Why are black girls the least desirable?

Question

Why is it that black girls are the most undesirable? (For non-black guys)I'm seeing a lot of negative things being said about black women in the media (mainly online). I even saw a forum thread dedicated to how black girls are the ugliest. Sure there are racist people that will say that other races are ugly, but black girls get the most heat. I've seen a lot of black girls ask similar questions, and people just think we're imagining things. I mean, look at the marriage rates. Black women are the least married race. I've heard people say that even black guys don't want black women.

This issue is causing my already low-self esteem to plummet to uncharted territories, even though I think I'm pretty compared to most black girls but not so pretty according to regular beauty standards (if that makes sense). My school is mostly white, but the few black girls that go there don't have boyfriends, and to me they are pretty and seem intelligent. Boys aren't everything and at our young age it's better to be more concerned with our academic and career goals, but I feel so discouraged when it comes to dating (keep in mind that I live in a predominately white area).  

In conclusion, I would like to know what it is about black girls that's so unattractive? (BE HONEST, answer anonymously if you must, and don't feed me any crap about "preferences" because in most cases I find that there is underlying racism behind this so-called racial preferences).

VoiceOfReason · Accepted Answer

Guys, like girls, have their individual ideas of what they find attractive in the opposite sex. As for me, being a Black man, I have dated Black women and can honestly say that the stereotype of Black women being "ghetto fabulous" is not true. Yes there are some who fit the criteria, but I know it doesn't fit the mold for the women I dated. When I was dating black women, I tend to go for the light skinned educated Black woman. Unfortunately, many other Black men seem to go after these type of Black women as well (light skinned.) Many of the Black women I dated often knew this and it created a "diva" like mentality and they often milked it for what it was worth. Once I realized that dating this type of woman was more about how much you were willing to spend on them and not about the romance, I decided to expand my dating pool to other races. I dated White, Hispanic and Asian women, all which have their own set of positives and negatives. I also know that people think Black women have attitudes and other women don't. Let me educate you guys on a little something. If you piss off any woman, she will make it known she is unhappy, though some Black women tend to be a little louder, more confrontational and combative when doing it. Point is all women, and men have attitude. Its part of our personality traits. It just may take a little more to set some of us off than others, but its there.

When I started dating other women besides Black, I found that I saw physical facial features I love in each ethnic group. Don't get me wrong, I think each ethnicity has beautiful women within it, but for the features I was drawn more, led me to lean more toward foreign ethnic women, mostly Asian and Hispanic.

As I see it, with all I have learned I decided that if all women can possess attitude, I wanted to go for the woman who possessed the most facial features I am attracted to. I tend to love women who don't require or use excessive make-up, don't wear contacts to change the color of their eyes, wear their own natural nails instead of the cosmetic nails and wear their own natural hair, instead of weaves.

My best friend, who is also my girlfriend, now fiancée and soon to be wife is Asian and I would ever consider dating anyone else as she completes me. not only does she possess the facial features I love, but our personalities are so close to each other naturally, that we seldom have disagreements.

The bottom line is, since there is beauty in everyone, you need to seek out what makes you look and feel most beautiful about yourself. Once you find that, your esteem will rise and that will resonate to those around you. You can't expect for others to find you beautiful if you have low self esteem. Find what makes you happy and let that be your baseline. It will also help you find out who is most important to you because those who don't like it won't like you any better or worse and those who do will be more than glad to be around and court you

Little-Hippie · Accepted Answer

A lot of people seem to be brain-washed by the media to be attracted to the "perfect Aryan" set of physical traits in a woman.

Since Black women appear the furthest from this set of genetics, many men are mentally programmed to have an aversion to their physical traits.

Hitler's words were never louder in the ears of human judgement as they are today in our subconscious interpretation of the world around us.

Look at the unnatural things Black women feel they need to do to appear just slightly more Aryan.

-Placing a highly corrosive chemical base in their hair in order to make it do something so unnatural, it has a pH level higher than that of liquid Drano.

-Skin-bleaching has become an epidemic in many African and Caribbean nations, to the extent that it is socially unacceptable for a woman not to bleach her skin. This is all in spite of the detrimental effects that skin bleach has on the human dermis and lymphatic system. All just to make their skin just a tad bit closer to the perception of what the master "race" of humans should look like?

They're killing themselves just to look more appealing to a society who's laws of attraction hold their loyalty to Mein Kampf.

Even non-blacks buy into it.

People with curly hair straighten it.

People with "ethnic" noses get nose jobs to appear more "beautiful".

Colour contacts are worn to project more strongly Aryan traits.

Hair colour is changed.

Facial features are altered.

Identities are lost.

All to appease a society who, frankly, doesn't know what to believe beauty is.

Black Women, stop questioning why the society in which you live doesn't accept your natural Beauty.

You know why.

You just want constructive criticism, an Itemized list of all the "undesirable" ethnic traits in hopes of "improving your image".

You can't

You won't

You shouldn't try

It's all in vain, and trying to mesh into a system that works against you will only feed the fire.

Be Natural, be vigilant, be intelligent, be diligent, be beautiful.

But do not try to live by adopted standards of beauty.

Be, within yourself, beautiful, and so the world shall see your true beauty,

not your attempt at their definition of beauty.

But you can be sure that only those worthy of your beauty, those with untainted eyes, will see your true beauty.

This is a statement.

This is not an arguement,

Thus, there is no counter-arguement.

Those feeling Arbitary may have a go at it, though.

C-L-E · Accepted Answer

I am a girl, so I don't know why men don't seem to like black women, but I would like to tell a story about something that happened in high school to me. I was raised to judge each individual individually to decide whether or not they were a worthwhile person. I was raised that there is no difference between people with different color skin, we just have different color skin, that's all. I was also raised to have no clue that there was any difference between religions. Different people believe different things is what my mom used to tell me, and that whatever works for you is what you should believe.

One day in school when I was a junior, we were doing some kind of election for something. There were 4 girls up for election. Two white girls, a mexican girl, and a black girl. The black girl just happened to be one of the sweetest friendliest people ever, and was pretty much liked by every single person in the school, so we all knew she was going to win. Everyone had been asking everyone who they voted for all day long...yeah yeah yeah, we weren't supposed to and blah blah blah, but we did anyway. I had asked all my friends already, and we had all voted for Sharifa. EVERYONE I asked had voted for her. So I asked the girl who sat in front of me in math class who she voted for, and when she said Sharifa, I smiled and said "that's what I thought". I was about to add that there was pretty much no way she was going to lose because we all like her so much when this girl stood up and screamed at me for being a rascist bitch, and challenged me to fight right there in the classroom. I had no freakin clue what she was talking about until she screamed at me some more about "that's what you thought huh? that's what you thought because I'm black I'm gonna vote for the black girl?" That wasn't what I meant at all...Sharifa was my friend. I thought she would vote for her because we all did, not because she was black. It actually still hurts my feelings when I think about how angry she got and what she thought I meant. Unfortunately, that is the type of thing that is shown about black women in the media. Black women always get portrayed as "strong" and "powerful" they are never "sweet" or "the girl next door". The media promotes this view of strong powerful black women and I think lots of men get that confused with cold and dominating. Men are intimidated by women that could kick their ass, and that is how black women in the media are portrayed. I don't know why that is, but that is what I have seen. I myself am white, and am not particularly attracted to white men at all. I prefer Asian men...I don't know why but to me, they are more handsome than other men. I don't know if that answers anything you asked, but I think so.

reeltaulks · Accepted Answer

To be honest when I initially started reading your article I was like what a dumb ass, but as I continued I was reminded that I was once young as well.  And if the truth be told can relate to your experience.  Whatever you read and choose to listen to people telling you is totally different from what you know through your experience.  Totally the opposite of each other.  Why?!?!?!  because you really shouldn't believe or get caught up in the hype.  Yes most of our taste and desires are molded by the media as well as what we see on a daily basis.  But as you grow and get older you tend to cultivate and develop your own style, as well as have likes and dislikes that come from your experience.  When trying something new you don't take someone's word for it, more than likely you'll be the judge and taste, or try it for yourself.  I can attest to what you say in regards to your self esteem and listening and believing what others say and tell you.  When I was a young girl I heard negative things all the time.  I can't really say I had low self esteem, but I would have if I listened or got caught up in what was mere stupidity!  This would have put my self esteem in places it would be deemed hopeless.  I actually would look at these people as they are talking and say to myself like wtf is wrong with you, who does that.  Of course I didn't say it out loud because they supposedly were adults and in charge of me.  But I was able to overcome and ignore their ignorance and stupidity because I knew better.  I thought of myself as better because there were other attributes to my existence outside of my "looks" and who wanted me or wanted to be with me.  I was extremely athletic and was interested in so many other things.  So whenever they felt they were destroying me by  telling me where I fell short.  I excelled in other areas they felt were irrelevant.  These areas strengthened my mind, self esteem and had me focused on what I believed instead of what they told me.  If you base your entire existence on your looks, who likes, appreciates or accepts you that is all that you are going to be worth.  And if the truth be told that is the icing on the cake, because there is so much more to ones life than what they look like.  #ThatssosiLLY!

CDenatale · Accepted Answer

Hey girl,

I read your question and, if you are asking for absolute honesty, I am going to tell you that I think you're insecure. I am not putting you (nor would I put anyone) down for being insecure (I am insecure too)! But there is no "truth" out there that one race is better or worse looking than another. You're getting too caught up in the nasty, racist opinions of certain people (people who, I'm sure, you'd never want to even associate with; much less respect enough to give their words creedence). There is a lot of hatred out there towards people of color and, I believe, it is easy for that hatred to be soaked up by the people themselves. You might believe it's a "fact" that black women are "less attractive" than other women (whatever that may mean to you), but it is NOT. I am not black, but I am in a very small minority being a Jew and I have felt very negative against my heritage based on what other people say about it. It was eye opening when I finally realized that their hate was now inside of me too! I just began to really love my culture and learn more about it. I finally embraced it, but other people's hate took a long while to shake off. You'll shake it off too. Black women are exceptionally beautiful, just as all women are. Love yourself. There is nothing not to love!

Mesonfielde · Answer

I do not have a lot of experience with black females. I have only seen two of them in reality, for the place where I live in does not have a lot of them (or at least there aren't many black people around here in this city at all.)

However based on that experience and what I see from the television, it is true - I really don't like black girls physically. I can safely say this is because of the high level of racism that has been around for a long time. Therefore it just does not match my ideal for a girl to have black skin. (In fact, I tend to find the whiter the more attractive, I also have issues with tans and natural summer brownness, but that is just my pickiness.) I'm used to white. We have this saying around here jokingly: "I'm not a racist or anything, but the human skin color is white." We say that as a joke, but it does sort of stay with your expectations.

And if there are two other really dumb reasons, one of them is that they usually have giant lips which I do not like, and the second is that the experience I've had was ghetto-ish.

"i jst dnt understand...perfect ryt nw would b if you were here makin me laugh and stuff"

And she types like that! How can anyone type like that? Ugh.

So that's basically it.

Subotai · Answer

I can't tell you this isn't true for a lot of people but it isn't true for me I am European mostly also a little bit Asian and I find a lot of black girls attractive both African American and Somalian or other countries.  I have crushes on lots of African Muslim girls at my school I love the dresses they wear and the hijab and I find a lot of them to be very smart and nice even if they tend to be more religious than most of the people I hang out with. I don't think its accurate to say black girls are the ugliest.  To be honest I am not very attracted to white girls myself some are but in general not my preference.  I am a very tan European guy partly Gypsy and I'm kind of a nerd so a lot of white people left me out of their social groups but a lot of black people accepted me as a friend and a lot of black girls have had crushes on me while a lot of white girls seem to treat me like I am a freak.  So in general I have found African people both male and female to be more friendly with strangers and less judgemental which makes a lot of sense.  Races vary a lot some black girls are very curvy some skinny just like all the other races.  I tend to be drawn to curvy girls I am dancing around this so I'm just gonna come out and say this I like big butts I cannot lie on a girl of any race but a lot of African girls have them.  As for hair I love peoples hair to be what its supposed to be.  If you are Norwegian with long blond hair be proud its beautiful.  If you are Latina/Native wear that long black hair don't die it.  If you are African with black curly hair be proud wear braids or an afro, I have noticed different African people grow different kinds of hair because just like in Europe people in different countries of the same race look a little different.  I wish less black girls got their hair straightened to try to look more white.  I am not gonna say straight hair isn't beautiful because it can be but curly hair is beautiful too and no one looks beautiful trying to be someone they're not.  The guy ChaosPrefect sounds kinda racist assuming all black girls act a certain way its not true.  But the small percentage of African girls that do act way to stereotypical hip hop ghetto are annoying and frankly hard to talk to. I can understand most black slang but not if its said really really fast.  Yet again racism means a lot of white men don't think of black girls as marriage material but that doesn't mean they don't think your sexy they just want to exploit black women for sex only.  Just remember its really racist people who are missing out not you.  As for me I have dated black latino and white women and would definitely consider marrying a black girl if that's where things led.  I know that's not really an answer to your question but If  Ihad to guess it would be not that black girls are considered in any way less beautiful or sexy just that because of racism some of white men don't even consider black women for serious relationships.  Their loss

just4clarity · Answer

The anonymous under 18 female is very accurate.

Studies have shown we go for people that look like us, e.g. I myself as a dark haired white dominant facial features female go for males who fit the same type. Its not deliberate, I just do. Though I do sometimes go for darker men too, I find some Turkish, Persian and Arab men physically attractive but cultural differences put me off.

Best way to assess this is thinking about people born in your country. I think I'd date British Indians no questions asked, British Carribeans and Jamaicans again, I like their features and skin colour is not what puts me off. I once got with a pretty dark Indian guy cos he was south Indian. I go for features like mine though, so yeah, a straight, dominant nose is part of what I like. But I reject as many Celtic looking white men for that as I would non whites.

Now to answer why others find black girls unattractive... I will be honest and repeat discussions I have had with friends:

Man 1: (white british, 24) He adores Zambians and African women in general. He just thinks they posess a natural beauty, striking big eyes and full smiles that white, asian or Indian women cannot compete with.

Man 2: (white british, 25) Says northern Africans are the most beautiful. He has never got with a black woman though and generally prefers white women, he finds them "safer" and less likely to have other issues.

Man 3: (academic indian living in europe, 31) Says Indian women are the most beautiful, he goes completely for the face and thinks Indian women represent the artistic ideal. He has also got with white women too when he likes their faces. He doesn't like black women and he has no real explanation for it, they just fail to turn him on. He also doesn't like oriental/asian women because he says they look androgenous and have small breasts and bums.

Man 4: (white german, 30) Has only got with white women, he is not opposed, its just never happened any other way.

