Why are black girls the least desirable? (Page 3)
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I may not be a guy, but as a young black woman all I want to say to you is the only people worth your time are the people who accept you for who you are as a person.I have struggled with the same but now that I am almost twenty I see the beauty in all cultures and ethnicities. Remember, you don't wake up very morning to impress people, so they don't matter. Once you go to college, you'll be exposed to more diversity which will definitely be good for you. I went to a predominantly white school but had no problems. I dated white, Asian and black boys and had many friends of different races. It all depends on where you are what you'll experience will be.
I've learned that we are made in God's image, so if someone doesn't like your sun kissed skin, or hair that reaches up to the heavens in tight curls, or full lips, then them and their preferences can kick rocks and you keep you pretty head held high. If they have a problem with who you are, it is not your problems, tell them that is between them and God. One thing a lot of my guy friends say they like in any woman,especially black women are the ones who are confident (not condescending), who take good care of themselves and are just geniunely good people. And whether they want to wear their hair naturally or not is a personal choice and fine with them. Don't go looking for others to accept you. People who truly like you for who you are will find you. I think all women are gorgeous and the media has this ill way of making women feel that we are not adequate and they always change their mind on what's in style. None of these things matter. Be good to yourself and others and you will be blessed. I say when its time to go to college whether you chose an HBCU (like myself) or not, anywhere you go there will be diversity and more opportunities to grow as an individual. So don't be discouraged relying on man to give you confidence, relying on man gives nothing but disappointment. So remember love yourself and the body God gave you and keep your head held high because you are a diamond and don't you ever forget that. As I have always been told "God DOES NOT make junk"
After reading through the whole page, I'm starting to think the problem is with your personality rather than your race.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juK7-QWn4R8Yes, racism exists. There have definitely been more than a handful of "I'm not racist, but..." toolbag responses to your question. But whether you want to admit it or not, PREFERENCES DO EXIST. Some people happen to find fairer skin more aesthetically pleasing than darker skin, the same way that some people prefer blondes to brunettes. You're correct in that some people use "preferences" as a cover-up for racist mentality, as demonstrated by some of the answers, but some people really honestly prefer a certain skin color, and even race-specific physical characteristics from a purely aesthetic standpoint. I, for instance, like fair-skinned Latinos the best, but I also like Indians, Asians, white, black, you name it. No discrimination, just personal taste.
The difference, for me:
RACIST: "I would never date X because [insert stereotype here]."
NOT RACIST: "I'm open to dating X if I find a person of X race attractive, but I generally prefer Y."
Stop conflating the two.
Reading your responses to the answers given, to me you seem very narrow-minded and combative, quick to point the finger and yell "racist" and alienate someone who probably would have been open otherwise. It's off-putting. If I were a guy, you could look like Heidi Klum and I still wouldn't want to seriously date you if you had an abrasive personality like that. I recommend Jay Smooth's approach on how to tell people they sound racist:
I agree with one of the guys' answers above: race is only one part of you. It's up to YOU to decide how much it limits the rest of your life. And while I think your combative approach to the situation is not helping your cause, it's a small matter compared to your self-esteem problem. You display quite the persecution complex and a very self-defeating attitude, and nobody's going to find that attractive, whether or not you're black. You need to stop using your race as an excuse for why boys are not asking you out. It's a crutch. Maybe boys are intimidated by you, but would be happy if you were the one who approached them.
Chin up, smile, believe in yourself and your worthiness. Again, racism exists and it WILL limit your options, let's not lie here, but if you exude confidence, beauty and kindness, men of any race will notice that and will line up at your door. I'm Filipino, I've had to deal with that racism too, but I stood tall and didn't let my race define me, so I have no problem getting guys. And beautiful, confident black women have no problem getting guys either. Just look at Hollywood couples like Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, Iman and David Bowie. It's not like men will turn their noses at gorgeous black women like Gabrielle Union or Sanaa Lathan or Ashanti just because they're black! Come on now. It's all about attitude, and the way you present yourself.
I'm not racists, I have white friends (lol).
Some "generalizations" about White American Men and the real reasons why "Black Women" won't date them.
You resemble apes more than any other race. With your disgusting hair problems, I mean who wants to date someone with greasy, oily hair coming out of every crack and crevice. Nose, ears, behind, it's everywhere, complete turn off. You are clearly decended from the apes you claim to have evolved from (I think it is more like de-evolved).You act like uncivilized apes everywhere you go. The whole world is disgusted by White Americans. Everywhere you go you destroy the economy and culture. You're filthy ways are the precursor to some of the worst disease epidemics to plague the human race. Your perversions are insatiable you are unable to have normal relations with a woman. Pornography and other sick diversions were made for you. Bottom line the real apes.
Small penises... I believe a lot of the problems with sex white men have are directly related to their false legislated superiority. White men are behind the statistics concerning penis size, their research pools consist mainly of white men and maybe a few tiny Asian men to round it out. Therefore you get the average 3-5 inch penis of the White man. Size matters.
White men are ignorant, and down right stupid. No original thoughts. I had a white boy tell me that Travon Martin's shooting was justified because he shouldn't have been walking in that neighborhood. White people are not the most intelligent in the world by far. This is demonstrated in their need to fudge the data in every aspect to perpetuate their false superiority. Their only strength is in numbers in America, not intelligence. The Good Old Boy system is their only salvation. Hence their need to suppress and demonize other races for their own survival. 85% of the world is non-white people. They will soon fizzle out on their own.
