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Yeah, I know, I rarely write mytakes anymore. I won’t go into full details why, but the changes in the “community” and the overall sensitivity of this particular site has deterred me from putting up the kind of content I truly enjoy, and with time my focus as an aspiring writer has changed to more controversial topics that I feel do better on other platforms outside of G@G. However, I did decide that I wanted to do a mytake on something that might actually fit the site: and that’s advice on how to lose weight after having recovered from eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and various other binge eating disorders.
As usual: my mytakes are long, the introduction contains a lot of information but if you aren’t the type who enjoys long articles you can skip to the “steps” if you wish, but I recommend you read it in its entirety.
For those of you that don’t know I had a 6 year, on-and-off “battle” with eating disorders. I don’t tend to go into great detail about my experience as a personal preference but I will tell you that it did affect me later on in life. Now, a lot of people are quick to say that eating disorders are largely just a choice, the “illness of the privileged”, or just plain stupid. To be honest, in many ways eating disorders are a choice and they are certainly stupid, I won’t deny it and act like it’s something that everybody can’t help. However, eating disorders are linked to a lot of common mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders, OCD, body dysmorphia, and many consider them a mental illness all of their own.
Whether or not you think the disorder is stupid or worthy of taking seriously, eating disorders have some of the highest mortality rates of all mental illnesses. Few of us can argue that someone who is completely functional in a mental capacity would have the ability to hurt themselves so much that it causes them to DIE. A normal, healthy, functioning human being does not do this.
But I digress.
The point of this mytake is less about educating people about what eating disorders are, and rather teach people who have recovered from eating disorders how to safely lose weight, diet, or exercise without lunging themselves into a total relapse.
Now I know what you’re thinking: how could anyone who was anorexic or whatever NEED to ever lose weight? Well, that’s because it’s not uncommon for former ED sufferers to enjoy recovery so much that they over indulge, or let go of that strict control over food so completely that they don’t limit themselves, often having no idea how to actually eat properly. Many of them feel a need to make up for lost time, or still have preexisting binge-behavior related to bulimia and BED - BED often following with similar, anorexic symptoms or even turning into full blown anorexia itself. It's common. So don’t assume the only former ED sufferers are those skinny, fit girls that you know; many of us are average looking people, or even overweight people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74yf9s4bzgg
The video above is an this episode of the popular TV series “Dr. Phil”, and in it he discusses a similar topic to what I am addressing today. If you watch the 31 second clip, you’ll see a brief introduction of Nicole – a former fitness model with an extreme eating disorder – who went from thin to the opposite end of the spectrum. Also in the show, one of the two women in the opening sequence actually admits in her interview with Dr. Philip Mcgraw that she previously had anorexia. She also reveals that after her struggle ended, she couldn’t help but indulge in the food that she previously had denied herself, finding relief and freedom in eating whatever the hell she wanted. I invite you to look the episode up. It’s called “My Fight with Food is Ruining My Life!”
This is extremely common. But of course, these aren’t the only reasons we gain weight; former ED suffers gain weight for all of the same reasons regular people do, whether it be because we had children, are too busy, what have you. The difference being that it isn’t always so simple to just “put the fork down and workout 5 days a week”, as most can attest that ED behavior and thoughts … stick with you forever.
Now I realize you’ll all notice that there aren’t any male opinions allowed. That isn’t to say that men don’t suffer from these types of eating disorders, that isn’t it at all. I just happen to know that there are a lot of insensitive types o’ guys on G@G who particularly don’t care for me, who would happily go at anyone who comments on this mytake. I don’t claim to be the most sensitive person to everyone in the world, but I know there are some things you just don’t take jabs at people for, and I want girls (especially young girls) to be able to read and comment on this mytake without some jack-off telling them to shut up and eat a burger. It’s not something I normally do, but this will be the one exception. Men obviously are still invited to read, you just can’t comment. Hopefully you understand.
I won’t drag this out any further than I already have however. So here are my main pieces of unlicensed advice on how to safely lose weight/get healthy after ED.
First and Foremost: Address Your Mindset & Set Realistic Goals
Plain and simple if you are in the wrong frame of mind you are not going to succeed. I’ve seen friends who formerly struggled with eating disorders who do one of two things: they go EXTREME right from the get-go, dieting strictly and working out vigorously only to tire themselves out, make themselves miserable and inevitably quit; or they go in it totally half-assed so not to stress themselves out, see no results, and then – once again – they inevitably quit.
You have to make sure that you’re going into this for the right reasons: too often I see women focusing solely on what they can see, and they make the entire process about how they physically look. Now, that’s a good motivator and all, but for someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, doing it for appearances alone is NOT the way to go; that’s how you got into trouble in the first place, remember? You focused too much on appearances and did drastic things to get the look you wanted before spiraling out of control. In the case of people with BED, you’ve likely done this yourself as well. You wanted the weight gone so badly that you went on extreme diets, yoyo-ed up and down, and inevitably fell back into bad behavior. Why? Because your regime wasn’t sustainable.