Various other men from various places have said that they would only get with their own race plus white. I think the anon answer is correct, it is just because the white woman has become idealised because of the white dominated media and porn industry. Also in many cultures, pale is seen as better, so whites automatically escape any colour prejudice. Also yeah there is this kinky dominance thing. In Germany I saw some ok looking Turkish boys with hideous German girlfriends - its just a status thing. I find it weird, the assumption we are better I am assuming cos they think we are richer and higher in status, when in actual fact a lot of the girls these guys pick are lower than themselves.

I'm no white supremecist or nationalist, but I say stick to your own nation, culture, class and religion wherever possible. I lived in Germany for two years, and there are a lot of guys out there just wanting to tick a box on their world map. Don't be someone's novelty, be with an equal.

If there are nice black guys, date them.

RattlerGirl · Answer

THE FOLLOWING IS A RESPONSE TO ANONYMOUS’S RESPONSE TO MY FIRST POST:

We’ve been targeted since we were brought over here to be enslaved. People try to eliminate what they fear which is why they do everything in their power to eliminate us. Our history contains people who have fought against injustice and those in charge don’t like that. They hate us because historically, we’re a strong people and they know that we have the power to defeat injustice if we stuck together. Because of this knowledge many vices were introduced to our communities that we now use to eliminate ourselves. You see, they are just sitting back and laughing at us (figuratively speaking) while we parade around like buffoons, using the tools that they gave us to annihilate our race. They give us the labels as uneducated, promiscuous, lazy, nappy head, etc to make everyone including us believe that we are of lesser quality than our white counterparts. So when someone fits the stereotype, they are put under the spotlight. So a pregnant black girl is viewed as a loose sex-feign because of the jezebel stereotype; whereas, a pregnant Hispanic girl may not be focused on as much. Everyone is conditioned to hate us directly and indirectly. No one understands what black people face in this society which is why many of them get frustrated when the question of race arises. We live in a land built by us but a society that was constructed to defeat us and those benefitting from it expect us to “let it go” like the problem has been solved. Regardless of what people say, we are not given the same opportunities and those that we do have, we had to jump through 400 hoops to obtain. It is true that Maury’s show needs to be discontinued but making a mockery out of minorities is what makes the money so it will continue to be shown. Modern day minstrel shows which should also be removed from television is anything related to Flavor Flav, New York aka Janice the Muppet, For the Love of Ray J (even though that’s my god brother, I hate that show), the Cleveland Show, Rap videos that glamorize the ghetto and “the splash life” and the list goes on. The truth is, as long as black people continue this fight against each other and the desperate struggle to fit in with mainstream society by allowing themselves to be molded into what Anglo America wants them to be, we will continue to be pimped by this society. We should be able to be who we are and not let anyone else make us feel ashamed of it. We should be able to speak how we want, dress how we want, and act how we want etc because if I’m not mistaken, society is not whose judgment that matters. People need to learn to accept each other for who they are and not for what one thinks one should be.

Blindness · Answer

Perhaps because black women are substantially more violent towards their boyfriends and husbands than the other way 'round.

A study of FBI statistic found that of all racial or ethnic groups, black men are the *most* likely to be killed by a spouse [Mercy, J. A., & Saltzman, L. E. (1989). "Fatal violence among spouses in the United States, 1975-85" American Journal of Public Health, 79, 595-599.]

A 1985 study [Hampton, R. L., Gelles, R. J., & Harrop, J. W. (1989). "Is violence in families increasing?" A comparison of 1975 and 1985 National Survey rates. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 51, 969-980] found that black women exhibit three times the rates of violence towards their partners, compared to white women.

More recent studies found that black women are more likely to attack their boyfriends/husbands than the boyfriends are to attack their wives/girlfriends. [Caetano, R., Schafter, J., Field, C., & Nelson, S. M. (2002). "Agreement on reports of intimate partner violence among white, Black, and Hispanic couples in the United States." Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 17, 1308-1322.]

or [Clark, M. L., Beckett, J., Wells, M., & Dungee-Anderson, D. (1994). "Courtship Violence among African-American college students." Journal of Black Psychology, 20 (3), 264-281.]

or [DeMaris, A. (1992). "Male versus female initiation of aggression: The case of courtship violence." In E. C. Viano (Ed.), Intimate violence: interdisciplinary perspectives. (pp. 111-120). Bristol, PA: Taylor & Francis.]

or [O'Keeffe, N. K., Brockopp, K., & Chew, E. (1986). "Teen dating violence." Social Work, 31, 465-468.]

or [Rouse, L. P. (1988). "Abuse in dating relationships: A comparison of Blacks, Whites, and Hispanics." Journal of College Student Development, 29, 312-319]

or [Sorenson, S. B., Upchurch, D. M., & Shen, H. (1996). "Violence and injury in marital arguments: risk patterns and gender differences." American Journal of Public Health, 66 (1), 35-40]

or... you get the idea.

By the way, it's not just black girls who are more likely to attack their partners. Hundreds of studies show women tend to use more physical aggression than men do in dating:

link

Anonymous · Answer

Well in all honesty, black people DO look different, although that doesn't mean they are ugly. Aside from having darker skin, they have broader noses/cheekbones and their lips protrude farther than most white people's lips.They also tend to have gorgeous curves and more extremes of both height and weight because of their African ancestry (anything from pygmies to giants) so there is great variation there.

As far as why a white guy wouldn't want to date a black girl, yes, it IS a preference thing, not racist. Some guys like blonde, some like brunette, some like brown eyes, some like blue, some like tall, some like short, some like skinny, some like curvy, and some like black, some like white. It's racist when they refuse to be friends with black girls or treat them with the respect they deserve, but what a person prefers in a partner is a different matter altogether.

I don't usually prefer black guys because I'm probably the whitest white girl you'll ever meet. I'm a redhead and have really pale skin, so I think I'd look funny with someone so much drastically darker than myself. Plus (don't laugh!) when I look at potential boyfriends, I think (would I want my babies to look like him?) and if I married and had kids with a black guy, they wouldn't look like me at all. I think this happens in guys' minds too, but I think it's more of a subconscious thing for them. In the same way that they are attracted to women who look the most "fertile," they are attracted to women who they can picture being a mother to their babies. Sounds strange, but it's true.

You asked for honesty, so I'll tell you why black guys go for white girls sometimes. It's really sick...but they see white girls as more of a "challenge" since they are considered somewhat "forbidden." Plus, the movie and pornography industries have glorified the white woman so much that she's considered the sex icon among women.

What's even sicker is these black women who are trying to be "white" because they've convinced themselves that being black makes them ugly (which is not true). Skin bleaching and hair dye won't make you more beautiful. You're black--flaunt it! Show those guys what they're missing. :P

P.S. I realize that I said some pretty blunt things in this answer, so I apologize in advance if I offended anyone. This was just the most honest way to explain this delicate subject that I could come up with.

mikesyc · Answer

Wow, some of these comments are incredibly hurtful or even downright racist. And some of the entitled girls here who don't have to deal with this bullsh*t are accusing you of making this up when it is a very real problem.

You are right, on average, men are less willing to date a Black woman. Women are also less willing to date an Asian man (I'm an Asian man). One way to see this is the interracial marriage data gathered in the last census show that there are way more Black men / Asian women in interracial marriages than their opposite sex counterparts. But I think a lot of it is a result of negative stereotypes perpetuated by society, mainly media. Black women are commonly portrayed as loud, attitude-y, uneducated, and overall masculine. Asian men are commonly portrayed as nerdy, weak, bad with women, submissive, and overall feminine. It's fine to have preference but it's not okay to be like "I don't date Black girls," that's called being racist. There are obviously differences on average, mainly in physical appearance. But they are not different enough to justify completely discounting an entire race of women. For instance, you can't say you don't like Black girls at all just because a lot of them are obese. A lot does not mean all. And like you said, many of these preferences are racist ideas people got from the media.

Speaking of physical differences, I am actually an Asian man that has a preference for Black women. Here is what I (generally) find physically attractive about them. Black girls...

-look good without makeup. This is like the biggest thing; it's always shocking how much more attractive White and especially Asian women can look with the right makeup. If all girls looked as they do when waking up (without makeup), I think more people would see the beauty in Black women. It's nice when your woman looks good all the time, not just with her makeup on.

-have big beautiful lips

-have beautiful eyes

-are curvy and thick. I'm not a fan of skinny girls. I don't like belly fat and I'm not a chubby chaser, I just like fat in the right places.

-have proportionally longer legs

-have beautiful skin tone (I like dark skin)

I hope this helps.

ChaosPrefect · Answer

((Disclaimer: I'm not racist, but there are racial GENERALIZATIONS, I will make here. Please keep in mind that this refers to a "large percentage of" the black female population, but not by any means all of them, or even necessarily most of them. Just a lot of people exist that are like the following, thank you.))

Many black girls can actually be incredibly hot, it's just that many of them often make choices and behave in manners that are simply not attractive. There are several things that can make a black girl undesirable, here's my top 4 things:

1. The attitude. A little assertiveness can be very sexy indeed, however, yelling and screaming like you're a p*ssed off drunkard is not attractive at all. You know exactly what I'm talking about right? The whole "tough" girl act. "Oh HELL NO YOU DIDN'T!" bits. No one wants to feel like they have to walk on eggshells when they're with a girl, or worry about getting smashed in the face while sleeping. Who would want to date a girl who acts like they're gonna beat the crap out of them.

2. The hair. Black girls with straight hair is extremely attractive. Or maybe curls that hang down, some girls can even pull off some of the crazier hair styles. However, braids, ESPECIALLY corn rows and similar hair styles that show lots of scalp and/or press your hair extremely tight to your head is NOT attractive at all. It's the EXACT opposite, I'd prefer a girl with an afro, I really would. But even better, if your hair isn't too out of control, use a hair straightener. If it's way out there, go for something like Scary Spice's old school hair style.

(( Example: link ))

3.Quiet down please. Some black girls are much too loud. Particularly when on the cell phone but often just in general. You come off as obnoxious and egotistical. Basically, it makes everyone around you think you're a total b*tch when you start screaming on the bus about what your girl did with that guy last night or whatever it is.

4. Stop pretending to be dumb. No, seriously, I am getting really tired of seeing girls pretending to be stupid. Mind you, this applies to EVERY GIRL ON THE PLANET, tho this is sadly ESPECIALLY prevalent among a lot of black girls. Saying things like, "reading is hard" or "why read a book". When asked something simple, do NOT reply in a dismissive manner, "I dunno", "I don't get it", ignore the subject completely thereafter and then get upset when you get treated like an idiot, because that's how you act. If you really don't know something, maybe try and LEARN the answer or ask questions about it. "I don't know", with no further desire to investigate the subject is NOT attractive.

Sadly, things like BET and MTV encourage behavior that does black girls such a disservice like it's cool to be freaking retarded. Stop watching those two channels and reality TV shows like they often air and you will be better off.

SpartWallace · Answer

I totally agree with Taylor415! Look, I'm a black guy, and I'm not proud of myself when I say it is mostly a matter of sexual features. The straight analysis of Taylor415 is exactly how I feel, those features are just what turns me off from black girls. But I know they turn on some other dudes, there's every taste in the nature. Maybe because I've been exposed (Like many people I know) to the white beauty standard in movies and to be more exact, p*rn, I tend to associate beauty with some of the physical features more common in white girls. Because, yeah, there are physical differences between white girls and blacks. Not for all, but for the most part, certain obvious differences like nose shape, lips, hips, hair. I like the caucasian type of hair, and I've never met a black girl, or asian who had that kind of hair that so much turns me on! Never! I think it's just unique to Caucasian girls. And as far as I'm concerned, the great diversity that comes with white girls is really great. Consider this: they have dark black hair, brown(brunettes), yellow, red, and even in those categories, there are different shades as well, and then the diversity with the eyes: blue, green, brown, black... I think that's just really attractive.

Ok, I'm way off topic(We're talking abt Black girls, aren't we?). I still find some Black girls attractive (I don't mind dating a Black girl who has many of the features I look at in a girl). But then, what is a turnoff is the attitude. Most Black women I meet carry that nasty attitude that just says "Trouble" wherever they go. There is a difference between a strong woman and a nasty woman, and more often Black chicks fall in the latter category. For me, a woman needs to be soft and feminine. That may sound ridiculous and outdated, but in fact, I think many guys are like me. We want women, not dudes, to have romance with. We want them not to be violent, as it is a trait well too characteristic of the male genre. But most of the Black girls I see around aren't like that. Another thing that is a must to me is for the girl to have some "culture". I mean, she doesn't have to know quantum physics on her fingertips or have written books on abstract impressionism, but be able to engage in some profound discussion about something and be able to speak properly (No ghetto-talk). If a girl is good-looking, soft and feminine, and has culture, I don't give a f**k if she's black, white, yellow, red or blue, I'll go for her. But once again, I don't usually meet black girls having that mix of features, which is why, by experience, I don't usually go after them

shadowcat517 · Answer

As a black girl in the suburbs, I see where you're coming from. I'm more likely to get called fat because I have a big ass, even though I would even if I was really skinny (people in my family are really skinny and have the same problem; it's a genetic thing, I guess). As for the facial structure comments I've been hearing, enough with the generalizations. People can't control their gene pool, or their skin color. And the attitude/accent thing. Seriously? I know a black girl who got into both Dartmouth and Yale, and not just because she's a minority female. She has impeccable English and is one of the smartest and nicest people I know. And I spend my days surrounded by mostly white people, and she goes to school in the city. Plenty of black girls don't look like apes. As for skin color, well, it's a matter of preference, but I really hope that's not the only reason someone would turn down someone else.

The attractiveness thing really comes from stereotypes that are portrayed through music videos, especially rap videos. Fun fact: 70% of rap is bought by white men. So, all those guys that are saying all this crap about black women, it's probably your fault they're portrayed like this, because the media conforms to its customers. Ok, I'm black, a virgin, no STDS, and I won't have sex until I'm married. I know the STD rate is high in black women. Look where slavery and racism put us. Black women are in the ghetto, with several siblings, and parents that are too busy working to pay attention to what they do. In Europe, there is not this problem, especially not in France, because they've heard of a little thing called "tolerance." Some people need to get some, on both sides of the racism issue. It's not the skin color; it's the demographic. In the ghettos and slums, there's always going to be vice, and there just happens to be a lot of black people in the ghettos and slums. Thank you, racist idiots. You are causing a cycle that cannot be broken between racism, horrible portrayal of the black community, and people conforming to the stereotypes.

I have only dated white guys, but only because I don't know a lot of black guys. I mean, I look for personality before skin color. And I'm VERY selective, because there are so many arrogant guys in general. Of all races. And there are bitchy annoying girls of all races. It depends who you ask for preference, but I think the real reason is that white guys in the suburbs hear all the stereotypes, and believe them. It sucks, but what can we do? If you're gonna be rejected for your skin color, then the guys aren't worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

As far as raw beauty goes, I personally really like black women.