Disgusting inbreeding. Black women never want to compromise their superior gene pool by watering it down with inbreed white genes. Thus her continued attraction and affliation with delicious virile black men. Just look at the races with the most deformed, handi-capped, retarded children. You only see this in large degree in white America.
Most white men are fuugggglllyyyy. They have to work real hard just to be barely presentable. What is it with white men's naturally flabby bodies ewwww, white men have disgusting bodies and age prematurely (poor genes). Being blunt the majority of white men HAVE to pay for it...
They are mean, vicious, cowards, effeminate, scarey, creepy, disgusting. Truly fat, lazy, and stupid. Their Ghetto counterparts are mearly mirroring what they learned from them. Whites lack morality and will do anything to advance their own agenda.
Unless he is far outside of the norm a white man is not worth dating. The proof is in the answers given to a child in the previous posts. Having all descended from the same two people race is a false construct.
There are some good white men out there. I just hate when white people called blacks apes so I HAVE to give them the business because I'm pretty sure apes and monkeys have white skin under that brown and black HAIR that is naturally straight and thin, and last time I checked apes and monkeys have pretty thin lips. So just remember that next time someone ignorant comes along trying to bring you down just shoot that at them, smile and walk away because what they have to say after does not matter
This is the best comment here.
OK, you want honesty? First off, black girls are very rough around the edges--physically and mentally. A vast majority of black females are "thick" and heavy. Ladies, there's a difference between being curvy and just being plain fat. And just because you have a "big" butt does not mean it is attractive. There's a difference between a full, tone butt and just a big fat butt. I also understand that black hair is way different than other race's hair--just the physical nature of it which cannot be controlled. So then black girls style their hair via weaves, dreads, or just extremely short. I'm sorry, I like hair that is long, flowing and radiant--so hair is a major turn off for me when it comes to black girls. And I realize nothing can be done about it. Also, no offense, but some of the facial features of black girls are just rough and some guys find it hard to get past that.
But see, the physical characteristics that turn me off wouldn't be such a turnoff if black girls were more polite, and (how do I say this?) quiet. I mean there is a line between loquacious/friendly and flat out obnoxious. No one wants to hear your mastery of ebonics in the loudest manner possible. I think ebonics is a way for black people to somehow retain some cultural identity (which is fine) and it might sound cool to them, but trust me, it does not sound good to the casual white guy. The ghetto sound is weird. And, honestly, the attitude of some black girls is what really gets me. They seem to always be into drama. They always seem to have something negative to say. When talking with black girls, it's sometimes hard to tell if they are serious or if they are joking. It's alright for them to use questionable language and phrases, but not alright for anyone else.
Long story short, if you are a black girl and desire a normal white guy, you might want to try to look white and act white. I know that sounds terribly insensitive, but that's the way I see it. I wouldn't worry about it though. You are what you are and it shouldn't be a hinderance to your self-esteem (coming from a ginger). Go out and do what you want with who you want and don't worry. Happiness is most desirable.
Wow dude, you couldn't have nailed it more! Exactly what I think as well
wtf does act white mean? are you saying that white people are the only ones who knoe how to talk "normal" as you say? Your're pretty much saying that white people are the superior race and carrying on a 1950's mentality, not only towards black people, but all races of the world.
Hi. I'm a black girl and I did read everything you've said.. I didn't get mad or anything cause honnestly its the truth. You couldn't say it better. You were just so right and you're free to have your opinion. But seriously everything said was real and understandable. That was exactly that. Some girls are extremely loud rude, always in drama etc. and I agree it can be annoying. But for the hair and stuff, there's nothing we can do lol. Anyway, everyones beautiful in their own way k, black or not. x
First of all, stop stereotyping. Not every black girl or black person talks in "ebonics" as you say. And black people are not the only ones who are capable of acting ignorant. And talking proper does not equate to "talking white", contrary to your belief.
you're generalizing, you're entitled to your opinion. but you are coming off very ignorant by stereotyping black women as being impolite and loud. you said black women always have something negative to say, your comments indicate that you have nothing positive to say either and you come off as if you have an attitude yourself. just so you know.
I don't know why this stood out to me, but when you said, "full, toned butt?" Compared to a "big, fat butt?" Really? BLACK GIRLS ARE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH BIG FAT BUTTS? A toned butt is not something natural, so of course no one would have it unless they worked on it. The ignorance all throughout your statement. PLEASE.
I am a Black woman, 31, and currently finishing my THIRD degree. I speak a few languages; I'm an entrepreneur, come from a WONDERFUL family, have no children, NO abortions, NO STDs (ever), or the like. I'm also attractive. Gorgeous & educated White men, Chaldean men, mixed race men, and of course, Black men have hit on me. I am brown-skin (not light at all), NOT slim (I'm actually quite curvy, size 14) and I don't have long hair. I don't wear weaves, long nails, fake eyelashes, or trashy apparel. I DO have delicate features, but I DON'T fit the Halle Berry/Beyonce standard of "Black beauty", yet I do quite fine attracting guys. I guess you could call me average. Like many women, I'm single because I chose education & travel first.
