My boyfriend wants me to be more of a bad girl and less lovey dovey?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, weve had such a great time together and I love him so much!
Anyway, the last month I've been feeling he hasn't made much effort to see me and has stopped being talkative with me. So last night we were texting.. I asked him 'is there anything you want me to change?' And he replied back saying. "Maybe cut back the lovey dovey as its been quite constant recently and its scary!" He then said " could you be meaner aswel or more of a bad girl?" I asked him "how long you felt this?" then he said "about a month."

I dont want to lose him and want to make this relationship work!

How do i become a 'bad girl' and make him happy?

[Michael-in-SC]

It's not clear to me (perhaps not to you either) if he means your overall personality or just in the bedroom. There is a thing called the Madona-whore complex (en.wikipedia.org/.../Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex) Either way, you need to find out if his request is about your overall personality, which you aren't likely to change, or if it's just in a sexual way, which could be up for discussion. If that's all he's said about the matter, he needs to explain it better to know for sure.

[MadeInAmerica]

Your guy sounds like an idiot. You can't change the core of what you are. Why would someone want their gf to be meaner. He isn't worth keeping if he wants to change who you are. There is a find line to "making this relationship work" and "bowing down" seems like the latter to me.

[Asker]

I think its unfair for him to say that as he has always been 'lovey dovey' throughout this relationship so I have no idea what he means. I'm meant to be seeing him tonight for new years eve, but we are going to meet up earlier so we can talk about it. Im going to tell him what a complete dick he is for wanting to change me.

[Anonymous]

"Is there anything you want me to change?" - See, that's where you fucked up.
You will never EVER be respected by him now, or even truly desired/loved by him because you're bowing down like some desperate little slave girl who's willing to be fake or a "bad girl", which in your case is not genuine. ... Just to gain his "love".
It's pathetic.
Just get a new man.
Find a man who likes you for you, in all your lovey dovey glory.

[dazedandconfused22]

Okay stop being a freaking pushover and trying please him. If he wants a bad girl tell him he can go get one.

That said men love a freak in the bed and a lady on the street or whatever. But he's asking you to change who you are? really? And you are so willing to do it? Sounds to be like you need to grow a back bone and stop being so clingy and dependent on what he thinks of you.

Truust me.

[crazyincalifornia]

I'm not sure what he means.
Maybe he's not sure.
I will tell you this.
Guys love bedroom sluts.
Guys like no holds barred, oral, anal, and everything that goes with it.
I really don'r know if that's what he means, but I'm suspicious.
Like for us girls, sometimes you have to read guys between the lines.
Just saying.
:))

[Annmasaurus]

Ignore him lolzz be rude to him give him attitude basically be a complete bitch then he will soon want you back to your lovey dovey self and stop being ungrateful for what he has

[Asker]

Yeahh guess that could work aha

[love-boy]

You can't change who you are. That is who is originally started dating. It is unfair of him to ask you to change. You be you and get rid of him if he tells you otherwise.

[bDizzie]

He wants you to be a bitch? Wtf? Don't take his advice to mean that's what we all want. Sounds like he's taking your loving and sweetness for granted.

[Anonymous]

Don't change to make other people happy, if you won't be happy.

[Findesemana]

he's a fool..