I'm a pretty slim athletic guy with an "exotic" descent (Korean, Greek, German, and I'm answering anonymously so I don't look stuck up, not because I'm uncomfortable talking about race btw), so I go for the "model" look I guess because it's kind of like mine. I really like mixed-race girls and girls from the hotter parts of the world.

Honestly, the only facial types that don't send me over the edge is the big and round-eyed pureblood European look. For example, if Lindsay Ellingson (one of the new Victoria's Secret Angels, Google her) didn't have a perfect complexion, I don't think I'd find her that attractive. But when I think of girls like Selita Ebanks... woof! Or others... Quiana Grant, Jessica White. Girls like Rihanna and Chanel Iman, who are really young and totally on the cutting edge of culture, are gonna be the dream girls of the guys of every color in a 6 or 7 years.

Yes I know I'm naming some major name girls and not all black girls look quite like that. But my point of this whole thing is I think that what comes out of Africa is beautiful, far more so than what comes out of Anglo-Saxon Europe. When I'm attracted to a white girl, I'm attracted to the beauty of her youth. When I'm attracted to an exotic girl, I'm attracted to her look, her youth, and her culture. So when I like an African girl, it's not just because she's young and healthy, it's because she's African and her African-ness is beautiful. I can't say that about girls from Anglo-Saxon Europe.

But to really answer your question, of WHY black girls are undesirable to many...

Well it took me FOREVER to figure out that I liked black girls. Honestly, it's because of what the reputation coming before some of those girls. I grew up in a white / conservative suburb so not only did different = bad, but I only saw blacks on MTV and BET. Unfortunately for all of us, I was making assumptions on ALL black girls from the PARIS HILTONS of black girls (famous for obnoxiousness, just enough sex appeal to get attention).

It took me a lot of growing up and a lot of exposure to more mature black female icons (Halle Berry, Erykah Badu, Alicia Keys) before I dropped that stereotype. Then it took exposure in real life (didn't happen until college) to lots of black women until I realized that I really like black girls personally and that they're no different than girls of any other color.

But what you gotta understand is that not everybody has lived in a conservative rural (suburb of Nashville, TN), a liberal urban (Washington DC), and a college (a VA state school) environment. Most people who get the anti-black-female stereotype aren't gonna get the chance to drop it. But in the end, those are the people who aren't smart enough to see it the real way. They're missing out the beauty and culture of the whole world because they can only take what's super familiar.

Who's really losing out in this one? Not you.

mdcpmdcp · Answer

I'm a 34 year old white guy.

It's probably NOT because they aren't attracted to the color of your skin, facial features, body type, etc.

Some guys (especially non-black guys) are afraid of what other people might think, because of racists that they've encountered in the past who have made them feel insecure about admitting that they are attracted to black women. I think the same thing goes for black women when it comes to dating outside of their own race too. The general population of blacks are just as racist as whites when it comes to seeing their women date outside of their race.

The reason black guys go for white women, Asian women, etc instead of black women, is because they have a fetish. Plain and simple.

Or, they want to try something that they think is taboo (especially considering how racism made white girls etc unattainable to black men for so long in the past). It builds their self esteem to know that they can have women of other races. But although it has become more accepted for black men to date outside of their race, black men still expect black women to keep to their own - which isn't fair.

Finally, there's the whole 'ghetto' stereotype that stops some people from dating black women. Also, some guys are afraid because they've heard how high the AIDS rate is in the black community and guys love to sleep around - so it scares them. That could be a factor as well. Even though realistically, the chances of getting AIDS from ANYONE is about 1 in 2000. Even if you sleep with someone who has AIDS unprotected, the odds of getting it are 1 in 200. (Of course these figures are only estimates made by researchers).

However, I personally think black girls are superior to all other women. Because they are the most unique women on the planet. You can't get much more different than a black girl. So beautiful. So exotic. Black women just drive me crazy. If I met you I would probably be all over you.

So don't feel bad. You're actually the MOST attractive of all women. It's just that non-blacks are still "insecure" about dating black women because of racist bullsh*t, and black guys are too busy chasing the exotic (women of other races that they know were once unattainable to black men). I really think some black men are still insecure about being black because of America's past, so they date other races because it's empowering to them to know that they can get from a white girl for example. To their minds, it's like driving a rolls royce. Little do they know it's the black women who are the rolls royce. :)

So there you have it. That's why I think black women have gotten the short end of the stick in all directions. If you want to change it, start actively seeking men outside your own race and encourage your friends to do the same. (not just for my personal gain haha). Because if more black women did that, the lines between race would start to blur. Putting black girls on a more level playing field.

RiceBall · Answer

Okay, so I would like to think that I am a pretty open guy, and I have found a lot of black women that I am attracted to, and a lot that I'm not attracted to, same with all the races.

The reason for black women to be the least desirable is because of the history and past racism of and towards the black community. Whether we like it or not, deny it or accept it, there will always be racism... past generations were not as open as we are today because for fear of how they may be viewed (which count for a lot back then) but times has changed and we are more open to... "variety" and a lot has to do with influence, I see a lot of answers claiming that black girls are fat, and loud and the list goes on, but they grow up around people like that or who react the same way to certain situations so that's what they are used to but other races would be vibrantly different, I've seen plenty of black girls who are cute and shy, and fit... so it's really a clashing culture of communities, what may be acceptable in one community might not fly with another, and we all have our views of "proper" behavior.

The media spits out an image of beauty so products would sell and apparently our society eats it up and the result is some of the most unattractive women I've ever seen.. for me personally the most unattractive women out there are the ones trying to be something they are not so they can fit in or because of something they saw on TV or whatever the case it's just over done and over used and in denial *shivers*

but "Beauty" is really in the eye of the beholder and I've behold some pretty freaking gorgeous black women, and some really unattractive ones whose behavior are just improper by my standards.. but just remember no race is a whole... there are fugly White women, and omg wtf is that!? Spanish women, and don't come near me Asian women.. but needless to say there are extremely beautiful women of them all as well

in the end it's just that since you go to school in an area with mostly white guys, it's really just a clash of culture and residue of history... just be real, and love truly, and even the most beautiful girl in your school can't compare

JackWSmith · Answer

I think black women are beautiful, including really dark black women. I love the way their mouths look, the way the top lip flattens against their teeth when they smile. I love the roundness of a black woman's butt and the width of her hips, although that is not universal. There are some black women that are flat as boards and there are really curvy women from all different races.

There are some things that many black women do to their appearance that are not attractive, and I think most white men would agree with me. Really long fake nails are gross. I look at them and all I can think about is whether it's possible for you to wipe your ass without getting fecal matter stuck underneath them. Plus they just look unattractive.

Hair is another thing. Fake hair is unacceptable. Chemical warfare hair is okay, but it looks like it would be unpleasant to touch. It also looks like you wouldn't let me touch it, because it has to last. Natural, relaxed hair looks really good. It hides your high forehead rather than accentuates it, and it just looks easier to deal with. I can imagine myself kissing you and running my hand up your neck and into your hair. Moreover, I just like the way natural, springy, semi-afro hair look on black girls.

Also, curvy does not mean fat. Curvy means that your butt and hips are large in proportion to the rest of your body. A round ass and wide hips, aren't the same as the huge ass and have-to-turn-sideways-to-get-through-the-door hips that go along with thunder thighs and an enormous belly.

Another thing is that many white men are intimidated by black men. Many black men act just a little harder and a little more macho than many of us. I'm speaking in general terms here, but I think what I'm saying is often accurate. And black men are just a little bigger than we are too as far as penis size goes. The Lifestyles condom survey indicates that the average black man is half an inch longer than the average white man, which really isn't much, but a lot of white guys have this image of black p*rn stars with enormous penises. Louis CK made a joke about this on his television show. He was asking out a black woman on the subway and he said, "I know that, compared to black men, white men must seem a little gay," and the black girl just looks at him and nods. It was hilarious. A lot of white men look at black girls, and see a long line of well endowed, tough, black men who came before, and it's a hard act to follow. It's our loss. Really speaking from a cold, numerical perspective, with the numbers at which black guys date white girls, an adventurous white man should be able to clean up.

goldenheartone2 · Answer

Very interesting question, and to be very real with you on this question is this, what you see and what is real are two different issues. Here in America, non minorities have a certain picture or assumption of a black woman period. Many of today's networking sites have allowed people to say and express their good and bad experiences online so therefore if you see more negative than positive stories you then assume that a certain group is unpopular. Travel abroad and in many places they do not see or care of one color but their character. Western society, have given all women a liberated mentality to say, do and act out how they feel. But like any woman from any culture, they want to be treated fairly and respectfully. Black women, will always let you know when you out of line or you gotten to personal and for many men who think it is okay to ask personal questions without getting to know a person is fine but a black woman will express her feelings faster and quicker than most. Whether educated or non educated , many black women are not given the same respect as their counter parts. The internet have men thinking if one do not do as I wish I will go on to another until I am satisfied to a man they think this is desirable a woman submissive completetely. I am not saying there is something wrong with this but all women should be treated with dignity and respect and this is not always the case. Women with a painful past will no longer allow any man to trample over them be it that they are not as attractive as a different culture they still want to be treated with courtesy. BBW ( Beautiful Big Woman ) was something black women have taken to a whole new level. All through out Europe black women are sought after and appreciated. You can only take face value on what you see online or hear from a handful of people. The world is too big to generalize on such a question. The same goes for why some white women seek black men..? preference. yes perhaps but from those who do prefer black men they like the lifestyle, or the freedom to express without hang ups. Each person have their reasons for a certain preference but to say a certain group is less desirable because of a few comments is a bit too much. Along my travels abroad, I have had the wonderful company of different women and the truth of the matter is all women have a story, a situation that made them positive or negative it is up to all people to listen to their stories without judging. Take time to hear the stories and life changing instances then ask your self are you looking at a woman regardless of color as only  sexually desirably or have  you  now gained a new sense of understanding of what is desirable and see all women who make you desire to appreciate their story and their strength in their life. Open your eyes and your heart and you will see that all women are desirable...

desidoll · Answer

I totally understnd how you feel about yourself ,even I'm not a black girl...I've got to say tht all this generalization came from those white media.The same thing in Asia,why do most people here tend to adore light/white skin a lot? Its because the media keep brainwashing tht white is everything.Just compare lightening skin product with tanning product(even now its getting famous),yet you can see which one used to be published on tv. So its obvious tht the generalization became even more stronger tho.About dating black girl I think most white parents don't really agree of this(my point of view).I have talked to LOTS of white guy and they tend to say they rather choose asian/Hispanic over black women and when I asked why the answer must be something like "its my preference"(even I know it has something to do with looks/skin colour)...But honestly I think tyra banks,selita ebanks,rihanna are more pretier than some white chicks,can you imagine if Kate Moss,Heidi and Miley have those skin colour,how will they look like? LMAO...Im rolling on the floor now.But those black celeb still can look stunning with those skin means tht they are pretty in any condition they r.The thing is they won't admit it directly.If you felt bad about this I'm going to say tht is not only you who facing this descrimination,in asia also the same thing happen for people who have dark complexion.Its regarded as low statue especially for the indians and chinese. First I used to blame and cursed Asian of having this kind of mind set thinking but when I think back its all started from western,n the Asian seems ATE their 'poison'. So wht you can do here is PLEASE IGNORE all those f***ing racist alien who keep making you felt low self esteem.Coz whtever you do and where you wanna run you can't do much about people mind set thinking.Wht you need to do now is just be yourself and don't ever change yourself for those retards.Again as I said,those media brought all this.Blck girls are pretty like other women as well,its just those KKK granbaby who object tht.Have a nice day;)

collegegrl18 · Answer

Ok I'm going to be completely honest with you now and I don't want any hateful comments. I'm black (Nigerian) and I live in a predominantly white area that is adjacent to a really diverse area. I also go to a predominantly white school. I think the reputation of black women has been tainted. We are seen in such a negative light because of the way we are portrayed in the media. Shows like Jerry Springer and Maury make us look like we are promiscuous and low down and also unintelligent. Also, have you noticed how movies always show black people in the ghetto or show black women as saying things like "um hmm sister girl" "oh no he didn't" and rolling their heads and smacking their teeth. It's ignorance and people that don't really understand black people are going to say and do things because of what they've seen from a few black people. The media also has a greater affect on people than they know. I think it really depends on the people you are around because I'm black but I get attention from all color guys and I like guys of all different races including my own. It's just the way things are in the world you're always going to get the ignorant people and the more open minded.

Also, it's the way some black girls act that causes them to be seen that way honestly there are some black girls that don't know how to act and people seeing that makes everyone think we are the same. I advise you to do what makes you happy and date whoever makes you happy. I know a whole bunch of white girls my friends included who are single so it's not just black girls (I blame it on the guys of today but whatevs haha). I definitely wouldn't judge all black girls because of what a handful do. It all depends on who raised you and where you were raised. Black girls usually have the hardest lives and go through a lot so they sometimes come off a little stronger than others. They don't mean to but you are a product of your environment. I'm Nigerian so I wasn't really taught to act the way other black girls around me usually do and I also live around a lot of white people so I'm also a product of my environment.