There are SO many Black women that I know like me it's astounding. We laugh when we read these remarks. It shows how little you get out and how unaware you really are. Most likely, you grew up in White neighborhoods with a low Black population OR you're among the percent that lived in the hood and can only judge our entire group by those who fit your stereotype (true, it does exist). However, I grew up in an area, 84% White, and went to mostly White schools where the Black girls were most always popular. Now I live in a predominately Black middle-class neighborhood and you wouldn't believe how many times I've had Whites (and city Blacks) say to me..."This is a BLACK neighborhood?" As if clean, mild-mannered Blacks don't exist. Bottom line is, if your the average American you've never been to my neighborhood or the countless "hidden" middle-class Black neighborhoods like mine to even realize there are women like me.
If you don't like Black women because you just flat out aren't attracted to us and think we are universally ugly, well then that's fine! I have no gripes with that. But when you say it's because MOST, if not ALL Black women are loud, low-class, ugly, manly, diseased ridden humans...well I have a problem with that. None of you know that many Black women to judge. At most I know 200 Black women from my close circle (school, church, work) where 90% fit my description. So how can YOU, who may not know nearly as many as I do, say we are all the same?
I've probably lived around more White people then any of you have around Blacks. I could seriously throw stones at White chicks. Reality television showing White girls as whorish, trashy, sailor-mouthed gold-diggers, lines up quite well with the girls I've seen in MY high school and/or college. Many of the "White-washed" Asian girls didn't fare too well either. But to say MOST White or Asian women in the U.S. act like heathens would just be silly because I can't assume my small group experiences reflect the behaviors of an entire group of women.
BTW, are you guys seriously saying there aren't big manly looking White women with angular/strong features? Seriously? I call your bluff on that. Each group has their armpits of society.
Hi
I'd like to introduce myself as a 35 year old Afro-Carribean woman living in the UK. I've read a lot of really strange stuff on here, apart from the gentlemen who said he was 33, I think the opinions and responses clearly show immaturity. What are you going to do with the plethora of information. Some of it you may feel encouraging, some of it is bound to make you despair. However, ultimately, taken as a whole nothing about it will really make you feel great. The fault, however, isn’t in any of the answers. The fault lies in asking the question to begin with. The bottom line is that if you're looking to raise your self esteem asking others what they think of you, i.e. will inviting judgement (!) on you, is not the way to go about it.
I was raised in an all white area, went to an all white school, as a top student I then went on to a top 3 university where I did my under-grad and post-grad studies, again this was predominantly a white institution. I have a very successful career working at the heart of London's banking industry, again a profession dominated by white men. I never had a boyfriend at school, and, yes, I was focussing on my studies, but trust me, I wanted to have a boyfriend, really really wanted one. All my friends had one and I just couldn’t understand what I didn’t. Fast forward 20 years and I have only two relationships, or rather dalliances. My white female counterparts on the other hand have marriages and children and tales of wonderful relationships past and present. I always had really low interest from white men which is a problem considering most of my life has been amongst them ;-)
It took me a long time to really understand what was happening and more importantly WHY. As human beings the nature of attraction is very simple. We are attracted to that with which we are familiar, that which we have grown up with. If you are a Black women raised in a white area, then you will be attracted to white men, perhaps exclusively. However, the same is true of the men that you encounter, they also grew up in white areas and their predominant experience will be of white females, which they will be attracted to if not exclusively, then in the main. You can't re-write social conditioning like this. Ideas of beauty are learnt very early and then embedded. Don’t just think about it in terms of colour, the same is also true of social class. The middle classes tend to stick to the middle classes, the same for the upper, the same for the working. We are just attracted to what we know. When are unfamiliar with an individual, there is where that ugly word creeps in, we call it “exotic”. “Exotic” is unknown and therefore seen as subversive and dangerous. Who on earth wants to be seen as subversive when all they want is to be truly loved?
You need to let all of this go now before it becomes destructive to your life. If a white male approaches, then good for him, but you aren’t holding out for one.
@Anonymous, such a good answer, thank you for your observations and honesty. I'm in the same age group and can relate.
Don't pay attention to the "sewer rat" forums where the participants dis people. That is a favorite sport of the insecure immature and everyone knows it.
I am a white man and I think that it is mostly a peer pressure thing to overlook black girls. In any group of white guys I've been in, it seems that there are one or two that are rather racist and they always seem to be vocal and at least marginally bullying about it. They make it unpleasant enough that it seems not worth it to consider to "cross the color line." Then, there is the potential problem with her friends and relatives.
Black guys seem to hang together and have their own "culture" of speech, music and so on. It is difficult for any young man today to get a career going, or even a decent job. (I have two sons. The oldest at 26 is just starting to get somewhere.) More so for black guys. Many seem to have little or no prospect to support a woman and children.
Some obviously prefer white women, their boldness giving them an advantage with lonely women. I honestly suspect that part of that stems from a desire to "get back at whitey." But, one thing is certain, mixed race people tend to be special people, and if we all mixed races, we would all be a brown, happier bunch of people: no racism!
The black girl who tries to engage another person even once per day over some sort of "current event" (something of interest that just happened), or anything else that might be of common interest, will find her life changing for the better, slowly at first. I doesn't matter who the other person is, but include a boy or white person once in a while. Don't do too much smiling at first.
Also, some boys are not really at home approaching girls, as is well known. I didn't marry until I was 39. So, it all adds up to difficulty unless you have that special gift at hooking up with someone. Don't forget that many of the people that you see so easily getting married ... that's the beginning of their problems.
