Do you think that unnecessarily sending your son/daughter to a psychiatric hospital is an abusive act?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[NexAngelus]

i think its abusive to be abusive to abusive people... can i be abusive to abusive people without being abusive to them then? or would that make me abusive? because i dont want to be abusive person. lol i love all these abusive threads, the whole unnecessary part makes it wrong u dont need anything else.

[Vitdom]

It depends on the purpose. If it is unnecessary as in pointless, Yes, that's like indefinite imprisonment without a trial. If it is unnecessary as in an act of reprisal, Yes. If it is unnecessary as in a solely concerned act without purpose, not really.

[TakeMaker]

I think you're old enough now to leave this in the past. Don't let it shape your future, you're an adult now. One of the benefits of being an adult is you are able to leave your parents mistakes behind and make your own life away from them.

[Asker]

Actually because I didn't seek treatment when I became suicidal afterwards all the untreated stress caused major depressive disorder which is now something that I have to live with for the rest of my life thanks to them.

[samhradh_leannan]

Then at this point you need to seek help.

[Asker]

@samhradh_leannan I think it's a bit late for that; the damage is already done.

[samhradh_leannan]

If that's your attitude, then I guess you're right.

[WhaChaChaKing]

Yes I do.

[LaVilaine]

Define unnecessarily. People who need in-patient care often believe that they don't need help. Was it deemed medically necessary? If yes, then it is not abuse.

[Asker]

If it wasn't needed.
just because people who need inpatient care don't think that they do doesn't mean that people aren't committed unnecessarily.

[LaVilaine]

I am going to defer to the medical professionals here. If your parents could no longer do anything for you to help you and they put you in an in-patient program because they were at their absolute wits' end, then I think they did the right thing. Would it have been better if they had cared about you so little to let you go and kill yourself like you wanted instead of trying to get you into a better frame of mind?

[Asker]

Well I read my papers and it's clear that they overly exaggerated and lied by omission on the admissions interview that got me in to that place. But as for, would it have been better if they let me kill myself? Well I wasn't considering suicide then but I attempted suicide via drug overdose (but after I became unconscious I threw up) because when things got rough I was afraid to seek treatment for my suicidal thoughts.

[LaVilaine]

So you claim you weren't suicidal but you were actually suicidal. That makes no sense.

The symptoms they described may have seemed exaggerated to you but in all likelihood they weren't. You want to think that your parents are evil because they wanted you to live so you're going to convince yourself that they're lying bastards who made it all up. Because of how depressed you likely were at the time, your perception of your behaviour will be completely altered.

[Asker]

Problem with your argument: the suicide attempt was 8 years AFTERWARD.

However the therapist that they made me see shortly afterward did confirm that all the hospitalization did was make my depression worse and on top of that it left me with PTSD. All they did was kick me when I was down and depressed doesn't mean delusional.

[LaVilaine]

It does though. Your brain is so numb to everything that's going on that you don't have any perception of what is actually happening.

Whatever dude. Hate your parents. It's not going to make you better. It's not going to change the past.

[Asker]

I do remember what happened and I do know that some things they said during the interview just weren't true, while my inpatient stay the professionals found no evidence of suicide risk and I have the therapists verdict that all it did was make things worse. But as for hating my parents, what are you saying that I should love my parents for hurting me like that?

[somebodysaycheese]

unnecessary yes, but a lot of people should be getting help that aren't.

[Asker]

If they don't want help they shouldn't be getting it.

[somebodysaycheese]

no, they should get help.

[Asker]

No they shouldn't any more than a person who has lockjaw should get help if they don't want to.

[FallOutBoy2001]

Jesus Christ, let it rest. You're a big boy now, grow up

[Asker]

Here's the problem: because I was afraid to get treatment when I was suicidal after what happened, all of that untreated stress resulted in major depressive disorder which I will have the rest of my life thanks to my parents. So I can't let it go no matter how much I want too.

[FallOutBoy2001]

You know that most suicidal people are afraid to get help? You're not some special snowflake for being afraid to get help.

[FallOutBoy2001]

And you can, actually

[Asker]

Actually many do get help and I did which was when I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder.

[FallOutBoy2001]

Actually most don't because they're scared, and you said you yourself were afraid to seek help when you were suicidal

[Asker]

Well I wasn't afraid to talk to my parents about my depression before the sent me to the hospital. The people at the hospital said that I was at no risk of suicide after the stay but the therapist I saw afterwards said that it only made my depression worse and on top of that it left me with PTSD. I came to my parents when I was hurting and all they did was kick me when I was down. That's why when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and asked me to visit her I told her to fuck off and rot and I remembered how much she cried. She wants to kick me when I'm down, well two can play at that game.

[FallOutBoy2001]

That was fucking low. Your mom is dying from cancer and you tell her "no, go fuck yourself" after she tried to fucking help you get better? Really? Nice one, asshole.

