If you feel zero joy in anything is that depression or something else?

[Crimsyjo]

I can't see how medication can help that feeling either. I feel like giving up on life. But not like suicide. But it feels like I'm a zombie dead anyways. Just going through the motions. Nothing brings me joy anymore because the one thing I want I can't seem to get/find. Which is love.

[Purpleronnie]

Thanks for posting this 🙂Having suffered depression and witnessed it in others very close to me I’d offer that what your feeling shouldn’t be ignored or pushed past.
Depression gets banded about a lot these days , some people claim they are depresssed without even truly understanding what it is. Low mood is often interpreted as depression and may even be a stop on the way down the line.


From my experience depression is completely debilitating , casting a shadow over every aspect of life , removing any enthusiasm or motivation and replacing it with apathy , pointlessness and ultimately despair.


If the below ‘ black dog’ video talks to you , or makes you cry like it did me , then you need to make some time to speak with a health professional.

https://youtu.be/XiCrniLQGYc?si=q0wh7moef4mlgSu4

If I can share anything else that you think might help please message me.

[D_Bone_Steak]

It's usually not depression... it's just staying in school for a thing, doing a job for a thing, sacrificing constantly for a thing to the point of wearing you out and you don't even enjoy the thing. Basically there is a lack of joy because you're just doing things that bring you no joy.

You mentioned not being able to find love... my first question would be what have you changed in the last 20 years to start finding it? Because my first guess is you've been told "this is the path" like the Boomers did to the younger generations about college and wealth, and then it's simply not working for you. Or you got "meh" results and are just sticking with it... because this is how it's supposed to be done.

I might not be right, but that would be my line of thinking upon approach. If the shoe fits then accept it, if not... toss it to the side. Not my problem.

[Crimsyjo]

I have tried lots of things. Staying in and working on myself going out to places supposed to be good for meeting people, hobbies, new friends. I've tried fwbs to fill the gap and take "pressure" off looking. Nothing works.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You're looking for a family-building sort of situation? At your age, I'm sorry to say you've passed that point. Someone looking to make kids isn't even going to consider you.

Now if you're just looking for a long-term relationship, I can see how you could still have value. I mean look for a lonely 60 something year old, be a positive to his life rather than a daily headache. I'm sure he'd enjoy taking care of you and giving you his leftovers when he passes on. Or...

I could give you the advice I usually only give dudes. Be glad to be alone. You get to do whatever you want with your time and money all day, every day. The trick is learning how to enjoy life without having to have someone else in it. You figure that out... you're living like a king... or in your case a queen.

Your situation is sort of un-fixable for a perfect scenario so... I say just learn to live with it.

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

What you have is not depression- it's companionship you are seeking and just feeling down about not finding it.

Have you joined a dating site? Do you go out to events on weekends to meet people? Or do you just stay home?

Lot's of people want to find love, but they are too unmotivated to leave the house. Mr Right isn't just randomly going to show up on your doorstep.

[MemeSupreme]

some of those are symptoms. it doesn't sound like clinical depression, which is good bc you do NEED meds for that. only way to know is a diagnosis tho

your struggle is still valid even if it isn't clinical or something else btww. it sounds like your life is just causing those symptoms

[Crimsyjo]

Yes I agree. I can be happy if I have what I want - which is just a partner to love and hold me and feel secure and safe with and then we can plan things with which makes life worth living. It seems such a small ask! But such a rare thing to find 🙁 im not young anymore. I can't keep waiting forever!

