Stuck in a rut and dont know what to do?

[Anonymous]

The day before my wedding day i found out he had cheated while we were engaged, i was very torn i loved him. I felt like i needed time to process but I married him, everything was already arranged and the guests were there. 3 years later and i don't feel happy, we argue a lot, i have lost some feelings i think over time, & have been avoiding sex and don't enjoy it. I feel really guilty. But i also care about him and don't want to mess up our lives, i dont think i can fully trust him again. What’s wrong with me, I've tried to make it work for so long and I'm still having these thoughts. Lately I have felt myself feeling attracted to other guys, i would never cheat but Its worrying me and I really feel stuck on what I should do for long term. I am 31 and I feel like im too old to start over and I dont want to ruin our lives. But I probably shouldn't be wanting other guys in my head? Or maybe I need to suck it up and try to be happy? its been 3 years though, shouldn't i be happy by now?

[Guy13]

What makes you think Marriage is about Happiness. Marriage is about leaving and cleaving to one another as Family, reproducing, spreading, and taking dominion over your little part in the world. It seems like you may have been better off pushing things back a bit upon first discovery... You are STUCK now so give him sex and adhere to your vows before you give him reasons to take off...

It is likely that things will not be better until you admit to your spying, prying, and distrust as well as discuss the findings. This may explain lots of WTFs going on in your husband's mind. Your PRIDE is why you are struggling as you are trapped by your own deeds which means NO PEACE for you. Confess to him and work through it. Get to a pastor or counselor so that there is Objectivity amongst all the emotional crap that will be flying around.

You two can not manage this own your own...

[Changiis07]

You shouldn't have married him period. He cheated! Even though you care, you are not happy and it is never too late to start over again and you are never too old to find love again and be happy. If you have kids it will be even worse. Best advice I can give is pray about it and let God lead you. You shouldn't force yourself to be happy, it should come naturally and you should enjoy everything with the love of your life not someone who took you for granted.

[Anonymous]

Go cheat back

Go to therapy.

Or leave.