Stalking = Desire > Reason

[Wowgirl30q]

Stalking = Desire > Reason

This is a very important topic. A topic that I feel is often taken too lightly. This is something I have been a victim of myself. I wanted to shortly highlight just how sick the mind of a obsessed stalker really is.

Warning: If this offends you you're probably a freak or a stalker!

When the desire or want for something overtakes the brains ability to rationalize a situation or a relationship, the human mind can form deadly obsessions. The chances of a woman being stalked are an estimated 1 in 14; for men, it is 1 in 50. Other sources claim even higher numbers of victims.

1 in 5; women will be stalked in their lifetime, compared to only 1 in 25; for men.

-American Psychological Association

What Are They Thinking?

Stalkers are obsessed with their victims, and this obsession is expressed in many ways. Some common reasons for this obsession include power, control, and sometimes revenge. Most stalkers don’t take responsibility for their actions and blame others for making them do what they do ( kill, torture, harass ).

Since most stalkers are unable to develop normal personal relationships through more conventional or socially acceptable ways, they have only a life of fantasy relationships with persons they hardly know, if at all. They are usually very socially awkward and a large number have a criminal history of some kind.

General Characteristic of a Stalker

The vast majority of stalkers suffer from a mental disorder. Regardless of the specific disorder, nearly all display some delusional thought patterns and behavioral problems. This behavior can usually be tracked to the stalkers adolescent years. This is when the brain starts a new process of its development.

Are There Different Types of Stalkers?

Yes, they actually there are several different types of stalkers.

Thankfully, The American Psychological Association developed a clinically now validated stalker classification system to identify an individual stalker’s type, risks, and probable responses to management interventions of the Five + types of stalkers.

Thanks for everyone reading and remember.....

#wowgirl30q #WowGirlRocks

#WowGirlRocks

[TonyMetal_1986]

Never knew that owl girls get stalked 😄

Who stalked you OWLY girl? Weren't they afraid when they saw that you never smile and looking like an owl!

Anyways, i believe that sometimes you should face your stalker and have a chat with him cause maybe you can reach an agreement with him so he doesn't become dangerous and causes a threat on your life!

I believe that a married girl will face such cases a lot less than a single girl and a married woman would feel a lot more safe in her house especially when her husband is around her, the stalker knows that he should target single women and single women should always held something for their own safety...

If the stalker is negotiable, things can end easily with agreements and if he'a aggressive and will cause a threat on your life then you should report him to the police, be cautious and try not to stay alone as much as you can!

Next time if someone stalks you owly girl, call me so i beat him with my stone age wooden club, after i save you, i want you to bake me 20 pieces of muffins and a glass of FRESH orange juice 😋

[Wowgirl30q]

Nice seeing you dear @TonyMetal_1986

[TonyMetal_1986]

Thanks owly girly, happy to see the owl again too 😊

[TonyMetal_1986]

Tnx for the mho owly girl 😊

[Wowgirl30q]

Anytime love💛

[lightbulb27]

you have me very in intreagued.

Would this be why dudes try to kidnap kids, it's in their fantasy world. Any idea what their fantisies end up looking like as they get into "treatment"... eg. did they think teh child was an adult, etc..

Lastly, what is the normal treatment for them? and does it work?

I've been reading what a counslor built up over years to effectively locate and heal childhood trauma wounds. I wonder if this is being attempted with tehse people or if it is really just the same old USA approach... drug them!!

It's not easy to rewire a mind, they have to want to rewire their own mind... and see their flaws. and that is a big challenge

and these people are walking around all over the place becuase they get out of jail, if they ever get there... we need mental hospitals again... or maybe an entire state...

[Wowgirl30q]

I am not a doctor and can not make some of those types of recommendations sorry

[lightbulb27]

gocha. I wasn't asking for recommendations but got the sense you may be familiar with how they are treated so could provide insight. no problem.

[Wowgirl30q]

I am but its so much stuff to get into

[LEETSBEREAL]

@Wowgirl30q your living up to your name - that was amazing... but where's the rest! You've got me hooked and I'm like noooo where are the 5+ types of stalkers? Can you send me the link to where you got this information I want to read more!