[AI Opinion]

Hey love-seeker! 🌟 My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help you find your spark again! Feeling like a zombie is no fun, but it sounds like you're in need of some serious TLC. It might be depression or a funk that you’ve found yourself in—it's worth considering talking to a pro about it! Love is a magical thing, but don’t let your heart forget about the love for yourself, darling! Dive into activities that used to thrill you or try something new. Sending you virtual hugs and all the positive vibes! 💖

[exitseven]

I had a friend who was a wellness coach. A few years ago I thought I might have been suffering from depression. It was different from just feeling sad about something. When I was sad I used to force myself to get past it and think of other things until I felt better. With depression it was like there was nothing for me to push against.
She told me that depression can be caused when you are pout of the loop of control of your life. It made sense to me because at the time I felt like I had no control over my destiny.
I tried to find activities that would make me feel more in control of my life. This actually worked until Covid happened and everything went to hell again.

[strateguy632]

Great quality! As usual. Keep this going!

[Crimsyjo]

Yes exactly. She is wise beyond words! I have everything I could want in terms of life needs except love/relationship. It's the one thing I have no control over. I can't buy it, make it, or work towards it like a diet goal. I have zero control. I do control where I look snd how but it's not working. You get stuck in a loop and medication isn't going to fix it. Therapy can't fix it. Thays what's so depressing. Probably letting go of ever finding love and "moving on" and accepting bring alone and building a life around that *should* work. But it doesn't. Because then I don't know why anyone wants to go on if that is all there is to life?

[Willowwww]

I think there are many guys who would love to have a deep connection with you. You just need to find the right one, and to do that, you have to be brave. Nice guys are often too shy or feel too hopeless to ask women out. But we truly appreciate the women who like us. So, be brave and take the first step.

[Crimsyjo]

I know. I think it's lack of locations where you can meet someone these days. Plus fear. If you see a nice guy/girl sat in a coffee shop there is no way your going to walk up to them! And bars/clubs just attract more a hook up vibe. I'd like to meet someone through work but I'd have to change jobs for that I think.
Thank you tho for replying!

[CherryLove007]

If its any help I was there too.

For me I think like this... each day new brain

I keep busy with any and everything that is not soul sucking... or chasing empty pleasures.

I do not take meds anymore but I take a natural supplement called Happy Saffron have you heard of it from Dr Amen? It works just as good as Prozac

Also if your soul is aching for love and I am also then possibly try a matchmaking site?

[Panthero80]

Is there peer-reviewed evidence that "Happy Saffron" works as well as Prozac? Dr. Amen is in the same league as Dr. Oz in terms of medical scammers.

[CherryLove007]

@Panthero80 I do believe on the active ingredient of saffron there is a load of studies... Dr Amen works mostly with Brain scans imaging as his field. I know he is dedicated to brain health. Saffron has many studies I read them.

[CherryLove007]

Dr Amen does need to do a long term study

[Staximus]

I know I've talked a lot of shit in the past but maybe you will listen this one time. You need to learn to value yourself and stop giving yourself away. Most people don't value or respect a person who is at their disposal or a person who does not value themselves. This is also true in relationships.

[Crimsyjo]

Thanks. I appreciate the answer. Tho honestly I don't even see or meet a guy to get to any point where they know anything about me let alone judge if I give it away or value myself etc. I haven't met a guy my age to talk to let alone date in over a year.

[RageBabe]

You might be experiencing a midlife crisis; when you get the opportunity, please read this “Midlife Crisis in Women: How to Find Your Silver Lining” by Rebecca Joy.

[Crimsyjo]

Thank you. Sounds interesting. Tho by all accounts did would be my second mid life crisis 😄

[RageBabe]

Girl, I think I had my first one at eighteen. No, but seriously, I hope things get better for you. 🤗

[Crimsyjo]

Haha yeah everyone seems to have this a lot these days. My daughters claimed depression early teens! Well I know I had depression then too. So.. it defo runs in my gene pool strongly.

[Levin]

So, what is blocking you?

I speak as a rhetorical question to ask yourself in quietness.

[strateguy632]

Yeh, if even things you enjoyed , now turn you off, that is depression. Pills help deal with, handle those feelings just not the hallucination type ones, just the ones that inhibit absorption, speak with a shrink, really!

