Why We Need To Say Grace Before Every Meal

[Anonymous]

Most people think of "saying grace" as a religious habitual behavior. However, I do not think it has to be thought of as a religious habitual behavior. I believe that, with the great secularization of modernity, saying grace should be made into a secular ritual.

Gratitude

I think one benefit of saying grace is the gratitude that one feels while saying (or thinking) it. One is grateful that one is being fed at the moment. One is grateful of being with people who share the same food on that day. One is grateful of the people who support them and love them to make the food on the table available and accessible.

This peaceful gratitude beats sitting in front of the TV and eating fast food alone anytime. The center of attention is not about you or your palate. It is about the people around you and your relationship to them. Since we humans are social creatures, I believe this collectivist approach to eating will make food less about ourselves and more about our relationships with others, whether that is a relationship with God or a relationship with nature or a relationship with other people. And if one is alone physically at the moment, one can just think of the people around them, think good thoughts about them, and then one does not feel alone anymore.

Mindfulness of Eating Food

In this modern age, too many people are eating mindlessly. They are just gorging on the food and eating food for personal pleasure instead of actual nourishment. I don't blame them. Modern life is busy and fast-paced. It's just easier buying something ready-to-eat than preparing the food in the kitchen, and sometimes, this habit becomes detrimental to health as quick personal choices are not always the best personal choices.

I believe that saying grace before eating will help the mind engage in mindfulness. Why am I eating the food? Is this food for my nourishment or my pleasure? How much nutrition will I get out of this? What work has gone into this food by the people who made it? By eating more mindfully, I believe that people can more easily make thoughtful choices about food.

A Guide to Saying Grace for the Non-Religious

Saying grace often conjures up the image of holding hands together, heads down, and praying to some kind of deity in the clouds. But that behavior is just behavior. The important thing is the thought involved in saying grace. A non-religious person may set down a plate of food and get ready to eat. But just before eating, s/he thinks silently of the people around him/her, hoping that they have the same, and of the people and animals who have made the food possible. I believe that a lifelong habit of saying grace will encourage people to think thoughtfully about the people and animals around them, and their relationship to the world, instead of allowing the food just to be about themselves or to fulfill personal, sensual desires.

[Laura_Marx]

I used to be part of the OTO, and we used to do this little routine before meals, where one would ask, 'why are we eating?' and they would say, 'to sustain ourselves', and the other would say, 'to what end?' and they would say something-something about allowing us to fulfil our True Will. Somewhere between a discipline thing, keeping yourself single-minded, "one star in sight", in pursuit of your True Will, the high aim of thelema, and also kind of a play on saying grace. Thelema is mostly just Christianity but with a lot more blood and naked girls.

Grace is interesting as a kind of communal prayer, to me, although I have a gut negative reaction to it because of school, lol.

[oddwaffle]

This is too Christian for religious people like me. I follow ancestors worship so we always place a small meal on the altar for our ancestors for the occasions or incense or even a candle will do. Meals are usually better since we would eat them later during the meal.

Usually, our ancestors would observe or consume the spiritual meal before us then we can eat. Pray or not wouldn't matter much because you are amount families. You keep your respects but you can be comfortable with your family.

Meal time is also the time for family to talk over their day so it's important that people feel at ease.

[myTake Owner]

What cultural background are you?

I am ethnically Chinese. But my parents and grandparents on both sides are urban. My paternal grandparents come from a rural background, while my maternal grandparents come from an urban background. So, I think some traditional religious traditions like ancestor worship are kept in the rural side of the family; at least I have seen pictures of them. My parents are both non-religious. Although we don't do the ancestor worship stuff, we still talk over dinner.

[oddwaffle]

I am mixed Asian. A bit of Chinese, Vietnamese and probably Cambodian. Ancestor worship is pretty old and limited within families with at least 1-2 generation working as farmers.

Ancestor worship is pretty loose as a religion. If you spent a couple hours a year visiting your ancestor's grave or have some sort of family altar or name plate somewhere in your family house then you are in ancestor worship. If you find yourself talking or praying to your ancestor then you are in the same group. It's a loose religion but it is so simple that almost everyone is part of it.

