Why do people say these things to me?

[Anonymous]

I'm obese. For real. I'm over 300 pounds.

But people say you're so beautiful I don't know why you aren't married. Are they blind or something?

[Snow123]

*cracks knuckles* haha. Okay, lets get down to business.

The reality of a person being heavy, even extremely obese, does not necessarily automatically exclude them from being attractive.

I'll be honest with you and say that yes, some people most likely aren't going to find you attractive because they don't like a larger-sized women. It's the same thing on the opposite side of the spectrum as there are also men who don't like overly thin women. I'm aware of the fact that there is a stigma nowadays when it comes to obesity that societal media and society in general tries to impress upon us from a young age. But that doesn't mean that it's necessarily right. Especially when it comes to beauty and what is - and isn't - attractive. So again to be honest, sure, I'm sure there are a few people who might compliment an obese person because they feel as though they might not have that much confidence and just want to help boost that person's self-esteem.

But that doesn't speak for all people. Just the other night, I was out having coffee with my dad at a cafe and there was an East Indian girl a few tables down on - what I am assuming - was a first date. Before I left, I told my dad I'd catch up and then I walked over to their table and told her how pretty I thought she was and that her eye/hair color combination was stunning. Now, not an ounce of me was lying at all when I said that to her. This girl was probably around 280-300 lbs herself. But that didn't detract at all from the fact that I honestly thought she was beautiful. By no means whatsoever did I compliment her because I "pitied" her or felt that she doesn't hear it, etc. etc. I said it because *I meant it*. Her being whatever weight she was (because yes, she would easily be considered obese as well) didn't matter one bit.

So it's not so much that I think people who are complimenting you are "blind" or anything like that, but more-so just giving you an honest opinion. Sure there might be a few jerks/"pitying" girls in the bunch but so what? I *guarantee* you that many of the people who have complimented you meant what they said. Beauty is subjective, and attractiveness is not always, nor is it solely determined by a person's weight - regardless of whether that weight adds or detracts from the person's overall look.

So nobody's blind really; we all just view things through a different looking glass. In some, a person will genuinely be absolutely stunning, and in others they'll be not so great. That applies to every individual on this planet. So hold your head up if you can, because it sounds like in some people's scopes, you're quite the looker :)

[CatholicVirginia]

That was a beautiful story!

[Snow123]

Aw haha, thanks :)

[crookthings]

Fat and beautiful aren't mutually exclusive to everyone.

Some people might be saying it out of pity, some people might be saying it because they believe you should feel good about yourself no matter what, and some people might see you as genuinely beautiful. Regardless, try not to be paranoid that you're being lied to. You wouldn't doubt them if YOU liked yourself.

[cun7n1nja]

This. =D

[CatholicVirginia]

I'm not going to pretend being overweight is the sexiest turn on ever. But some truly GORGEOUS girls are overweight. Just because their stomachs may not be absolutely perfect, their faces are often just gorgeous.

I'm sure you're one of those people. You probably have a really pretty face, beautiful eyes, and a nice smile. You're probably a really nice person. All of this combined outweighs the weight issue. You ARE beautiful. Girl, own it.

[PoeticNinja]

To make you feel better. - So, are you gonna do something about it?

[Asker]

That has nothing to do with the question. And I wasn't complaining about not being married f.y.i.

[PoeticNinja]

You asked why people say those things to you.. I answered. "To make you feel better."

Also, I meant.. Are you going to do something about your weight... Nor, did I say you were complaining.

[justme20]

have you thought maybe she likes being a bigger female and doesn't want to be a bimbo size 2?

[PoeticNinja]

Yeah, okay. Hence "Are they blind or something?" - Just figured I asked. :)

[Asker]

Me doing or not doing something about my weight is irrelevant. I'm talking about now.

[PoeticNinja]

Right. Gotcha. :D

[justme20]

look you don't need to make people feel horrible about themselves when you yourself claim to be insecure yet post body pics for all to see. there's no need to tell someone "loose weight and you'll be pretty" or say "they are telling you that to boost your confidence" maybe they actually find her pretty?

[PoeticNinja]

I'm not, my goodness. Chill the f*** out.

Did I tell her to lose weight? - I asked her if she was going to do something about it because apparently she's saying other people are blind when they tell her she's beautiful.

If they find her pretty, good deal. That's great! If they're telling that to cheer her up, that's great too. It's all how you take it..

[justme20]

right gotcha :D I'm actually not the one freaking out you are so please chill the f*** out. I call it like I see it :) have a good nite

[PoeticNinja]

Haha.. Okay. :D

[justme20]

being overweight or skinny has nothing to do with beauty. you can be beautiful at any size

[handsomejackk]

Settle down there, cowgirl

[justme20]

its true. you can be skinny with an ugly face and be overweight with a pretty face. beauty knows no size :)

[magnoliacrush]

whoa, what's up with the thumbs down? :(

[justme20]

too many insecure and unconfident people on this site who like to be mean to others and make them feel bad. nothing new lol

[Nicefuture]

Just because you are fat doesn't mean you are ugly, I have seen so many gorgeous overweight girls, being over weight made their face so much beautiful.

[magnoliacrush]

Beauty isn't restricted to the fit and skinny people. Have more confidence. I've met many sexy and beautiful "big girls."

[Anonymous]

they see you as a beautiful person on the inside, like personality wise. they're just trying not to be rude about it

[Anonymous]

You could be a wonderful person with a pretty face.