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I’m starting to think something fishy is up with this claim. He must outsource the work or something.
What is your opinion?
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Superb Opinion
+1 yWell, obviously there’s a touch of magic to it. I’m sure there’s more than a little planning and, as you pointed out, teamwork. I’m convinced of the magic cuz not everyone has chimneys! He’s obviously well known among law enforcement and has a gift with dogs. He might even take a techie around with him for people who arm their security systems. Who doesn’t realize he couldn’t do any of it without Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen? Don’t come at me with Rudolph! He only helped out that one year! And what a friggin’ diva! Ell oh ell!
11 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
- +1 y
wow you're a noob.. he opens the bottom latch on his sleigh and releases the presents through the open latch/open compartment and from there the presents are all ball orb shaped or like pixie dust and it lands down people's chimneys or if they don't have a chimney then either on the roof top or by the front or back door
19 Reply- +1 y
FFS just watch Flintstones Christmas and you'll see what I mean when Fred is dressed as santa
- +1 y
no no no that dent came from the toothfairy who was drunk or from the Easter bunny. next time get surveillence cameras to see which one caused it
- +1 y
and if he ever wanted to go down a chimney himself he has to touch the side of his nose give a nod and he'll turn into pixie dust and can fly down the chimney that way then come back as a solid person again. almost like self teleportation
- +1 y
no not quite just flying pixie dust he turns himself into as a way of traveling down chimneys or if he didn't he'd get stuck unless he stretches his whole body out like a slinky or playdoe or slime
He has people. Short and small people, like us, who can shimmy up and down chimneys with ease. No way he can get his big fat ass down a chimney without getting stuck, which would require calling fire rescue. That would really hold things up.
#SmallPeopleRock14 Reply
+1 yHe obviously uses magic and has a clock that stops time and that's also why nobody has seen him do his Job before!
81 Reply
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What Girls & Guys Said
18
Opinion
32Opinion
Didn't you know at the bottom third of the bag is a bed and starbucks for the Elf... I thought everyone knew this. And for regular fireplaces Santa sends the elves. When the Elves can't fit, they pull one of their Gnome of their "tool belt" and he/she "got that".
10 ReplyHaven't you noticed all those Santa's in malls and department stores? He along with the help of Elves delivers all the toys to them, and they make the final delivery.
12 Reply- +1 y
There is more than one Santa
10 Reply - +1 y
By being everywhere at once, he uses advanced cloning technology
425 Reply- +1 y
With an army of elves, you can invent any technology you need. or just watch anime while all your clones work for you, I don't know.
- +1 y
What would you create?
- +1 y
Lmao, I almost choked laughing at that. Are you shrinking anybody on here? 👀
- +1 y
Lol, there's too many short people. You'd have to reduce G@G to the size of ants vs termites
- +1 y
*leaves the room and bombs the building*
n o
t h a t p u n w a s n o t n e e d e d - +1 y
This is what I meant by your jokes are bigger than you are, maybe even the termites. If Santa comes this year, I'll show him this pun so he brings no gift
- +1 y
and who else? are you shrinking Santa too? he might even bring you one of those height increasing shoes if you behave lol
- +1 y
hmmm. it sounds like you've worn them before
- +1 y
a 5 or 6 inch shoe could probably help you get above 5'0 since you're like 4'6 or 4'7, no? if not, Santa could probably get you some stilts.
- +1 y
omg lol, you're smaller than I thought. 😂
stilts it is I guess, but there is taller shoes. the issue would be that taller shoes are more obvious to tell, but 5 inches should be fine. - +1 y
That isn't how height works or can I claim to be 5'10 instead? better than stilts though, Don't use your shrink ray and maybe santa will get you either lol.
- +1 y
😂😂😂
- +1 y
I'm still trying to figure out how you can ride a Symbian and sing Silent Night at the same time. I guess it's all part of the magic of Christmas.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/jGvhuAsLhBg26 Reply- +1 y
simple they have the symbian set to low and when they hit the high notes they crank up the dial on the symbian to bello out louder higher toned notes
- +1 y
@Batsy01010101
Ah, that explains it. - +1 y
yes..
- +1 y
This is the best answer !!! 😳😳😳😳😳
- +1 y
@Charliefretz329
Tis the season. :) - +1 y
I’m a Grinch usually but something inside me just grew 3 times larger
- +1 y
All the mince pies and brandy we leave out for him allows his body to produce an extra slippery sweat that allows rapid descent down chimneys
41 Reply - +1 y
Well here's my opinion on this subject , Santa Claus can either teleport inside the house an Walk really quietly to where no one will know he's in the house so he can sneak Christmas presents under the tree. or if the owners don't have a Guard dog he can quietly open the door Then without making any noise Walk over to the Christmas tree an put the presents underneath.
