Alright I interprete this my own way; as a bad guy who became a nice guy but who is occasionally bad. Seriously I have to say yes and no
Nice guys finish last?
Yes. When I was bad I was exuding confidence and masculinity in my actions, rugby, stealing things, behaving cocky and entertaining, while remaining sort of nice, I give the impression I am a player and I am big and muscular and people sorta think they don't want to mess with me. And I always spoke realistically and would never do something unless there was something in it for me.
and a lot of crushes liked me and would do anything for me, from offering themselves to me in bed to kissing me and always caring for me... it got quite annoying.
But I did feel guilty about taking advantage of their affections; I guess this shows I'm no jerk.
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No nice guys don't finish last, because my previous flings or mini-relationships were really not important and don't count for anything.
As a nice guy, I am confident, but not super arrogant. I am polite and I exude respect and I ask for things instead of demanding it. I still make people laugh and I i can pride and confidence in my past glories.
I still get dates and I get good looks of interest from women, but does that mean I get laid every day or get as many crushes as I did? No. But I cultivate friendships and possible life-partners in the lovely girls I do meet.
Have I finished last? No. Because each of us is going through an ongoing process until we die.
I may not be able to get a nice girl into bed to screw her brains out, but one day I might, or I might not, depending if we love each other. And it feels great when a woman look at you with respect for your personality and vigour, on top of her usual sexual instinct she knows how tough you could be without having to show it outwardly. I won't finish last, and no nice guy or gentleman should have to finish last.
Given that the definition of finishing last = getting laid or having a romantic relationship.
Your question is logically flawed. It's a loaded question -- a statement that masquerades as a question.
Define "nice guy."
Define "finish last."
"Nice guy" is is typically code for "weak, passive, insecure doormat." These "nice guys" tend to finish last in *everything* because of their behavior.
These "nice guys" are afraid of rejection, terrified of failure, ashamed of their masculinity/sexuality and avoid conflict or disagreements at all costs. They're so passive that they allow others to make important decisions about life.
With behavior like that, it's hard to win at anything because you never take risks, you never stand up for yourself.
These "nice guys" are actually far from nice, too. They're full of anger, resentment, bitterness and hate. They put on the "nice guy" mask because they think it makes them different from other men, and because they don't own their emotions.
But the truth is, the other men -- the men that "nice guys" don't want to be -- aren't always jerks. But if you're a weak, passive doormat, these other guys only seem like jerks in comparison. A man who's not afraid of rejection, who's not afraid to fail or express occasional anger -- this man can seem like a raging monster to a "nice guy." Some of 'em *are* jerks -- but to divide the male population in to "nice guys" and "jerks" is a false dichotomy.
How do know all this? I used to be a "nice guy." Meaning, I used to be a weak, passive doormat. Why? Partly childhood trauma and serious depression, partly simple cowardice. It's a hell of a lot easier to sit around whining about how "nice guys finish last." The challenge comes when you decide to grow a pair, take a risk, speak your mind and stand up for yourself: "I don't want to live another year blaming all my problems on others. To hell with that crap."
Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy", by Dr. Robert Glover. A great book on how you can learn to shake off the "nice guy" baggage, but not turn into a raging prick.
ok... this is what I think... (I voted YES )
Girls say they want a nice guy... but they always end up with the jerks that treat them bad... of course everyone wants to be treated with respect that they deserve... but why is there girls out there that get abused everyday by there boyfriends and still end up back with them?...
At the same time those nice guys, are too nice... to every girl! how can the girl you like feel liked and special if you are nice to every single one of her girlfriends? if you like a girl, go after her... don't be passive about it, the jerks out there surely are not going to... this is where the nice guys finish last, they think oh she will see that I could treat her with respect and like me... but ultimately end up just being friends... the jerks are the ones going after girls left and right and they also could be nice... if they need to be and what ends up happening?... the girls being pursued after keeps falling after the sweet talks that are spoken by the jerks which is half hearted... am I wrong? and this cycle keeps one being repetitive...
nice guys finish last for a long period of time. like when your a teenager and young adult.
but then you realise that you didn't spend time with girls who didn't matter and instead you've found someone who you know truly cares for you.
i'm dating a guy that everyone made fun of in highschool and was an outcast. he's the most beautiful and loving person I've ever met and he means the world to me. I liked him when he was in highschool...he was the senior and I was the freshman. no one understood why I liked him. I just told them "there is something about that boy that makes me want to talk to him, I bet he's nice, just misunderstood"
i even asked him out.
now it's been half a year together and I've loved every second of it.
hes even told me that he's glad he didn't really have relationships before me and neither have i. it just makes us close.