There are plenty of white girls and women who are not attractive. That's why one who is gets so much attention. It's the same with black girls, from what I can see. I've seen some that it was hard not to stare. But, that's the part that's only for looks. A woman should not want a guy who considers looks too heavily, Being that shallow, when he finds one he thinks he likes better, he'll leave, marriage or not.
I never went against the grain of my own personality makeup. They say, 'Be yourself.' But, sometimes, you have to "be someone else," you have to change and start joining groups, learning how to speak at Toastmasters, learning how to dance, etc., even if it's more "work" than you really want to do. You can do these things without "putting your head on the chopping block," so to speak. And, you don't need to be Sanaa Lathan, either. (Check out her movie, "Something New" if you can.)
First off as a black woman you shouldn't feel less desirable or less of a person because of your skin color. Clearly being in a predominantly "white school" is not good for your "mental stability" if these are the type of feelings that result from them. Yes White people go around with an "invisible knapsack of privilege because "whites" control mostly everything and always have and with that privilege comes a certain expectation and ideas on who is not desirable because of skin color or "colorful attitudes". I also agree that a stigma is placed on black women and since we live in a predominantly "white male" culture/country, it's been this way for eons. I find it interesting however that even though white, black and other male races mostly prefer white women, "white women" nowadays are the ones who are lacking in the reproducing area. Not really a shocker when even in the media most "white women" and families coddle their kids to the point where it gets out of hand and they have disrespectful kids with nasty attitudes that in most cases turn out to be serial killers and very psychologically screwed up.
In reality most guys lay "attitude" as an excuse for why black women are the least preferred when "all" black women are not the same and judging someone by what you've seen or heard(ghetto black females) is not only judgmental but stereotypical and shows great ignorance. The best thing to do in my opinion which I aim to do is to travel and broaden my horizons because there are way more open minded decent people in other countries who aren't overly shallow and just because some guys in America even black ones lack the foresight to be interested in black women, there are definitely other cultures that welcome and prefer black women. Most black women are strong and won't put up with a lot of crap from guys and if that makes some of us undesirable then we're better off without shallow males in this country that prefer insipid and whiny women. Besides being in a country full of narrow minded people, it all boils down to institutional RACISM, at least back in the day it was right out there for people to see but now its behind the scenes, but hey, this is the land of America. Technology infused opinions between the ant and the boot!
And of course for you males who take offense and feel I am a black woman who is clearly ranting, nothing could be further from the truth and it's obvious what side of the road you stand on. The truth is ugly and it's far better to not insinuate oneself in the midst of a crowd that makes you feel "less of a person" no matter what the cost is.
OK I KNOW THAT I AM LATE ON THIS TOPIC BUT THIS IS JUST SOMETHING THAT I FEEL THAT I NEED TO ADDRESS FIRST OF ALL I AM A BLACK GRIL AND THE THINGS THAT WERE SAID ABOUT BLACK WOMEN ON HERE WERE FIRST OF ALL CRUEL, SICKENING, DISGUSTING, IGNORANT AND NOT TRUE. THE REASON WHY THEY FEEL THIS WAY IS BECAUSE ALL THEIR LIVES, I CAN TELL THAT THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED TO BLACK WOMEN THEY ONLY GO BY WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MEDIA AND THESE PEOPLE ARE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN. A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE ON HERE ESP THE WHITE MEN WHO COMMENTED ON HERE SOUND LIKE UNDERCOVER RACISTS WHO USE SCIENTIFIC RACISM AGAINST BLACK WOMEN IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY THEIR RACISM AGAINST BLACK WOMEN. THAT IS DANGEROUS BECAUSE IT GAVE BIRTH TO THE EUGENICS MOVEMENT AND THIS WAS USED AGAINST THE JEWS DURING THE HOLOCAUST IN ORDER TO PURFIY THE WHITE RACE AND ELIMIATE ALL THE "UNDESIRBLES" AND IN THIS CASE THE "UNDESIRBLES" ARE BLACK WOMEN. I AM A BLACK GIRL AND I NEVER LIKED WHITE MEN FOR THIS REASON BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE RACIST AND HAVE VERY NEGATIVE VIEWS ABOUT BLACK WOMEN AS YOU CAN SEE HERE. I ONLY PREFER BLACK AND LATINO MEN. PERIOD. AMERICA VERY NARROWMINDED WHEN IN COMES TO BEAUTY AND ONLY PRAISE WHITE FEATURES THAN BLACK FEATURES. EVEN BLACK AMERICAN MEN ARE BRAINWASHED AND FALL INTO THIS HYPE AND ARE JUST AS RACIST AS THE WHITE MEN POSTING ON THIS THREAD. AND THE WOMEN POSTING RACIST ANSWERS ON THIS THREAD HAVE A SUPERIOTY COMPLEX WHEN IT COMES TO BLACK WOMEN AND THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN US. BUT, IF YOUR GOING TO GET A MAN, GO FOR PUERTO RICAN, DOMINICAN, OR AFRICAN BLACK MEN OR MEN FROM THE CARRIBBEAN OR LATIN AMERICA. BLACK WOMEN ARE OF AN ABUDANCE OVER THERE AND THEIR FEATURES ARE PRAISED AND SHOWN IN THE MEDIA ALL THE TIME AND THEY DONT HAVE THAT IGNORANT, BRAINWASHED, RACIST ATTIUDE THAT AMERICANS HAVE AGAINST BLACKS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DONT LET THESE IGNORANT, FOOLISH, RACIST PEOPLE GET TO YOU. MOST OF THEM HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED TO BLACK WOMEN OR TALKED TO ONE BEFORE AND HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF BLACK AMERICAN CULTURE BECAUSE ALL THEIR LIVES THEY HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THEIR LITTLE BUBBLE WITH LITTLE EXPOSRE TO CULTURAL DIVERSITY AND THIS TYPE OF THINKING BREEDS RACIST THOUGHTS SO JUST IGNORE THEM.
