How can I be a better boyfriend?

[oxecutioner]

My girlfriend who I've been dating for 6 months now is an Olympic athlete. She has all this pressure on her to perform and be the best she can be for her country. I know she likes me and we both enjoy our relationship. But when it comes to crunch time for her competition she needs to be focused and I want to be there for her no matter the result. What are some ways of supporting her. When she has a problem with her sport, she comes to me and I never really seem to give the right answer. She's been competing at a high level for over 4 years now, seen and done most of it, so I feel my advice/help/comfort is very amateur for what she needs?

Any suggestions people?

Thanks for your help.

[QueenKatie]

First of all, it is SO sweet that you want to be there as a support for someone who is clearly a remarkable woman. Many guys would feel threatened or overshadowed by a successful female athlete - you, on the other hand, are right there by her side. Which makes you pretty special.

It sounds like you are not a sports scientist, or someone with particular sporting expertise. Clearly, your girlfriend knows this. I think it's probably safe to assume that when she comes to you for advice, she is looking largely for emotional support and reassurance, rather than practical tips (even if her questions seem practical on the face of it). People who compete at the highest level are often full of anxieties, because they are pushing themselves to their limit, and sometimes beyond it. That's something the vast majority of people never do from one end of their life to the other. and it comes with its own psychological burdens. She probably needs to hear that you will love her no matter what her result is, for instance. And she probably needs the occasional reminder that her entire self-esteem and sense of worth shouldn't depend on the outcome of an event, but are tied to something inalienable about her - the who she is, at the very core of her being.

If I were you I would explain to her that you want to support her in the best way possible. And ask her what she needs directly. To be competing at the level she's at requires a huge amount of dedication to a training schedule, so I'm guessing you already work around this with her, and will therefore have plenty of natural opportunities to raise this issue. And be prepared to put her first when it comes to competition time - which occasionally may mean running around after her like a mad slave, making sure she has everything she needs so that she can forget about all extraneous matters and focus just on performance.

At the same time, make sure that outside of these 'crunch' periods, you don't neglect your own needs. You may not be an Olympic athlete, but you have wishes, desires and needs that need to be met for you to be a human being. Of course, it's not a competition between your wants and hers, but there should be a compromise, a meeting place, that allows you to feel important and fulfilled too.

Good luck!

[sephaniecamborne]

Your girlfriend is obviously love you alot. I think when you are giving her advice then it should be what you think because if she wanted profesional advice that is exactly what she would get. Just being there for her should be enought for your gf. if you stand by her if she wins or looses you are doing all you can. tell her she is the best even if she comes dead last. watch her in competitions and never let her down. treat her once in a while to a sap up meal to get rid of all the stress she is dealing with. I hope I help but if not well I'm only 14 haha x

[greg_me]

I know that if I was her, I would be a lucky girl. Encouragement is all she needs. She comes to you for the reason being she can trust your feelings because she know you care about her. Encouragement without criticism will be just fine. Instead of telling her things like "you'll do better next time", tell her things that will lift her spirits and give her that energy to feed off of. If anything goes wrong tell her "you did good, and you'll get better". Tell her "I trust in you, and I'm serious about that. Trust me, you're doing great". Don't lie to her, just give her that extra boost of confidence she's been needing from you. You're already doing good by finding a way to help her out. Good luck!