This needs to be about your health, your confidence and new found love for the body that you live in, and a big part of being successful in achieving that is finding a diet and workout regime that you can build on and actually sustain into the future. Sure, eating nothing but raw vegetables for 2 weeks and working out 7 days a week, 2 hours at a time might make you lose weight, but you would never be able to realistically keep that up without causing yourself serious harm. Like I said: extreme diets can lead you to quitting out of frustration and mental/physical exhaustion, so it’s better for you to find something that’s realistic that will give you results over time. Obsessing about quicker, faster results will just end you up in a bad place. It might work for normal people, but not for you. So make sure you have your head on straight before diving into any regime.
Speaking of…
Set a SUSTAINABLE Regime and BE REALISTIC
My advice here is simple: keep a simple diet and start out with light-to-moderate exercise that you increase intensity with over time, and make sure your goals are achievable and spread out over a realistic period of time. No “5 lbs in one week” ideas, 1-2 lbs a week for most people is fine. I also don’t recommend (unless advised by your doctor in the case of serious BED cases) that you count calories. Crucify me, fitness gurus, but in my opinion people who have had serious eating disorders are better off not concerning themselves with numbers, as it can quickly become an unhealthy obsession. Its fine to have a basic concept of how many calories you need, but as I said: having preexisting eating disorders can turn calorie counting into an actual ticking-time-bomb that sends you spiraling out of control. I’m a firm believe in trusting your body to do what it needs to do with what you give it. In my own experience, I vividly remember following an online recommendation of 1,700 calories per day as per my height and weight, and I did so to a T to maintain my weight, as I had lost weight due to illness. Even though I followed the recommendation, I actually lost MORE WEIGHT that I DID NOT want to lose. Why? You have to keep in mind that calories do not equal = fat or necessarily balanced nutrition. You can eat 1,700 calories worth of fruit for example, but that doesn’t mean that’s a healthy diet. Calories can also be empty – void of any real nutrition, such as the 4 calories found in black coffee. Calories are energy, and even if your body is stagnant, it’s using them. This is why (again, unless recommended by a doctor) I personally say that you avoid calorie counting, especially if you previously suffered with anorexia or bulimia.
Remember, everything is taken in baby steps when it comes to former EDs, it isn’t going to be the same as a typical person, so simply filling your body with the right foods, in the right quantities and working out should be enough until you get the hang of it.
Drink water, limit processed foods and sugars, keep any grain-based carbs whole-wheat or whole-grain varieties and don’t over indulge in them; keep proteins or supplements lean, don’t overuse oils or condiments when cooking, get all of your food groups and vitamins, and eat plenty of fruit and veg. If you have trouble with determining how much to eat, there are plenty of guidelines online, but for me personally I say eat until you no longer feel hungry. If you have trouble determining when that is (in the case of former binge eaters) eat a set amount of food, wait 30 minutes to an hour, and if you’re still hungry eat a bit more, have some fruit, a glass of milk – whichever. Just don’t go to bed hungry. Feeling a slight bit peckish is fine, but you shouldn’t be going to bed with a rumbling stomach or nagging hunger unless you’re an extreme overweight case where your intake has been restricted at the advice of a doctor.
What your diet consists of ultimately is up to you, but following basic guidelines like this will keep you from eating the wrong things, in the wrong quantities, or simply not eating enough.
As for fitness, start out working out say … 3-4 days a week for 30-40 minutes at a time. What you do for exercise is your choice, but I recommend you balance it out; don’t neglect things like weights or cardio in favor of the other, a good combination of different workouts will provide the best results. You can progressively build stamina and get used to working out without overdoing it, and then increase time and intensity as you go along.
Educate Yourself but Take in Information WISELY
This is the perfect opportunity for you to finally learn about proper health, fitness and nutrition. There is so much information and great advice out there to really provide you with the right tools to create the healthiest you possible – but as such, there is a lot of information that can distort and confuse you. I know when I began trying to get healthy that I went through a lot of hardcore confusion, as there were a lot of people saying very different things. You have the people saying the only truly healthy way to eat is to adhere to an organic, raw vegan diet; while other people will tell you that a more normalized diet is totally fine. You’ll find articles saying you should workout 2 times per day and shower in only cold water for maximum payoff, while other sources will tell you that 30 minutes of cardio alone is the way to go. Then of course you’ll see recommendations and reviews of different pills, supplements, diets, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah…. BLAH.