Don't feel bad about how you look because of your skin color because let me tell you black is beautiful. If you carry yourself well, take care of yourself people notice no matter what color you are and if their are racists then screw them they don't matter because they're stuck in a fantasy world where they haven't realized that yeah there are other races other than mine and they are no different than mine it's ignorance that's in these people and that's the way they will always be. Do what's best for you and celebrate being black because that's part of what makes you beautiful : )

coolgurl09 · Answer

This is a hard and touchy subject to discuss but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't respond. As an African American female I can honestly said there is absolutely no race/ethnicty in this entire world that I would like to be other than African American. People in this country especially have many brain washed for many centuries on "Blacks" in American and their signifance in the history book you will mainly see us talked about as slaves and there is no shame in that because it only made us stronger and wiser. Black people have the potential to dominant this world and I believe one main man started that trend already this year no need to say his name (B.O.). However, it has been imbedded in our minds that "white is right" or "lighter is better" and we all know that's not true at ALLL! When other races say I would date a black girl but not the dark skinned ones just the light skinned ones I find that not to be a perference but ignorance because in that case its all about imagine and being comfortable because that's what they used to do during the apartie that took place in South Africa during Mendela's era. The light-skinned blacks were acceptable but not the dark skinned one. If you;re going to like a race you like them as a WHOLE not by certain groups or types. Its like be dating a white guy who wears Tims and raps or drives cars with rims and trys to act black...what;s the point if I wanted to date and black guy I would go for the real thing not someone who is trying to be something he is not. My point blank is don't let anyone especially a man vaildate your beauty...yes Black women are strong, aggressive at times, and bald, but that's what makes us unique we don't put up with the bullsh*t like white, asian, or latino girls do. Their men can be cheating on them and disrespecting them and they won't say anything (not all because I can't generalize) but we don't and that's why most guys are intiminated by us. Believe me girl nomatter how racist a guy is he always looks because I get looks and compliments from all races not trying to bragg but black is beautiful and noone can deny that. You will find your prince charming someday. Hope this helps!

eddiearmstrong · Answer

i've read all these posts.imo it comes down to preference...period/i'm a white male who only dates women within my own race.and by the way anyone who creates an imaginary scenario in reply like

"really?what if a black girl...yada yada yada..would you consider dating her?"

is just looking to call or prove someone a racist/that's exactly where verbal replies in the way of scenarios come from/

i date within my own race as most people do.it's interesting to note how the media attempts to imply that most people or at least half,date interracially..even though its 2012 ,most people still date others that are of the same race/.most blacks date blacks,most whites date whites ,etc//

just as most people generally hang out with people of the same race.i think it's funny when someone implies that most people are racially diverse in the company they keep..that's totally not true/ dating and hanging interracially isn't as a humongous thing as media (movies and TV shows) likes to imply/i don't believe that most black guys date outside their race.i think it stands out to the women of their race when they do however.myself? I definitely like the pink parts of the female and the white skin accentuates those areas and makes them more appealing to my senses(lusts).that's a lot of white men that feel this way.this is why blondes have more fun so to speak./ I think the issue is preference and everyone has it.if not then they have no standards so to speak .it's comical to me when someone bashes preference as being discrimination..if I just so much as choose eggs over ham for dinner I'm being discrminatory.if I choose to date a brunette over a blond I'm being discriminatory.i don't date for the sake of being versatile.i date who I feel comfortable with and am attracted to ./if I want to date somebody, basing my experience or choice on versatility ,i'll move to china..i'm attracted to Asian women as well as blondes.but definitely not much else.dating has nothing to do with versatlity unless that's the reason your dating..to experience different lifestyles and foods and cultures.hell if that's what I decide to do,i'll move to Europe.but I'm looking for a girl that I'm attracted to ,to feel comfortable with have fun with.not to share culture and trade "we are the world" discussions with.

why you're seeing white guys and black guys dating more form the lighter gene pool I'm not truly certain.white guys will mostly date girls they feel comfortable with,meaning white girls.as I said,most people don't date for the sake of being versatile or diverse.in fact that's a rather stupid reason to date imo. I don't know why black men ,as a majority date outside their own race(and I'm not convinced they do).i've read here that white girls act different than black girls.i don't truly know if that's true but maybe white girls act differently than black girls.i'm not an expert but I suggest you take note of it when in public..it may not help but it can't hurt either

nooneimportant123 · Answer

I've read a few of these comments and I think they're a little bit ridiculous.

Some races have a higher percentage of hot women? Really? Or is it just that the United States is ~70% White and ~12% black. In European countries the percentage is much smaller.

So is it that there is a higher percentage of hot white women or is it that they're are simply more white women in the country and there for more hot white women. I would guarantee there are more UGLY white women then ugly black women in the United States, because white women out number black woman significantly.

Also anytime you start off by trying to clarify to people that you are NOT racist, it feels like you're trying to justify something that's about to be racist. Just speak your mind already and if its racist then its racist. For example, if I started off a sentence saying look my best friends black but black people really stink, it doesn't make the sentence any better knowing that you have a black friend. You're still making a generalization about a race of people based on the 3-4 black people you actually know.

Now to my real answer. I'm a white male and I'm married to a black female. We have a son together and are overall happy. In the past I have been with mainly white women with various other races sprinkled in the mix. I don't think that white men are not attracted to black women. I don't think black women are the least desirable.

I believe there's an intimidation factor that plays in whenever you're dealing with a woman outside of your race. You have to step out of your comfort zone quite a bit and that's hard to do. I think there's also a huge cultural factor that plays into it. Even I asked myself what my family would think if I brought back a black woman to our white family. How would she be treated? Would they accept her? Would someone say something racist? Those were all questions I had to deal with.

That makes dating inter-racial very difficult and some people might not find it worth their time.

Bottom line is its more about our society then anything. We need to keep in mind that this is something new to many people. I mean my father (I'm 29) was part of the de-segregation of schools. We've come a very long way in a very short period of time and as my fathers generation dies off and probably mine as well we won't even think of race as an issue anymore.

Doesn't matter black, white, asian, or whatever else. It's all the same at the end of the day. Trust me though when I was single I was all for white men that didn't want anything to do with black women or any other non-white women. It just makes it that much easier for those of us who are open minded about inter-racial dating.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow, I'm a beautiful black woman with pretty light skin, brown eyes, extremely smooth skin, lovely plump lips, long black curly hair, will be obtaining my B.A soon in psychology this May from a very prestigious university and I am on my way to becoming all that God wants me to be. I am not so many of these ridiculous stereotypes listed below. Loud, ghetto, associating with gangsters, uneducated, rude, demanding, surrounded by big black men, mean fathers...omg. My father is the nicest and most respectful man I have ever met. I grew up in the suburbs and attended a great school. This is just crazy; these answers I mean. It's like nothing I've ever heard before.. I am none of that and I had no idea so many men thought that way about my race. It really opens my eyes to how I must be viewed when I'm simply walking down the street...

I've had three boyfriends. One black, one Caucasian, and the one I'm engaged to now is Italian and Caucasian and he treats me like a princess and I make sure I give him the same treatment, if not better because I love him for who he is and he loves me who I am. He Loves the way I look, feel, smell, sound, think, etc. Sure we have a little extra on our backsides, but I've never met a man who despised that. I've always been told I look like Amerie the singer but I never accepted such a spectacular compliment because that woman is gorgeous! Just look at her. How can you not like that!?

Reading these answers...I am simply appalled and flabbergasted at how ignorant so many people in this world are. I know for a fact that I'm a beautiful black woman and I don't care if anyone thinks otherwise and neither should the person asking this question. I really don't understand how some of you men cannot be attracted to all these beautiful women...you know what. maybe I should list a few.

Tyra Banks, Gabrielle Union, Raven Symone, Megalyn echikunwoke, Rihanna, Lauren London, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Halle Berry, Dorthy Dandrige, Taraji P Henson, Diana Ross, Jada Pinkett-smith, Vivica A. Fox, Tia and Tamera Mowry, Naomi Campbell, Iman, Jennifer Hudson, Meagan Good, Toni Braxton, Mariah Carey, Amerie, Katerina Graham, Leona Lewis, Janet Jackson, Michelle Obama...and the list can go on and on. These are just the women off the top of my head and I've met as equally physically and mentally beautiful black women in person as well.

All beautiful black women. Intelligent women. Lovely, classy, nice women...Black Girls Rock! Just give the right ones a try, don't judge us all by the ones who you have met. :-)

Kay, I'm done. :-)

Malapropian · Answer

I'm Caucasian, I've seen many, many absolutely beautiful black women living on the West coast. I truly believe that what it comes down to is numbers. What do I mean?

Think about it: no matter which ethnicity you're a part of, those that are considered 'Attractive' of that ethnicity, by any standards, are in the 99th percentile. Sadly, I think, most of the world's population don't live up to various societies' rigidly high standards of beauty, thus labeling them unattractive.

So it doesn't matter at all which ethnicity you are, only a few will have the 'correct' combination of bone structure, metabolism, skin tone, social background and mannerism that lands one in the "pretty" category. That being the case, if you're exposed to less attractive white women all your life, you're 'used' to that 'type' of ugly, and you don't notice it as much. Whereas when judging the overall beauty of the women (or men) of a different ethnicity, people may tend to not

overlook those less attractive in that category, as they do with whichever ethnicity they're more familiar when deciding whether or not those kinds of girls are ugly.

So, are black women less desirable than women of another ethnicity? Absolutely not. It's all about who you are and where you come from, what ethnic version of "ugly" you used to.

Many on this thread mentioned racism as a reason, and I agree. Uber-stupid bigots are responsible for much of the anti-black sentiment that's come across in the world today. It's disgusting and anti-human to be so god-damn, freaking idiotic, the stupid swine. (I hate racists)

Also, the 'black culture', was mentioned as a reason, and this I say is not racist, but intellectualist. I see people of any color wearing 'gangsta' clothes, listening to rap and I immediately think they're posers. White, black, latino and asian people do this, and I think such people equally silly.

Agh, I hate that black women, who ARE beautiful, receive such insults. Black women ARE beautiful, and ALL women from any ethnicity deserve the respect, honor and chivalry that is so absent in our many different cultures today.

P.S., from a scientific point of view, one could argue that Black women are Superior because more pigmentation (darker skin) in the skin protects against harmful UV rays much better. And Zoe Saldana is one the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and I love Avatar, because she did a voice in it.

Be proud of being black, and the fact that you've noticed such ridiculous biases means you're a forward thinking person!

-J

hisangel · Answer

Oh honey, don't let this get to you. I think you need to understand that there is a difference for a man between being attracted to a woman physically and being attracted to a woman where you want to date her.

Some of the white guys around you would loss their minds at the thought of having sex with you. Men love variety. They really are curious what all women look like naked. So a man can be immensely attracted to a woman, regardless of race, but he may not ever pursue a relationship with her.

Men hate rejection. Women do too but men have to face it more since they are the ones asking out the other person. So what happens? Men become very logical about what choices they have to make. A guy may see you, think you are beautiful, but logically he thinks you only date black guys or their is a "cultural difference" (even if you grew up in the same culture) or he thinks that you may not be attracted to him. Men go for women they think they can get. Black women are very hard for most men to approach because they are stereotypically strong, confident, ball busters. And a lot of men, especially those in white culture, don't know how to handle it.

A perfect example of this is my best friend and her sister. They are half black and live in a white community. Everyone says they look alike so physically they really aren't too different. And before you assume they are both models, they aren't. They are both pretty but average also. But my friend has been asked out by white men, Mexican men, black men, and Asian men. And she is currently with a Jewish guy. While her sister has never been asked out. Why? Because my friend is sweeter in personality. She is kind and gentle and compassionate. When we go out together, I just see her flash that sweet smile and those doe eyes at a guy and he melts. He doesn't care if she is purple, you can tell he is thinking up how he can pick up on her cause he thinks he has a chance now. But her sister is a hard ass. Guys are afraid to ask her out.

I'm not saying you should change your personality. Just understand that a lot of the guys that know you may think you would never date them in a million years even if they find you stunning.

So hang in there. One day a guy who is brave enough will step up.

norwayyy · Answer

First of all, I want to say that I'm a 20 year old white male, and that I'm NOT a racist. By that, I mean that I treat people no matter what race the same. It all comes down to character.

So, being a racist has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with sexual desires, what so ever.

It is important that people get this straight, because I get really tired of reading accusations of white guys being racists- based on what they find sexually attractive.

To all girls realding this, the harsh reality is that men focus on a woman's physical appearance at the early stages of bonding intimately with her, or even before considering taking things to the "next level" with her. That's just how we men are.. don't blame us, just blame f***in nature.. I'm not saying that personality isn't important, but to most men, what catches the eye first is VERY crucial...

When it comes to femininity, I know that femininity is relative.. but the way I understood things, the creator of this thread wanted a reason to why "black girls are the least desireable for non black guys".

So as a non black guy I will answer to why I find white women more attractive. Though many men will share my opinion, I must mention that this is a personal answer. Of course, other non blacks will have different opinions than me. As staded a billion times before in this thread, white women TEND to have more feminine features than black women. Like hair texture, pitch of voice, skin texture, general body shape and so on.. they also tend to have a ligther, sweeter body odor. (body odor is very underrated.. if a woman smells good, it's a big BIG plus.. I bet most guys agree with me here...) And there is also something about fair skin. It just appears to be more feminine to me. Wide noses, frizzy hair, rugged skin, bulky body structures, dark voices and so on just doesn't appear SEXY to me. It doesn't give me a hard on... So if anyone want's to call me a racist, you're free to do so. But if you do, I would say that you don't see the big picture..

Just because I don't find a woman sexually appealing, does not mean that I will have a racist attitude towards her! Come on, that's ridiculous..

I know a couple of girls that have great personalities, and on the other hand look butt ugly.. Why the hell whould I treat these girls badly just because I don't find them attractive? Just because I don't want to take a girl with me to bed, doesn't mean that I won't treat her with respect, as a fellow human being! As I said, it all comes down to character..

maybe a little off topic here towards the end.. but still...

SMART2U · Answer

First of all, who told told you that black women are ugly?! You do not let anyone else tell you what you are, you simply and proudly be who and what you want to be.

It is true that mostly what you see on t.v. is mostly white women, but that is the racist neglect of Hollywood. However, neither should Hollywood dictate to you how beautiful you are.

If others can not deal with the strength and beauty that black women have that is their problem.

Certainly there are black women who do not take care of themselves, that is very unattractive, however, I have seen it in every race, and it is just as unattractive.

From the lightest of the light to the darkest of the dark skinned black women, from their beautiful sexy hair and their fine sculpted bodies which God gave only to black women. Black women are simply gorgeous.

You can throw out most of this trash these people are talking about, especially Taylor 4000, who is he Doctor Ruth Jr. He sounds extremely stupid. Black women have very soft skin and in every facet he mentioned the tonal qualities and color are based upon genetic make up. So therefore, why hold something against someone beyond their control, heck, you not going to see those areas but a few moments at a time anyway. WORD! Just because you listen to R&B does not mean you are not a racist, R&B music is just something you may tolerate. Nothing defines any of us, except the way we treat others.

I believe God did a masterful job on all women, but, for me, He put something in a black woman that no other woman has. I can not put my finger on it, I just know that I love it.

Now, I will say that over all, I have heard a many conversations from all sorts of women and unfortunately black women are the least likely to do whatever it takes to please their man. Now, I am not talking about being a fool for someone, I am simply saying that when you really love someone and it is mutual, there are no limits to what both parties ought to do to satiate each other. But, more often than not, black women tend not to compromise as easily as other races. Attitude will make or break any and every facet of life.

I am a light skinned black man. I have been married to my beautiful black wife for seventeen years. We have a beautiful marriage. I have never cheated on her and I never will. Remember, you have to make a conscience choice to cheat. It does not happen by accident, that is how I can say I never will, because I do not desire to.

We do have disagreements, but we do not get loud and bash each other, we always show respect under all circumstances.

Well, in conclusion, I love my blackness, I love my black women (in general), I think all race of women are beautiful. I LOVE LIFE.

I hope this gives you some positive insight from another perspective.

