself. not like that but white society has almost always tried to make other women or white women look more attractive then us/any other culture. the fact is not all black women get married but that doesn't mean we aren't wanted, there are other issues of why we aren't married that are complicated. Don't let a society that is not dominated/run by you/people of your culture tell you you're not beautiful it jus doesn't make sense. It's their views not yours, odds are you'll get married just instill in the next black generation how beautiful they are and don't perpetuate feelings of inferiority. We need to be models and show our kids how beautiful they really are in a society that has only recently taken small steps to state that. Every culture is beautiful and you can't compare/contrast them because you just don't get the same from each. that's like comparing an apple and an orange now which one is better uhh they're different what do you like. America has promoted apple's more so are oranges nasty to all no are they uglier you can't compare based on anything sensible. Anyone who does sounds ignorant.

Margarita · Answer

Im Jamaican and White! I come from two different groups basically! And to me Black is beautiful! Everybody in this world is ghetto, acts rude, talks loud, doesn't matter what race you are! Just the fact because we in the media and they show us in public than we are more in display to the entire world, we stand out more with them booty shorts! I seen White people try to act Black! Asians tring to act ghetto! People trying to learn hip hop and rap, trying to dress is Black folks. If everybody thinks that we are negative than why everybody trying to be like us! Black girls are not unattractive! Every race has its negative side and its positive side! Nobody is perfect! You shouldn't have low self esteem! People that are racist these days is ridiculous! Some people think that we living a crazy life style and they don't want nothing to do with it! But not everybody Black woman is the same! Just like you can't say every white woman is so nice and has a great body! Never feel down girl! Be happy who you are! Because you are beautiful regardless your race! And you will meet a guy that appreciates you for who you are, and if he doesn't he was never worth it!

glowgirl3 · Answer

Don't believe that crap sweetheart! I am a black girl and I have dated outside of my race and inside of my race and every guy I've dated has thought that me and my friends were all beautiful. I even dated a white guy that had never dated a black girl before and he said his whole opinion on black women changed and we are still friends to this day! Yes, society dictates that black women are "less pretty" but I 100% disagree. What about the Angela Basset's and the Sanaa Lathan's or the Halle Berry's? Gorgeous black women! I could go on and on! This one black guy (and he is fine as all get up) that I've been seeing has dated white women, asian women, hispanic women you name it, and he told me that the only reason why a lot of men are intimidated by black women is because you have to come at us in a "real" way. Meaning, we usually see right through all the crap they try to give and so you have to come corrected. He said that's the fun part though because you do have to be on your A-game. Feel proud of who you are.I am not "ghetto" at all. I was raised by both parents in a suburbian home, went to college and am proud of who I am. I went to a mainly white college but white guys still talked to me because I exuded confidence. When you are confident and secure in your beauty ANY guy will want you. I think all women are beautiful (every race) and black women are in that list as well! Keep your head up sweetie! :-)

JBR1957 · Answer

Men don’t like masculine women. Yes there are masculine white women but not as many and those women deal with the same problem their alone. Men have adjusted to feminism their not marrying their taking what they want and moving on. My mother always said you get more of what you want with sugar then vinegar. Far to many women walk into the marriage market after years on the carousel with a laundry list of expectations men today laugh at that list. You run the clubs, tally high body counts and I the guy you passed on suddenly becomes a prospect? Why what made me special. Of course nothing really it’s just choices 1-3 the Chad’s and Tyrone’s of the world wanted nothing to do with domestication. Off to Joe Average the man you kicked sand in the face of he’s suddenly a prospect a 100k salary life in order. Well of course he is what else did he have to do while women motored through all the Chad’s out there and in some cases procreate with them. Joe to the rescue to raise Chad’s kid, pay your loans. No thank you

SacredX · Answer

It has A LOT to do with the media and what "white" America wants to see. White women are OFTEN on TV and viewed as the most beautiful, yet no one wants to see the "mixed" America for what it is. ALL women are beautiful and men just have a one tracked mind; what they see on TV is apparently what they like. Media often depicts the majority of black women as loud and obnoxious, when that is purely untrue. A BIG part of it is racist and part of it is what the media wants us to see. I always say never judge a book by its cover and just because you see one African-American woman act a certain horrible way you should not be that shallow and hateful to put every one in that category.