[Wowgirl30q]

I'll finish it someday

[Wowgirl30q]

And thank you

[LEETSBEREAL]

can't wait 🤗

[Wowgirl30q]

Thanks love

[anniisa]

Good Take, was really interesting. Was ready to learn the types of stalkers there are and then it came to an end lol. I'll carry on reading up about it

[MORPHEUS_12]

This pretty much sums it up.

[courtney06]

Great take. You described one of my exes. He went from trying to get my attention outside my job several times a week, to several times a month, to once a month, and now to once every 6 months. I admit, I used to love when he stalked me because it made me feel romanced, important, and wanted. However, once he showed me his true colors, l made it clear verbally and nonverbally that I want nothing to do with him. Now if he were to come inside my workplace today, I would just call the cops on speakerphone and report him for trespassing since my boss already told him not to come inside. I would not react to him, look as if I am under distress around him, or have any form of dialogue with him because that's what he wants. If my boss is present he can tell him to leave.

My ex hasn't come inside my workplace in over a year now I'm proud to say that. Last year when he tried to get my attention through the glass window, I just got up and went to another room where he couldn't see me. My boss saw the whole thing. I think that really embarrassed my ex and hurt his ego because I didn't see him for months after that. Serves him right.

When his stalking was more frequent over a year ago, I did try to get a restraining order but it was denied. Since he lives too close to my job and I had a history of being on and off with him romantically, the judge didn't take it seriously. It might have been a blessing in disguise that the restraining order got denied because my ex might be the type to retaliate and cause more problems if he were to find out he got a restraining order against him.

Yes I made a poor decision when I chose to get romantically involved with him. I was desperate and naive at the time and learned a valuable lesson. I thought I was in control but I wasn't. With the criminal history my ex has, I'm lucky I survived that without physical wounds and still have a clean record (because people with a huge criminal record can drag someone with a clean record into their mess). There were some things lost that I'll never get back, but I still have my life and now an improved level of self-respect. Now I stay far far away from people like him the minute I pick up those bad vibes. I don't even want them as friends or acquaintances. Out of all the relationships I've been in, that really pushed me to change.

[Jjpayne]

I like that you acknowledge that they are not thinking normally. But part of me thinks about dating culture and wonders if the are connected, do women find dates easier than a man does? I'm not saying that's a complete reason at all but it's an idea of a breeding ground for a desperate mind... I wonder, if dating was more common with many people, if stalking from both genders would go down in numbers... But as you said for most it involves a mental disorder which is not that far serial killer

[Wowgirl30q]

Peeping Tom's are next actually

[Jjpayne]

I'd say peeping Tom's are more innocent than stalkers... I'd say that comes first... Stalking is an action to hunt and find a girl which can lead to a violent action where peeping Tom's just stare and are generally scared away... At least that's my take it

[Jjpayne]

*my take on it

[Wowgirl30q]

Not really

[boombastik]

My girlfriend had a stalker when I met her. He's would drive by her house 15-20 times a day. He would pay people go call him when they seen her away from her house and he would try running her off the road or be parked behind her when she came out from places she went. He has some her phone when he ran up to her car and attacked her, done multiple damage to her car etc. and it wasn't until he stole her car that he quit stalking her but only because he doesn't know where she's at now so he done her a favor. Guess he didn't think that all the way through. The police would never do anything, even with proof because he was informing on people. Her dad is a retired cop and it didn't help. I guess catching a drug dealer is more important than someone's life or safety.

[kymberz]

@boombastik yer a really good guy! tell your girlfriend i said that. she'll agree with me!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Excellent myTake, you perfectly nailed it.
I had to deal with such a person, an ex girlfriend and her associate, and it's true those people can make life a living hell and sap the will to go on.
What's worse about them is that they think they "own" the person that's object of their obsession, and would rather destroy it than letting go.

[Wowgirl30q]

Thank you.
You get it👍

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

"I prefer for us to be unhappy together rather than have you happy without me" ("Preferisco che stiamo male insieme che averti felice senza di me) - an actual thing she texted me.

[Wowgirl30q]

Woooooow
Thank the Lord you got out of that.
Boarderline at its fullest

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Yep!

[Wowgirl30q]

(🤗hugs) now go be happy with a nice sane girl..
Thanks again

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you, I'm very much happier with my fiancée.