you seriously need therapy.as I said before,i date within my own race due to preference.i feel comfortable dating what I've always dated.white girls.this doesn't mean I dislike or hate black people.people like you turn preference into something it's not.oyu're a troll and have some kind of racist problem yourself.it's funny really.you're a racist screaming that whitey is a racist.one of my best friends of 12 years is black but I don't date black girls.so I'm racist?you're a nimrod you troll.
First of all, I wasn't even talking about you. I was just addressing the racism and hate on this message towards Black women which is racist and wrong. I don't give a darn about your preferenace I don't even like White boys so you can date whomever White woman you want cause I'm not going to be looking at you. And just because somebody has Black friends doesn't mean nothing to me. George Zimmer had Black friends but that didn't stop him from killing a Black person.
personally I find them very attractive, the thing is they seem to be the most isolated group of females, except for the "white washed" ones they usually hang out in their own posse, although they are obviously exceptions , they don't usually venture out of their comfort zone, they wait to be approached by guys instead of approaching them themselves, and if they do , usually only black guys, and the media usually portrays them in a bad light, they are either they crazy ghetto fabulous chicks on the news or they are music video groupies, american media at least european media is a little different with a lot more innterracial dating, me personally I find all ethinicites beautiful, even had a stage where I had a stronger interest in black women , to me gabrielle union and leona lewis are the most beautiful girls in the world, but yea at the end of the day, looking past social stigmas, if a black girl is cute and level headed then most of the time she's going to be considered a hottie, but that doesn't mean that all black women have to be beautfiul, ethnicity doesn't come into play in beauty
I love white guys like you, Not because you like black girls but you know have a better understanding of things and you are in touch with your self and you know why you feel the way you do about black womenunlike these men with all the crazy weird excuses for not liking Black girls like hair texture and vagina color! they are just insecure men and have issues. I would rather respect someone that's outright racist that a self hating person that has no real explanation for feeling the way they do.
First, no one can lower your self esteem. You chose to lower your self esteem. Self esteem is a choice. You can chose to let the thoughts and ideas of others bother you, or you can chose to rise above it.
Second, marriage rates say nothing about attractiveness. They're separate issues. Attractive does not automatically equal married any more than intelligent automatically equals a college degree.
Third, you seem to see yourself as unattractive, and you're looking for validation of that opinion. Guys will write "Black girls have features X,Y and Z that I don't care for." And you'll think, "I have X and Z, my life is over!"
Fourth, stop comparing yourself to others. Virtually every woman I know is insecure because she compares herself to other girls. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
Fifth, stop looking for confirmation of racism. It's not a healthy way to spend your time. I had two Asian friends in high school. One thought he couldn't get a date because girls in our mostly white school were racist. The other Asian guy had more sex than anyone I've ever known. If one Chinese guy can get laid by a dozen white girls a year, it proves that race alone had nothing to do with the other guy's lacking love life. Race is only one part of you.
Sixth,Asking "Why are black girls the least desirable (for non black guys)" presupposes many questionable or erroneous givens. In short, I think your question is logically flawed.
Seventh, there's nothing about black girls in general that I find inherently unattractive, just as there's nothing in any other race that I find inherently attractive. I think some black girls are incredibly attractive and sexy. Some I'm neutral towards. Others turn me off. But to me, them as an _individual_ is what matters.
LOVE this respose this girl need to give her head a shake
Best answer!!!
This is every idea I have...
Great write!!!
Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
ABSOLUTELY. Best response.
Most of the guys who posted are being honest but I have to say they are making it very clear how shallow they are. A woman's spirit and character SHOULD be what makes them attractive but in THIS country that's just not the case. America is the most neurotic and psychologically twisted country in the world so I'm not surprised they are as hung up on looks as they are on age, race and all things sexual.
Black women are simply not viewed the same way in Europe for instance, I know I've been there about 13 times and always feel like a woman first and also an attractive one, NOT HERE.
Because of this crazy bias in this country white women get away with all kinds of behavior that black women only get criticized for. Drunkenness (girls gone wild videos), Manipulative behavior ("smart" if you're white, "devious" if you're black), gold diggers (white women wrote the book on this but black women are called this if they even TRY to make sure the man they're with has a job. White women are the only women on the planet that will have sex with ANIMALS on internet p*rn but black women get sh*t for being prostitutes out of desperation.
Which brings me to my last point. If all you guys out there say you don't find black women attractive and you won't date them - hell, you won't even just be FRIENDS and walk down the street with them - do you really think this won't affect your decision making in a job interview setting? Of course it will. You think it's an accident that black women have a hard time finding work when it's been documented that on a national level they have been graduating from universities in steadily growing record numbers since the 80's?
