How do you repair broken self-esteem?

Question

In this specific scenario, therapy or counselling is not an option. In what ways do you help yourself when your self esteem is suffering? What are some good self care methods to improve how you view yourself?

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

Well, one thing that helped me when I was going through my self-examanation of my life. When I was 37 all of a sudden the realization of how my family's drug abuse affected me came to light. I had to really dig into what happened to me.
I started going to a 12 step program for the children of alcoholic's but in my case it was drugs. I went to that program one night a week for 2-1/2 years, even when it was snowing outside. I had to heal me on the inside because of what they did to me and what they didn't do that they should have done - normal things.
So, I went to my meetings, and I went and got a lot of books to read. Between those two things, the self- esteem was healed.
Reading a lot about self esteem, self help books, positive affirmations you can read and listen to. I listened on my way to work in the mornings.
Soon my son noticed that I had changed what he thought was my sense of humor, butit was my character. The people at work thought I was going to see a psychiatrist or something. So, I would leave my positive affirmation books on my desk while I went to lunch and they started reading them - then THEY started changing too 🙂
Remember, it's your self-esteem otherwise they would call it other people's esteem. 🌹

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

If you can't get professional help it could be very hard to achieve.

The therapy differs based on the reason for lower or "broken" self-esteem.

It's different if the reason is trauma with/without PTSD. It's different if the reason is in the childhood. It's different if the reson is in autism. Or any other disorder...

So I would start with kind of introspection. What exactly my problem is? When did it start? Is it worse with time? Where exactly lies the problem? My body? Face? How do I move? How do I speak? My skills?

Having some answers there is space to look for existing solutions. Like doing pics in clothes or makeup you like. Finding specific sets of clothes you feel comfortable to wear outside. Writing good things about yourself. Finding what is beautiful in your face. Noticing in what you are good and making those skills even better.

For me helpful was sharing my knowledge. Every time I could answer a complicated question it boosted my self-esteem...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

One day at a time! Take stock of the people who GENUINELY love and care about you. Who will be real with you (not just tell you what you want to hear) it's not a coincidence those people love you. There is something worthwhile about you that keeps them in your corner. Talk to them ask them why. Ask them what your short comings are etc. And ONLY ask these people. Don't ask random people these people don't even know you.

Once you have this you now know and understand what gives you value. You understand better who you are at your core. You now know what you need to work on to become a more rounded person. Learn to forgive people, learn to cut negativity out of your life, learn to not put unrealistic expectations on people. This was a big thing for me. My life got infinitely easier when I stopped doing this one. I only expect basic respect from people now. And it has made the weight I carry around so light. Because you either respect me or you don't and if you don't I just remove you from my life. I may have a thousand acquaintances but I can count my friends on 1 hand I think that is the best way to be. You can't be positive surrounded by negativity always remember that.

patrick994 · Accepted Answer

First of all, it is necessary to specify what the cause of the shattered self-esteem is, if this malaise is caused by toxic or judgmental people, the best thing would be to get away from these people and surround ourselves with people who really love us, who appreciate us.

If the malaise is caused by an unfavourable aesthetic condition, one must set to work in order to improve, diet, exercise, change of look, etc., it may sound strange to you, but a significant improvement in image brings significant benefits in terms of perception and an improvement in self-esteem ensues

Having goals and achieving them can also give meaning and stimulus to our days, their achievement can raise our self-esteem.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I'm probably not a great advice giver for this as I've never suffered from low self esteem, but I will parrot what you've heard which is the whole trite you have to love yourself bullshit. I think being honest with yourself and taking the time for introspection is the best thing you can do to be happy. Know your faults and flaws and work on fixing those while also acknowledging your strengths and talents.

Ask yourself WHY you don't like yourself. Then work on fixing whatever it is. Just don't let perfection get in the way of progress.

An example would be that I want to be nicer. It may not always work, but I do feel like I'm more nice than last year so... progress. And progress feels good.

But if you seek validation from others you'll never trust it even if everyone tells you the same thing.

NathanDavis · Answer

years and years of work... introspection, reaching to friends... caring for your dog, changing diets (or starting a balanced one), exercising...

and, a lot of good luck... having those that will reach to you because they know very well you won't do it yourself

AmeriRiver096 · Answer

Improving self-esteem is a journey that takes time and adapting to different lifestyles. Many people miss the support around them – friends, teachers, coworkers. Remember, you’re your biggest advocate. Ask yourself what feels right, listen to your gut, and take positive actions in the moment.

Sonorous · Answer

Honestly still in the process. But competency & compassion for myself are the best ways for me. If I can make it to where I'm objectively good at something, anything that I value, it tends to be harder for me to think extremely less of myself. Especially if I see that I'm better at it than others. The goal is isn't to have a selfish or toxic kind of superiority feeling, but to just acknowledge my strengths along with my already acknowledged weaknesses when inevitably compared to others.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

Start a journal and write down every day, every good thing you have accomplished. Also, put in that journal all the things that make you happy (that includes pictures).