Nice guys don't finish last - I hate this way of thinking. My boyf is one of the nicest of nice guys and I love him to bits. He means the world to me and I know that he would do anything for me, and for any of his friends. He hates being called a "nice guy" but that's exactly what he is. I mean he let his little sister live with him rent free for 3 weeks and slept on the couch for most of that so she could have his bed. He helped my friends and I try and talk our other friend out of staying with a guy who we think is going to hit her.
I've been with "bad guys" but I always find that relationships with nice guys last longer, bad boys are great for a bit of fun, but for something to last the nice guy always comes first in my eyes!
Opinion
18Opinion
Nope, I don't think so at all. I think nice guys have better success than any other type of guy. The problem is that every guy in the world who isn't a rock star wants to think of themself as a 'nice guy'. If you're upset because someone else had the courage to ask a girl out, but you had spent the last 3 years being her best friend and hoping something would magically appear between the two of you, you aren't a 'nice guy', you're just timid and unassertive.
Guys who seek sympathy and lack assertiveness always say that nice guys finish last. Then, when a genuinely nice guy with confidence winds up with a great girl, they always try to find a way to prove that he's not actually a nice guy, so that their theory will stay correct. The truth is, that guy is still a nice guy, and he used his considerate nature in conjunction with a little courage and gumption to turn it into success. Why do guys think that being nice will automatically bring success? Being nice is a very good *foundation* for success, but you still have to go out and do the work with it.
What's the race?
To screw as many beer-soaked, irresponsible tramps as possible, and increase your risk of contracting an STD because she's already screwed a small army of edgy bad boys who bail out after a month and leave her heartbroken, yet she foolishly repeats this pattern and grown bitter and blames all men because she's unwilling to take a hard look in the mirror and admit that her decisions are part of the reason she's 28 and can't have kids because of cervical cancer?
Then yes, nice guys finish last.
It comes down to confidence. Women want men who are sure of themselves and know who they are. You don't have to be the alpha male in every situation, but they want to know you could hold your own regardless of what life throws at you. There are plenty of nice guys who fit into this category and plenty who don't. When women say they fall for bad boys, they are saying they like the uncertainty, spontaneity, and confidence associated with them. Nice guys can have all three without the jerkiness.
Yup, they do. It's just a fact of life. I was a nice guy up until about the age of 17. A lot of stuff happened in my life and I started becoming more and more selfish, and treating girls with more and more disdain. Interestingly I noticed that life just seemed to go my way a hell of a lot more often. Well, it seemed like it was going my way... when in actual fact I was just taking what I wanted and didn't give a fark about anyone else. Subconsciously girls picked up on this and I guess liked me more for it than the nice guy I used to be.
However, you have to make a decision about the kind of person you want to be in life. I didn't want to be that person forever. Now, over 10 years later I'd say I'm a confident crafty nice guy. I'm who I want to be, but I still know how to get what I want.
J
nice guy don't finish last we finish slow! there's a difference!
look
in HS the nice guy gets overlooked and the girls fall for the assholes
later the nice guys realizes what he need to do to get girls
being confident and not bowing to the girls ever order. and ignore her ever so often
now in college the asshole has nothing going for him
and the girls find out what they want in a guy
then girls start going to the nice guy 2.0
and the nice guy get an awesome girl.
thats what's happening to me I had 2 girlfriends in HS. and it wasn't till now that I'm in college grils are telling me that they like me. and I know a bunch of assholes who aren't even in college now. so yeah... at least I got something haha.
Honestly I don't like nice guys. I feel really awkward when guys are REALLY into me and REALLY nice to me. I don't want to be worshipped. I want to be respected. And I kinda like cocky guys, but they do need to have a balance of niceness too. I want to be treated like a princess, but not in an obvious way. Just open the door for me, make me laugh even if it's by teasing me for one of the flaws that I'm sensitive over (like my big feet). That's what I like.