[myTake Owner]

Where do you live? How are you Chinese, Vietnamese, and "probably" Cambodian? When my father visited China to visit his rural relatives, he took a picture of the family tree. The significance of the family tree has roots in Confucianism, which mingles with the ancient practice of ancestor veneration.

Let me see. My parents were Chinese immigrants who moved to the United States. So, that makes me one-and-a-half generation. They had been urban dwellers all their lives, even though my dad's dad came from a farm and went to work in a factory, and that's how he met his wife. My parents are not religious at all. We don't even keep a picture of an ancestor or an altar. My parents were probably more literate in Chairman Mao's writings than the works of Confucianism, as that was mandated in schools. I'd say they are "Confucian" as much as an English person is Anglican. Completely illiterate in the religion.

[oddwaffle]

My mother's father was Chinese who emigrated to Vietnam and he did it with pretty with his branch of the family (they had 1000+ members of the clan). His family name is Forest in English.

My mother held much of her Chinese tradition but my dad was fairly Vietnamese with a bit of Cambodian blood.

I later moved to Canada and then US. Both branches of my family are spread around Australia, China, US, Canada, Vietnam and somewhere in France. All of them pretty much escaped the communism spread from China the Vietnam then to other parts of the world.

They still hold pretty much of the old tradition. I forgot much of it though. We still hold an altar and some pictures of the large (100+ people) family as well as many very very old photos.

[myTake Owner]

I am still sticking with my original contention. I don't see anything wrong with being grateful for where things come from or celebrating the time with others in a secular manner.

Besides, Chinese immigrants to America at the turn of the 20th century were likely very suspicious of Christianity and avoided adopting it. Now, it seems that Protestant Christianity is very popular among the Chinese-Americans. In mainland China, the government has control over the national religions, and free-floating Christianity is not one of them. I believe that Catholic Christians are more likely to keep old family rituals, like ancestor veneration, than Protestants. There was a controversy in Rome about the practice of ancestor veneration in China and Korea, but in the end, the Pope seemed to tolerate it, holding the view that it did not conflict with Christianity.

[LaVilaine]

Lol I love how not saying grace automatically means people are sitting and eating fast food in front of the TV. My family almost never says grace (literally none of us are religious - we say it at Christmas and Easter because we think we're supposed to and that's all) and we eat home-cooked meals together at the dining room table every night. I don't find this ritual particularly important and I don't think that it means you aren't grateful for what you have if you choose to demur from it.

[Laura_Marx]

honestly not having to sit through dreary family dinner conversations is probably one of the chief advantages of adulthood

[LaVilaine]

@Laura_Marx I kind of miss that now that I'm living alone!

[Laura_Marx]

LOL, really? maybe just my family >< I eat infront of the computer, and my mother eats on the sofa. We spend most of our days in the same room, and we talk to each other whenever, not just at meal times, and between doing what we normally do. I think thats waaay better than ignoring each other all day except at mealtimes :P

[LaVilaine]

@Laura_Marx my parents both work outside of the home, and after I was laid off last year and before I started grad school, that was kind of the only time I saw them. I would cook or help my mother cook and then we would have family time at the dinner table. It was the same when I was in high school - I would get home and get dinner started and then we would eat when everyone was back from work. This isn't to say that we don't interact outside of mealtimes, but it's kind of the only guaranteed time that I would see my family during the work week.

[Laura_Marx]

ah, yeah, that is very nice actually. I guess its more important in that sort of family.

[vishna]

I'm down with this idea. It would be good for children to grow up showing appreciation for being privileged enough to have food every day, a roof over their head, clean clothes to wear, and people who love them. And it would be good for grown ups too :)
Great MyTake

[Walrus_au]

I have no problem being thankful.
But I reject, on principal, 'saying grace'.

There is no reason to adopt that terminology.

And what is more, when we are taking a moment to be thankful, I think it is approriate to be specific about the real people being thanked.
eg - the cook, the person who brought home the food, the person who worked to afford the food, the people that make it worth sharing a meal etc.

[EllieLexis513]

Okay, so... definition of grace... "do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence"

1. do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence:

I believe everything you stated is covered in the entire take...