10 Reply There’s actually a theory called the Quantum Superposition theory where an object can exist in more than two places at once, which is how Santa can be at multiple places at once. However, observing the object collapses it, which is why you never see Santa. Don’t worry about him, he’s just regularly playing jump rope with the rules of quantum mechanics every Christmas, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with this at all. 😀
10 Reply- +1 y
This might work for Santa Claus to get him down the chimney.
33 Reply- +1 y
@bigpauly Thank you
- +1 y
Lmao
- +1 y
He cloned himself over a billion then massacred every one of his clones to make sure Mrs. Clause got screwed only by him. ;) :D
22 Reply- +1 y
You bet your keister he is!
- +1 y
He uses his time machine
20 Reply - +1 y
Something's fishy? What Do You Mean? THERE'S NO SANTA?
23 Reply- +1 y
Well of course not! He's got a whole crew of elves in assistance. He only visits those special ones! He'll visit me!! I've got a whole list of toys for his presence!!!
It's all outsourced to Amazon...
... only half joking.
22 Reply- +1 y
The big guy gets to hit the beach early. All good.
- +1 y
We will explain the magic to you when we feel like you are old enough :-)
21 Reply Magic, applied science, time warp, something like that. All I know is I get lots of loot under the tree and I don't care how it gets there.
31 Reply- +1 y
He has lots of snow (some people call it blow)... the same reason Rudolf's nose is so red. He does crazy shit 1 time a year for 24 hours straight because of the time zones. Coffee is just not going to cut it... he has to cut it with baking soda.
10 Reply 645 opinions shared on Holidays topic. Like everything else, he has been doing it for so long he has got his raindeer trained to go really fast and he can do many chimneys a minute. He starts in the east and goes westward to take advantage of the different time zones.
10 Reply- +1 y
Santa is a wizard who travels by using Floo Powder. Duh
41 Reply Lol are u sure it's Santa coming down your chimney? It could be a robber
35 Reply- +1 y
santa has white snow all night long. it makes him super skinny and fast for only one night. it's a helluva drug
20 Reply Time Dilation. To him, he's working 364 days a year; it just seems like one night to all of us.
10 Reply- +1 y
There are many Santas. Most of their secret identities are the kids’ parents. Santa is an anagram of Satan. If Santa was real, there would be less homeless people. Parents love to lie to kids about Satan, I mean Santa, Claws, I mean, Claus.
10 Reply The DC comic explanation is that he's a near omnipotent and omnipresent entity and that's how he does it.
10 ReplyDo not question santy
54 Reply- +1 y
These are questions you wonder as you get older as to why u believed that when u were younger
10 Reply - +1 y
Think he retired.
34 Reply- +1 y
Well he loves you. You’re considered family.
- +1 y
@bigpauly 👍🏻👍🏻
Look up St. Nicholas of Myra. Thats the true origins of Santa.
10 Reply- +1 y
He's been replaced by Amazon drones.
25 Reply- +1 y
Bezos ruined Christmas too
- +1 y
he uses flow powder and time turner from Harry Potter
10 Reply - +1 y
I heard he can walk up and crawl through walls.. 🧐
10 Reply He masturbates the toys down each of the chimneys. Bad on the urethra.
13 Reply- +1 y
Quit trying to freak @bigpauly out. He’s a sweetie.
- +1 y
Yeah. I know.
No idea. Not everyone is so small
23 ReplyChristmas magic!!! Duhhhh
13 Reply- +1 y
You're so corny 😹
11 Reply 384 opinions shared on Holidays topic. It's obvious he uses some sort of magic.
12 ReplyHe's going at the speed of light
10 Reply- +1 y
It's all magic!
10 Reply He doesn't, he sends his Congolese slave laborers.
10 ReplySomething to do with Quantum shit I maybe
10 ReplyCopious quantities of KY jelly helps a lot.
10 ReplyHarrier Jump Jet
10 Reply- +1 y
He disguises all of his elves to look like him
10 Reply Santa is magical that's all
10 ReplyIt's a secret
11 Reply- +1 y
Magic dust, man!
10 Reply He is that good!
10 Reply- +1 y
Magic!
20 Reply - +1 y
Pikcy dust
10 Reply - 449 opinions shared on Holidays topic. +1 y
He uses lube, lol.
10 Reply - +1 y
Santa lube
10 Reply
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