Anxiety Is a Huge Problem

[dude64bro]

When someone mentioned anxiety I always had the understanding that it was a form of nervousness and showed up at certain moments in a person's life. I've always heard the phrase "I'm feeling anxious" and I learned that feeling anxious was more of a passing feeling like nervousness.

However this is not true with anxiety disorders.

Anxiety disorders are a learned behavior in which a person is "on alert" for a lack of a better term constantly. It causes so many problems in a normal person's life that it affects almost every part of it. The worst part of all this is that I didn't even know I had anxiety. I always thought it was nerves. But my body had learned ways to deal with it. (I worked out constantly... I Needed too.) The problem is that anxiety puts the nervous system into constant overdrive. Always on alert, making it really hard to relax or even sleep. I know now that it was actually affecting my memory and speech forming portions of my brain in a hugely negative way.

I've been on anxiety medication for about two months now and I am finally functioning at my full capacity. It's a wonderful change! I can remember things, talk to people fluently, and I actually sleep at night.

Talking about anxiety is similar to talking about depression I've learned, most people don't really understand what it is. Using the word anxious often dilutes the seriousness anxiety disorders. Similar to how people say they feel depressed when something doesn't go their way, when in fact they are not depressed and depression is a very serious illness.

If you are having trouble sleeping, feel on edge all the time, notice yourself dealing with feeling "wound up" in natural ways (like working out or other stress relief activities), then you may have an anxiety disorder. Most of the time, it's due to genetics working against you so it's not even your fault.

Help spread awareness for anxiety disorders and depression.

Disclaimer* I am not an expert. I'm just some dude on the internet.

[Anonymous]

I have social anxiety, and have had it for many many years. It is a learned fear, my mom taught it to me. She taught it to me that everyone hated me and wanted me to die, and no one could care less about me. I have been hospitalized for 3 months at age 16 for it, because I thought there were "many" people out to kill me. I was so full of anxiety that I have had anxiety attacks, where I feel like I can't breathe. I should I just stop breathing and die, no one loves me. Everyone is just out to use and abuse me, and nothing I do can make anyone happy. I"m worthless... it's not real. It's not true. But I can't get rid of it. I have been going to see a wonderful counselor that I really clicked with for 1/2 a year, whom was recommended to me by a friend but I recently moved and I can't see him anymore. :(

[bloodmountain1990]

That sounds awful.

[Opinion Owner]

@bloodmountain1990 yah it is, but I am still alive. It's a fight i have to fight every day.

[freakyzeaky]

I empathize with you. I don't have panic attacks, but I was diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I used to always feel on edge, could never open up around people, was even nervous around friends and family members. After going to therapy a year or so and taking some meds, socializing a little bit more gradually, I am a lot better than I was. I no longer go to therapy or take the meds. I am still shy with strangers and don't open up as much as I'd like since I want to make new friends and am on the dating market again, but I have made many strides.

All I can say is keep improving yourself; have positive self talk, praise yourself for your triumphs, be easy with yourself when you make mistakes, and improve areas that you are hung about. For example, my biggest hang up right now is my weight, so I am on a fitness journey hoping it will boost my confidence.

[Opinion Owner]

@freakyzeaky thanks for the encouragement. I wish you the best with your journey. Glad you are well and living life

[freakyzeaky]

Thank you! I know how it feels. I hope you find the love you desire.

I still have my moments though. Times where I cry because of how lonely I get. They are like depressive episodes. They don't last long, but I do sometimes obsess over the fact that I haven't made many connections in my life. I am starting to think that it isn't so much shyness for me now, it is more so trust issues. I need to grow a thicker skin and not care so much, but I am one of those people who like to make others feel good, so it is hard for me to put myself first sometimes. It feels like when I do, something always goes wrong.

Yeah, a good therapist really does help. I would try to find another and don't stop until you find one you click with.

I wish it were easier for people like us. It is hard enough as it is to find good people to make connections with than to also stand in our own way. It is a true privilege to have a great childhood and a good upbringing.

[Opinion Owner]

@freakyzeaky thanks for empathizing with me!

I feel the same way about trust issues. I Don't think I am extremely shy, but I do have very real trust issues. I also want to please people but that comes with terrible consequences for me. Usually they want me to do too much, things i didn't even want to do. I had anxiety attacks over it too. If i do what they say, i will be hurting myself. If i don't, they will be angry and hateful and that hurts me too. Therefore, I have all my life wanted to run away and live in a cave by myself!! But I would get too lonely. But I have no good relationship skills, no trust means no real friends. I some times get jealous of those who have close happy relationships!!