As Atomizer alluded to, nice guys don't finish last - passive ones do.
Ones that don't take responsibility for their own choices or the consequences of those choices, don't believe in themselves enough, don't stand up for themselves, and don't summon the courage to initiate interaction with the opposite sex. Yet, who feel justified in blaming anything or anyone else for their own lack of success in life, whether it pertains to dating or other matters. THOSE are the guys that finish last.
Nice guys can't finish last. And they can't finish first either. Because they never entered the game in the first place!
The point of the game is to let each side play their own part, but nice guys usually do all the work. That's too easy for the girls, so they think there is no game to be played with the nice guy... :(
I disagree-i think shy guys finish last which is a shame-same for girls-shy girls find it hard to get a bf. I think nice guys just have to find a nice girl because I don't know any girls that would want to date a "bad boy" that treats them like crap. I've got to say though the nice guys seem to be 10x harder to find.
no. I've always been into nice guys but in highschool I wasn't as attractive as I am now. but I went out with a guy who was a 'badass' and he made me a different person---a lot more colder, perhaps emptier, angry and hateful, so no, I believe nice guys finish first in my eyes and always have. it makes more logical sense. and I'm a girl who demands respect from my guy or he's out the door lol
Oh hell yea we do lol,
I'm changing my personality a bit now because I hate when I really like a girl and I end up not getting her. It's like this, you have to create a type of mind where you are smooth, cool, sexy, and nice at the same time. Sometimes nice guys have a hard time putting all that together.
That's a heck of a broad brush you're using mate.
As J said, there's quite a differential within the 'nice guy' spectrum. IMO, you can be nice without being a pushover, which is what seems to turn girls off. Unfortunately, there is quite a bit of evidence to suggest that all-around pricks do better in this regard than even the craftiest 'nice guys,' especially at your age.
of course nice guys finish last
the only nice guys that finish first are the attractive ones
its all a game; you have to be nice but if you be too nice you become the friend
so balance it out with saying some jerk-ish things sometime (make sure its more funny than offensive) but if you say too many jerk-ish things then you become that stupid a-hole
guys who are just nice arn't gonna get any kind of play until they hit 30 when girls finally grow up and figure out what ius really important to them
Nice guys, or guys who let themselves get walked on? Like I've said before, there's a huge difference between respecting yourself and being a jerk. The former is the one that gets ahead.
If you tell her what she needs to hear, even if she doesn't like you for it, you're being a nice guy. If you let her take advantage of you just so she'll still like you or so you can get into her pants, that's not being nice, that's being manipulative.
i don't think nice guys finish last at all.
I think the only way that is possible is if they let it.
Lets face it if a girl calls you a nice guy, they might not wanna sleep with you straight away but lookin more long term you are what they wouldlook for
YES, nice guys do finish last. Nice guys are the ones who get stuck in the "friend zone" with girls all the time. Constantly hearing the line "I wish my boyfriend was more like you" which is the biggest cop-out of all time.
I'd love to say "No." but from my observations and experiences it unfortunately looks like a "Yes." It's terrible that in this society to get anywhere you have to be at least a little bit aggressive and be willing to step on some people's toes. Nice people do get taken advantage of by the not-so nice people. It's a shame because it makes the nice people turn bad or give up.
No - the nicest guys who hold out often find girls who have put up with jerks for too long but actually deserve a nice guy. The trouble is most girls are used to putting up with the games guys play, so to help you manuever early on in any dating experience, find out if a gal is a game-player, or simply state that you're not and you're hoping just have fun while getting to know her more, followed by some flattering comment (i.e., I really like X about you). Hang in there because there are plenty of great gals out there who deserve a really nice guy like you!
Apparently so. I'm an authentic nice guy. Which means I show respect towards those who give me respect as well. It's not because I expect something in return but I was raised to be chivalrous. You can call it hereditary lol Nevertheless, I still have my limits. I just don't like it when I'm being used or overlooked. I feel as if I'm invisible, and even though some people, especially attractive women, talk to me they still don't see me... unless they want something from me.
I think it depends on each person and I take it you mean about the dating game.
I like a guy who is nice and caring, a guy who expresses how he feels and makes me happy by doing nice things.
Every one is different tho.
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