[Wowgirl30q]

She sounds great 😊

[Robertcw]

Man that sounds like my mom.

[JimmyQ]

If I want to get to know you and you get all weird, then I know everything about you I want to know. I think some people's twisted little minds want to make others out to be bad just so they can have something to talk about.

According to the BJS, most reports of stalking are false. Only 45% are verified and of those that are, the great majority are X-lovers, X-wives, X-husbands, xxx.

Then when I try to look up how many people per year are killed by stalking, the figures don't exist.

My take is, if you don't like someone, just tell them you don't like them. Most people will be happy to leave you alone.

You know, you weirdo chics are making this world a dangerous place for men to survive and then you wonder why no one is interested in you.

[kymberz]

i don't like the way you chose to word this but your point is very clear and i would have to say that in the end - i agree with you! your last sentence is so very true but we have to find a better way to say it because yes - if it keeps going like it's been going with the victim society and the hashtagmetoo! thing then we are all screwed - not just the guys!

[kymberz]

oh one last thing - what i really like about your last sentence is - yes we are making it incredibly difficult for men to survive! i couldn't agree more. and we need to stop. so that decent guys can finally breathe again!

[Glorious_Gay_Dragon]

You think the fact that stalking itself isn't the act that kills someone is a mitigation? Of course "stalking" doesn't have a statistical body count because when stalkers MURDER people, the crime goes under the MURDER column on the chart. Absolute knobhead😒

[Wowgirl30q]

@Glorious_Gay_Dragon thank you

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Wow. I actually like you. and yes, I do need to work on my phrasing. Thanks.

[JimmyQ]

@Glorious_Gay_Dragon Thanks for your comment. I've filed it under idiots.

[Wowgirl30q]

Really I put yours under the letter B

[Wowgirl30q]

B is for bullshit

[JimmyQ]

@ wowgirl30g Well thanks i guess. At least you didn't burn it and throw it on your little sister.

[Wowgirl30q]

I'm an only child 🙂

[kymberz]

JimmyQ - it takes a big guy to admit that so i like you too. but i liked you when i read your response. so don't change for anyone ever k? just grow. and become the best you that you can be!

[JimmyQ]

@Wowgirl30q Congratulations, you win. Bye.

[kymberz]

oh and i am reading through the comments and i have no idea what everyone is on about. so if you trust me - just skip all of that other stuff and just read my last to you. i think you have great potential and i want nothing more than for men to be able to breathe again... ya know?

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Dito.

[Wowgirl30q]

@kymberz @JimmyQ thank you both for being respectful in your opinions. Not being sarcastic some people just get mean

[Wowgirl30q]

@JimmyQ I hope you weren't saying bye to me under my writing because that would be odd I'm kinda tied to it

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Baby, I think I might love you. Why not? You are smart, kind and other stuff. LOL, I'd ask you out, but Canada is a big place and it might take a team of huskies just to find you.

[kymberz]

yep. see? you can always find like-minded people if you bother looking! and have the ability to get over yourself. so thank you again. i think you really got what i was saying... kinda like i really got what you were saying. so it's really nice to find an ally!

[kymberz]

oh and that is to JimmyQ!

[kymberz]

bahahahah! ok that was the bestest comeback i have ever seen - you rock dude! keep it coming! i like you too! didn't i already say that?

[kymberz]

and Canada is pretty big - bahahahah! oh really. your last was just so funny! i loved it!

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Okay girl. Give me a clue. I'm actually pretty good at this.

[kymberz]

what? oh really yer killing me and some of these comments from others are to die for - bahahahahah! so what are you really good at? finding canada? yep that's pretty impressive! bahahahah! this is fun buddy!

[kymberz]

OMG - yer christian? oh for the love of all that is holy now i am in love with you too baby - bahahahah! ok - this is waaaay tooooo funny!

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Yeah, just follow the grizzlies on migration day, then stop when you find a place that sells Molson by the case. Girls will just be lining up to find out where this long blond haired stranger with the cold case of Molson is heading to.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Anywhere south of the north will do just fine.