GOOD LUCK

Anonymous · Answer

African American women, more often than not listen to terrible garbage for music. It's hard to be around someone who listened to awful noise. And especially when it is not only the preferred music, but the only music they listen to. I mean really. R&B is trash. Kanye is trash. African American women also tend to be very loud and boisterous. Some men don't like strong willed, loudly opinionated women. African American women tend to embody this whilst Asian women (the most typically preferred) are known for being quiet and submissive. We still live in a society where men typically want a submissive woman who doesn't challenge them. African American women are very strong willed and will challenge someone they disagree with. Often loudly. It's also common to see African American women acting belligerent and sassy. Again, most men don't want to be challenged or threatened by a woman. African American women tend to be thicker and larger on average than women of other races. This isn't as desirable to Asian or white males although to some it can be the primary reason African American women Te attractive. But the term exaggerated curves seems to fit sometimes and I think the extremity of the curvaceousness of most African American women is too much for some. African American women have larger bone structure, which to white or Asian or even sometimes Hispanic males can be construed as masculine. It's less often to find the typical western/Asian traits of femininity in African American women whose bone structure isn't as delicate. The jaw lines and forehead shape are stronger than women of other races. Lastly two reasons that are much more rarely admitted publicly that I have heard from many white, Asian and Hispanic males are that African American women tend to have a stronger scent (body odor or pharamones or melanin) than women with fairer skin and that the darker alone time around the pubic region is less pleasing to some as it might look "unclean". Personally I find women of all races and colors attractive based on their own demeanor and character. But these are the facts I have been given by many male friends and acquaintances over the years.

chut-chut- · Answer

So many have responded but I won't shy away from contributing because you're obviously searching for feedback.

As an American born Nigerian, I can say that this society is highly obsessed with race (which was created around the mid 1800's by whites to maintain a sense of social order meaning it's a standard that was invented aka imaginary) and it's sad because the stereotypes that come with each color can be limiting. With that said, you claim there are many negative things being put in the media, noting the aforementioned, who controls most of the media? Naturally, aren't they going to portray black females as the antithesis of everything beautiful and attractive? With that said, it's not that hard to figure out why the non-blacks who have never come in contact with black females wouldn't want to and those who have the chance, approach with caution. The ones who do cross the line are the ones who learn for themselves what is fact and fiction when it comes to black females.

If you disregard the comments from those who obviously are basing their impressions of black females on slanted/bias mainstream media (and maybe a little BET) you'll find that those who have given black females a try either like or dislike them based on their PERSONALITY (yes, some are going on looks ok =] ). You admit to having low self esteem and if it's pervasive in person as it is in your comments, then more than likely, guys detect that and may be turned off by it. I can't tell you to be a stronger person because it's not enough to instruct someone to do something, they have to recognize the need for change.

You go to a school where you are the minority and I can only imagine how draining it must be to try to conform yet never fit in must be but take heart. You can still be you and be A OK. You appear to be in an environment that lacks balance and being from New York City, diversity is everywhere so I'm never really overwhelmed with one race over another and it's a beautiful thing and as a result there isn't one particular standard per se. Short of being able to change your environment, I think you should talk to your parents, and turn to your family for strength and affirmations that you are a beautiful individual as I'm sure you are.

Not to joke but put India Arie's Brown Skin on repeat each morning if you need a reminder of how beautiful your assets are ... take care =] Feel free to message me privately.

JayOkay · Answer

Well before I even start to say anything, let me tell you one thing I can tell about you: You are very smart. I can tell by the way you articulate yourself. You're smart. If you find your self confidence, you will be appealing to men, because a smart, confident girl IS pretty.

Okay, with that being said, I should chime in and say I will never and could NEVER date a Black woman. I'm bi-racial (B/W) and I don't find Black women attractive in any way. I can say that it is not because of the "media", as both of my parents taught me not to be indoctrinated into being a media brainwashed child. I don't hate my mom (a Black woman) and I don't hate myself.

I don't understand why it's a problem. And before I say why I won't date a Black woman, let me explain that I know that generalizations don't apply to everyone and not everyone fit stereotypes. When I look at Black women overall, as a whole, I see masculinity. Dark skin is masculine to me, big lips are masculine, having a high muscle mass is masculine to me and I'm not attracted to it. I don't want to look at a woman who looks like ME (not because I "self-hate" but because I'm a MAN), and I don't want to look at a woman who looks like my mother (not because I hate her but because she's my MOM). I don't understand how you tell that one guy "Spartwallis" that he's wrong because he's Black and "he has the same features that are a turn off". Online, I see a lot of Black girls saying that to Black men who don't want a Black girl. Think of it like this: Don't no man want a girl with a PENIS right? Is it self hate? No. I have heavy chest hair, should I get a woman with heavy chest hair so I don't self-hate? Naw it doesn't work like that.

Other than that, it's just that indescribible sexual attraction. I don't have any of that for Black girls. The vaginas look so offputting and the dark nipples, dark labia. The look in their eyes when you are close and intimate isn't the same as with other girls, even their hair and the way they just look when they are intimate is such a turn off. I'm not tryin to be vulgar but I can't get aroused with them. It's not a racial thing though because I'd date anything but a Black woman, I'd go for Asians or Whites or Latinas or Middle Easterners or anything other than a Black girl. It's not that Black girls aren't pretty, it's just that they don't turn ME on ever.

Not to mention the "strong Black woman" problem that has some how found its way from the inner city ghetto to the mainstream and suburban Black society. Notice all these people in here agreeing about Black women havin the most stank attitudes and acting masculine and boorish and aggressive. Even looking at smart, upstanding, educated Black women, the attitude is the same - dominating, aggressive, lack of femininity, so much disdain towards men. Yes, it even applies to those who are not ghetto. I ran out of space, but this is my overall take on Black women. Not all, of course.

ohmylongjohnson · Answer

Wow, how did I stumble onto this page?

I have to respond though. A lot of these responses are kinda racist and based on stereotypes that I find to be mostly untrue or built on total misunderstandings or people being brainwashed by standard culture.

Girl, let me help you out. I'm a black woman. I grew up in "the ghetto," learned to talk white, act white, went to an Ivy League school, and learned to schmooze with professionals, politicians, and wealthy people. That BS was a betrayal of who I am. So I didn't last long in that world.

Yet I find that now, now that I'm true to myself, I tend to be universally liked. I have no trouble attracting men of all colors. I'm not telling you this to brag but to make a point, so hear me out. I'm thirty and I can tell you straight up: I am nobody but myself, I don't CARE what anybody thinks of me, and THAT is what makes me attractive. Believe me, it took me a very long time, a lot of soul-searching, and a lot of painful transformations to reach this point. But when what other people thought stopped mattering to me--that's when I became the girl everybody wanted.

Eventually, I stopped "talking white" (code-switching) for other peoples' benefit. I wear my own style, wear my hair however I feel like wearing it, straight or curly--it doesn't matter, and act, well, like me. Simply put, I do whatever makes ME feel good, because we are far past the time when black women should be letting others decide how we look and act.

Yoko Ono and John Lennon once said "woman is the n*gger" of the world," without realizing that there is something worse than being a "n*gger" and that's being a "n*gger" woman. The burden on black womens' backs is greater than any burden in the world. We are the most oppressed demographic in the US, yet we have incredible strength. Black women contribute more proportionally to our communities, and we are often the matriarchs of our families. In addition, we deal with attitudes like the ones expressed in this forum, attitudes that are designed to make us feel inferior. Recognize that those attitudes are wrong. Recognize your own strength.

Don't EVER, EVER, EVER let someone not wanting to date you destroy your self esteem. That is utter bull. Be yourself. Be you. Above all, LOVE yourself because, my dear, you deserve it. Look at the answers here and ask yourself if you would even WANT to date men like this. Who think these things about black women. Who would judge you this way. You wouldn't. I don't put any stock in it, but I've heard men say they prefer white women because white women are easier to control. C'mon. This is ALL some misogynistic, racist crap. Forget it. Throw it out.

Seriously. I know it sounds cliche, but please, please, be yourself, surround yourself with people who will be themselves, find a fellow who will be himself. Be an individual and seek a partner who is an individual. Don't ask fools on the internet for their opinion on who you are. You are sacred.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm just gonna say this and be finished...

I'm black...I have green eyes, I'm slender, smart (Studying to be an elementary ed teacher with concentrations in English and Art), social, and funny.

I'm not loud (I'm actually quite shy until I'm comfortable in my surroundings, and even then you can't hear me from across a room), I don't have this "body odor" that some guys claim black women have. I get more white men hitting and flirting with me than my own race.

I have really soft skin/hair that I take care of because it's the only body I have.

I hate sweat pants and dress up every day in nice clothing.

I don't listen to the typical "black people" (Stress the quotes) music. In fact I listen to indie, trance, classical and experimental music.

I didn't date until my sr year of high school and my first boyfriend was white and native American.

My second boyfriend (we just recently broke up, and I was engaged with) was fully white, brown hair, blue eyes.

All my boyfriends (the only two I've had) have been white...and I've gotten no complaints in bed about being "larger/looser" down there (as some anon said)

It's all personal preference.

Black women and Indian women, imo are the most beautiful women around.

I think white women are just plain and average and lack the unique features that are found in black women and all my friends are white. Also, I've seen red and blond (with freckles) natural haired black women.

I myself am an example of an "un-ordinary" (and I stress the quotes) trait seen in black women...with my green eyes...but realize, Africa is the home of all races, there is more genetic difference there than anywhere else on the globe. Everyone is an individual, and black women should not be categorized under such stereotypical bias.

There are those loud obnoxious black "ghetto" women that make me so upset because they create bad names for my race. I hate it, and I don't associate myself with those women because they are embarrassing. Then I hear from women of my own race that I think I'm "better than them," that's not the case...I just don't like their attitudes and the way they carry themselves and I refuse to be lumped in with them.

As for hair, I love my hair, I wear extensions (clip ins) and I wear my natural hair, which is collarbone length. And I love getting my hair played with.

GUYS WHO THINK THAT BLACK WOMEN ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO WEAR EXTENSIONS ARE BLIND AS F***. I've seen more white women wear extensions than black women.

GUYS WHO SAY WE CAN'T COMPETE WITH BRUNETTES...wtf? Most African American women are brunettes...

Another thing, if not for the media and our history, other races wouldn't be so brain washed about black people in general. We are beautiful...we are artist, poets, business men/women, and successful...we are not ALL the same.

Go out and meet the right people, and maybe you'll think differently.

Anonymous · Answer

i think it comes from personal experience...i admire rihanna and beyonce and think theyre are stunning and gorgeous with amazing personalities...i also think michelle obama is an awesome first lady I like how she carries herself...

but I live in new york where there is a ton of multiculture widely accepted...no racism nothing...everyone is a different race...and happy...

but when you get to down comparing races or different cultures, you do end up generalizing them from your personal experience...

i have nothing against black people or black women, but I've always had a bad experience with them for some reason...i work in a retail store being a college student...and compared to women of other races, asian, indian, white, hispanic, etc black women have been so rude to me, they are sometimes violent and not sincere, they can be overcontrolling, and treat me like crap for no reason...they don't have manners sometimes and I'm trying to say this in the most harmless and yet honest way from my own personal experience...but theyre just different from what populations are usually used to. I work in a clothing store, and whenever a black woman comes asking me for help, I have to actually be prepared to deal with her, or she just makes me nervous because I feel like she's gonna make a scene again.

i also went to public school, and while other raced girls were studying, doing good in school, happy with friends, just being normal kids, I saw blck girls get in fights in the hallway, get suspended, get hit by boys, theyre just so loud and obnoxious sometimes and whereever they go and do they end up making a scene.

its just not something people are used to and they feel scared by them...at least I do...however there are some black women who are totally opposite and sweetest things I've ever seen!

im sorry to offend anyone, I just speak from my personal experience, I've been a victim for the first time in my life, when in the same store I work at, a black woman came up to me out of nowhere trying to buy a $30 shirt asking me to lower the price and I coulnt, I would lose my job, and she accused me of being racist and just because she was black I wouldn't risk losing my job in order for her to spend less money on a shirt.

and this isn't the first time, I have lots of experiences and only black women have made me upset.

Anonymous · Answer

Black women are my favorites hands down!! Yes I like white women but my favorite taste is chocolate.

My prom date in high school happened to be a black girl and we dated for 22 months after that and heck if she hand't moved across the country we'd be married long time now. I haven't gone back since and I have no real intention to do so because I find black ladies just gorgeous in general, from their beautiful personalities to their killer smiles you ladies ROCK!!!

I believe the reason black women/girls are perceived as "undesirable" is because Hollywood and the entertainment industry promotes and glamorizes the negative stereotypes of black women and black folks in general. The media then feeds these stereotypes to the general public and then we the people go out into the world with these misconceptions of what other people are all about with little to no exposure to them in real life. We tend to allow society and celebrities dictate and influence how we should live our lives and what lifestyles we choose to live instead of thinking for ourselves outside the box.

I get asked all the time "how did you get the black girl?" from my friends who are white males so their is defiantly an interest out there for you beautiful ladies, but both parties (white boys and black girls) seem to think or fear that the other has no interest in them so they pay them little to no attention and often miss out on golden opportunities for romance. We simply need to show more openness to each other and stop blowing each other off from negative stereotypes or myths that have been ingrained into our minds by society and communities.

I dated another black women who happened to have two kids and she was beautiful and an excellent mother. However her baby daddies soon grew super jealous of us because she was very happy in the relationship and one of them happened to be a former gang member so he started treating her and it only escalated once I stood up to him and told him off so we had to end our relationship and she moved out of state BUT we still keep in touch and I'm proud to say she is now engaged to be married. From my experiences a lot of baby daddies seem to get super jealous when the black women who he took for granted gets into a happy and healthy relationship, especially if it's with a white man and they start threatening them as a way to scare them away from dating out or dating quality men in general.

I am proud of my attraction to black women! You ladies rock!!!

SecretWeapon · Answer

I am pissed the F off and I'm going to say why. Quite honestly nothing annoys me more in these types of discussions than the "not all black women are like that" cop out. That's really all it is, a cop out. It doesn't have to be ALL black women..the keyword is MOST black women and yes that's an awful freaking lot who fit into the reasons why no man will go near them including black ones.

First things first, black women need to get over this stupid "I need a black man this, I need a black man that, black men black men black men!" You never hear any, and I mean ANY other race of woman talk like this. Black women are so narrow minded which men like myself find very unattractive. I get that you are really attracted to men who share a similar ethnic background as you but why does that have to be the be all end all as far as who you'll date? Then in an effort to be with this so called "good black man" you pick some jackass whose been incarcerated and has 5 kids with 4 different women.

Second thing, and I don't know if anyone reading this noticed this, but the black women who take super good care of themselves by showering and relaxing their hair to look supermodel pretty almost ALWAYS go for white guys only unless she meets a pro athlete black man. And unfortunately, as others here have said, white guys generally don't want black women because of the stares/comments from ignorant black people and stupid narrow minded white people.

The third point I'd like to make is something black women never want to admit. They treated everyone like sh*t during their grade school years. Do you think any black woman was going crazy over Tiger Woods before he became rich and famous? Psh no. They wanted someone dark skinned, thuggish, tall, and preferably dumb as hell. Any intelligent black guy growing up, he was ignored and made fun of for being smart and "white washed". White guys, ignored. Asian guys, ignored. Looking back on that treatment throughout the years as a kid/teenager, why would any guy be attracted to someone who ridiculed him ignored him throughout his growing up years?

