How does Santa get down all those chimneys in one night?

[bigpauly]

I’m starting to think something fishy is up with this claim. He must outsource the work or something.

[Chazmatazz269]

Well, obviously there’s a touch of magic to it. I’m sure there’s more than a little planning and, as you pointed out, teamwork. I’m convinced of the magic cuz not everyone has chimneys! He’s obviously well known among law enforcement and has a gift with dogs. He might even take a techie around with him for people who arm their security systems. Who doesn’t realize he couldn’t do any of it without Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen? Don’t come at me with Rudolph! He only helped out that one year! And what a friggin’ diva! Ell oh ell!

[bigpauly]

Needs a whole song for himself

[Batsy01010101]

wow you're a noob.. he opens the bottom latch on his sleigh and releases the presents through the open latch/open compartment and from there the presents are all ball orb shaped or like pixie dust and it lands down people's chimneys or if they don't have a chimney then either on the roof top or by the front or back door

[Batsy01010101]

FFS just watch Flintstones Christmas and you'll see what I mean when Fred is dressed as santa

[bigpauly]

That explains the dent in my walls

[bigpauly]

Lmao

[Batsy01010101]

no no no that dent came from the toothfairy who was drunk or from the Easter bunny. next time get surveillence cameras to see which one caused it

[bigpauly]

They told me you did it

[Batsy01010101]

and if he ever wanted to go down a chimney himself he has to touch the side of his nose give a nod and he'll turn into pixie dust and can fly down the chimney that way then come back as a solid person again. almost like self teleportation

[bigpauly]

Like in Star Trek?

[Batsy01010101]

no not quite just flying pixie dust he turns himself into as a way of traveling down chimneys or if he didn't he'd get stuck unless he stretches his whole body out like a slinky or playdoe or slime

[bigpauly]

Oooh that makes sense

[SaoirseS]

He has people. Short and small people, like us, who can shimmy up and down chimneys with ease. No way he can get his big fat ass down a chimney without getting stuck, which would require calling fire rescue. That would really hold things up.
#SmallPeopleRock

[bigpauly]

Yet he gets alllll the credit 😒

[SaoirseS]

Yes, the boss usually does.

[bigpauly]

I think it’s time for a tiny people strike

[SaoirseS]

Absolutely.

[melanieeeB]

He obviously uses magic and has a clock that stops time and that's also why nobody has seen him do his Job before!

[bigpauly]

Ooooh!!

[Guy13]

Didn't you know at the bottom third of the bag is a bed and starbucks for the Elf... I thought everyone knew this. And for regular fireplaces Santa sends the elves. When the Elves can't fit, they pull one of their Gnome of their "tool belt" and he/she "got that".

[llorando]

Haven't you noticed all those Santa's in malls and department stores? He along with the help of Elves delivers all the toys to them, and they make the final delivery.

[bigpauly]

That does explain a lot

[llorando]

No different then UPS dropping your package off at your local post office for final delivery.

[smahala1991]

There is more than one Santa

[letuswaltzforthedead]

By being everywhere at once, he uses advanced cloning technology

[bigpauly]

That sly dog

[letuswaltzforthedead]

With an army of elves, you can invent any technology you need. or just watch anime while all your clones work for you, I don't know.

[bigpauly]

Maybe I should get one of these armys 🤔

[letuswaltzforthedead]

What would you create?

[bigpauly]

Shrink ray to get back at all my bullies

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Lmao, I almost choked laughing at that. Are you shrinking anybody on here? 👀

[bigpauly]

Pretty much the entire site at this point. 😂😂😂

[letuswaltzforthedead]

Lol, there's too many short people. You'd have to reduce G@G to the size of ants vs termites

[bigpauly]

I just might

[bigpauly]

I just ter…. might

[letuswaltzforthedead]

*leaves the room and bombs the building*
n o
t h a t p u n w a s n o t n e e d e d

[bigpauly]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[letuswaltzforthedead]

This is what I meant by your jokes are bigger than you are, maybe even the termites. If Santa comes this year, I'll show him this pun so he brings no gift

[bigpauly]

😒 you’ll be the first victim of the shrink ray

[letuswaltzforthedead]

and who else? are you shrinking Santa too? he might even bring you one of those height increasing shoes if you behave lol

[bigpauly]

Those don’t do the trick at my size (not that I’d know from experience 👀)

[letuswaltzforthedead]

hmmm. it sounds like you've worn them before

[bigpauly]

I don't know what you’re talking about

[letuswaltzforthedead]

a 5 or 6 inch shoe could probably help you get above 5'0 since you're like 4'6 or 4'7, no? if not, Santa could probably get you some stilts.

[bigpauly]

I wore them to get to the almost 4’7” mark 👀😂.