Everyone has a preference that's understandable, but there is a difference between that and just being ignorant. All these reviews about IQ, black women being ugly without addressing the TRUE matter at hand is racist. God has a special place for those people. He loves us all equally, why can't we do the same? Thank You

bioweapon154 · Answer

Its not like a black girl can't be attractive, its just that so many of them live in the ghettoest places with like huge black guys everywhere so concequencially they all act the same way from an outsiders perspective. There ain't a lot of variety although I know this isn't always the case. I know there exists some others who don't but... wait... I see that ad on your page for an afrocentered dating site. Does the woman in the top right corner have a shiner or is it just me? She honestly looks like she got in a fight with a door and lost. Okay well back to the real issue here. Sometimes it's also about superficial, like if I knock her up, then I'm going to have a half black kid and the kid might have some questions like how come I'm white and mommy is black. Some people want just a mini version of themselves. I actually understand this logic because back in the day when I dreamy of having a family, my kids all would look like me or close to me even colour wise. Guess prejudice still exists.

Nastassja · Answer

I hope you don't hate me for being honest but I have heard men who like the white features and are not interested in the African-American women say they do not care for the typical wide flat nose and kinky type of hair texture a lot of these women have.  Some do not care for anything other than really really light skin, stating that even olive-skinned women are not for them.  Some blame the loudness tendencies of these women.  But rarely have I heard a guy say it's about not liking Black people in general.  That is just my own experience.  When I go to a nail salon to get a pedicure and am surrounded by females that all have better legs than I do it's just crushing.  I just want to disappear or go somewhere and throw up.  I feel like the Vietnamese manicurists are talking about my ugly legs in their language.  It's hard to deal with the things we cannot change  in life, huh?  I personally have seen many really beautiful Black women with great cheek bones, athletic figures and lots of great muscle tone, as well as some very handsome Black men.  I always thought Jimi Hendrix, the Great (guitarist) was handsome.  It would also be interesting to see what he would have looked like with long hair braided or something like that.  I happen to have a light-olive-skinned boyfriend and have a thing for Italian/dark-haired tall athletic men with nice traps, flat stomachs and cute butts.  A guy with blond hair or red hair and freckles would never work with me.  I hope my answer helps in some way.  In the end, all there is is love (from "The Perfect Storm" movie).

malty · Answer

i think you should watch White Chicks to compare blond dumb bitches to african american girls who tend to say "I'M GONNA BUST YO MUTHAF()CKIN ASS", and see which one is more approachable and therefore more desirable xD

But yet, there are many black girls that are very beautiful and desirable in this industry.

Look at Halle Berry and Beyonce for example. They are beautiful, gorgeous and sexy women that men of all nationalities drool over.

I also think that Alicia Keys is very beautiful, but she is half white.

What do most of these women have in common? They have class.

Thanks to comedians and tv, the media has portrayed african american women to be ghetto, and unmannered people.

I believe that there are A LOT of intelligent, talented and or beautiful african american girls there, and if you let it shine through, you'll be very desirable.

Being black is not a factor in what men seeks as a partner. I've seen many black people hanging out with whites and having white boyfriends.

therefore I think its also based on the culture and who you hang out with. If you hang out with your own race, you are definitely going to date someone black. Chinese date chinese if chinese people is the only race they hang out with. However, if you mix with the whites, chances are very high that you will date a nice caucasian male.

Good luck

Anonymous · Answer

Most people like "sameness" so any features that are not the same are either a curiosity or disliked,...

