Why Guys DO Lift for Women

I was scrolling through GAG when I stumbled upon a mytake that was featured on the front page with the title Guys Don't Lift just For Women... I read through the mytake and it had a lot of great points in it, however I was reading through the comment section and saw that a lot of people were saying that you shouldn't lift for women because it "won't get you far" and "you'll quit after a while". I have been lifting for about two years now and my main motivation is to attract attractive women. Here is why guys lift to attract girls:

1.) A rough past

Ever since middle school I've always wanted a girlfriend. The reasons as to why I wanted a girlfriend changed over time. When I was in middle school, it was because I thought I would look cool if I had a girlfriend, in high school it was because I didn't want to feel alone and I'd always get jealous of seeing other couples kiss and stuff. Now that I'm a freshman in college, it's because I want to have a relationship with someone who is similar to me. I still get jealous of seeing couples together because I want to have that feeling too, but I mainly want a girlfriend so I can talk to her about stuff and she can talk to me about stuff. Ever since middle school, I've been rejected by women. I've only ever been with one girl, which lasted a few weeks. After doing a little bit of research, I found out that the main two reasons girls rejected me were that I was too ugly and too skinny. I couldn't fix my ugliness, but I could fix my weight. The day I found out that that was the reason I was being rejected was the day I signed up for a gym membership.

2.) To get a girlfriend

I talked about me wanting a girlfriend in my last point, but again, the main reason I lift is so I can attract girls and get a girlfriend. Every time I go to the gym and lift, I first sit on the waiting bench and scroll through Instagram. I look through some Victoria's secret model's Instagram page(or a girl I have a huge crush on's Instagram page) and say to myself "You see her? She only goes out with buff dudes. You're a scrawny little fuck, you think she would ever want to date you? Think again. Now get started on working out and get buff so she can be your girlfriend". Sounds shallow, I know, but that is how I get motivated, and I've been doing it for two years now. Unfortunately, I am still skinny, but hopefully one day I will be muscular and then I can attract the girl of my dreams.

3.) Because girls DO enjoy it

I know there are some girls out there who don't like muscles and stuff, and that is perfectly fine. However, a lot of girls do (especially college girls). If a muscular guy just walked around a college campus with his shirt off, he would be getting stares from plenty of women. By societal standards, it's attractive. I want to be able to walk around my college campus shirtless too because it would be the easiest way to get a girl's number. Just like guys enjoy big asses and big boobs, girls enjoy a guy who is muscular.

Conclusion

It shouldn't matter what your motivation is, because motivation is motivation. If you are going to the gym, you are already ahead of the other guys who don't go at all. There are guys who's gym motivation isn't all about girls, and I respect that. Another motive I had for going to the gym was getting fit for the Marine Corps. After high school, I was planning on either joining the Marines, or joining the Army, but that changed when I got accepted into a really nice university and I knew it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I'm still debating whether or not to enlist after college, but that is besides the point. The point is, I've been motivated by attractive girls for a while now and I still am always excited to go to the gym. Just like anyone else who lifts, I've been on a month long hiatus before, but I got back into it. Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment down below.


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What Girls Said 11

  • 3d

    Okay, so.

    First, you need to consider WHY you haven't had any success with women.
    No, it's not "because you're too skinny". (Plenty of women are attracted to slimmer boys... especially at your age.)
    And unless yr face is literally deformed, no, it's not "because you're ugly" either. (Just from that comment, I'd bet $$$ that you've had the same hairstyle and fashion sense since you were 11 years old. Am I right?
    ... If so, then, that's not the same thing as "ugly". For gawd's sake, shut it and go get a makeover.)