So, when you have a low point, you now will go and read that journal to remind yourself of who you are, all the good that you did, and the places that you felt joy, and what you can still do. This will help you out of that low point, and give you the fuel to carry on.

It is simple, and a way to really help you to cope. Writing a journal the one way to make yourself feel good when you need a reminder of all the good things that you have done.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Talking always helps & as for you if you want to get on the road to recovering your self esteem you’re going to have to start opening up to people who are willing to listen.

In life some people have a lot on their plate & some people have a buffet. As for life it isn’t easy but then again it isn’t hard. On the road of life we all hit bumps. On the road of life sometimes we run into yellow lights, sometimes we run into red lights & other times the lights are green all the way.

As for me unfortunately I am unable to read minds & if I could I would but what I can do is listen so feel free to reach out if needed.

When was your self esteem broken & what caused it or what do you think caused it?

Never give up, never give in & keep moving forward no matter what.

exitseven · Answer

Okay- so figure out what happened to mess with your self esteem in the first place. Find a few tasks that you want to do and do a good job with them. Show yourself how awesome you are. Get a fitness routine, read a good book work on yourself.

And let yourself off the hook.

RHK36 · Answer

Find out the reason for the break and go from there. In the end self improvement is usually the cure to increase your confidence and thus increasing your self esteem. If you have time to worry about your issues then you have time to better yourself. No one can fix you, but you.

Miah04 · Answer

I think stepping back. And thinking about and recognizing your positives. No matter how small they are.

Reminding yourself that you are human and not perfect.

Reminding yourself everyday will provide struggles, but know you can overcome them.

It's not easy and it takes time to see yourself as worthy but it can happen

Tiptoetamm · Answer

It's something you have to do within. I've had to go within and work though some of my skeletons and worked though some shit. Started believing and saying thank you when people would compliment my looks. We are always going to be our worst critic but just know. The most beautiful part of a person is what lies within a person. Your personality can make you 10 times more attractive to someone if you know what I mean. Do some soul searching. I promise it will help.

antelope51 · Answer

Stop caring about what other people think. Really, the trick to this is to stop judging OTHER people. When you are constantly judging other people, you think they're doing the same. When you stop judging other people, you slowly start to lose that paranoia that feeds your insecurity.

slatyb · Answer

Supportive friends can help. I'm still getting over this but I found a group of loving friends who are constantly telling me how much they care and it makes a difference.

TallAnon · Answer

In theory, but it's hard in practice, you think back to all the moments that broke your self-esteem, but with a peaceful mindset either rationalize it or accept that it happened and that it's in the past.

LaterZ · Answer

Not sure if it applies to all, but i feel self esteem is correlsted with confidence. And when it comes to confidence just fake it. Might be hard at the start but every time you fake it, you will feel more confident, and next thing you know, you will actually be confident naturally. Also the older you get, you realise most people are busy thinking about themselves and not other people.

jaycool26 · Answer

in my opinion clear your mind of negative thoughts or environments and go somewhere that makes you feel safe and happy for a couple of days and do self positive affirmations. Push yourself a little to be the better version. Do it for the people you love and look after yourself and the people who look uo to u.

CharlotteNoivern · Answer

Over time mine was shot after a boy who knocked me told me I was ugly and only a horse would shag my pregnant pussy

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

When our self-esteem is low. We need to think of one person who makes us happy. Look into the mirror and tell yourself that you can make things better, but only you can do it.

Kelly6 · Answer

@petitedollbabee  i get this issue a lot, so what i do is that i only focus on things that i love to do. oil painting is one of it, and sex is second

Sharkstealth · Answer

Excercise and healthy diet makes a person happy. Excercise also generally helps you gain new friends that are healthy.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

Write down everything (worth and not worth) Never sit idle  Stop wasting time on social media  Stop comparing

Anonymous · Answer

Never had much of this but getting rid of those who make u feel like this is a good start.

Pete671 · Answer

Eat well, sleep well, exercise well,,, mood depends on overall wellbeing imho,,

Enginn · Answer

You start by accepting its not broken. You are in a bad mood or you didn't do what you really need to do yet.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Do something else I’m successful at. Exercise is also great therapy and free

Anonymous · Answer

I wish I had an answer for you... as I'm in the same situation... and it sucks

On_cloud_wine · Answer

A stronger relationship with God

andreasderjuengere · Answer

With duct tape.

butterly248 · Answer

When I find the answer out, I'll let you know, lol

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

I'll let you know when I figure it

How do you repair broken self-esteem?

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When our self-esteem is low. We need to think of one person who makes us happy. Look into the mirror and tell yourself that you can make things better, but only you can do it.