The really crazy thing is that "skin color" isn't the big thing. You'll see white guys line up to go out with black girls that have more anglo features. (smaller noses, streight hair, smaller pouty mouths etc..) Which is why hollywood plastic surgeons love black actresses because they almsot always have something done. It's the "that's not like me" differences that tend to drive people off. Just google how many black actresses have had surgery to look more white..

right or wrong I think that's the norm for white guys, and as there's a larger pool of white guys population wise, there going to see out same-ness.

Personal opinion, I fall into that category I *like* small noses, small pouty lips, etc..

In fact (just my opinion) I think asian women beat black and white women all to heck in most cases beauty wise, but that actually IS my preference. I also admit that I love "different" I would love to find a black girlfriend that I thought was sexy as I think that dark/different colored skin IS sexy. But at the same time that would be me liking skin color as much as I don't like coarse hair per say... I love long luxurious soft flowing hair. So while I don't think I'm racist... I think I do have a phycial racial bias in what I consider attractive. (Japanese girls for me all the way)

Taylor415 · Answer

Here's the thing about  black girls.  I am a white male in my mid 20's and the reason I don't find black girls attractive is the lack of softness to their skin.  Especially, (and I'm not being obscene) is the vaginal area.  What most guys like is a nice, small, pink labia, and skin that is very smooth and feminine.  Also, black girls tend to have large aureoles which takes away from the "cuteness" of their breasts.  Also, in bed, they don't have that seductive, yet innocent gaze that is slightly understated in white girls or Latina girls when they reach orgasm.  They don't seem to have that "pouty" facial expression when it comes to visual flirtation.  I'm just being honest, but from almost everybody I've talked to, and I live in San Francisco, which has a very diverse population, black guys love white women, but are unlikely to get them unless they're rich, because of the intimidation factor.  If you look at Maxim magazine, (the most current issue, you will find that there are no black girls in the top 100 "Hometown Hotties"  Halle Berry is an exception because she has very smooth and light complexion, and had the softness of the skin.  It seems like the darker the skin, the less desirable black girls become, and that has to do with contrast of vaginal area, breasts, teeth and gums.  This may sound harsh, but it is what I have observed across the board.  I am in no way racist, most of the music I listen to is older R&B like Earth Wind & Fire and Kool & The Gang, Anita Baker, etc...

pezzonovante88 · Answer

Well, I don't really think its necessarily a 'racist' issue (for the most part), however, there are definitely some prejudices that affect attraction to not only black girls, but individuals of any visible minority or different ethnicity. Now, the media, in my opinion, is heavily responsible for this, but I think its also a simple matter of white guys, for instance, viewing black girls as semi-exotic and just different from them, and therefore they don't really consider them as partners. It seems as though people sort of tend to feel most comfortable with 'their own kind' so to speak, even though its just superficial.

Now also, as mentioned regarding the media, the 'black culture' in the west is often portrayed in a way that is very different and unattractive to guys who are not black. Obviously, not every black person is whatever the media tends to portray them as, but its just so often emphasized that it becomes difficult to ignore.

If one is interested in a long-term relationship, one usually considers the time in which you introduce your partner to your family. Often times, families are not so keen on approving on their child/sibling/whatever bringing someone home who is of a different ethnicity. Again, its just superficialities, but it is also reality to a great degree.

Finally, it can simply come down to plain old physical attraction. Some find porcelain white skinned people with very soft, feminine features most physically appealing, while others like dark, exotic looking people. Unfortunately, in my experience, most of my peers who are white tend to find African American woman attractive, on the whole. I can't explain why exactly, they just don't.

Anyway, there are also guys that do find black girls attractive and/or put very little stock into physicality anyway. There are also significant increases in the number biracial couples.

So good luck, and good post!

softballgirl · Answer

I know where you're coming from. I feel the same way. My school is just like yours and it is discouraging when we don't get recognition from men. And no, the media isn't helping one bit. Like only a small percentage of black women actually act like that. So why should we all have to suffer for their actions? You know? It's really frustrating. And then we have to hear that if we resembled celebrities then we wouldn't have any problems. Yeah they have natural beauty and everything, but if I had someone to do my hair and makeup everyday I would be looking fabulous as well lol. But still, why doesn't that statement apply to women of other races? Anyway to answer this question: I have no idea, but I personally believe that all people of color are attractive. I'm not saying it because I'm black, but I'm saying it because I think brown skin is beautiful. I don't have a problem with white people either because one, I'm half white and two, I'm attracted to white men as well, but I'm just saying.

juniorhawk · Answer

First of all I'm a Middle Eastern Australian and just bumped into your question.

