Why do people want to "gatekeep" specific hobbies and feel the need to "protect" their label from others?

[msmissydc]

So for context, hobbies and interests are a common casual conversation. For example I do like gaming from time to time and I do like metal. Most of the time talking about it is as normal as going shopping.

Some specific people though make the whole conversation about how am I not "a real gamer/nerd", or try keep a label they call themselves from me, "metalhead", "nerd" or "gamer" are the biggest examples.

I dont care about these labels in the first place as it doesn't stopp me from liking these things anyway, but if we have the same interests why not talk about it together instead of you trying to make yourself look "more"? In my experience its much more common with nerd and gamer as with other things though and specifically with metalheads I have even encountered someone speaking out against one of those "gatekeepers".

From my point of view I prefer sharing my hobbies and invite others to try them. Having conversation with someone on even terms about something we both like seems more interesting than trying to make myself more than the other person in one category. This is my main focus about this issue, trying to keep the labels from someone is more a Symptom not the actual issue.

Yes if I am more experienced I may have more to share but there is a difference between, "if you haven't tried "x" I can really recommend it to knowing you like "y"" and "You haven't even tried "x" do you even really like this?"

Also as a sidenote because this one happend to me the other way around. I am not talking about people using things because they are "cool" without even knowing anything about it. Even than I dont mind and mostly misjudge people thinking they like something I like too. Best excample for this is I was talking with a younger person and we talked about music and I told her we have at least something in common as she was wearing a nirvana shirt. turned out she didn't even knew it was a band. That was a weird situation and was shocking to me.

[noemiii]

Yes, it gets annoying but I’m not going to sit here and say I don’t do it sometimes subconsciously too. Like me, I like Anime. If I’m talking to someone who says they also like anime and only names Naruto, I’m sorry, I don’t really consider them an anime fan.

Am I a diehard anime fan? No. But I wouldn’t listen to one song by Nirvana and call myself a Nirvana fan. I would be truthful and say I’m getting into them or haven’t listened to them much. When you tell people you’re trying to get into something you don’t know much about, they tend to actually give you suggestions.

I agree, gatekeeping is kind of annoying (especially women who gatekeep clothes they wear when you ask them about it) but at the same time, it’s also annoying when people who hear one heavily mainstream song (Cough, cough…Enter Sandman) then suddenly proclaim to be huge fans of Metallica. I wouldn’t do it, so I don’t particularly care when others do it, but do I go out of my way to make them feel bad about it? No. I just point them in the right direction. I started off not knowing anything about the topics I was passionate about but eventually became where I am today in whatever interests I like.

[Rei13]

People actually gatekeep that? That is wild, not surprised though. I enjoy listening to metal and playing video games as well as other things, but really don’t think they’re exclusive things. I go to anime/gaming/comic cons and concerts (used to go to metal festivals when they still played around where I live) and there is a lot of overlap of people that I would see at all of them. So I don't know. Just enjoy your hobbies and who cares what other people think.

[Mansearching]

Using labels is what we've become. Is it right? No it isn't. Its especially diverse to people who constantly play games. "Gamers". I use to play a lot of video games myself at a young age. Then I got pussy and gaming was over. I wish working was over so my collar wouldn't be blue anymore. Blue Collar and White Collar are labels for people who work. If I won lotto, I wouldn't have that label (s).

Its just been around so long our society refuses to change. When you try too, you'll relax and go right back using labels.

Its just what it is.

[CrimsonAngel09]

"Then I got pussy and gaming was over."

Yeah... didn't need to bring that up hermano.

[Mansearching]

@CrimsonAngel09 Just telling the truth. That's one of the main reasons I stopped.

[NathanDavis]

"standing out is the new pretension"

[ZamerZ]

I mean, you know how metalheads are -- they're the worst when it comes to gatekeeping. They manage to gatekeep the whole genre from new fans and the actual posers they are trying to keep out. With some of them you're doomed either way. Many have such a specific criteria of what a real metalhead is that only they and very few of their friends meet and anything else gets a red card.

Personally, I'm also annoyed by people wearing bandshirts of bands they don't listen to. They don't seem to appreciate the bands and I think that is what pisses most fans of. I recently found this one article by Elle Glen where she said: "Being Alternative isn’t something you can just become because you like the look of eyeliner and fishnets. Being Alternative truly entails belonging to an alternative ideology. When only this scene’s outward appearance is valued, it diminishes the beliefs of the movement. So essentially, if one allies themselves with mainstream culture, then identifying with an Alternative aesthetic degrades the Alternative subculture to a simple filter." And I think that nails it pretty much.

Many things that used to be "niche" and reserved for the "weirdos" is now used for mainstream purposes and attracts many people who just like tiny aspects of it without having to be a part. Mainstream has always used anti-mainstream and anti-consumerism movements to profit, oddly enough. And the people who have been in those specific niche circles like hobbies or music subcultures get very protective over these now.

I also like to share my interests and get very excited once I find others with whom I can bond over them, but it is a little bit difficult these days. Everyone seems to have a growing narcissistic streak and main character syndrome. They are their personal standard for the thing they like and everyone else doesn't count, so it's hard to connect with many people. I also have the impression that people can't really deal with other POVs and opinions anymore. You can't mention that you have a different favorite band or song and some will totally trip out and take it as a personal offense.

Sometimes it feels like that hipster wave back in the day when everyone was like "But I liked it first and before it was cool!" It's very exhausting.

[lildkman1090]

Gamers metal blah blah makes you happy right? Who cares about others and what they think if I could share pics of my hobbies i game listen to metal I build cars and trucks I take my truck bring it in the woods like a redneck I hate that label I read I also go fishing whenever I have time I read manga watch anime listen to music on my headphone while I’m doing everything I’m alone 24/7 so it’s all i do I bow hunt I stopped rifle hunting because it was too easy so I bow hunt to make it a challenge I have adhd so I constantly have to stimulate my brain or I go into a panick and I take 60 mg of adderol a day just to keep it in check but I still go into a panick if I’m not doing something I have a vast list of things I enjoy but what people think I could give a fuck less I use to care what everyone thought of me growing up I had to meet there expectations always living up and I was always tired sad depressed because I wasn’t doing anything for myself once I broke out of the prison I built for myself in my mind I felt so much better sorry tmi

[CrimsonAngel09]

Fuck them.

I mainly game, and it does get annoying with people like that. Then you got people who make fun of you simply because you still play the last gen consoles.

You think you were talking to five year olds rather than adults.

[Anonymous]

It’s because that hobby is there still identity and they don’t do anything else in their life that is worthy of note, so they have to put others down who dabble in sad hobby to make themselves feel better.

[Opinion Owner]

*their sole identity

[Anonymous]

Probably the same reason for racism. They feel like they're part of a group and outsiders shouldn't be allowed in. I notice that in school, in church, everywhere there is always a group that feels outsiders shouldn't be allowed in.

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t like gatekeeping

[Jennz6]

I agree with you