    Where I'm rlly going with this is...
    •••Have you been unsuccessful with women BECAUSE YOU'RE SHY, RETICENT OR SOCIALLY AWKWARD?•••

    If the answer to that question is YES... then... if you build the physique of a superhero, you'll do even WORSE with women.
    Yep.
    Worse.
    ... Not because "women aren't attracted to that"... but, because we ALL have certain expectations of ••internal consistency•• when it comes to how people act and present themselves. (That's "we ALL", not just women.)
    If a boy is a big strapping hunk who looks like he could star in the next Marvel or DC movie... well... how would YOU expect that kind of boy to act? Probably words like "fearless", "aggressive", and even "reckless" come to mind, right?
    ... Right.
    Sooooooo if some boy has that sort of look but then starts stuttering and swallowing his words as soon as a woman is in front of him — and/or is a motormouth but is clearly terrified of making a move or getting physical — then, that's WEIRD AND CREEPY. The pieces don't fit together.
    In that case, it feels like the boy is fundamentally ••unstable••. Possibly even unstable in that scary, potentially dangerous, Elliott Rodger sort of way.

    For a male perspective, @tony_1693 will back me up on this.

    From my own experience, I've become an inadvertent life coach for a couple young men who ••started•• working out for the kinds of reasons you wrote, and who got so hooked that they became professional fitness models.
    Did that help them with women? ... Nah
    Did it even help them get laid? ... Nah. In fact, THIS became NOTICEABLY worse for those boys (... because when it comes to fucking right away, initial vibes are EVERYTHING).
    Those things didn't improve until some real, honest-to-shit CONFIDENCE was in place.

    If YOU were a woman.. Would YOU fuck YOU?
    If the answer isn't "HELL yeah"... then... boy, you got some work to do. On you.

    __

    Also, I can't

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    • 3d

      help asking where you did this "research" that led you to the conclusions that you're "too skinny" and "too ugly".
      Because I have this feeling that yr "research" was limited to those circle-jerk forums made specifically for boys who don't get laid... on which those boys ALWAYS blame things that they can't control (like their height or facial structure), so that they can shrug off the possibility of... y'know, actually doing some introspection and ••improving•• themselves.

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    • 2d

      This is way offtoo topic, but socially awkward guys is not badin at all!

    • 2d

      This is way off topic, but socially awkward guys are not bad at all.**

  • 3d

    Tbh if a reason soo weak kept u going and motivated u I wonder what an important significant reason would make u do I think u got strength in u but if u change ur "why" and get higher motivation u will be surprised what u will do
    Bc it sounds like u r disciplined for just the sake of discipline which is great but the day u find a higher reason u will break boinderies
    So in all it sounds like u got lots of hidden potential hidden under a Small reason
    To explain more imagine there was a blind person dont u think he will do anything any cure to get that sweet taste of light he will work day and night for it
    Now imagine someone who can see if he is working day and night for the cure of blindness it takes lots of discipline and motitivation for the sake of discipline and fun I guess
    Now if that normal guy with that much discipline changes his "why "into a higher one I guess he will make miracles

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  • 7d

    So staring at oneself in a mirror for extended periods of time is the way to attract a woman, to you? Interesting.

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    • 7d

      No, getting muscles is the way to attract the majority of attractive women.

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    • 1d

      Lol your ignorance is amazing. Out of everything I've said that's your only response? You must be quite the buzzkill. And do you truly think I care what some random snowflake thinks?

    • 1d

      @samsmoove that’s all y’all care about. You are shallow, vain and insecure. You have no interests beyond your looks and disparaging those of others. Your image is the only thing that matters to you.

  • 3d

    Not having a girlfriend is a rough past? Okay then...

    It's plain and simple, guys lift to impress females.

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    • 3d

      Yeah it is. I’ve been rejected a whole bunch of times by girls who think I’m ugly and skinny. It was tough for me

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    • 2d

      No, I can't say I do.

    • 2d

      It's not the end of the world though. Your mother loves you.

  • Yeah that take was pretty weird... it was about bodybuilders not lifting for women, which we already know.

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  • ugh pretty sure dudes did lifts just get puff ripped, not for girls.

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    • Some do yes, but others like myself are lifting to impress women, which 90% of the time works

    • 7d

      yes it works i dont know why but women really dig men who dont sit around playing videogames

  • makes sense

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  • 6d

    It's okay.

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  • 2d

    Awesome!! 👌👌 At least, you had motivation.