[kymberz]

what? is it just me or does no one have a fucking clue what you are yabbering on about? but i have to admit it's fun stuff! i really love your sentence structure - oh holy heck - did i actually just say that?

[Wowgirl30q]

@kymberz are you talking to me?

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz I am a writer. Live with it. LOL

[JimmyQ]

@Glorious_Gay_Dragon Dear GGD, sorry you are so offended that there are no stalking murders reported by the myriads of stalking websites that are supposed to be tracing these sorts of things. I hope that there is a support group for depressed gay dragons in your area. I know you need us men to all be bad so that you can justify your own aberrant behavior but we are just too busy living our lives and don't have the time or energy to devote to your needs.

Please understand. We live here too. :)

[kymberz]

yer really a writer? tell me more please?

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz And a musician too. I love county music as well as pop rock. I working on a novel right now. It's title is "Cowboys in Training".

[kymberz]

oh. right. and i'm not supposed to put the snow shovel down - and i hate shoveling snow by the way - and just go running and screaming to wherever you are and jump on you declaring my over-the-top batsh*t crazy love for you? sure.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Wow, Hormones much? LOL Wusa, do the breathing thing. You'll be okay.

But on the other hand, you never even told me where you live? I'm in West Virginia, USA.

[kymberz]

well of course you are in west virginia! next up you'll be telling me yer a dead ringer for Rob Thomas or Dolph Lundgren or some strange combination of the two? sure.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz No. More of a young Sean Connery but with a full head of shoulder length blonde hair.

[kymberz]

dang. sean connery was always better looking when he was mature. oh well. you can't win them all. so a crushing, wv surfer? well that's definitely odd.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Not so odd. I just walked out of the house one day and said I'm not gonna cut my hair anymore. That was about 2 1/2 years ago.

[kymberz]

really? is there more to that story? i haven't cut mine in like 9ish years? ya about that.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Well, it's not a great story. My then wife just looked at me one day and said, "I'm tired of looking at you", meaning me, and then told me to get out of the house so that's when I decided to grow out my hair and haven't been back.

Woman tell me that they think it's attractive and I get asked all the time about health secrets and beauty tips. It's really very funny. Most of them never even guess that I'm twice their age.

And as Paul Harvey used to say, "Now you know the rest of the story."

[kymberz]

i used to love Paul Harvey - i was a broadcast journalist. and a korean linguist. in the military. and a mermaid. of course women love your hair - it's full-bodied right? like you have waves and curls and stuff? why are we talking here on this long comment? i talk to my friend Jonathan and his girlfriend on the private message thing. and i am sorry that you went through that with your wife - that must have been hard.

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Sorry if this disappoints. Full yes, but straight as hair can be. What else you got in mind?

[kymberz]

straight? well that's cool too! i don't know but if you want to yak - me and my other friends do it in the message thing and it is difficult trying to get back to these comments - make sense? i just think yer fun and interesting and the other people i have met so far have me in fits of laughter and joy and you said Wusa - isn't it spelled Woosah?

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz By Jove, I think you've got it. So, what's your plan detail here or there or where?

[kymberz]

i have no idea what you are saying Zeus? do you want me to message you?

[kymberz]

ok... well i followed you earlier or something? you have to follow me or accept the request thingy that i sent?

[JimmyQ]

@kymberz Oh, ? I'll check it out.

[OlderAndWiser]

The incidence of stalking is impossible to accurately assess. There are some people who falsely report stalking as a means of getting revenge in relationships gone bad, there are some people who will report two phone calls as stalking, and there are people who will not report stalking when it does occur. Men are probably less likely to report stalking because they feel less threatened by an obsessive female.

[backinblack22]

Good insights. You make a good point about mental disorders having a major impact on a stalkers behavior. That doesn’t let them off the hook but society needs to identify these problems with kids/adolescents early and get them treatment. I read that stalkers usually have very low serotonin levels.

Also about 1 out 5 women and 1 out 25 men being stalked. Does this include someone checking up on social media on somebody constantly (but not making any contact) lol. I’ve had people do that to me and I confess I’ve done it to other people. Not healthy either way. But just saying I believe 4 out 5 young women and 3 out 5 young men might have been cyber stalked.