Not to mention the "welfare queen" status black women get all the time. Not only are most welfare recipients white women (17-24) but there are millions of white women (and men) with mental disorders like depression, schizophrenia, autism, bipolar, manic depression, OCD, the list goes on...and they are almost always on DISABILITY! That's very much like welfare and we are all paying for it while these people stay at home and turn light switches off and on for 6 hours a day.
Let me start out by saying that I'm a mutt of mostly Western European and Hispanic, and I find black girls attractive, and I've had 2 black girlfriends.
Anyway, my explanation for why some non-blacks view black women as "less desirable" would be because they perceive the following to be true:
- A large percentage of blacks, and thus black women, are "ghetto." While there are more whites who are poor and "trashy/ghetto" than blacks in the US, the RATIO of ghetto to non-ghetto is far higher among blacks than any other demographic (because there are far more whites than blacks in the US). They don't like "ghetto" anything, and blacks are more likely to be that way.
- Part of the "ghetto" issue is that promiscuity is far higher in such cultures, which is a negative to people who didn't grow up with ghetto values.
- Many people grew up in very homogeneous neighborhoods, and so they aren't used to being around blacks, or anyone very different from their own race. Thus, their standards of beauty reflect what they are most familiar and comfortable with. Dark skin, kinky hair, and exaggerated curves seem out of place to them, simply because they aren't used to it. Similarly, a white American will look very out of place in Japan, for the same reason (very homogeneous).
- Many whites are afraid that if they try to date black women, black men will get angry and become violent with them, which does sometimes happen.
- Black culture can be quite different from white culture, and many people may think they just won't have enough in common to date. They may not date others who have/maintain a strong, separate culture either.
- Some are simply racist.
You'll never win over everyone, but IMO, if you present yourself as a person of respect and integrity, and let people get to know your personality, I think you'll overcome most of the people who initially are skeptical or wary.
There's a lot of truth in this answer, I think. I really like that you avoid to over-generalize.
Im black but i find black girls undesirable. Part of the reasons has to do with intellect compared to most other white girls.. but the main reason is... WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE in the right mind have an attraction for something that looks exactly like them.. same reason wnhy more white men are going for Asians, or white girls going for black.. it's just because same on colors become mundane and boring after a while when you've got a whole lot of other options that brings versatility into the relationship. IN all honest truths however black girls are seemingly usually the least desireable even among bblakc men. Reason why most black men end up with black women is because thats what they are used to or they know they won't have a chance with any of ther race.. no offense lol. But in conclusion i believe there's everyone for everyone, all you have to do is seek in the right direction.. Black women are most certainly not the ugliest women in the world
@Mrpsychic - Wow, you must be a black ugly negro. I feel so sorry for you. Being with a white woman will not make you white. You don't know black men who are even interested in black women. This is why the white man treats black with such disdain. You don;t even respect the women of your race. dumb ass.
The world has become an awful sh*t show in some aspects and you shouldn't let it get to you...trust me. I'm african and I have heard it all. Dark skin just has a baddd rap. Media and overall ignorance is to blame.I think it's awful to watch shows( that project a very stereotypical black character)and then base your opinions of AAs off of that. Just like it's ignorant to live in a small town and say,"The couple of black people I came across had attitudes and now I'm just not attracted to black girls. Personalities are based on so many factors..environment,life experiences etc..and that goes for everyone of every race. Then you have those who talk about the way we LOOK. They don't like our boobs,butts,noses,skin color etc. Fine.Thats your preference. But the irony is
natural dark skin gets a thumbs down,meanwhile folks are roasting in the sun to become DARKER. Only to know that their skin is going to become permanently damaged as they age but who cares eh? Folks are flocking to the doc to get collagen injections to make their lip larger! Would ya look at that?! Butt implants,Boob implants etc. Things that a lot of dark women naturally have,others covet and they buy it. But because of our dark skin,we aren't necessarily acknowledged for a lot of positive attributes..physically or otherwise. Enough with the superficial physical aspect,i just had to address it. Racism/prejudice is unfortunately buried deep into the Americas soil. Dark skin has always been thought of as the "lesser". But other parts of the world is different...more receptive even. It's unfortunate that some folks are using this forum to express their racism and predjudices,but at least they are being honest. I say,learn to love every inch of you! You are Gods creation so you are beautiful.
Imo, I feel that black women are the most harshly stereotyped people (race + gender) in this country. For some reason, the masses tend to believe the small sample of black women that he/she interacted with in their lives, or seen on TV, embodies ALL black women. :-X
Sure, there are definitely some black women that I find un-datable...but then again, there are many women that I would find un-datable, regardless of race.
I'm very attracted to black women. I love the physical features of a black woman. I usually go for the thicker ones, since I'm a big guy.
I like their mental strength. I need a woman like that because I can tend to dominate a recessive person. However, she has to be feminine (as in "girly") at the same time. Nails done, makeup, feminine clothing style, effeminate demeanor, etc.
Since I'm a pretentious college graduate (lol), she needs to stimulate my mind in an intellectual manner. I'm quite an analytical person, so I need someone who can mentally "hang" with me.
I'm in love with a cutesy, smart, dark-skinned, thick & effeminate black woman. I'm lucky to have her. :)
I'm a white male republican, very conservative, and don't find black girls hideous or anything like that. People who say stuff like that are just being petty, taking out their anger on an online forum because it can't be traced back to them. I have met a few attractive black girls I wanted to date very badly - one was a cowgirl from TX - problem is they didn't want to date me hahahaha.