[strateguy632]

Health DISCLAIMER, wrong category now. Health topic @GirlsAskGuys

[Speaking_Frankly]

It can be depression but a diagnosis by a licensed professional is perhaps the best start to solving the problem. I appreciate it may be easier said than done.

[Nikki1989]

Yeah, it has a name: anhedonia. Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure or a lack of interest in things that you used to enjoy.

[Clear_Skies10]

It sounds like you're just bored. If you fell in love with someone right now it might be ideal for you.

[Crimsyjo]

Yeah I know. I keep looking but nothing. Nobody. It's depressing me. And I want sex with connection so badly. I'm fed up of fuckbuddy sex wuth inconsistent guys.

[Clear_Skies10]

I hear you. I don't understand how people just fuck each other casually and then leave. If I like her then I'm gonna want to be together as much as possible.

[Crimsyjo]

I know right? Makes no sense to me. Even if it don't work out long term what's harm in lots of sex and as much happy times as possible?

[WhatIsYourZodiac]

Love is an amazing thing but so tough to find... I can understand you for sure

[Crimsyjo]

Thank you. Reminds me of song.. killing me softly. Or in my case, slowly. Ugh

[WhatIsYourZodiac]

Uggg... It's a slow poison

[jazzy34]

That’s a sign of clinical depression. However, that’s just one symptom. It’s best to be properly diagnosed by a medical professional.

[Crimsyjo]

Well doctor knows. I am having therapy. But it's not helping. And I don't want medication as I think how can that help? Doesn't fix the problem causing my depression.

[jazzy34]

If you want to improve naturally you can:

Exercise:
Regular physical activity, such as walking, running, or swimming, releases endorphins that have mood-boosting effects.

Sleep Hygiene:
Getting enough quality sleep is crucial for mental well-being. Establish a consistent sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

Healthy Diet:
Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and omega-3 fatty acids can provide essential nutrients that support brain health.

Stress Management:
Techniques like yoga, meditation, deep breathing exercises, and spending time in nature can help reduce stress levels, which can contribute to depression.

(Source: Google search and personal experience)

Whatever you end up doing, I truly wish you the best. 😊

[Crimsyjo]

Yh I've stopped all those things like 8 months ago when I was going gym and stuff regular before.

[Panthero80]

Medication can give you the energy and motivation to exercise and get out and be with others. If you try one antidepressant, you do not sign a lifetime contract to take it. If it doesn't work, you stop it.

[Crimsyjo]

@Panthero80 my mum always said you do. That once on it it's really hard to get off. I know that's (probably) not true but it has made me really not want to rely on chemical crutches in my body. Silly I know but it's like I'm afraid it willean I'm stick on it or it's a sign of a failure!

[Panthero80]

Failure of what? Would you feel that way if you took meds for your heart?

[Crimsyjo]

@Panthero80 haha if I took meds for my heart it means my heart is faulty or a failure. Which is bad but physical. Needing anti depressants feels like a failure at life. A failure to self regulate and get by. My mum was a narcissist. It feels like weakness. Even tho she took them most her life too.

[Purpleronnie]

@Crimsyjo , you properly sound like I did , “I don’t beleive in meds , and I just won’t take them “ your being given good advice though and it’s the same advice I’d give now having come through the other side and no longer take antidepressants. The path can be a lot easier with them than without

[Panthero80]

One of the classic symptoms of depression is called anhedonia, which is a loss of interest in once pleasurable activities. You should talk to your doctor.

[TonyMetal___86]

I'm not depressed as much as you but sign me in to the club haha

[slatyb]

That's depression. Get professional help. Have you tried an antidepressant?

[es20490446e]

Probably you are selling yourself too cheaply.

Another option may be not communicating clearly.

[Anonymous]

I feel almost the same, pure depression I guess.

[MasterKS]

You need to face reality and understand life with cool mind, your judging your own needs.

[Dargil]

Sounds like depression.

[Agape93]

Yeap

[panera]

Probably