Mixed feelings of being hurt, confused, and missing him?

[Anonymous]

I had dated this guy for a total of about 8 months 4 last year and about 4 this year. The first time I was for lack of a better term his rebound girl. Anyhow everything has seemed fantastic these last months he was attentive,sweet,caring, and we spent as much time as possible together. I had recently given him a set of keys to my apartment since he was spending so much time here anyways. Well on Halloween we went out to have a fun night and my boyfriend was drinking heavily. He kept wanting me to pay for rounds of drinks even though at this point I was drinking water and second off I am always paying for things its nice to not have to for once. Anyways my guy total misunderstood what I was saying and started yelling that I'm a user,a player and I don't care about him. He throws 20 bucks at me and continues to yell and scream at me to get away calling me pathetic and a b*Tch as well as many other things I don't care to share. He then throws my keys at me and pushes me away as I'm crying my eyes out trying to figure out what just happened. Not thinking I slap him across the face. He storms off and leaves me stranded..I try to find him and talk but he keeps yelling at me. I eventually find him walking through the club hand in hand with another female. I tell her to get off of him since we need to talk and he shoved me to the ground leaving me there. Throughout the night and into the next day I try to reach out to him with zero response. He finally texts me back after my attempts to speak with him like an adult, sober, in person..with a text claiming I punched him and he can't deal with crazy. Now I know its wrong to get physical with anyone but I can guarantee I did not "punch" him I did slap him for disrespecting me with an open hand and have apologized for letting myself get angry to that level to out my hands on him. I later found out this guy has a PFA against him from his ex and abuse charges..I'm beyond confused how this seemingly nice amazing man could flip switch so fast. In the last week he refuses to speak to me blaming me for the entire ordeal. Everyone is telling me to run fast from this guy but I'm torn between being hurt, confused, upset and missing him. Any and all advice is appreciated. For the record he is 33

[jesshkah]

Leave. Alcohol can do things to people, so it may not be a huge shift since he was drinking. He should know that he has these tendencies and stay within his drinking limit. Also he didn't tell you about the PFA or charges which I strongly disagree with. And the fact that he's so willing to just find another chick in the bar/club doesn't speak well for him either. He shouldn't be calling you those things, ever, or shoving you anywhere. If he's blaming you for things he's probably causing you some emotional abuse too so really, for the betterment of yourself, just let it go. Missing someone is natural, especially after you thought things were going so well, but I think you know that this is a bad situation to be in..

[martyfellow]

A guy who drinks and loses control all the time is not someone you should want to be with. Plus he makes up things about you when it suits him. None of that is likely to stop. A lot of it can be ascribed to alcohol, but why the alcohol? He needs counseling and maybe more than that.

But you're not a counselor, so steer clear of him!