I think you need to cheer up a bit and believe in yourself - be yourself and be proud of who you are and regarding your love life it's all about the right time and person and it will come to that whenever time ticks in ... please disregard some of the guys' offensive comments, I think it has a lot to do with the way American culture and stereotypes of different races that makes African American males more prone to inter-racially date than their female counterparts

Most white boys would feel insecure about their manhood with ethnic girls except for Asian girls that's another reason which is applicable more in American culture, in Europe for instance especially in non Anglo-Saxon countries, people with dark complexion of both sexes are as equally desired in relationships as their white counterparts.

I think US Media need to work on changing their stupid stereotype of black American being either Sports champs, MC's, war heroes , or else just losers and junkies

Grizzlybear · Answer

I'm sorry to hear that this has affected your self esteem, I would seriously encourage you to find your self worth in God's unconditional love for you.

I would also encourage you to re-think your assumptions of "racism" and understand "culturalism".

Black women that promote the negative stereotype of rude, stubborn, obnoxious behavior are why men tend to be more attracted to white and Asian women who culturally are less abrasive in relationships.

Also white people tend to shy away from having relationships with blacks due to the constant fear of the race card being played against them.

Most people don't have a racist bone in their body, however many cultural attitudes and behaviors from black culture do not translate well outside of black society, thus creating the illusion of "racism".

I would encourage you to not obsess over "being a black woman" and instead just focus on "being a woman" who is socially attractive, approachable and a joy to be around.

Best wishes and God bless.

Anonymous · Answer

Im not sure its all about skin colour I know some people may find this offensive and I don't want abuse so I will post anon but would like to point out I have dated black, white and asian men and have no physical or emotional dislike of any race...but ... some people I know have the belief that black girls are bigger "down there". I would not know whether than is true or not but if the stereotype of black guys being bigger and asian guys being smaller is true...ish... the same should logically be true of black and asian girls.

Many guys I have spoken to say they love dating asian women cause they are supposedly tight and apparently that's true of black guys and white women. I have never seen a black girl with an asian guy and I always wondered if that was why...

I personally found the asian stereotype to be true in my limited experience but I don't know if its true generally for woman... I think some people assume it is true and don't want to take the risk :S

I personally find dark skinned women beautiful and facially ... strikingly full of character

x

Anonymous · Answer

Black women are not all ugly, nor are they all the same. I do not believe that a majority of girls that are black that you encounter on a regular basis can define the entire black population of women and girls. Also, I think it is important to understand that a lot of the times that black girls are sarcastic people. Joking around, and what not is human nature, so the attitude thing can sometimes be a front. As for ghetto, I am still having some trouble trying to figure out the definition of that word, but who does not have their bad days when they look like crap, or just act dumb. Also, what needs to be considered is that not everyone can afford a certain living like others. I mention living condition, because that could sometimes be the reason for their style or personality. I think instead of assuming the worst because what you have seen, men should go out and get to know them and find out what is behind their assumptions. I do not think it is fair to one group of race that the ones that are seen as "GHETTO" can ultimately define the rest of the race/gender.

All races have their ugly girls, I don't think it is fair that just because a majority of black women are not seen as desirable to most men that they should be completely degraded as the " least likely" to be pursued. I think it is disgusting to degrade a race/gender's self esteem. I know people have their right to free speech, but sometimes I do not believe people think before they talk. It is such a shame that this world has become a place that is so superficial, and demanding! Why can't people just love without boundaries and fear being their ultimate reason of staying away from one group of people!