[FallOutBoy2001]

Think about it from their perspective. Your kids come to you saying they're depressed, and you're going to be upset. Most people when they hear depressed think that means "I want to kill myself" and understandably freak out. They put you in the hospital for your own good

[Asker]

What do you mean all she was trying to do was make you better? The therapist said it only made my depression worse and gave me PTSD.

[Asker]

What do you mean for my own good? It only made everything worse!!
You don't give someone the most potent antibiotic for a minor infection because the most potent treatment is also the one that usually has the worst side effects.

[FallOutBoy2001]

Did your mother know it was going to make it worse? No

Did she most likely think that this was going to help you? Almost certaintly

And just wondering, how does your PTSD manifest itself? Curious, as I can't think of too many situations where it would be sparked

[Asker]

Can we know what she wanted to come of it? No!

Do we know what did come of it? Yes.

Do we know that I told her that if she did it I would never forgive her? Yes (there's no reason for her to weep, she knew this day would come)

Do we know that her and my dad exaggerated and lied by omission during the admissions interview? Yes.

PTSD usually manifests itself as panic attacks (& I hope they're proud of themselves).

[FallOutBoy2001]

Sorry about the panic attacks bub, I get them too and they suck. I have a phobia though, not PTSD.

We can know what she or your father wanted to come of it, we ASK. Like a mature adult, we ask.

We know what came of it, but not the intent, and the intent is the most important part.

Ok, story time. I had a suicidal friend. She told me she was suicidal, and said "I'll never forgive you if you tell anyone." I didn't tell anyone, for fear of losing her as a friend, and I got a text from her brother one day telling me she had tried to off herself. Thank god she failed, but what if she had succeeded? Should I have told someone and possibly prevented her suicide attempt? Absolutly. Did you ever think of that? That she thought you never forgiving her would be better than her losing her son?

You've said they lied by omnission and exaggerated, but like a lot of people on here have said, you probably don't realize how bad you really were at the time.

[Asker]

Good intentions without good actions are meaningless. The end result is what's important. Now my turn for story time: I also attempted suicide 8 years later after I couldn't get into graduate school and lost my job BECAUSE I was afraid to seek help (When I started feeling suicidal is when I stopped seeing my psychiatrist). I only survived because I threw up the OD. Did you ever think of that? That sending people to the hospital when it's not necessary will only deter them from seeking help in the future. Also, while I was at the hospital they couldn't find any evidence of a suicide risk so it' pretty apparent that they exaggerated everything.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

It really depends on the situation, and how you define unnecessary.

[Asker]

If they're not a danger to themselves or others

[LittleMissCuriousity]

But if they're behavior is causing stress to their parents, it might still be necessary.

[Asker]

If it's causing stress to their parents then their parents are the ones who should be hospitalized.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Hardly. For instance, I live with my mom, who has PTSD. When her condition gets bad, it causes me stress. That doesn't mean that I need to be hospitalized. It just means that she needs more care than I can give her.

[Asker]

Why does she have PTSD?

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Because someone spent a couple of years trying to hunt her down and kill her.

[Asker]

OK, but that wouldn't warrant inpatient treatment only outpatient.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

When it gets bad, she does go inpatient. She's been in and out of facilities several times in the last few months.

[Asker]

Does she go willingly?

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Yes, because she's an adult and she knows when she needs help.

[Asker]

Well I have no problem with people going willingly.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

But a child or teenager might not realize they need help. That doesn't mean they don't need it, just that they don't know.

[Asker]

A child perhaps but a teenager no.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Teenagers are still developing, particularly neurologically. That's why they can't legally vote, or marry. That's why they're still in parental custody. Some teenagers might be able to make choices for themselves, but most wouldn't be able to.

[Asker]

Actually neurological development ends at age 25 but we still allow 21 years olds things like the right to refuse treatment. In fact in many areas parents can't make 14+ year olds go to hospitals if they don't want to.

[Emmdk]

Yes, but define "unnecessarily". Thats really a question about ethics, i think

[Asker]

My parents sent me to one for depression but it only made it worse (and because they had the police take me there in handcuffs the therapist I saw later said it left me with PTSD) and I disowned them for it.

[Emmdk]

Im very sorry for you. But if you had a depression, then it wasn't exactly "unnecessary" sending you there

[Asker]

Yes it was just like giving the most potent antibiotic for a minor infection is unnecessary.

[Emmdk]

I see where you're coming from and I feel so sorry that you suffer the way you do from that experience. But again, i think that some people might assess the situation in a different way than you do. Unnecessary is not the right word to use, I reckon

[Asker]

What would be a better one (the term I prefer is maliciously)

[Anonymous]

I don't think its abusive but uninformed and uneducated. I would be pissed off if that was me and would move out. Would definitely not rely on them to help with my problems.

[Jayson101]

It's called gas lighting. My father tried to do it to me.

It's when you try to feel better about yourself by convincing your victim they are insane.

[Anonymous]

The hospital wouldn't take him or her if it wasn't needed

[Asker]

If they lied about the symptoms it could.

[ounilith]

The child will ask themselves if there's something wrong with them

[SatyricLord]

Yes, it is.

[Anonymous]

yeah obviously