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  • 5d

    i think there are other reasons

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  • Love guys who lift. So masculine

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    • And it’s girls like you that I️ lift for

What Guys Said 21

  • Once in a while casual gym goers are typically the guys who go just to impress women. Guys who actually dedicate themselves to the lifestyle have motives far past just women. In other words, the guys with the real physiques are the guys who go for reasons other than just women.

    The guys who go for just women are at best, mediocre. Attracting women is not a good enough reason to live such a demanding and disciplined lifestyle. The guys who do it just to impress women end up giving up and never passing that threshold because they don't have much passion at all. That passion has to be there for that motivates you and drives you to keep going when you don't want to. Women... well, that's not enough of a reason.

    ^ Copy and paste from what I said in response.

    ____

    I sincerely doubt that you're going to build an impressive physique if your only motive is to satisfy others. It's just not going to happen. If you prove me wrong, then contact me in three years and tell me "I told you so." Most guys who have impressive physique have an intense inner drive that doesn't stem off of this factor of impressing others.

    Also... former Marine here. Going to boot and earning your EGA will give you more confidence than a slightly above average physique ever would. Why don't you go the comissioned route?

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    • I agree with tony. I started lifting for girls, but doing a bit of research would tell you that the ideal body to attract girls looks something like ryan gosling's. After a few years of lifting his body looked pathetic to me, and I knew I wanted to have a far better physique than that.

    • If you mean the officer route by the “commissioned” route than I️ don’t want to because it’s extreamly competitive and I️ don’t think I’ll be top of the class. If you keep updating your motivation, then you’ll get far.

  • 7d

    I think a guy can lift for health and fitness reasons and still develop a body that is aesthetically pleasing. Studies have shown that most women prefer a man who is average to fit, but aren't particularly enthralled by guys who are massive with bulging muscles. That isn't to say some women aren't, but a few studies show that about 12% bodyfat is about where a guy should be for optimal attractiveness level. That is more fat that allows for abs to show!

    You don't need to be very muscular, but it does seem that women universally like some muscle tone and that "V" shape.

    You don't need to have "passion" for that, but you do need consistency and a clean diet.

    If for nothing else, lift and exercise to boost your health, energy, confidence, and performance. If you like the way you look, women will notice and sense that confidence. That is all you really need.

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  • I don't know how old you are, I had the same mindset when I was a teen and it definitely made a tremendous difference, but it won't last.
    You will find a girlfriend and then your motivation will fade away, then you might get dumped and start working out again or maybe you will go through a dry spell and think "well, what is the point?".
    It's not a reliable motivation.

    I've had surgery this year and I couldn't work out for 3 months and that alone wiped out like a year of progress for me.
    A month long hiatus is bad, you need to find motivation that will allow you to follow your routine without exceptions.

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    • I’m 18 and this motivation is gonna last. When I️ get a girlfriend, my mindset will change to “alright, see that buff dude over there? He’s gonna steal your girl because of how buff he is. You want to get cheated on? You have the body of someone who will get cheated on? Now go and get a better body than him.”

  • Completely off point but have you considered ROTC and going into the Army or USMC as an officer? Might as well since you're already putting in the years for college.

    Like someone else said it's a pretty weak motivation. If a chick would dump me if I stopped going to the gym (assuming that was the only problem she had in the relationship) I wouldn't want to date her anyway. I think most chicks are fine dating a guy who doesn't have muscle. Most do.

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    • Yeah I’ve considered ROTC, but I️ went to a recruiters office and I️ learned that it isn’t right for me. You have to be the top of the ROTC class to even be considered to go to OCS and then OCS is hard too. It’s much easier to just enlist after college where you’ll come out of basic an E4. And as long as you have the mind set of “that’s what that hot chick wants, a dude who’s muscular” then I️ think you’ll get pretty far.

    • 5d

      Yeah, I agree. It's good to find a productive motivation, instead of a cyclical one.

  • 5d

    I dunno dude, life isn't a video game. I don't think there's an optimal musculature that optimizes the rate at which you can catch girls.