Fourth and last point, let's talk about the looks. Some guys like the natural look, some like the relaxed hair look. I personally like the relaxed hair because women with short hair look dyke-ey and manly. Unfortunately that is more so the case for black women because they and their men share the same facial features and short hair can make it a little uncomfortable to figure out if it's a man or a woman. Never ever ever wear those stupid blue contacts, it looks retarded. Your red and blond weaves look equally as retarded.

Learn to take care of yourselves and be feminine, black girls, and maybe more men will not think twice about approaching you. I could go on and on about the attitudes but I think that's been said enough here. Black women are the least attractive because they market themselves as unattractive.

BloodMerchant · Answer

What's so wrong about having preferences? I'm just not attracted to them, period, end of story. Of course, most attraction is on a subconscious level. Of course you're going to call me a 'racist' simply because I don't date black girls. I just don't. You can't force anyone to like something that they're not attracted to, I can't make all girls around the world like Asian men, just as you can't make all men around the world like black girls. It's just that simple.

If race is truly a social construct, so let's say a white man and a white woman have a child. The baby comes out black. Now there would be two reasons: The wife cheated on her husband with a black man (most likely), or there is no such thing as race, as you have said before. Because if race is truly a social construct, then two white people, then there is a 50/50 chance that the child will either come out white or come out non-white.

Now, there are plenty of African albinos (meaning that they are racially black but have white skin). I'm not attracted to African albinos either, because they have many of the same features as black people, the only difference is their skin color. In any case, there is much more to race than just skin color.

Just because I hold a conservative opinion does not mean you can bash me on the basis of some type of racial insensitivity.

To answer your question, I just have no idea why. It's just the vibes, my intuition, my subconscious.

You can't force anyone to like a specific race, just because you happen to disagree with me on the basis of egalitarianism.

Guys are picky. Girls are picky. They're both picky when it comes to a lot of things, especially what they find attractive. It may sound racist, it may sound prejudicial, but that's their choice. In the end, we're all human with different tastes and differences. If we're all the same, we'd be robots. These differences, even genetic differences, makes a person what he is. So I don't have to sing kumbaya with you, because I choose not to. You can't force anyone to sing kumbaya against their will.

All I have to say now is that I am happy to be myself, that I'm not part of the sheeple.

rgdesigns · Answer

I'm mixed Hispanic and white and I have dated a few black girls before marrying a Hispanic female with black features. :)

Attitude kills it. There are many Black females that make it bad for the rest. It's the really ghetto ones that go all cobra in public and humiliate a man. These certain woman also disrespect men and are overbearing. It's a large percentage of Black American women. Foreign black women often do not share these traits. All my black male friends don't like the drama or BS. This generalization that looms around all Black American women will remain until there is a major shift in the culture. It's a shame that this flag goes up for all black women, even foreign ones. The Meme that drives it needs to be severed but is highly unlikely that this will ever change. The way I see this changing is when the American mixing pot is stirred so much there is no black or white and everyone is just different shades of brown.

My advice to you is to travel. Acculturate yourself to as many cultures as possible. Travel to Africa and experience the people. If that's not possible for you at this time meet people online. Too many years of bitterness is caused by the byproduct of slavery generations ago. Growing up Black in America can jade someone I imagine, it's time to shed all that mess.

Now that attitude is addressed next would be aesthetics. I've always liked black women to look black. Blond hair? Really?... Don't wear blue contacts. Don't over do ornamentation. Keep it classy and carry yourself like you're worth $1M. Maintain your skin, cocoa butter stinks with sweat so use something else. Don't look like Little Kim in 90s. I love me the Kelly Rawlings look. If you can't grow long hair then don't, and don't fake it. If you have a voluptuous rump don't hang it out, accentuate it with some properly fitted pants that cover yet accentuate.

Bottom line, Classy and Dignified. Always keep your cool. Don't Cobra.

Oh and try different kinds of dudes. Why not, this is the 21st century.

helloman125 · Answer

Ok here's a good way to look at it. It's logical that if black girls are less successful in the dating world than non-black girls, then males (of whatever color) are less attracted to them. Let's be real here. Let's be scientific, objective, observe the populations as a whole, leave our own personal preferences aside, and not be so concerned about the human factor (sensitivity and political correctness). It sucks, but the reality is that black girls are less desirable. The original question was "I would like to know what it is about black girls that's so unattractive?", not something like "Do YOU think black girls are attractive?". The person asking the question is already living through this situation, hence she is asking us this.

So the answer to the question - Black girls are relatively unattractive because homo sapiens prefer lighter skin and features in their mates. Let me go further with this. Traditionally, as animals, men are the hunters. Women don't have to worry about this. Being hunters, men are out in the field or the jungle getting dirty, getting physical, in order to acquire resources. That's why white women prefer a "tan" and strong white man, because it indicates that they are out in the sun. On the other hand, women should be fair of skin, since they are physically weaker and take care of offspring, and thus not out in the sun. Men also prefer thinner (but not too thin) women due to a similar concept; a fat woman indicates an abundance of resources, and thus no dependence on a man to 'hunt' for her.

I believe that's the answer. About your self esteem, don't be blue about it, though it will be hard sometimes. The color of your skin is never going to change. In my opinion, the best thing you can do is work hard and educate yourself. Become valuable to society in whatever way you want. There's a lot of other negative stereotypes about the black community (men and women) that still exist. There are a lot of well respected black women out there in the United States and all over the world. Strive to become one of them, and dating will be easier. You can always say that it isn't fair that white women will have easier lives. But life's not fair. And you have a much better life filled with opportunities than many of your African counterparts. You have the right idea about staying focused on academia. All you can do is change yourself, and if enough members of the black community step up then the world around them will hopefully finally accept them as social and economic equals.

jrode · Answer

Another person who commented mentioned poor hygiene and another commented on the attitudes of black women.  I think hygiene and attitude are attributable to the fact that black women are the least desired women, but there are other reasons as well.   The vast majority of black women are jealous of and despise white women and that reflects in their attitude.  In the movie, "Precious," the morbidly overweight dark skinned black girl looks in the mirror and fantasizes she's white, thin, blond haired, blue eyed.  That was a moment of truth for black women everywhere.  Suggest that to any black woman and she will fly into a ghetto rage or raise her hand and adopt the typical black girl ghetto attitude of "listen to the hand".  Black women vehemently deny that they are unattractive and that even their own men prefer white women over black women.  That's not to say black men and other men won't have sex with black women, but it's usually for sex only with no hint of a relationship.  Black women live in denial even tho' the vast majority will never experience having a loving husband and legitimate children.  The whole world knows this but black women will fly into rage if anyone suggests this.  Black women will NOT accept the truth.  Rather than work on their appearance, lose weight, practice hygiene (I have never heard anyone say black women smell good), become educated so they can carry on an intelligent conversation, they choose to stay the same.  White women and women of other races work on improving their appearance and toning their physiques.   They educate themselves about good hygiene, makeup, etc.  and if they have an unpleasant odor about them, they will go to a doctor to find a cure for the odor.   Black women in general have defensive, combative dispositions.   The majority are loud and unlady-like.  Many black girls physically fight, hit, punch, slap.  Even black mothers do this to their children.  All of those attributes and demonstrations  are usually associated with male  behavior and with men rather than women.  Black women exhibit masculine traits.  Because ALL males have egos, men in general prefer women of other races who have been  taught to respect themselves, to be kind, to be feminine -- and all of those traits compliment the male ego rather than compete with it.  No man wants to be married to a woman who looks, acts, talks and smells like a man.  It's more a matter of what men, in general, need from a woman that they can't find in the average black woman.

bettsyboy · Answer

Honestly, I am speaking with all honesty here and I know this might come off as racist but...

the ones who really find black women undesirable, are many black men.

Black men, influenced by Kanye West, Snoop Dogg and other famous, influential black men have taken their influence and decided to discard even the most beautiful black women in favor of any white girl they can get their hands on, they see having a black girl with them as something to bring them down, while a white girl is meant to show that they're a "real man"

Personally I'm a white guy, I have pale skin, my hair shines blonde when in the sun but usually it looks brown, my eyes are a really light shade of blue and I LOVE black girls, when I see a black girl at the night club, I can barely keep my eyes off her, and when I might be confident while talking to an Asian or white girl, my knees get weak and I start stuttering when talking to a black girl.

Anyway, the only ones who willfully disregard black women and say black women are ugly are black MEN, us non-black men... either we think you're attractive or we don't, that all comes down to preference, we hold no animosity to you, the vast majority of us wouldn't join a forum just to call black girls ugly, if you're a nice girl, with a nice smile and a healthy body, you'll have white, asian, Indian etc... all kinds of guys clambering over each-other just to be with you, while black men are off chasing some overweight white girl.

Married-in-PA · Answer

Unattractive?... I have known many black (and white women) in my time. When I went to school, I even dated a few ladies, who happened to be black. And I can tell you this: In our cruel world, there are some hard truths, and one of these is the whole race issue.

But as far as I am concerned, I never judge any person on this basis. If I liked a girl, it was because she was hot. I don't care if she was white, black or purple. I think race, unfortunately gets too much attention in our Society.

For instance, who Doesn't like Denzel? He's one of the greatest actors of our time. Yet, I can't stand some of these rapper-punks, because they are not gentleman.

What kinda guy can't admit that Ms. Beyonce Knowles isn't just delicious?! My God, I would give my right arm to share a pair of whiskeys with her...

On the other hand, Paris Hilton? Are you freakin' kidding me? The woman looks like she got hit in the ass with a shovel!

No, it's all about class, not skin color. I say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I like to occasionally steal a glance or two at a healthy, sexy young black chick, when my wife isn't lookin...

juicebag · Answer

What is it about black girls that's so unattractive? I wouldn't know, as I am so hot for a lot black gals I know.

I do understand what this is all about though... When messing around on HotOrNot, I noticed that great looking black gals who would be an 8 or 9 in my books will tend to score a 6 or 7 (rated by predominately white male audience). There is definitely some difference between how my friends and I view the level of attractiveness for most black women. I see hot white gal, my friends see hot white gal. I see hot black gal, my friends are like, NO.

Far from holding my head up high as a white man and being uppity about the white race on how we have such high quality women among our ranks and high standards for the women we want to be with, I want to take this opportunity to call my friends out for being the morons they are. To me, it doesn't necessarily show they have great taste in gals by having the hots for women who are almost exclusively white (Asian occasionally), but it definitely shows they are missing out on a lot of great gals... Black gals!

Black ladies, many you are so very fine in my eyes.

amay4 · Answer

I may not be a guy, but as a young black woman all I want to say to you is the only people worth your time are the people who accept you for who you are as a person.I have struggled with the same but now that I am almost twenty I see the beauty in all cultures and ethnicities. Remember, you don't wake up very morning to impress people, so they don't matter. Once you go to college, you'll be exposed to more diversity which will definitely be good for you. I went to a predominantly white school but had no problems. I dated white, Asian and black boys and had many friends of different races. It all depends on where you are what you'll experience will be.  I've learned that we are made in God's image, so if someone doesn't like your sun kissed skin, or hair that reaches up to the heavens in tight curls, or full lips, then them and their preferences can kick rocks and you keep you pretty head held high. If they have a problem with who you are, it is not your problems, tell them that is between them and God. One thing a lot of my guy friends say they like in any woman,especially black women are the ones who are confident (not condescending), who take good care of themselves and are just geniunely good people. And whether they want to wear their hair naturally or not is a personal choice and fine with them. Don't go looking for others to accept you. People who truly like you for who you are will find you. I think all women are gorgeous and the media has this ill way of making women feel that we are not adequate and they always change their mind on what's in style. None of these things matter. Be good to yourself and others and you will be blessed. I say when its time to go to college whether you chose an HBCU (like myself) or not, anywhere you go there will be diversity and more opportunities to grow as an individual. So don't be discouraged relying on man to give you confidence, relying on man gives nothing but disappointment. So remember love yourself and the body God gave you and keep your head held high because you are a diamond and don't you ever forget that. As I have always been told "God DOES NOT make junk"

szarion · Answer

After reading through the whole page, I'm starting to think the problem is with your personality rather than your race. Yes, racism exists. There have definitely been more than a handful of "I'm not racist, but..." toolbag responses to your question. But whether you want to admit it or not, PREFERENCES DO EXIST. Some people happen to find fairer skin more aesthetically pleasing than darker skin, the same way that some people prefer blondes to brunettes. You're correct in that some people use "preferences" as a cover-up for racist mentality, as demonstrated by some of the answers, but some people really honestly prefer a certain skin color, and even race-specific physical characteristics from a purely aesthetic standpoint. I, for instance, like fair-skinned Latinos the best, but I also like Indians, Asians, white, black, you name it. No discrimination, just personal taste. The difference, for me: RACIST: "I would never date X because [insert stereotype here]." NOT RACIST: "I'm open to dating X if I find a person of X race attractive, but I generally prefer Y." Stop conflating the two. Reading your responses to the answers given, to me you seem very narrow-minded and combative, quick to point the finger and yell "racist" and alienate someone who probably would have been open otherwise. It's off-putting. If I were a guy, you could look like Heidi Klum and I still wouldn't want to seriously date you if you had an abrasive personality like that. I recommend Jay Smooth's approach on how to tell people they sound racist:   I agree with one of the guys' answers above: race is only one part of you. It's up to YOU to decide how much it limits the rest of your life. And while I think your combative approach to the situation is not helping your cause, it's a small matter compared to your self-esteem problem. You display quite the persecution complex and a very self-defeating attitude, and nobody's going to find that attractive, whether or not you're black. You need to stop using your race as an excuse for why boys are not asking you out. It's a crutch. Maybe boys are intimidated by you, but would be happy if you were the one who approached them. Chin up, smile, believe in yourself and your worthiness. Again, racism exists and it WILL limit your options, let's not lie here, but if you exude confidence, beauty and kindness, men of any race will notice that and will line up at your door. I'm Filipino, I've had to deal with that racism too, but I stood tall and didn't let my race define me, so I have no problem getting guys. And beautiful, confident black women have no problem getting guys either. Just look at Hollywood couples like Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry, Iman and David Bowie. It's not like men will turn their noses at gorgeous black women like Gabrielle Union or Sanaa Lathan or Ashanti just because they're black! Come on now. It's all about attitude, and the way you present yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not racists, I have white friends (lol). Some "generalizations" about White American Men and the real reasons why "Black Women" won't date them. You resemble apes more than any other race. With your disgusting hair problems, I mean who wants to date someone with greasy, oily hair coming out of every crack and crevice. Nose, ears, behind, it's everywhere, complete turn off. You are clearly decended from the apes you claim to have evolved from (I think it is more like de-evolved).You act like uncivilized apes everywhere you go. The whole world is disgusted by White Americans. Everywhere you go you destroy the economy and culture. You're filthy ways are the precursor to some of the worst disease epidemics to plague the human race. Your perversions are insatiable you are unable to have normal relations with a woman. Pornography and other sick diversions were made for you. Bottom line the real apes.  Small penises... I believe a lot of the problems with sex white men have are directly related to their false legislated superiority. White men are behind the statistics concerning penis size, their research pools consist mainly of white men and maybe a few tiny Asian men to round it out. Therefore you get the average 3-5 inch penis of the White man. Size matters. White men are ignorant, and down right stupid. No original thoughts. I had a white boy tell me that Travon Martin's shooting was justified because he shouldn't have been walking in that neighborhood. White people are not the most intelligent in the world by far. This is demonstrated in their need to fudge the data in every aspect to perpetuate their false superiority. Their only strength is in numbers in America, not intelligence. The Good Old Boy system is their only salvation. Hence their need to suppress and demonize other races for their own survival. 85% of the world is non-white people. They will soon fizzle out on their own. Disgusting inbreeding. Black women never want to compromise their superior gene pool by watering it down with inbreed white genes. Thus her continued attraction and affliation with delicious virile black men. Just look at the races with the most deformed, handi-capped, retarded children. You only see this in large degree in white America.  Most white men are fuugggglllyyyy. They have to work real hard just to be barely presentable. What is it with white men's naturally flabby bodies ewwww, white men have disgusting bodies and age prematurely (poor genes). Being blunt the majority of white men HAVE to pay for it... They are mean, vicious, cowards, effeminate, scarey, creepy, disgusting. Truly fat, lazy, and stupid. Their Ghetto counterparts are mearly mirroring what they learned from them. Whites lack morality and will do anything to advance their own agenda. Unless he is far outside of the norm a white man is not worth dating. The proof is in the answers given to a child in the previous posts. Having all descended from the same two people race is a false construct.