As for a good counselor, he was my like 10th counselor through out my life... and he is my favorite because he took his time to truly get to know me more and give me great wisdom. I Am afraid to look for another, especially women counselors. I find them extremely judgmental.

[freakyzeaky]

Yeah, a bad therapist is bad. They just give you platitudes and no real solutions. The truth is though, for people in our situation, we need to face our fears. It takes baby steps in situations where the outcome will be positive. For socializing is it difficult to guarantee that positive outcome though to build upon. I try to say hello more, hold eye contact longer, smile at people, and be more friendly. It is still tough for me to start a conversation and I haven't really been able to take the next step to asking someone for a get together as friends or a date. I don't drink alcohol now; I stopped after July 4th 2017 because I got blackout drunk and it is one of the reasons my ex left me. I relied too heavily on alcohol as a social crutch.

I bet me and you do have great relationship skills, just need to find the right people in our lives and to appreciate ourselves more. Sometimes it takes some mistakes to learn too.
Realistically I think we are selling ourselves short.

[freakyzeaky]

(Where I was going with the alcohol thing is that many of my coworkers like to go out for drinks after work, and I just don't drink right now. Not until I lose my weight and get fit. I am staying disciplined and hopefully, this will help me build some confidence.)

[Opinion Owner]

@freakyzeaky yah, I don't drink either. I feel weird If I drink, it's like I am trying too hard to fit in because it's just not me. But I feel bad, like people won't like me if I don't want to go out drinking with them.
I have insecurities with my weight also, I am 120 and wished I was 105, it's a self esteem drainer for me but I can't lose it unless I was on an extreme diet and exercise.
That's true that I probably undermine myself on everything. I was taught that that's how I am supposed to act so my mom and sister could feel better about themselves, so it's just a belief I feel I have to do. If I am confident, they will feel threatened and jealous and angry and put me down...

[freakyzeaky]

Depending on your height, I'd say to not worry about losing more weight. Sometimes obsessing about weight when you are already close to a normal body weight is not healthy. It might be better to lift weights. Even women benefit highly from heavyweights as it helps to build curves. Constantly striving to lift heavier is a measurable goal and feeling stronger is always a neat feeling. I know when I lift, it releases a bunch of endorphins.

Kettlebells are awesome and you can do that sort of workout at home if you wanted, just make sure to do your research. I personally use a power rack and barbells, but the equipment can get expensive.

Yeah, people sometimes don't want you to change. They want to keep you where you are. My buddy tried to peer pressure me into drinking some beers with him, but I had to turn him down more than a few times. I am different in that regard though, I love to drink! It is fun for me, but I am going for the disciplined route to improvement.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety is the worst. Sometimes certain people can cause it, especially people who are act hot and cold, flighty, and are just overall unpredictable. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with them all the time. You could try to go about your day and you say/do one tiny thing and they blow up on you.

[midnightmoon05]

thank you for sharing...
I had first hand two weeks ago after i return to my classroom full of eager students as well as myself back in aug. ready to take on a new school yr.
it wasn't until i learned that I have a handful of challenging students.
after 4-5 days, my middle back was in so much pain and wasn't able to sleep (otherwise I am a very lay back person, nothing worries me)
the pain lasted 2 days. the pain disappeared by Friday moring after
i went to other teachers for help how to solve the problem... i learned a few strategies and I learned more about my challenging students...
those two days brought anxiety, i was angry at everyone and the pain on my back, lack of sleep... i was ready to quick or thinking i would get a mental break down...

today, i smiled and chatted with my principle. she thank me for not taking a day off from my bad cold/allergy/lost voice... i told her about my anxiety...
the kids are still in my classroom, but i am approaching the situations differently..

hope you are able to find a way to get though it without meds...

[dude64bro]

I'd hope to be able to get by without them in the future, but right now I'm more content than I have ever been :). I'm happy I noticed I had an anxiety problem and got help.

I'm a new person because of it.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

I looked up that song on YouTube. I may add it as background music when I'm tinkering around with things at my workbench. Thank you.

I probably would have been diagnosed with severe anxiety when I was a child and my early teen years if they'd made those kind of diagnoses in the 80s and early 90s. Being bullied by older, bigger kids and treated like shit by teachers and school administrators because you're male and you don't have the right last name can do that to a person I guess.

Never talked to anyone about it. What I did is, I started fighting. As soon as it looked like someone was going to make trouble for me, the fight was on. Once I went into the military I also started drinking. Not constantly or anything, I'd have a few strong drinks in a social setting to help me relax and loosen up.