I didn’t know there were any that big though. The ones I had added like 2.5-3 inches. Either way, my ads would need the stilts to get past 5ft 😭🤣🤣

[letuswaltzforthedead]

omg lol, you're smaller than I thought. 😂
stilts it is I guess, but there is taller shoes. the issue would be that taller shoes are more obvious to tell, but 5 inches should be fine.

[bigpauly]

Lmao I claim the 4’7” because that’s the last time I was measured. Whether I mention I had shoes on or not is another story. 👀
Lmao 5 inches seems like it would stand out.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

That isn't how height works or can I claim to be 5'10 instead? better than stilts though, Don't use your shrink ray and maybe santa will get you either lol.

[bigpauly]

Lmao ok ok Ill adjust in the future, yeesh

[letuswaltzforthedead]

😂😂😂

[SpringValley]

I'm still trying to figure out how you can ride a Symbian and sing Silent Night at the same time. I guess it's all part of the magic of Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/jGvhuAsLhBg

[Batsy01010101]

simple they have the symbian set to low and when they hit the high notes they crank up the dial on the symbian to bello out louder higher toned notes

[SpringValley]

@Batsy01010101

Ah, that explains it.

[Batsy01010101]

yes..

[Charliefretz329]

This is the best answer !!! 😳😳😳😳😳

[SpringValley]

@Charliefretz329
Tis the season. :)

[Charliefretz329]

I’m a Grinch usually but something inside me just grew 3 times larger

[purplepoppy]

All the mince pies and brandy we leave out for him allows his body to produce an extra slippery sweat that allows rapid descent down chimneys

[bigpauly]

Ahhh that makes sense.

[MichaelEspinoza]

Well here's my opinion on this subject , Santa Claus can either teleport inside the house an Walk really quietly to where no one will know he's in the house so he can sneak Christmas presents under the tree. or if the owners don't have a Guard dog he can quietly open the door Then without making any noise Walk over to the Christmas tree an put the presents underneath.

[Price511]

There’s actually a theory called the Quantum Superposition theory where an object can exist in more than two places at once, which is how Santa can be at multiple places at once. However, observing the object collapses it, which is why you never see Santa. Don’t worry about him, he’s just regularly playing jump rope with the rules of quantum mechanics every Christmas, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with this at all. 😀

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

This might work for Santa Claus to get him down the chimney.

[bigpauly]

Lmao nice

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@bigpauly Thank you

[Charliefretz329]

Lmao

[DeeDeeDeVour]

He cloned himself over a billion then massacred every one of his clones to make sure Mrs. Clause got screwed only by him. ;) :D

[bigpauly]

That dirty dog

[DeeDeeDeVour]

You bet your keister he is!

[andreasderjuengere]

He uses his time machine

[Curiosity2006]

Something's fishy? What Do You Mean? THERE'S NO SANTA?

[bigpauly]

No Santa? Where’d you get that idea? I was saying he doesn’t do it all by himself.

[Curiosity2006]

Well of course not! He's got a whole crew of elves in assistance. He only visits those special ones! He'll visit me!! I've got a whole list of toys for his presence!!!

[bigpauly]

Oooh that makes sense. He might visit you but only if he has time after seeing me. I leave out his favorite cookies.

[SnowedIn]

It's all outsourced to Amazon...

... only half joking.

[bigpauly]

Yea, it’s pretty accurate 😭

[dustybiker]

The big guy gets to hit the beach early. All good.

[Emiliamazing]

We will explain the magic to you when we feel like you are old enough :-)

[bigpauly]

Alright I really walked into that one 😒

[TroyDT2]

Magic, applied science, time warp, something like that. All I know is I get lots of loot under the tree and I don't care how it gets there.

[bigpauly]

True, that is the important part.

[D_Bone_Steak]

He has lots of snow (some people call it blow)... the same reason Rudolf's nose is so red. He does crazy shit 1 time a year for 24 hours straight because of the time zones. Coffee is just not going to cut it... he has to cut it with baking soda.

[exitseven]

Like everything else, he has been doing it for so long he has got his raindeer trained to go really fast and he can do many chimneys a minute. He starts in the east and goes westward to take advantage of the different time zones.

[sirderpsalot123]

Santa is a wizard who travels by using Floo Powder. Duh

[bigpauly]

That does explain the beard

[Fuentes]

Lol are u sure it's Santa coming down your chimney? It could be a robber

[bigpauly]

Is this like the plot of Friday after Next?

[Fuentes]

Yup just like that hahaha Santa robbing houses Whole Craig and his cousin getting chased by the bangers hahaha

[bigpauly]

Lmao I should get around to rewatching those

[Fuentes]

Yeah funniest hood classic movies hahaha Terry Crews was wild in that one hahaha

[bigpauly]

Oh lord I forgot all about that

[Sevenpointfive]

santa has white snow all night long. it makes him super skinny and fast for only one night. it's a helluva drug