Anonymous · Answer

OK, you want honesty? First off, black girls are very rough around the edges--physically and mentally. A vast majority of black females are "thick" and heavy. Ladies, there's a difference between being curvy and just being plain fat. And just because you have a "big" butt does not mean it is attractive. There's a difference between a full, tone butt and just a big fat butt. I also understand that black hair is way different than other race's hair--just the physical nature of it which cannot be controlled. So then black girls style their hair via weaves, dreads, or just extremely short. I'm sorry, I like hair that is long, flowing and radiant--so hair is a major turn off for me when it comes to black girls. And I realize nothing can be done about it. Also, no offense, but some of the facial features of black girls are just rough and some guys find it hard to get past that.  But see, the physical characteristics that turn me off wouldn't be such a turnoff if black girls were more polite, and (how do I say this?) quiet. I mean there is a line between loquacious/friendly and flat out obnoxious. No one wants to hear your mastery of ebonics in the loudest manner possible. I think ebonics  is a way for black people to somehow retain some cultural identity (which is fine) and it might sound cool to them, but trust me, it does not sound good to the casual white guy. The ghetto sound is weird. And, honestly, the attitude of some black girls is what really gets me. They seem to always be into drama. They always seem to have something negative to say. When talking with black girls, it's sometimes hard to tell if they are serious or if they are joking. It's alright for them to use questionable language and phrases, but not alright for anyone else.  Long story short, if you are a black girl and desire a normal white guy, you might want to try to look white and act white. I know that sounds terribly insensitive, but that's the way I see it. I wouldn't worry about it though. You are what you are and it shouldn't be a hinderance to your self-esteem (coming from a ginger). Go out and do what you want with who you want and don't worry. Happiness is most desirable.

Anonymous · Answer

I am a Black woman, 31, and currently finishing my THIRD degree.  I speak a few languages; I'm an entrepreneur, come from a WONDERFUL family, have no children, NO abortions, NO STDs (ever), or the like.  I'm also attractive.  Gorgeous & educated White men, Chaldean men, mixed race men, and of course, Black men have hit on me.   I am brown-skin (not light at all), NOT slim (I'm actually quite curvy, size 14) and I don't have long hair.   I don't wear weaves, long nails, fake eyelashes, or trashy apparel.  I DO have delicate features, but I DON'T fit the Halle Berry/Beyonce standard of "Black beauty", yet I do quite fine attracting guys.  I guess you could call me average.  Like many women, I'm single because I chose education & travel first. There are SO many Black women that I know like me it's astounding.  We laugh when we read these remarks.  It shows how little you get out and how unaware you really are.  Most likely, you grew up in White neighborhoods with a low Black population OR you're among the percent that lived in the hood and can only judge our entire group by those who fit your stereotype (true, it does exist).  However, I grew up in an area, 84% White, and went to mostly White schools where the Black girls were most always popular.  Now I live in a predominately Black middle-class neighborhood and you wouldn't believe how many times I've had Whites (and city Blacks) say to me..."This is a BLACK neighborhood?"  As if clean, mild-mannered Blacks don't exist.  Bottom line is, if your the average American you've never been to my neighborhood or the countless "hidden" middle-class Black neighborhoods like mine to even realize there are women like me.   If you don't like Black women because you just flat out aren't attracted to us and think we are universally ugly, well then that's fine!  I have no gripes with that.  But when you say it's because MOST, if not ALL Black women are loud, low-class, ugly, manly, diseased ridden humans...well I have a problem with that.  None of you know that many Black women to judge.  At most I know 200 Black women from my close circle (school, church, work) where 90% fit my description.  So how can YOU, who may not know nearly as many as I do, say we are all the same? I've probably lived around more White people then any of you have around Blacks.  I could seriously throw stones at White chicks.  Reality television showing White girls as whorish, trashy, sailor-mouthed gold-diggers, lines up quite well with the girls I've seen in MY high school and/or college.  Many of the "White-washed" Asian girls didn't fare too well either.   But to say MOST White or Asian women in the U.S. act like heathens would just be silly because I can't assume my small group experiences reflect the behaviors of an entire group of women. BTW, are you guys seriously saying there aren't big manly looking White women with angular/strong features?  Seriously?  I call your bluff on that.  Each group has their armpits of society.

Anonymous · Answer

Hi I'd like to introduce myself as a 35 year old Afro-Carribean woman living in the UK.  I've read a lot of really strange stuff on here, apart from the gentlemen who said he was 33, I think the opinions and responses clearly show immaturity.  What are you going to do with the plethora of information.  Some of it you may feel encouraging, some of it is bound to make you despair.  However, ultimately,  taken as a whole nothing about it will really make you feel great.   The fault, however, isn’t in any of the answers.  The fault lies in asking the question to begin with.  The bottom line is that if you're looking to raise your self esteem asking others what they think of you, i.e. will inviting judgement (!) on you, is not the way to go about it. I was raised in an all white area, went to an all white school, as a top student I then went on to a top 3 university where I did my under-grad and post-grad studies, again this was predominantly a white institution.  I have a very successful career working at the heart of London's banking industry, again a profession dominated by white men.  I never had a boyfriend at school, and, yes, I was focussing on my studies, but trust me, I wanted to have a boyfriend, really really wanted one.  All my friends had one and I just couldn’t understand what I didn’t.  Fast forward 20 years  and I have only two relationships, or rather dalliances. My white female counterparts on the other hand have marriages and children and tales of wonderful relationships past and present.  I always had really low interest from white men which is a problem considering most of my life has been amongst them ;-) It took me a long time to really understand what was happening and more importantly WHY.  As human beings the nature of attraction is very simple.  We are attracted to that with which we are familiar, that which we have grown up with.  If you are a Black women raised in a white area, then you will be attracted to white men, perhaps exclusively.  However, the same is true of the men that you encounter, they also grew up in white areas and their predominant experience will be of white females, which they will be attracted to if not exclusively, then in the main.  You can't re-write social conditioning like this.  Ideas of beauty are learnt very early and then embedded.  Don’t just think about it in terms of colour, the same is also true of social class.  The middle classes tend to stick to the middle classes, the same for the upper, the same for the working.  We are just attracted to what we know.  When are unfamiliar with an individual, there is where that ugly word creeps in, we call it “exotic”.  “Exotic” is unknown and therefore seen as subversive and dangerous.  Who on earth wants to be seen as subversive when all they want is to be truly loved? You need to let all of this go now before it becomes destructive to your life.  If a white male approaches, then good for him, but you aren’t holding out for one.

Geoh777 · Answer

Don't pay attention to the "sewer rat" forums where the participants dis people. That is a favorite sport of the insecure  immature and everyone knows it. I am a white man and I think that it is mostly a peer pressure thing to overlook black girls. In any group of white guys I've been in, it seems that there are one or two that are rather racist and they always seem to be vocal and at least marginally bullying about it. They make it unpleasant enough that it seems not worth it to consider to "cross the color line." Then, there is the potential problem with her friends and relatives. Black guys seem to hang together and have their own "culture" of speech, music and so on. It is difficult for any young man today to get a career going, or even a decent job. (I have two sons. The oldest at 26 is just starting to get somewhere.) More so for black guys. Many seem to have little or no prospect to support a woman and children. Some obviously prefer white women, their boldness giving them an advantage with lonely women. I honestly suspect that part of that stems from a desire to "get back at whitey." But, one thing is certain, mixed race people tend to be special people, and if we all mixed races, we would all be a brown, happier bunch of people: no racism! The black girl who tries to engage another person even once per day over some sort of "current event" (something of interest that just happened), or anything else that might be of common interest, will find her life changing for the better, slowly at first. I doesn't matter who the other person is, but include a boy or white person once in a while. Don't do too much smiling at first. Also, some boys are not really at home approaching girls, as is well known. I didn't marry until I was 39. So, it all adds up to difficulty unless you have that special gift at hooking up with someone. Don't forget that many of the people that you see so easily getting married ... that's the beginning of their problems. There are plenty of white girls and women who are not attractive. That's why one who is gets so much attention. It's the same with black girls, from what I can see. I've seen some that it was hard not to stare. But, that's the part that's only for looks. A woman should not want a guy who considers looks too heavily, Being that shallow, when he finds one he thinks he likes better, he'll leave, marriage or not. I never went against the grain of my own personality makeup. They say, 'Be yourself.' But, sometimes, you have to "be someone else," you have to change and start joining groups, learning how to speak at Toastmasters, learning how to dance, etc., even if it's more "work" than you really want to do. You can do these things without "putting your head on the chopping block," so to speak. And, you don't need to be Sanaa Lathan, either. (Check out her movie, "Something New" if you can.)

Militia13 · Answer

First off as a black woman you shouldn't feel less desirable or less of a person because of your skin color. Clearly being in a predominantly "white school" is not good for your "mental stability" if these are the type of feelings that result from them. Yes White people go around with an "invisible knapsack of privilege because "whites" control mostly everything and always have and with that privilege comes a certain expectation and ideas on who is not desirable because of skin color or "colorful attitudes".  I also agree that a stigma is placed on black women and since we live in a predominantly "white male" culture/country, it's been this way for eons. I find it interesting however that even though white, black and other male races mostly prefer white women,  "white women" nowadays are the ones who are lacking in the reproducing area. Not really a shocker when even in the media most "white women" and families coddle their kids to the point where it gets out of hand and they have disrespectful kids with nasty attitudes that in most cases turn out to be serial killers and very psychologically screwed up.  In reality most guys lay "attitude" as an excuse for why black women are the least preferred when "all" black women are not the same and judging someone by what you've seen or heard(ghetto black females) is not only judgmental but stereotypical and  shows great ignorance. The best thing to do in my opinion which I aim to do is to travel and broaden my horizons because there are way more open minded decent people in other countries who aren't overly shallow and just because some guys in America even black ones lack the foresight to be  interested in black women, there are definitely other cultures that welcome and prefer black women. Most black women are strong and won't put up with a lot of crap from guys and if that makes some of us undesirable then we're better off without shallow males in this country that prefer insipid and whiny women. Besides being in a country full of narrow minded people, it all boils down to institutional RACISM, at least back in the day it was right out there for people to see but now its behind the scenes, but hey, this is the land of America. Technology infused opinions between the ant and the boot!  And of course for you males who take offense and feel I am a black woman who is clearly ranting, nothing could be further from the truth and it's obvious what side of the road you stand on. The truth is ugly and it's far better to not insinuate oneself in the midst of a crowd that makes you feel "less of a person" no matter what the cost is.

Sunflower1990 · Answer

OK I KNOW THAT I AM LATE ON THIS TOPIC BUT THIS IS JUST SOMETHING THAT I FEEL THAT I NEED TO ADDRESS FIRST OF ALL I AM A BLACK GRIL AND THE THINGS THAT WERE SAID ABOUT BLACK WOMEN ON HERE WERE FIRST OF ALL CRUEL, SICKENING, DISGUSTING, IGNORANT AND NOT TRUE. THE REASON WHY THEY FEEL THIS WAY IS BECAUSE ALL THEIR LIVES, I CAN TELL THAT THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED TO BLACK WOMEN THEY ONLY GO BY WHAT THEY SEE IN THE MEDIA AND THESE PEOPLE ARE ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN. A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE ON HERE ESP THE WHITE MEN WHO COMMENTED ON HERE SOUND LIKE UNDERCOVER RACISTS WHO USE SCIENTIFIC RACISM AGAINST BLACK WOMEN IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY THEIR RACISM AGAINST BLACK WOMEN. THAT IS DANGEROUS BECAUSE IT GAVE BIRTH TO THE EUGENICS  MOVEMENT AND THIS WAS USED AGAINST THE JEWS DURING THE HOLOCAUST IN ORDER TO PURFIY THE WHITE RACE AND ELIMIATE ALL THE "UNDESIRBLES" AND IN THIS CASE THE "UNDESIRBLES" ARE BLACK WOMEN. I AM A BLACK GIRL AND I NEVER LIKED WHITE MEN FOR THIS REASON BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE RACIST AND HAVE VERY NEGATIVE VIEWS ABOUT BLACK WOMEN AS YOU CAN SEE HERE. I ONLY PREFER BLACK AND LATINO MEN. PERIOD. AMERICA VERY NARROWMINDED WHEN IN COMES TO BEAUTY AND ONLY PRAISE WHITE FEATURES THAN BLACK FEATURES. EVEN BLACK AMERICAN MEN ARE BRAINWASHED AND FALL INTO THIS HYPE AND ARE JUST AS RACIST AS THE WHITE MEN POSTING ON THIS THREAD. AND THE WOMEN POSTING RACIST ANSWERS ON THIS THREAD HAVE A SUPERIOTY COMPLEX WHEN IT COMES TO BLACK WOMEN AND THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE BETTER THAN US. BUT, IF YOUR GOING TO GET A MAN, GO FOR PUERTO RICAN, DOMINICAN, OR AFRICAN BLACK MEN OR MEN FROM THE CARRIBBEAN OR LATIN AMERICA. BLACK WOMEN ARE OF AN ABUDANCE OVER THERE AND THEIR FEATURES ARE PRAISED AND SHOWN IN THE MEDIA ALL THE TIME AND THEY DONT HAVE THAT IGNORANT, BRAINWASHED, RACIST ATTIUDE THAT AMERICANS HAVE AGAINST BLACKS. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND DONT LET THESE IGNORANT, FOOLISH, RACIST PEOPLE GET TO YOU. MOST OF THEM HAVE NEVER BEEN EXPOSED TO BLACK WOMEN OR TALKED TO ONE BEFORE AND HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING OF BLACK AMERICAN CULTURE BECAUSE ALL THEIR LIVES THEY HAVE BEEN LIVING IN THEIR LITTLE BUBBLE WITH LITTLE EXPOSRE TO CULTURAL DIVERSITY AND THIS TYPE OF THINKING BREEDS RACIST THOUGHTS SO JUST IGNORE THEM.