Nowadays I simply don't give any fucks about what anyone might say or think, I'm still ready to fight if I need to, and apparently I'm intimidating so people don't talk shit or start anything. Knowing that you can scare the shit out of most people, and kick the shit out a good portion of those that aren't smart enough to realize they should shut their cum dumpster, *and* not giving a fuck about other people's opinions, do wonders to get rid of anxiety. You'd probably be surprised just how well Not Giving a Fuck works.

For s good laugh go to YouTube and search for "Not Giving a Fuck" by Jon Lajoie. It's hilarious.

[Anonymous]

I also have anxiety when walking in school or in stores where I would fear that people will stare at me. Worst of all it happens for real that I would turn into ice when a group of girls or guys is staring at me, sometimes my legs would shake until I have gotten rid of them when standing in a line for class. When swimming a group of guys would follow every swimming movement or meter I swim, all of them would stand and whisper and stare at me wide eyed or have their jaws dropped, and I would just try to avoid their gazes and and imagine that I don't see them. When I'm are eating lunch their eyes would follow me, so therefore I would not be able to finish My lunch and run away. I RUN also when walking in stairs or hallways because I would feel their eyes and smirkings and guys talking shit about me ( I'M ARE AN GIRL!). Large group of guys would make kissing sounds and say My name all around. Girls stare at me like hell and smile? I'm are feeling creeped out! What is their problem with me? Why do I need to hide myself? The guys and girls in school are also STALKING ME! What should I do to keep myself calm and relaxed when them are stalking me secretly because The teachers are not believing me :(( and are saying that I'm are imagining everything, or at least there is one teacher who is my class teacher that spreading rumours about me in school that I'm are being crazy to other teachers and being mind sick and hallucinating everything. She is not even allowing me to protect myself when student are teasing me :,(

[dude64bro]

That sounds rough. I'd suggest looking into getting an anxiety medication, it helps so much in allowing you to not care as much and relax. Seriously, look into it and you'll thank me later.

[springocelot]

Thanks for this. Anxiety can not only manifest itself as nervousness but as a host of physical problems as well. At it's peak, I remember refusing to leave my room because the moment I did I would just become short of breath and have all sorts of pain. Tackling the demons, stress management, and relaxation is key. But I feel like these things are de-emphasized in our go go go society.

[10dsw]

Agreed.

I've never had any sort of anxiety to do with people or what not but over the years I've developed like health anxiety. Basically I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that every little symptom or sign is me getting cancer.

One time I was super convinced I had colon cancer because of gut pains when in reality I had no bleeding or anything like that, just run of the mill IBS symptoms.

So it can definitely be bad

[bloodmountain1990]

I think that's more hypochondria

[10dsw]

@bloodmountain1990 Yea exactly haha, health anxiety

[Quintessence]

It's one of those things that if you haven't experienced it firsthand, you won't understand it, because it doesn't make sense... How can you feel things like anxiety or worry or fear, and to such an extent, for no reason whatsoever?

Thanks for this Take. :)

[ThyArKai]

My best friend has really bad anxiety sometimes. I remember once in 6th grade she had a panic attack for the first time in front of me and I didn't know what to do. Now days she still deals with it, but is doing better I guess. I think people should try learning more about anxiety, depression, or any mental illness. It's a pretty serious problem and a lot of people had to experience it the hard way, since a lot of people are pretty ignorant on the issue.

[burpzzzzz]

Try taking a cold shower it's suppose to reduce it. www.lifehack.org/.../cold-shower-powerful-way-to-improve-your-mental-health

[Ceins]

It is. For me it's living in constant fear, without any logic reason to be afraid.

[lareina05]

Great mytake. Anxiety is a huge problem! My doctor told me I had it and it has come with other medical issues. Anxiety and stress can kill you

[Browneye57]

Geez, more reason for people to be on drugs.

More psycho-babble.

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya but guys are the main gender expected to get this handled which bothers me a lot

[dude64bro]

Being a man, the hardest thing I realized I had to overcome was my own pride. I needed to get out of my own way to help myself. After all, asking for help makes you look incredibly weak and vulnerable.

[onepunchman01]

Good take dude I thought the same at the beginning but nice to know

[Nice222]

Thank you for sharing. This is a very misunderstood problem.

[anewgirl]

Now I really want to hear that Marconi Union song.

[Exobuut]

That song is pretty insane. Nice post.

[Anonymous]

I have anxiety. It's the worst feeling

[YingKim]

It is a problem for me also 😵

[sedrftvgyhujik]

iv definitly felt very anxtios before and it sucks

[John_Doesnt]

My anxiety gives me problems wit3h.