Black guys not wanting black women? Eh I hear that from white girls when they see a white guy with an asian girlfriend - like he's "going the easy route" or some sh*t like that. I was with an asian girl for quite awhile and heard those sorts of things from lots of girls.
As far as school goes, schools are war zones and whichever group is least represented will be the most ostracized. It's just a fact of life that you'll have to deal with - it's not fun but that's just the way things are.
To be honest you shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that, racial statistics, what weirdos say on message boards, that sort of thing. It's all a bunch of BS. Just be yourself - being black doesn't doom you to failure any more than being short, tall, thin, fat, whatever.
That was extremley rude. You need to get a life. I honestly feel bad for you. "Human skin color is white? You must have be blind!!!
@Luvglee: you are an idiot. This man had a perfectly reasonable answer and explanation. Next time, comment on the right f'ing answer.
Im a black girl and I think you are very educated like some of the guys here. It makes sense what you say. I think its the nasty ghetto loud" Loquishas with the unstable necks and man attitudes" that give refined black girls a bad rep. But please remember the same way some guys take out anger on these forums and say bad things about these girls is the same reason some black girls are so effeminate. It has to do with history, being ostracized and having to "bear a heavy load in life.
There are attractive black woman and unattractive white women. I think black women get a lot of BS put on them from the way media portrays African American women. Like look and Beyonce and Tyra Banks. Yes both are beautiful black women but both have very white features and work very hard to obtain that type of look. Then you have a beautiful black woman like Alex Wek ( a runway model) who is straight out of Africa and one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have ever seen IMO. I think the media takes so many beautiful black women and tries to fit them into a white mold. Therefore other black women that don't look white enough question their beauty because of it. I have many black friends that are drop-dead gorgeous and a lot of them don't realize it because they feel like they don't fit societies standards. I even have a half and half friend that people do double takes at and she still straightens her beautiful curly hair and wears blue contacts to cover her honey colored eyes. I just don't get it. The world is just messed up today. I love people who look unique and different. I think women just have it bad no matter what with all the pressure put on us. Black women have it even worse because of stereotypes place on them and the pressure to look white. Again though, black woman are just as beautiful as white woman, as are Hispanics and every race in between. Everyone race has beautiful and unique features and needs to embrace them not matter what pressures society puts on them.
Beyonce & tyra don't have "white features".
Full lips. Nice butts. Curves.
Where are the white features you speak of in these woman?
They seem to have positive attitudes with nice bodies.
You may not have meant it the way I'm taking it, but that was kind of racist.
I agree that the media puts a strain on some features, but what makes them features of white females?
Because the majority of white females don't even have these features.
Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
They both have nosejobs which you could see if you look at pictures of them from early on in their careers. Also Beyonce used to be a lot thicker and she has lost all of her curves as of late. She also used to wear her hair is braids and more ethnic styles which she no longer does. If you look at Beyonce from when she first started her career to now you will notice how "white" she really has become. Her dress, her hair, now her weight loss.
Tyra is a gorgeous woman, but if she didn't have her eyes she relay would have never made it as far as she did, it's an anomaly to have a black woman with green eyes. and with beyonce she has changed her image 2 fit society's standards... there are some people who bleached beyonce's image in certain print adds
Yeah if you google pics of Beyonce from DC and once she went single she looks like a different person! Her and Tyra both got nose jobs to get slimmer noses. Google it is is sad. These women were both beautiful before, yet felt a need to change. I don't get it. I agree too most photos Beyonce looks like me when I am tan, she doesn't look African American at all!
Well I understand what you are saying, and it deeply touched me...............*tear*
You females are speaking foolishly. Just because people change their image? Are you guys serious? If you look at old photos of me also, I'll look different. It has nothing to do with trying to look more white. You can't expect someone to wear braids forever. Maybe she loss that weight for a movie and decided you looked her best that way. Who knows, but it completely ignorant to label her as you all are doing here.
Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
Yes, and I guess their noses jobs were also for a movie role? I am just stating factual information and there is pressure from society to fit a certain mold. These are facts. Look at most newer photos of Beyonce. Her skintone isn't much darker than mine. Do people lose skin pigmentation also?
Neither of your links worked, and I'll tell you this, AN example of someone attemptting to be white is Michael Jackson. To try and take credit for another females beauty racially just sounds completely ignorant. Just know that as humans we evolve, and just because she does something that gives you the image you feel white women go for, does mean she's try to look more white. Don't get me wrong, I love women period!
Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
So you'd argue that by her getting a nose job, which many blacks don't often do, is her attempting to "look" more white? And this is factual information?
Oh I get it, she doesn't want to enhance her looks, she wants to be more white?
So some how you feel she wants a "whiter" nose?
She's not trying to meet the mold of "white", but rather perfection.
White women don't have perfect noses. That's why the are always getting a nose job. Its not a white feature.
Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
Yer beyonce has completely changed and looks more "white" or "superficial" : https://news.makemeheal.com/images/beyonce-plastic-surgery3.jpg
I agree with the concept of preferences= prejudices. If I had my choice in men, they would be over 6 feet, intelligent, and understanding. Good people are hard to find in ANY race and any height, so I try not to be so limited in my thinking.