dkong23 · Answer

personally I find them very attractive, the thing is they seem to be the most isolated group of females, except for the "white washed" ones  they usually hang out in their own posse, although they are obviously exceptions , they don't usually venture out of their comfort zone, they wait to be approached by guys instead of approaching them themselves, and if they do , usually only black guys,  and the media usually portrays them in a bad light, they are either they crazy ghetto fabulous chicks on the news or they are music video groupies, american media at least european media is a little different with a lot more innterracial dating, me personally I find all ethinicites beautiful, even had a stage where I had a stronger interest in black women , to me gabrielle union and leona lewis are the most beautiful girls in the world, but yea at the end of the day, looking past social stigmas, if a black girl is cute and level headed then most of the time she's going to be considered a hottie, but that doesn't mean that all black women have to be beautfiul, ethnicity doesn't come into play in beauty

Atomizer · Answer

First, no one can lower your self esteem. You chose to lower your self esteem. Self esteem is a choice. You can chose to let the thoughts and ideas of others bother you, or you can chose to rise above it.  Second, marriage rates say nothing about attractiveness. They're separate issues. Attractive does not automatically equal married any more than intelligent automatically equals a college degree.   Third, you seem to see yourself as unattractive, and you're looking for validation of that opinion. Guys will write "Black girls have features X,Y and Z that I don't care for." And you'll think, "I have X and Z, my life is over!"  Fourth, stop comparing yourself to others. Virtually every woman I know is insecure because she compares herself to other girls. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.  Fifth, stop looking for confirmation of racism. It's not a healthy way to spend your time. I had two Asian friends in high school. One thought he couldn't get a date because girls in our mostly white school were racist. The other Asian guy had more sex than anyone I've ever known. If one Chinese guy can get laid by a dozen white girls a year, it proves that race alone had nothing to do with the other guy's lacking love life. Race is only one part of you.  Sixth,Asking "Why are black girls the least desirable (for non black guys)" presupposes many questionable or erroneous givens. In short, I think your question is logically flawed.  Seventh,  there's nothing about black girls in general that I find inherently unattractive, just as there's nothing in any other race that I find inherently attractive. I think some black girls are incredibly attractive and sexy. Some I'm neutral towards. Others turn me off. But to me, them as an _individual_ is what matters.

Anonymous · Answer

Most of the guys who posted are being honest but I have to say they are making it very clear how shallow they are.  A woman's spirit and character SHOULD be what makes them attractive but in THIS country that's just not the case. America is the most neurotic and psychologically twisted country in the world so I'm not surprised they are as hung up on looks as they are on age, race and all things sexual.   Black women are simply not viewed the same way in Europe for instance, I know I've been there about 13 times and always feel like a woman first and also an attractive one, NOT HERE. Because of this crazy bias in this country white women get away with all kinds of behavior that black women only get criticized for.  Drunkenness (girls gone wild videos), Manipulative behavior ("smart" if you're white, "devious" if you're black), gold diggers (white women wrote the book on this but black women are called this if they even TRY to make sure the man they're with has a job.  White women are the only women on the planet that will have sex with ANIMALS on internet p*rn but black women get sh*t for being prostitutes out of desperation.   Which brings me to my last point.  If all you guys out there say you don't find black women attractive and you won't date them - hell, you won't even just be FRIENDS and walk down the street with them - do you really think this won't affect your decision making in a job interview setting?  Of course it will.  You think it's an accident that black women have a hard time finding work when it's been documented that on a national level they have been graduating from universities in steadily growing record numbers since the 80's? Not to mention the "welfare queen" status black women get all the time.  Not only are most welfare recipients white women (17-24) but there are millions of white women (and men) with mental disorders like depression, schizophrenia, autism, bipolar, manic depression, OCD, the list goes on...and they are almost always on DISABILITY!  That's very much like welfare and we are all paying for it while these people stay at home and turn light switches off and on for 6 hours a day.

MrOracle · Answer

Let me start out by saying that I'm a mutt of mostly Western European and Hispanic, and I find black girls attractive, and I've had 2 black girlfriends. Anyway, my explanation for why some non-blacks view black women as "less desirable" would be because they perceive the following to be true: - A large percentage of blacks, and thus black women, are "ghetto." While there are more whites who are poor and "trashy/ghetto" than blacks in the US, the RATIO of ghetto to non-ghetto is far higher among blacks than any other demographic (because there are far more whites than blacks in the US). They don't like "ghetto" anything, and blacks are more likely to be that way. - Part of the "ghetto" issue is that promiscuity is far higher in such cultures, which is a negative to people who didn't grow up with ghetto values. - Many people grew up in very homogeneous neighborhoods, and so they aren't used to being around blacks, or anyone very different from their own race. Thus, their standards of beauty reflect what they are most familiar and comfortable with. Dark skin, kinky hair, and exaggerated curves seem out of place to them, simply because they aren't used to it. Similarly, a white American will look very out of place in Japan, for the same reason (very homogeneous). - Many whites are afraid that if they try to date black women, black men will get angry and become violent with them, which does sometimes happen. - Black culture can be quite different from white culture, and many people may think they just won't have enough in common to date. They may not date others who have/maintain a strong, separate culture either. - Some are simply racist. You'll never win over everyone, but IMO, if you present yourself as a person of respect and integrity, and let people get to know your personality, I think you'll overcome most of the people who initially are skeptical or wary.

Arwens-Fire · Answer

The world has become an awful sh*t show in some aspects and you shouldn't let it get to you...trust me. I'm african and I have heard it all. Dark skin just has a baddd rap. Media and overall ignorance is to blame.I think it's awful to watch shows( that project a very stereotypical black character)and then base your opinions of AAs off of that. Just like it's ignorant to live in a small town and say,"The couple of black people I came across had attitudes and now I'm just not attracted to black girls. Personalities are based on so many factors..environment,life experiences etc..and that goes for everyone of every race. Then you have those who talk about the way we LOOK. They don't like our boobs,butts,noses,skin color etc. Fine.Thats your preference. But the irony is natural dark skin gets a thumbs down,meanwhile folks are roasting in the sun to become DARKER. Only to know that their skin is going to become permanently damaged as they age but who cares eh? Folks are flocking to the doc to get collagen injections to make their lip larger! Would ya look at that?! Butt implants,Boob implants etc. Things that a lot of dark women naturally have,others covet and they buy it. But because of our dark skin,we aren't necessarily acknowledged for a lot of positive attributes..physically or otherwise. Enough with the superficial physical aspect,i just had to address it. Racism/prejudice is unfortunately buried deep into the Americas soil. Dark skin has always been thought of as the "lesser". But other parts of the world is different...more receptive even. It's unfortunate that some folks are using this forum to express their racism and predjudices,but at least they are being honest. I say,learn to love every inch of you! You are Gods creation so you are beautiful.

Prof_Don · Answer

Imo, I feel that black women are the most harshly stereotyped people (race + gender) in this country. For some reason, the masses tend to believe the small sample of black women that he/she interacted with in their lives, or seen on TV, embodies ALL black women. :-X Sure, there are definitely some black women that I find un-datable...but then again, there are many women that I would find un-datable, regardless of race. I'm very attracted to black women. I love the physical features of a black woman. I usually go for the thicker ones, since I'm a big guy.  I like their mental strength. I need a woman like that because I can tend to dominate a recessive person.  However, she has to be feminine (as in "girly") at the same time. Nails done, makeup, feminine clothing style, effeminate demeanor, etc. Since I'm a pretentious college graduate (lol), she needs to stimulate my mind in an intellectual manner. I'm quite an analytical person, so I need someone who can mentally "hang" with me.  I'm in love with a cutesy, smart, dark-skinned, thick & effeminate black woman.  I'm lucky to have her. :)

TC123 · Answer

I'm a white male republican, very conservative, and don't find black girls hideous or anything like that. People who say stuff like that are just being petty, taking out their anger on an online forum because it can't be traced back to them. I have met a few attractive black girls I wanted to date very badly - one was a cowgirl from TX - problem is they didn't want to date me hahahaha. Black guys not wanting black women? Eh I hear that from white girls when they see a white guy with an asian girlfriend - like he's "going the easy route" or some sh*t like that. I was with an asian girl for quite awhile and heard those sorts of things from lots of girls. As far as school goes, schools are war zones and whichever group is least represented will be the most ostracized. It's just a fact of life that you'll have to deal with - it's not fun but that's just the way things are. To be honest you shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that, racial statistics, what weirdos say on message boards, that sort of thing. It's all a bunch of BS. Just be yourself - being black doesn't doom you to failure any more than being short, tall, thin, fat, whatever.

sweetaspie · Answer

There are attractive black woman and unattractive white women. I think black women get a lot of BS put on them from the way media portrays African American women. Like look and Beyonce and Tyra Banks. Yes both are beautiful black women but both have very white features and work very hard to obtain that type of look. Then you have a beautiful black woman like Alex Wek ( a runway model) who is straight out of Africa and one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have ever seen IMO. I think the media takes so many beautiful black women and tries to fit them into a white mold. Therefore other black women that don't look white enough question their beauty because of it. I have many black friends that are drop-dead gorgeous and a lot of them don't realize it because they feel like they don't fit societies standards. I even have a half and half friend that people do double takes at and she still straightens her beautiful curly hair and wears blue contacts to cover her honey colored eyes. I just don't get it. The world is just messed up today.  I love people who look unique and different. I think women just have it bad no matter what with all the pressure put on us. Black women have it even worse because of stereotypes place on them and the pressure to look white. Again though, black woman are just as beautiful as white woman, as are Hispanics and every race in between. Everyone race has beautiful and unique features and needs to embrace them not matter what pressures society puts on them.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with the concept of preferences= prejudices. If I had my choice in men, they would be over 6 feet, intelligent, and understanding. Good people are hard to find in ANY race and any height, so I try not to be so limited in my thinking.  As far as appearance is concerned, I've noticed even among Black men that Black hair is not attractive, no matter how pretty or long it is. Boy, am I glad that I don't live to attract people to me. I wake up, and I decide that I'm beautiful. And my self esteem alone attracts others of all races. More White men like my natural hair than Black men! The last Black guy I went on a date with, I met him with my hair natural. When we were preparing to go out, he asked me if  I was going to do something with my hair, like straighten it. :-/ As far as education and attitude are concerned, we are getting better as a race. More of us are graduating and going to college. You forget, we are just three generations from emotional and mental slavery, so it will take us a couple of more generations to get it right.  Our behavior and attitude is centered around insecurities. Most Black women don't know how to weed out men's intentions, so they start by being 'hard'. You look at her too long, and she gives you the 'whatchu looking at?' face. They figure if you can get through the attitude, then you're probably strong enough to deal with them. No woman likes a weak man. A man that understands that a smart woman is an asset, yes. But no weaknuts. They know that more civilized people don't want you to make a scene, so they tend to get loud to get what they want. Also, this is also indicative of any race of people who aren't used to nice things. I have a White friend who embarrassed the HELL out of me at the restaurant in the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York. There is ghetto in every race.  The reason why Black men don't like our attitude is because we remind them of their mothers. Mom had to be dad too. She was never sure of her own decisions when it comes to men, and he probably witnessed her being either overbearing, controlling, and probably to some loser because if nothing else, he was expected to be a screw-up, or to come up  short when he does show up. His sister is the same way, and so are the other Black girls that he knows. So there are two things he set out to do: not be the loser that women chose to deal with, and not deal with a Black woman who's going to treat him like a child. He seeks women that are demure, and let him make the decisions in a relationship. That's the reason why guys of all races like Asian women. They're smart, petite, and they let the man lead. Traditionally speaking anyway.  As a double degreed  SUCCESSFUL Black woman from humble beginnings, it is pertinent for Black people to get an education, and see more in life. Once they see that success is possible, everything opens up. Even relationships.

Thanatos · Answer

"but I feel so discouraged when it comes to dating (keep in mind that I live in a predominately white area)." That right there is one of your problems.  You think it's because there aren't that many blacks around that you that you can't be with someone or that your chances are lower.  I did a huge project for a psych class that I was in (my term project/paper).  I surveyed some 300 guys and 300 girls of varying race, class, and age (18-27).  Out of all the other races and genders of those races, black women were the least open to interracial relationships and inter-religious relationships, and several other things which guys listed as unappealing.   I have no clue (well not a full, complete one anyways) as to why a large amount of black women are afraid of interracial relationships.  I've had black women who have said no to me or avoided me and actually told me upfront "I don't get involved with anyone but a Brotha."  Then a week later complain about the lack of men.  Not saying you or all black women act that way, but a decent amount do, close themselves off to other prospects for one reason or another.  Some people of whatever skin color are just more comfortable keeping within their group, clique or whatever you want to call it.  I'm currently with a beautiful black woman and she treats me like a prince and I treat her like she is everything in my world.  Some are just more comfortable than others being outside their skin, if you will excuse the pun. So my best advice is be yourself, take care of yourself physically, mentally, etc., and if no one is approaching you, find someone you like and go after them.

saulito · Answer

deep down many of us like black girls but you have to give thanks to rap,reggae and r&b music videos that make black women look like they only like those guys with tappered and fade hair cuts and dressed like clowns. I'm sorry but I dress like a man and feel like black girls wouldn't give me the time of day...drop the media and those ridiculous music videos and you'll start to realize that men in general like women as long as they look good and smell like candy. we're just looking for a little love...there are racist people out there...but not all of us...racism starts from within one's heart...first start believing that race is not an issue and please do not bring it up on a date when going out with a guy from a different race...i dated a black girl and she could not stop reminding me that she was black this black that...i was just looking to spend time with her...skin color is obvious and it was obvious I didn't have a problem with it. The question is, do YOU have a problem with it? Sorry for being blunt...lets go out sometime...he he...j/k

Why are black girls the least desirable?

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