    "Get +4 musculature, and then you get the 10% bonus to girl catching! (optimal build)"

    No, there's a point at which you're 'good enough' and then after that, it's the social skills that you end up having to work on. If you're ugly, then you just have to put that much more work into it, I think.

    According to women though, I'm apparently not that ugly, so I can't fully speak for you.

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  • I lift so that I can pick a man up and slam him on his skull hard enough to break his teeth.

    If my muscles are aesthetically pleasing to women, that's nice. I guess.

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  • They say they don't like guys with muscles... what they really mean is the roid heads that take it too far...
    The average guy that looks ripped and shredded but lean... still takes years in the gym - and girls go gaga over guys with bodies like that...

    They just say bullshit like they don't to downplay what they really like lol...

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  • You are a victim of the terrible myth. Yes females are definitely attracted to muscular males. But here's the myth: Females are only attracted to muscular males. Lol.

    There are many ways to look attractive. Certainly a skinny and healthy looking male with an attractive face may definitely be more attractive to a female than an attractive muscular male.

    And many men are attracted to women with small or petite breasts and hips.

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    • Most attractive females are attracted to muscles. If you have an ugly face, but big muscles then you’ll be considered more attractive than a guy who is unattractive with no muscles.

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    • 5d

      As for 'cute bishi boys/semi-traps with smaller bodies' it again DEPENDS on what the woman prefers. Lol

    • 5d

      @Nobodycares Exactly. Same for men.

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  • 7d

    Speak for yourself lol. I lift because 1. It's fun and the adrenaline rush is amazing. 2. I like being the strongest/biggest guy in the room especially in highschool 3. It keeps me in shape and gives me something to work for. I had no troubles with females before I started lifting (how i looked in my profile pic was right before I started) so lifting for them doesn't even cross my mind when I'm in the gym.

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  • Most guys do "lift" (cant call this bunch of crap routine lifting but whatever...) to look better. Agreed.

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  • 5d

    Yeah there's some truth to this, like I also work out to attract girls, but I also do it for myself. To get as strong and fit as I can.

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  • 7d

    Yeah, everyone wants to dock their fuel rod to a nice girl's oyster pit but even if we weren't getting laid we would still exercise.

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  • I do it because I like being in shape for the outdoors stuff I enjoy.

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  • 6d

    Because works.

    But to be honest i lift to feel with myself. To look good inside a shirt, for example.

    And not all women like muscular guys, some don't. So it's good you lift more for yourself than all.

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  • Almost everything men do is to impress women.

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    • You must have a pretty shitty life if your life revolve around trying to impress women.

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    • No, i really don't.
      I don't go out my way to impress women.
      In fact, it's their job to do the impressing.
      They need to impress me, i'm not desperate. I do shit for myself, not for women's validation.

    • 7d

      @HeAintMe Very good and attractive attitude! I wished more men would see that by loving themselves and letting women do some of the impressing they're automatically attractive.

  • i lift to be stronger n get respect but gettign girls is coll i guess

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  • I do "lift" for myself. When I looking good I feeling better myself.

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  • 6d

    Yeah lift for women, but what women? To get a date I would not only have to walk around shirtless, I would practically have to walk around naked flexing to get noticed. Moving to the country and getting out of the city I am.

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  • Uh, I don't really do it for women.. I do it to feel better about myself. Not all women are attracted to gym ratted meatheads..

    I don't want BIG HUGE GIGANTIC muscle. i don't think it looks good, nor do I want a woman with them, but, I do want to FEEL better. Right now, when I go out walking the dog, I come home, feeling like crap. So, I've been doing simply workout routine that is helping me feel a lot better.. it also makes me feel less guilty about how much I put in my mouth

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    • I️ respect it. And you’re right girls don’t like the roided guys who take it too far, but a lot of attractive women love men with muscles.

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    • If she likes you for your personality, yes, but we are talking about physical appearance which is more important in the beginning stages. If you want an attractive girl, you have to be attractive yourself in order to even talk to her

    • I got my girlfriend, from my personality, I don't think she saw how I looked

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