LLSweetK · Answer

It's a biological/mental thing. the color white is always identified with purity innocence youth ect. whereas dark is identified with aggressive, manly and sometimes even evil. Women tend to date guys darker than them, and men like women who are lighter than them. (not all the time, but mostly). Haven't you ever heard the expression from woman "I want someone tall dark and handsome" you've never heard LIGHT tall and handsome. It's just the way it is. Now, I'm not trying to be mean but not all guys look past attractive dark skinned girls. Ugly people are everywhere both light and dark. And maybe the guys who you're running into, aren't finding you unattractive simply because of your color, but maybe they just aren't attracted to you in general.  As a suggestion try using some of the techniques that the "lighter skinned" girls or white girls do, such as if your hair isn't already straighten, try doing that or using a relaxer, and if you don't use make-up, which I used to know many dark-skinned women who didn't use makeup and lipstick.  Furthermore it's been also known that black girls don't "go down" on their man, this is not always the case, but most of the times this is the case.

Anonymous · Answer

I think black girls are beautiful. They are curvy without being fat, like nice butt, lips, skin! I love hanging out with my black friends because they re so funny and crazy! They love to party and they can dance! Also, its true that they are more confident and proud than some other races. They are not affraid to defend themselves. In my opinion I think that the problem is that boys think that black girls are agressive, loud and trashy, its a stereotype from the gettho, but its not true! Some black girls are agressive loud and trashy and whatever you want but definetely not all! I guess its only because the exited ones caught poeple attention more than normal black girls loll those who don't scream =P

Maybe its because of the hair too, because the hair is very frizzy and short, or its not their true hair you know. Guys love soft hair.

I think its a very stupid reason but things are what they are... I hope one day black girls will be as popular as other girls because they deserve it =)

the best of luck with your white guy ;D

Sandara · Answer

I am half black and indian just to let you know. I just got done suffering the web on racial dating, since we had a talk in class about dating rates, dating skills, and how the world see us as a human beings dating. To me the media classify black women as loud, aggression, and ingorant. Black womens are the far most pretty boddies every. Sometimes black women are loud. But you have to remember most black women did not grow up in a stable house.

I believed its the eye of a human being to determined if black, white, indian, or asian even lation are pretty to them.To me it hurts my feelings knowing we are classify like this in some worlds. espically in candan more black womens or taking over with white guys its been proving a common fact. you have to remeber where you come from and where you acct, but its up to you to to act like a loud ad agression lack women.

Now from my perferences you seem like a stable black girl who is cute you are just surronding in a area where you seee a few black women dating.

Black women that are not loud and aggression are not show up simply becaue the way the world puts them down.

Myself I dated outself my race, I do hear a lot of comments about my dating from blacks and non-blacks.

DONT'T LET COMMETNS FROM THE MEDIA HURT YOU. BLACK WOMEN ARE APPRECAITE IT'S JUST THE WORLD SHOW THEM AS LOW DIRTY BLACK WOMEN. IF YOU FEEL THAT YOUR BODY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DATED OTHER COLOR THEN LET IT BE THAT WAY.

to me it make me sad how the world makes black women to classify. It a shame because kids at school don't really care about the dating race. ITS SAD THAT KIDS HAVE TO GROW KNOWING THERE A WORLD OUT THERE WHERE THEY CAN'T DATED BASED ON RACEIAL COMMENTS.

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing, they are beautiful, many dont even need make up. Im guessing you live in a white country where European looks are considered the best because. . . well its a white country. It'd be a bit weird if they were praising South African features which besides bigger lips (which is even not fully perfected cosmetically) isn't achievable for white women. Black girls are very sexy and tend to be extremely intelligent. . . well the ones I've met. Most men find black women attractive i think a lot are just too pussy to approach one or admit it because they think people will disapprove because its not whats in magazines. But i dont care, i like womanly women who express confidence and have great curves and a great mind with it and black women tend to have this package. Its really only white girls who think black girls are unattractive because it flatters them. Ill tell you one thing most of these girl bf's are wanking over black girls and checking them out on the streets.
Ever wonder why we've been pushing for white girls to be more like black girls, come on this big butt, dance like a Caribbean girl hype has lasted this long for a reason. Think about it.