As far as appearance is concerned, I've noticed even among Black men that Black hair is not attractive, no matter how pretty or long it is. Boy, am I glad that I don't live to attract people to me. I wake up, and I decide that I'm beautiful. And my self esteem alone attracts others of all races. More White men like my natural hair than Black men! The last Black guy I went on a date with, I met him with my hair natural. When we were preparing to go out, he asked me if I was going to do something with my hair, like straighten it. :-/
As far as education and attitude are concerned, we are getting better as a race. More of us are graduating and going to college. You forget, we are just three generations from emotional and mental slavery, so it will take us a couple of more generations to get it right.
Our behavior and attitude is centered around insecurities. Most Black women don't know how to weed out men's intentions, so they start by being 'hard'. You look at her too long, and she gives you the 'whatchu looking at?' face. They figure if you can get through the attitude, then you're probably strong enough to deal with them. No woman likes a weak man. A man that understands that a smart woman is an asset, yes. But no weaknuts. They know that more civilized people don't want you to make a scene, so they tend to get loud to get what they want. Also, this is also indicative of any race of people who aren't used to nice things. I have a White friend who embarrassed the HELL out of me at the restaurant in the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York. There is ghetto in every race.
The reason why Black men don't like our attitude is because we remind them of their mothers. Mom had to be dad too. She was never sure of her own decisions when it comes to men, and he probably witnessed her being either overbearing, controlling, and probably to some loser because if nothing else, he was expected to be a screw-up, or to come up short when he does show up. His sister is the same way, and so are the other Black girls that he knows. So there are two things he set out to do: not be the loser that women chose to deal with, and not deal with a Black woman who's going to treat him like a child. He seeks women that are demure, and let him make the decisions in a relationship. That's the reason why guys of all races like Asian women. They're smart, petite, and they let the man lead. Traditionally speaking anyway.
As a double degreed SUCCESSFUL Black woman from humble beginnings, it is pertinent for Black people to get an education, and see more in life. Once they see that success is possible, everything opens up. Even relationships.
"but I feel so discouraged when it comes to dating (keep in mind that I live in a predominately white area)."
That right there is one of your problems. You think it's because there aren't that many blacks around that you that you can't be with someone or that your chances are lower. I did a huge project for a psych class that I was in (my term project/paper). I surveyed some 300 guys and 300 girls of varying race, class, and age (18-27). Out of all the other races and genders of those races, black women were the least open to interracial relationships and inter-religious relationships, and several other things which guys listed as unappealing.
I have no clue (well not a full, complete one anyways) as to why a large amount of black women are afraid of interracial relationships. I've had black women who have said no to me or avoided me and actually told me upfront "I don't get involved with anyone but a Brotha." Then a week later complain about the lack of men. Not saying you or all black women act that way, but a decent amount do, close themselves off to other prospects for one reason or another. Some people of whatever skin color are just more comfortable keeping within their group, clique or whatever you want to call it. I'm currently with a beautiful black woman and she treats me like a prince and I treat her like she is everything in my world. Some are just more comfortable than others being outside their skin, if you will excuse the pun.
So my best advice is be yourself, take care of yourself physically, mentally, etc., and if no one is approaching you, find someone you like and go after them.
No, I'm very open to interracial relationships (I probably wouldn't have asked this question if I wasn't). I'm also a product of an interracial relationship, but I do know what you mean. When ever my cousin and I are together and I say that a non-black guy is cute she just doesn't see it. She's almost repulsed by non-black guys for relationships. You're right I should just go after anyone I like, but I'm afraid that if he's not black he's not going to think I'm attractive.
Everyone has their personal tastes, even within the races, some white guys only like red heads or blondes, tall and thin, or curvy, or whatever. Everyone has their preferences, so is skin color. I know guys who prefer not to be with anyone outside their race, but as you mentioned so do women (like your cousin). If you project confidence and think you're attractive, so will he think of you, if he doesn't the old cliche is still true, there are many more fish in the sea...
deep down many of us like black girls but you have to give thanks to rap,reggae and r&b music videos that make black women look like they only like those guys with tappered and fade hair cuts and dressed like clowns. I'm sorry but I dress like a man and feel like black girls wouldn't give me the time of day...drop the media and those ridiculous music videos and you'll start to realize that men in general like women as long as they look good and smell like candy. we're just looking for a little love...there are racist people out there...but not all of us...racism starts from within one's heart...first start believing that race is not an issue and please do not bring it up on a date when going out with a guy from a different race...i dated a black girl and she could not stop reminding me that she was black this black that...i was just looking to spend time with her...skin color is obvious and it was obvious I didn't have a problem with it. The question is, do YOU have a problem with it? Sorry for being blunt...lets go out sometime...he he...j/k
Well yeah, a lot of black women do like those kind of guys, and if they're white or asian they have to look like that for them to like them, but if I'm dating I white guy I want a white guy. I actually don't even like rap and raggae (r&b is alright sometimes). Are you asking me if I have a problem with being black or if I have a problem with other races?
I'll just answer both. Obviously I don't have a problem with asians since I'm half, and no problem with white because grown up around mostly white people. Definitely no problem with hispanics,etc. Sometimes I do have a problem with being black because I do feel left out and "different" and sometimes unattractive because of it, but for the most part I'm okay with being black. For the longest time I didn't even realize that I was black.
You are correct, the media (which is even supported by African Americans) has done African American women a major disservice. Still, we've yet to do anything to correct the problem.