Ok so ill be blunt why is it so hard for a guy to enjoy a female

[caligirl2003]

For instance you have an affair but all of a sudden the guy trips thinkingu want a relationship but in reality the female know that's not gonna happen so you jus have sex and experiment with whatever. Than all of a sudden the guy pulls away and trips that the chick is trying to trap him and this happens right when both parties begin to get comfortable enough to not be shy and indulge more. So he breaks it off for a little bit and than comes back. what's the deal is it too much for the guy and if so what does a girl do?

[arthurdent]

It sounds like he's trying to figure things out. Maybe he is starting to have feelings for you, and by being a bit more distant he's trying to keep the relationship at the level he believes you want it.

Or maybe he's concerned that you're starting to have feelings, and he's trying to manage those.

I think the best solution in this is going to be to tell him essentially what you've told us: make it explicit to him what you want, what you like, what you hope comes from all of this.

Ask him what he thinks he wants.

Simple, right? :)

Really though, if you can do that, you can sort all this stuff out and hopefully get back to enjoying each others' company.

[caligirl2003]

Thats good advice but he is one of those males that is stubborn and trying to get him to listen is not always easy

[arthurdent]

That's a shame. It sounds like after taking some time away he came back? In which case the good news seems to be that he's not trying to end this thing you've going altogether. If you can't figure out a way to make him understand where you're at, you may just have to wait him out. Let him get comfortable with the idea that the sky isn't falling. Telling him explicitly, even if he is the stubborn type, may help to speed this up. But then again, if only I could follow that advice all the time...