mrsalibee · Answer

I am disgusted by the lack of education many people have on this board. I am Black, African American, I am intelligent, I am educated. I have a Bachelors Degree and I will soon have a Masters Degree. Black women are NOT the most undesirable women, we are the MOST desired. Sisters don't let mass media fool you and don't allow ignorance to deter you. Look at yourselves, bronze skin, dark eyes, full lips, wide hips, what's not desirable about being a real women. People are spending thousands of dollars to get those lips honey, we are born with them. We are truly unique, starting with our hair down to our bronze feet. No other woman on earth is like us and that should be celebrated. We come in all shades from the lightest to the most ebony. Our bone structure is amazing, strong and baby we are built to last. God made us and he didn't make any mistakes on us.

I have dated men of all races, half asian, black, white, Hispanic, arab, African I never had an issue attracting anyone. The DEVIL is a liar sisters don't believe the hype. There is NOTHING wrong with you...your nose is perfect, your hair is beautiful, your body is a blessing no matter the shape. Are you healthy? Are you strong? That's what matters. As far as our attitude...All women are emotional creatures and we all nag, we all get upset and most of us don't like the taste of BS. You can't say all black women have an attitude, for those who say we do..my question is what is it about you that attracts that kind of person?

People who aren't well traveled, well educated, make the most ignorant assumptions. You people don't know any better so you should crack open a book, take trip to Africa, and get to know people. Invite someone who is of African Ancestry over to your home, or matter of fact go hang out with a black person. Let me tell you, us sisters can really cook, come eat at my house. I bet by the time you leave your mind will be changed and your heart will be open. - Much Love!

pagingdrqueer · Answer

To answer your question though, its simple. Racism and misogyny. Don't let them fool you with nature talk. If their preferences were based solely on nature they'd be attracted to fertility, and on average black women are more fertile than white women. They'd be attracted to signs of said fertility, and guess what "tight" and "toned" don't really make the list. Fleshy wide hips would be where it's at. Skinny pushed as attractive is an invention of capitalism to sell diet pills and exercise equipment. It's a billion dollar industry. That is how most of our preferences our formed these days- the media. Stop fooling yourselves.

Now as far as personalities go, the sexism comes in to play more. Let me just be frank. Men are mentally/emotionally weak and fragile. . "Act like a lady" is code for "sugarcoat things and coddle me. Don't yell at me, my masculinity is so fragile that if you do I will feel broken. Even if I'm dead ass wrong, tell me with a smile." Nuts. What's interesting though is that they think black women aren't like that. We shouldn't be but most of us ARE. We are taught to coddle more than anyone else! (See the "ride or die" trope)

And for those black women who actually do say "I don't need a man" have every f*cking right to when 60% of us are sexually assaulted before we even reach 18 (These are the ones reported! I believe the number to be even higher just based on my family, friends, and classmates!) We absolutely do not need you when you sh*t on us like this. But see that's the thing. Men want to be needed. It goes back to needing you to be weak for them to feel strong. No denying it.

Yall can swallow this act more feminine bull if you want to. That's nothing but a tool to keep you oppressed, suppressed and depressed enough to take their sh*t. So what if we look angry. Stop raping and harassing us just for existing and maybe we wont! Try that before you tell us to be more pleasant a**holes!

