How to make peace with your body? (addicted to clean eating and working out)?

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I'm a 21 year old girl. For the past 2 years I've started working out (Blogilates if any girls know this?) every day and trying to eat clean. I just realized that I makes me feel better about my body, a lot better, but only when I'm in control. And this scares me. Today I'm to exhausted to workout and I can't enjoy the rest of the day because I haven't worked out. I know the first help could be visiting a psychologist - I know it's because of something deeper. But I just wanted to hear if someone has tried this and have found a balance or maybe a thought thad helped you.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for taking your time to come with such a long reply. I really think you're right and I think I want to workout less, maybe 4-5 times a week, and enjoy it and give it my all instead. Now I can be so tired that I don't enjoy it all all and just want it to be over. I think my real problem is that I have always been the one who wasn't good at any sports and then I found that I'm good at Pilates and that I can push myself during cardio. I always admired the ones who was good at sports.

Updates

+1 y

I also realized I wouldn't be able to do this routine for the next twenty years. I will get on a very time-Consuming education soon. I have to edit my routine now with baby steps.

Again THANK YOU! I'm glad to hear that you found a balance. That's super inspiring

[FOOLibra]

I can totally relate to this. Obsessing over counting your calories/ALWAYS eating clean and working out can do more harm than good when that's all you think about it. When it comes to the point that you only feel good about yourself when you follow your strict rules you've set up yourself, then that's not okay.
One day I realised that my life revolves around food/working out, so I tried my best to find a balance. In the beginning it was very hard because I didn't want to let go of the image that I've earned aka being known as the one who eats consciously, the one who is never too tired to skip a workout and the one you rarely see eating sweets.
I think the reasons why I did this was because I didn't want to deal with my ACTUAL problems and instead just focus on this clean eating bullshit. One can also say that it was my safety blanket. Maybe that is also the case with you? Are there other things in your life that you are supposed to deal with?

This is a quote that has helped me A LOT:

When starting a fitness or health “routine” I think everyone should ask themselves, “Could I do this for the next twenty years and be healthy and happy?” Could you meticulously count calories for the next twenty years? Could you severely under-eat for the next twenty years? Could you work out seven days a week for three hours a day for the next twenty years? If your lifestyle isn’t healthy and sustainable then why are you doing it? Obviously, this mindset doesn’t apply if you’re trying to reach a specific goal, like a bodybuilding competition, restoring your weight from an eating disorder, or losing a considerable amount of weight for medical reasons. But if those things don’t apply to you, why would you want to yo-yo between an unsustainable routine, feeling guilty, trying to “bounce back” all the time, etc? Healthy and sustainable is the only way to go.

Don't get me wrong, I only support eating balanced and working out but there's a fine line. There's a difference between lying in your bed and not being able to fall asleep because you feel guilty for not doing the workout you planned and lying in your bed and thinking "It's okay. I needed to rest".

I wish you all the best ❤️