Remember what I said about sustainability and trusting your body? As helpful as all of this information can be, remember that not all diets nor fitness regimes are going to universally work for someone, no matter how extreme someone preaches about it. A raw vegan diet might work for one person, but not another – there are studies that show people of particular blood types or deficiencies shouldn’t be recommended such a diet, but I'll save that topic either for another mytake or you can do such research yourself. Either way my point is: not all diets work universally.
Even if you could realistically be healthy on such a diet, you may not be able to sustain it for other reasons; you may not like it, you may find it too stressful to adhere to – overall it might just not be “for you.” The same goes with hardcore fitness regimes. This is why I tell everyone to pick and choose what you listen to, and when in doubt ask a professional; a walk-in-clinic doctor, your personal family doctor, a knowledgeable gym employee, a nutritionist – whomever. Don’t assume that everything you hear is the universal truth while still remaining open minded and willing to expand your knowledge. I recommend books, videos and studies – but make sure there’s a good amount of references to support what people claim. Remember, a study of 100 people is minuscule in a study of 1000’s, so while one study might say eating a diet of nothing but boiled turnips worked for 100 people, that doesn’t mean it’ll work if tested on 1000’s of others.The link provided below is a very good indicator as to why you should take everything - even studies - with a grain of salt and be selective about what information you believe.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/fitness/studies-touted-as-breakthroughs-arent-always-what-they-seem/article30017933/
Don’t let the plethora of information stress you out; if you feel good, a doctor says you’re healthy, you’re losing weight/getting fit, you don’t have to change anything just because someone says one way of living is better for you than another. Just be smart, choose your sources wisely, and embrace knowledge – but don’t be afraid to question it either.
Lastly, Remember to be … Human, and Safe
We have bad days. We have periods where we may fall off the wagon. We might just want a fuckin’ treat that day, and that’s okay. Healthy living is not all about restrictions, what you can and can’t do; while I strongly suggest you form discipline and not give in every time you don’t want to eat healthy or work out that day, there’s nothing wrong with taking a day off, be it for physical or mental reasons. I largely aim to eat clean myself, but I have had days where I simply decided that I was going to eat orange chicken and fried rice instead of the healthy dinner I was planning to make. I’ve also had days where I was just tired, sore and not willing to do my workout. As long as you aren’t constantly giving into cravings, or constantly coming up with excuses not to work out, taking a brief break from your regime or lifestyle is perfectly normal, and in my opinion perfectly healthy. You’re still human, you’re still living life and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a few guilty pleasures along the way; the point is to not OVER indulge, not to avoid indulging period.
Along with this, if you do find yourself having dark or negative thoughts, getting into bad behaviors such as under-eating, purging, over-exercising, or if you begin to feel depressed: stop. It’s normal in the beginning to feel a bit depressed because you feel like you don’t have the same freedoms and you may be dealing with some inner demons, but if you’re literally having trouble getting out of bed and find yourself going back down a path that exhibits bad, ED related behaviors, you need to stop your health journey immediately – again, unless a doctor has deemed it dire for you to lose weight, which is most often not the case. This isn’t My 600lb Life.
If you begin making excuses to skip meals or eat less: stop. If you begin neglecting to get all of your necessary food groups in favor of “low fat” food groups: stop. If you are forcing yourself into obsessively working out with no breaks in between: stop. If you purge – even just once, because you became upset over eating a normal meal: stop. If you are literally telling yourself every day that you are going to fail, that all of this is pointless, that you should either just stop eating or eat everything because you’re worthless anyways: stop. You need to go right back to step one, and start all over again, because continuing with these symptoms and mindsets will sabotage any chance of you leading a healthier lifestyle. Talk to a therapist, a friend, a counselor, your mom – someone you trust to give you real advice and comfort. Take a few days to get your head straight and remind yourself that this is about your health, both physical and mental. It isn’t all about dropping the pounds and punishing yourself for putting on weight or not being strict enough. This is a healing process as much as it is a journey to health, so don’t forget in the long run that you are human, you are allowed to fuck up, and you don’t have to punish yourself. Your wellness and safety comes first before weight loss, so make sure you go forward understanding that.
If you managed to read all of this I commend you; I really tried to cut this mytake down, but if I had I feel as though I wouldn’t have done it true justice. Please remember however that while I stand by the advice I gave, I am not a healthcare professional or a fitness expert: I am an average-ass girl who had issues in her past with ED who found something that worked for her, and thus wanted to share it with people of a similar situation. I know that, for me, hearing it from the mouth of someone who has experienced what I went through is extremely helpful since they understand what you’re going through and can offer you tried-and-true advice. However that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consult a professional if you have the means to do so, for your own health and safety.
Thank you to anyone who read this, I hope you all have a good week. Stay safe, treat yourself well and good luck.
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