pagingdrqueer · Answer

First of all Google black women. Then Google white women. White women being better looking is a lie. They're just so bland and many have skin like pigs lmao. Our skin not being soft is a lie. That's why white women shrivel up while we get carded at 50 (my mom still does) Black women having bigger p****** is a lie. Here, have a study   racehist.blogspot.c o m/2008/05/racial-differences-in-vaginal.html  (take out the spaces in com or you can just google black women smallest vaginas) Please never feel inferior to white women. They are dry. Literally and figuratively. They know it's true too that's why they gotta shove the idea that they're beautiful down everyone else's throat.  Black women are f***ing beautiful. Our hair when short reminds me of little flowers and buds. When long, like the trees. I feel like we  embody the beauty of nature more than anyone else.We are the essence of life. We are the origin of life. We are everything. White hair to me is like...idk stingy soggy ass noodles lmao. It's all about your perception. Work on decolonizing your mind before you start dating. Remind youself you're beautiful everyday. Spend time admiring other black women. Spend time around black women who don't try to diminish their blackness. It will help trust me :)

abana · Answer

Hola Everyone! Again, the White Illuminati controls the media! Commercials and Movies will use the Cream of the crop White Women like Sandra Bullock,Cindy Crawford,Heidi Klum,and Julie Roberts. Now these Casting Directors will never use women that look like that Illuminati Puppet(Lady GaGa),Gary Coleman's Ex-Wife or Widow(Shannon),Rosie O' Donnell,Beth Midler,and Madonna to sell Revlon or Covergirl. Why? Because then your mind can now view White Women as EQUAL in Beauty or Ugliness with other races.  When you use Biracial,Black,Hispanic, Asian,Blexican,Blasian,Native American,and East Indian that look like Stacey Dash,Gabrielle Union,Tyra Banks,Kimorra Lee Simmons,Paula Patton, Megan Goode,Tariji P.Henson, Halle Berry, Alicia Keys,Saana Lathan,Vivica A. Fox, Jada Pinkett-Smith,Eva Longeria,and J-Lo now the your mind can perceive that WOMEN of COLOR are just as Beautiful, and that SHATTERS THE MYTH now that White Women are the only Beautiful Ones!  I work in an White Agency that is mainly 95-98% AND DO TRUST AND BELIEVE White Women are just as GHETTO,LOW-Class,and Trashy! I am told that I am Beautiful or what is my background; like it is some type of compliment! In other words; if you have your own Hair Naturally,your own tan complexion Naturally, then that is considered Beautiful! But why come; you will never see Comedians making fun of White Women that wear HAIR EXTENSIONS,WEAVE,and WIGS? Because again, the ILLUMINATI Controlled Media wants you to think that ALL White Women have nice long straight hair naturally! WRONG! Start to use the GOOD Mind that the good LORD JESUS has blessed you to have!  Psalms 139:14 For I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Remeber: LOVE will always win over HATE!

Anonymous · Answer

I can rank what I find to turn me off about black women: 1. Attitude (Loud, annoying, rude) 2. Hair (I know you can't do anything about it, but it just turns me off, I like straight hair.) 3. Facial features (Regardless of attitude and hair, I find a lot of black women to have unattactive facial features, very wide noses, enormeous mouths, oversized lips, etc.) 4. And the fact that 80% of black women are obese doesn't help the case, makes 80% of black women automatically not desirable. 5. Eyes (I find completely black eyes to be rather boring, but not exactly a turn off, but not as turn on as e.g. blue/green/hazel eyes. But there are black women with lighter brown eyes, which can be attractive.) I know three of these are genetical, and can't be done anything about, but the main factor is the attitude. If a black woman acts "white," has NICELY straightened hair, good facial features (not enormeous mouths and teeth), is not morbidly obese and has lighter eyes, she could very well be my dream woman, the perfect 10. So I'm not by any means racist, if a black woman fullfils beforementioned criterias she can be extremely attractive, it's just that only a very small portion does. PS. I'm European, and where I live there are not a lot of black women, so part of my attraction to black women could be credited to the fact that black women are rather exotic to me, and that's a huge turn on. But if I were to live around black girls for an extended period, this exotic feel would probably go away, I don't know. But to those of you blaming it on the media, when I went to the US, I actually had higher expectations of black women from the media than I found to be true. So I don't think the media portrays black women as ugly, rather the opposite.