Also, 'say grace' is where the person does everything you just described so the saying is fitting, so there is a reason to adopt the terminology. It's a moment you take out to be grateful for something, doesn't have to include God, so I'm no understanding what this principal could possibly be.

[Walrus_au]

@EllieLexis513 maybe. but the connotation of 'saying grace' is supernatural - and that I don't want any association.

[EllieLexis513]

That's only because the people who do it traditionally are those that are religious but the phrase itself is not a religious phrase.

[Walrus_au]

@EllieLexis513 Hence 'connotation'
Why would I use that term when I could just say - Being thankful?

Seems to me like an entirely un-necessary association.

[EllieLexis513]

This would not be an instance of connotation is what I'm saying. The phrase itself does is not implied only for religious use.

Also, being thankful and saying grace aren't the same thing.

Sounds like you want to just argue to argue.

[Walrus_au]

@EllieLexis513 Well then, if saying grace and being thankful are different, by all means, enlighten me.

Because I think the difference you point out is what I want to cut out.

Even if the difference is only in appearance, I have no interested in having anyone make that confusion.

And it is more than just me being stubborne, words matter because meanings matter.

[EllieLexis513]

Sure. Being thankful isn't an act, it's just a state. You can walk around and BE anything. Be black. Be white. Be male. Be female. Be happy. Be content. Be angry. But it doesn't express anything. Saying grace is consciously taking the time out and saying what you're thankful for, thus why the phrase is 'saying grace' instead of just 'grace'. It's like you holding the door open for me. I can be thankful you did it, but if I don't tell you, most people, maybe not you specifically, would be 'well, eff that hoe'. But saying thank you is an expression and tells someone I appreciate what they did. Ones an act, ones a state.

Me, personally, I don't say grace over food unless I'm with friends and family because I live alone and pray and naturally say please and thank you in my everyday life.

[Walrus_au]

@EllieLexis513 ok, so why would I 'say grace' rather than 'give thanks'?

[EllieLexis513]

Well, because you didn't say 'give thanks', you said 'be thankful'. Two different phrases with two different meanings.

[Walrus_au]

@EllieLexis513 Fair comment. And as far as that goes, I happily stand corrected.

I still don't find 'saying grace' a useful or relevant phrase too my life.

[IceCubedude]

wtf is the world turning into? they pray for god why would anyone who doesn't believe in god pray before eating , and more importantly why the heck would anyone think of cows or plants when eating , i eat cause its delecious not cause i want to think about cows, too many pussies these days.

[samhradh_leannan]

I appreciate my food, and how lucky I am to have a comfortable life. But at the same time, I did work for it. It wasn't given to me by god or by anyone else. I don't see any reason to feel obligated to perform a ritual every time I eat.

[BuchitaBuchys]

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[EllieLexis513]

I say it at my parents house but not in my apartment since I live alone. I don't see the point. I thank him in regular prayer. But when I'm with family and friends, it feels different.

[Xfitchick]

Strange topic for "health and fitness", but a nice viewpoint on nowadays society.

[99percentangel]

Yeah, I get that. I used to say grace with my family as a kid. I don't do it anymore, maybe I should.

[John_Doesnt]

"Dear God we paid for this food so thanks for nothing"
-Bart Simpson and the best prayer ever

[jacquesvol]

Saying grace before eating? No.
We *worked* for it (or our parents) , it's NOT god given manna.
We worked hard , usually.

[suseel_sushi]

because the god stole food from the starving kids and gave us to enjoy. so we should thank that dude.

[Fearless_banana]

You realize not a lot of people believe in god right. This is a religious practice.

[MisterSir]

nothing here has outright convinced me that i absolutely must say grace before eating a meal that i worked and paid for, so imma just eat that stuff.

[OhioNativeForLife]

Fuck that. What about the fact that I'm gonna die through no fault of my own other than the fact that I was born through no choice of my own.

[Anonymous]

Why only food? Why not everything and thus make society grind to a halt

[akanetuk]

An act of appreciation

[Frenchtoast2020]

Do I have to say grace before I eat ass too?

[SatyricLord]

Not for me.