[s2firestar]

Lol I am stalked professionally. Twice a year when the background checks are done. It's not the same, but I had a similar feeling, especially when I found a camera installed looking in one of my windows. I got pissed and made sure to let them see my rather hairy ass as many times as it was feasible. Trust me... it has never happened again.

Internal affarirs realised that I am an idiot, and not at all afraid to set some boundaries. XD

Then again, "civilian" stalkers are not a problem for me. I am good at hiding my tracks and also being invisible and hard to get to.

Perks of livong in a military base.

[PeteyB]

I definitely agree, most stalker types suffer from sort of disorder, be it social or mental. I also think people of certain levels of general awkwardness or anxiety may exhibit stalker-like behaviors while not intending to exert power or control over them.

[monkeynutts]

Interesting topic, probably right, I think the use of stalking now can be even political, and for the purpose of harassment, I wonder if paparazzi could be charged because they constantly follow and photograph celebrities, and do they have the same types of mental disorders associated with stalkers.

[DiegoO]

Not sure if it's stalking but now and then I check my ex LD girlfriend FB, wondering what she is doing with her life because she barely publishes anything on her page and asking her is equal to been ghosted. Even though I don't ghost her when she asks me how I am doing.

I also do it because sometimes I still ask my self who is she exactly. We never get to know each other well. I even reach to the extreme of looking her up on Google, and recently I check her address on google map (she lives in another continent). The google map address was saved. I taught I deleted everything related to her.

For the sake of my sanity, I will delete the address.

[SamirahD22]

Yep and there is someone on this app who literally stalks other users post only to copy it verbatim then lie. It's no "secret". Sorry just ranting (not referring to you) but I'm sure you are aware of this user

[Wowgirl30q]

No message me

[Wowgirl30q]

Is it a chick?

[N192K001]

My gosh, really‽

Has this been discussed with the Admin.'s?
https://www.girlsaskguys.com/contact

[SamirahD22]

Yes it's a chick. she did it to the "coach" too

[SamirahD22]

@N192K001 they know and took away one of her badges already.

[Wolkmi]

Without offending, women are more harassed but also more desired. They have sexual value over men and suitors and options in tinder and so on. I do not justify it only that women suffer harassment because they are the ones that are approach because men want sex more, women also boast of the sexual power they have... I just say that men do not suffer harassment but I would like it if it had a great sexual value in the world of love and dating and sex, or having partners easily, or having unrealistic standards and having dates that fit into them or using men as kleenex.
Harassment or sexual violence but be desired and have suitors and that people take care of you i think is better than, like many men, be alone and have nothing.

[lovedejj_xo]

The person that sexually assaulted me practically stalked me. I keep things on me at all times because I will stab him next time he does something like try to break into my car again and I stated that to the cops. They let people get away too many times for stalking a protective order means nothing to a stalker or someone that lacks boundaries lol

[4mazing]

I really disagree with this take. Most of the stalkers I have heard about that ended up harming someone were possessive, jealous ex-boyfriends or current boyfriends - not mentally ill guys who imagined the entire relationship.

Mentally ill people are LESS likely to be violent than the general population, but often get blamed. Whereas lots of mentally sound guys commit unspeakable acts of violence, e. g. many of those implicated in the Holocaust.

[XavierSteele]

Interesting my take and totally spot on as well. It's sad but true.

[Wowgirl30q]

Thank you

[Sevenpointfive]

well you had me, but because it was interesting but why not go ahead and list the 5 types and make a poll about which type we are?

[DonCachondo]

You've pretty much covered the 'mania' stalkers, but you're totally missing the ones who have severe anxiety disorders that may have been undiagnosed or untreated. Some people's brains trick them into believing that a particular person can quell the turmoil in their souls IF ONLY... Those thoughts can linger and cycle on in your head until you just can't take it anymore. In those cases, it's tragic for both people involved.

[scooogy]

I've researched on the characteristics of a female stalker since I seemed to run into one more than once around university. After it seemed to cool down again, I remembered a fellow student of mine tell me he'd have hidden from these women due to suspecting them of stalking.

[wankiam]

its not always the motive though. quite often it can be a control thing or some notion of misguided power rather than something as simple as desire

[wankiam]

still a good mytake though and some very good points raised

[Wowgirl30q]

Thank you