Anonymous · Answer

Well personally I'm a black female. I've definately had my share of people who placed me as unattractive  and ruined a bit of my esteem back in the day, based on race/skin color alone I just don't like to be judged by race I'm a -golden brown medium-dark color, but I can't control first impressions or ever lasting judgement of someones dislike of me for being black. I myself feel intimidated by dating men who are different races with light skin colors , because I think they will judge me for not being white enough, I always get nervous. I have a very light egyptian  mate who finds me very attractive, were are close- when I'm with him I just wish others wouldn't judge us for not being the same race, but with I'm with him race doesn't matter, what other people think doesn't matter- in the end whoever you love only matters nothing else ever will, just clothe yourself in love you will never regret it. I also like guys of all races (depends on that guy if I can relate to him or not), I've had crushes on about every race there is in the world by now ,you just gotta meet someone like yourself who sets race aside or for some other people care too much about race. And there are people everywhere in the world who will love you for who you are ya know.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a woman half black and half indian and now even the black guys try to go after other races of girls, they jus have a preconceived notion of how the black race is and just don't like how they look because they attribute that to the black race and also are jus plain ol' not attracted to it...as for the "personality" that is so often coming up that's a bunch of crap,i haven't seen a white girl yet who unless with a havard education or some other opportunity who can speek like me carry herself in the manner I do or think as I do, it is only because I'm young that I haven't reached my full potential, and please don't let the way I'm writing no mislead you it is only because I don't want to waste time, and this topic touches me deeply...because I study history I'm able to see the beauty of different cultures I think you should just embrace your ebony skin, ample figure, and thick lip, because it's just as beautiful as ivory skin, a slender figure and straight nose, you just need to wait for the guy who has the intelligence to see the rich quality of a woman, black or white

Oriento · Answer

Wow, I could write a book on this answer. However, I don't have a lot of time so I'll be brief. I'm 50 yo and of mixed background. I've been called Puerto Rican my whole life, but am not Hispanic or Latin at all. I've dated many women, and some were Black. I have to agree with a lot of guys here that it IS the attitude of the American Black woman which is the big turn-off and the "kiss-of-death" to the relationship. I was married to an American Black women, and had a son by her. I got divorced only after one year. Mostly because of her asinine attitude. I once dated one of the most beautiful African-American women I ever met. Skin was like silk, perfect hair, and a size four. When we would dress up and go out together, people would just gasp sometimes when they saw us because of how frigging awesome we looked. However, she was a lousy mother to her kids, was lazy, hated school, totally screwed up with the J.W. religion, the worst housekeeper I ever met, and the list just keeps on going from there. I could put up with a lot of that and I did. However one time when it came down to a very big decision I asked her to make. We had to leave an area where there was a lot of trouble starting, and I asked her to trust me because she was too wrapped up into the situation to think straight, and she didn't. She just gave me more of her screwed-up attitude. I knew then and there we could never stay together seriously, despite all of her flaws. I recently dated an American Black girl, who thought she was too good for me. She was a user, and only wanted material things. She never wanted to give, only take. It was her damn attitude that made me break it off with her. I met a Black African girl in Europe. She is amazing. A totally 180 degree shift in attitude from an American Black girl. Too much to get into here, but I have to say, and I'm serious, it is the attitude that keeps the men away from the American Black woman! Sorry, but you asked for the truth. Thanks for reading.

xxxxxxxxxx · Answer

im a white guy and I want to say that not all guys find black girls unattractive. I have noticed that a lot of my white friends disagree with me when I comment on a good looking black girl. but there are many who find black girls exotic and sexy. to answer your question, I think its a societal issue so maybe a socialogist could give you a better answer. it is my belief that the portrayal of black women in media has a negative affect on the subconscious of the majority. I notice that in commercials and movies there often is the one black friend in a group of white girls. I can say this though, black girls are known for their veluprious lips, big juicey bootys, and sexy dark skin and there are a lot of guys who find that attractive. also bare in mind that not all white girls are attractive either. I'm sure that you will meet many men who will appreciate your beauty and I think eventually society will mature past this.  p.s. I stumbled on this site when I googled pretty black girls. we are out there

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