Stuck in a rut.

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 years old and since my 20th birthday I've been feeling really down about still being a virgin. It was never meant to become this much of an issue, I always wanted to find someone to sleep with me but not have a serious relationship with to get it out of the way so I could then enjoy sex but it just never happened.

Now I feel really sad about still having my virginity, I feel repulsive, unattractive, like a horrible person and as if I've been "left on the shelf", and I often find myself crying about it most days. There have been people I've wanted to sleep with in the past but they unfortunately haven't felt the same and these rejections have left me really hurt.

I know plenty of single guys, I'm at college and go out a lot, have a good time and meet people. I'm not overweight or horrible to look at but yet still no one seems to take any interest in talking to me or showing any attraction to me. I feel it's holding me back a lot and am down all the time, especially being in an environment where everyone seems to be having sex all the time.

What am I supposed to do?

[cgiddings]

Sex doesn't need to be tied to your self worth. Try hanging out with a bunch of people, going to parties or joining some clubs.

In time, the most important thing is that you not waste your virginity. I don't think any of us recalls our first time being the pinacle of sexual events... but most of us remember the experiences and feelings fondly. You shouldn't waste that on a throw-away.

That being said, there's nothing wrong with having not found someone to 'lose it to' yet. Chin up and realize your confidence could be an inhibiting factor to your ability to find someone.

You're an attractive young woman with brains enough to realize what she wants. You have an upper hand. Feel free to use it to find someone worthwhile.

[Asker]

Thank you, you're answer really has helped me a lot. :)

Thank you again.

[wanacot]

Change your attitude as it's likely reflecting on your personality. Guys might not even realize it, but subconsciously it will keep them away. Try to stay positive and not worry so much about it. The more you forget about it and let things happen on their own the sooner you will get what you want. There is absolutely nothing wrong with still being a virgin at 20. This doesn't make you any less of a person.