She has a boyfriend. What would you do in this situation?

[Anonymous]

This girl I work with, extremely cute and sexy. In 2 years, this is the first big crush I have had since my break up with my ex. This girl is fun, energetic, its like a breath of fresh air.

Here's the problem, she has a boyfriend. She told me within the first week of meeting me that if she didn't have a boyfriend, she would def go on some dates with me and probably date me.

Well its been about 3-4 months since I started the job and she is still with him, yet she hits on me all the time and has told me she wants to hook up...i know girls like to play games, usually for attention, but I don't give it to her whenever she asks for it or needs it...its not my kind of game...but you would assume she would stop after a while of getting the point that I'm not just gonna give her attneiton to give her attention...

Anyways, she seems held back, by that I mean she talks bout her boyfriend and that she loves him, but that she doesn't get to do things with him that she wishes she does...like go out and dance, he just won't dance with her, she hasn't been out on a date with him in ages...she went camping last weekend but that's not a date, esp when its with like 40 people.

Shes a great girl and she deserves to be treated well...i want to take her out and do those kind of things for her, show her its OK to go out with your boyfriend and have a good time but also be able to go out with friends and not worry about the other...to just be chill and relax a little...i guess this is where I get confused and am not sure what to do...

I know there are people out there that will say, stay away from her, she has a bf...i understand that

but at the same time, aren't those who are taken worth fighting for? its not like she's married and has kids so I'm not home wrecking, its just boyfriend/girlfriend and sure I'd be pissed if I was in a relationship and a guy did that - but it all comes down to hating the game and not the player...i just don't know if I should waste my time?

she shows she's interested in me in many ways, I'm just not sure if its sexual or if she's looking for me to treat her properly?

I'm not a bad guy, I'm really just looking to take care of a girl who deserves to be treated properly and for a girl to show me some TLC...I'm not asking to be wined and dined weekly or whatever, I just wish there was someone who would want to take the time to make me happy...i guess I'm just confused at what I'm doing wrong -

girls what are your opinions on what I can do to make myself more available? is this girl worth fighting for? by that I mean should I take my time and show her I care about her, maybe ask her out and see where it goes - not like boyfriend/girlfriend out but like a weekend night out to let her have some fun, do you think there is a chance she would break up with her boyfriend for me or at least to see where we could go with what she has said to me and her attraction towards me, or is this strictly a thing where she wants to hook up and nothing more?...or am I just wasting my time here.

You're wasting your time

Shes into you, but not sure what to do because she has a BF

Take her out, show her a good time and let her decide what she wants to do

Quit the job, by the sounds of it, if you do hook up, you'll become attached to her in a way and if she isn't going to break up with her boyfriend, then its a waste of your heart

[Brando]

I only had to read the title "She has a boyfriend. What would you do in this situation?", but I read the rest of it.

What would I do? I'd leave it alone and quit tempting myself. She's taken, it's her issue if she isn't happy in her relationship, and it's not up to me to "save" her from not being happy. I wouldn't feel good about coming in and messing their relationship up (no matter how unhappy or how much of a waste it is). And when you say "...hate the game, not the player"...I'd hate you for thinking like that and coming in to take my girlfriend because you are trying justify it to yourself. Having some decency, honor (none of that stupid Bro code stuff), and chivalry to do the responsible thing on your part is what I'd do in your situation. You don't want to get wrapped up in a bunch of drama. You have the advantage of being in the right, at the moment- You aren't involved and you don't have issues with anyone yet. If you stay out of it then you stay in the right and don't have any complications.

If she wants to leave her boyfriend for you, then let her. But otherwise I wouldn't push her to do anything. Let her make that choice and sort her own stuff out first.

[Asker]

yorue right, I would never push her to do anything tho...i haven't forced her to do anything she hasn't wanted to...but you did answer my question with "I wouldn't push her to do anything. Let her make that choice and sort her own stuff out first."

and I appreciate it

[Brando]

No problem. It's a lot of potential drama that you can avoid as long as you can see it coming and keep yourself withdrawn.

[Asker]

this is true. no one wants drama! lol

[l-hedoniste]

"aren't those who are taken worth fighting for?" Yes. Ignore the babblers; if there's no ring, fair game.

Put her on the shelf, date other women. She's almost certainly an attention-seeker, and if she is, a serious rival will focus her mind.

[Asker]

hmm interesting...appreciate the back up on what I had said also!

so I guess just bring in some competition...!? what if I brought in some good looking girl friends who would be all over me and very flirty...even if they are just friends ( imean afterall she wouldn't know) - would that work!? lol thanks again

[l-hedoniste]

If you bring them in, she'll think you're doing it for her benefit, and she'd be right. Seriously date a girl, be a little less available, begin to move on. If she bites, fine. If not, you have other options.

Moral: You should always have other options, at all time.

[kgrrl2323]

she's just trying to get your attention still. in any way possible. if she really didn't like what her boyfriend was doing, she should be telling him not you or the problem isn't solved for her. and if she didn't want to be with her boyfriend or she wanted to be with you, she would break up with him and date you. she just wants to have her cake and eat it so get over this hussy because that's all she is.

[Asker]

thats true, I enver thought about that...if she said I was "the compelte package" you'd think she would have dumped him and given it a shot with me already...maybe I need to be MORE of a chase than I already am and bring in some girls who can flirt really easily with me and see how she racts

[kgrrl2323]

yeah or you could just date someone else because she's not worth the chase.

[Asker]

what if she is worth the chase :-0 lol

thanks :)

[kgrrl2323]

she isn't because she's with a guy and trying to sleep with you on the DL, not good girlfriend material to me. so when and if she breaks up with her boyfriend and starts a relationship with you and she's bored of you because you don't take her out anymore or whatever else fake reasons she comes up with to tell the next guy that she works with to have sex with him and he goes for it, don't say I didn't warn you.

[Asker]

lol I know exactly what your saying...but life is a gamble right? I'm not saying I'm going to date her, I'm not saying if we did date she wouldn't cheat on me...lol I've actaully already been through this, had a girl cheat with me on her boyfriend and never once cheated on me to my knowledge, afterall we lived together for 2 years...but yeah anyways I get what your saying and I know the risks, just because a girl is dating someone doesn't mean she isn't worth the chase but I do understand why you don't think she is

[kgrrl2323]

kay thanks for understanding and good luck to you!

[Asker]

:) thanks...i guess we'll find out! lol but right now I think I've decided to stick to just being me and if something happens it happens, I certainly won't make any girl cheat on her boyfriend, she'd ahve to come onto me!

[kgrrl2323]

she already is coming on to you. if you want someones leftovers go for it. lol

[Asker]

lololololololololololol

[Quadrophonic84]

You have no way of knowing she's serious. The second you make it clear you want her to leave her boyfriend for you because you want her, she can start pulling back. She's got a safety net and you don't. Your instincts are right. Don't play her game, at least not yet. Let her get desperate with this guy first. Otherwise this backfires and pushes her closer to him.

[Asker]

well I wouldn't jump out and say "leave your boyfriend for me, I like you" it would more so be along the lines of "hey lets go out this weekend" and show her that she can have more fun with me than him - if she even can!? lol, I feel like showing her that she can have an amazing time out and be herself...id rather her make the decision rather than me saying hey I like you, ya know?

appreciate the input tho, thanks! :)

[Relax17]

I agree

[Quadrophonic84]

You're right she's got to make the decision, but you can't just make it obvious that you'll do what she wants. Women need that BS chase thing too since life's a f*cking soap opera for them. Smile and be cool about everything. Talk about going out with other girls. Be dismissive when she talks about Mr. Wonderful ("Him again? Look do I bother you with MY problems?")

[Asker]

lmao...thank bro, appreciate it

[Mercury1]

FLEE from her! Quit your job even because of her, and never ever try to contact her again. Block her from all of your social media, including Facebook. I don't care if her and her boyfriend both want to take you to Disney World next week. Bump into her at a city event and she wants to hang out with you? Tell her; "You have a boyfriend. Hang out with *him*. I will find someone else to hang out with."

[Hades]

do unto others as you would have them do unto you.