Does he like me as more than a friend?

[Anonymous]

Have known this guy for 4 months. He is shy, introverted and doesn't get close to many people. He says he values having me in his life but still unsure what that means.

Signs he doesn't:

• never touches me apart from occasional hug
• has never said he does, even when I flirt
• doesn't initiate texts or meetups much
• I have to be the one to initiate first contact for us to talk or meet up in person
• Never commented on my looks or caught him staring at me
• Isn't overly flirtatious
• Spends more time talking about himself than asking about me (but does actively listen when I speak)

Signs he does:

• Texted me his entire schedule for next 6 months just to ensure we catch up
• Always respond immediately when texting and text conversations can last 3-4 hours some days.
• Has been extremely emotionally vulnerable and says I'm one of the few he trusts. Also loves telling me about all aspects of his life
• Occasional compliments via text about qualities he likes (intelligence, kindness etc)
• Body language: mirrors mine, smiles a lot, and leans in when he talks to me, eye contact but doesn't directly stare at me. Always walks close to me.
• Hugs me, hi and goodbye each time he sees me
• Invited me to his hometown when I already had a holiday planned there anyway and then when that was canceled, re-offered to show me again the next time. Then joking about getting his friend to move his wedding just so he could be there to show me around.
• texted to check I was ok when he heard I was in hospital even though we weren't that close at the time
• walked me home after weekly social event, always chose to sit beside me and always offered to buy me a drink whenever he got one for himself
• Took me to a bar to catch up even though he doesn't drink but knows I do. Is very good at following up and organizing time + place of our meetups even though I have to initiate
• Last in-person catchup went for 4+ hours (lost track of time) and asked to see me the next day. Very engaged in all our talks and never checks his phone

Updates

1 y

Also:
- He isn't affectionate person (not just with me) and doesn't hug his friends but now he initiates it with me.
- Is more nervous & socially awkward with me then in group settings unsure if its just because he is nervous about being alone with a new friend
- He turned conversation romantic a few times (dating history, next relationship, values, kids, timelines) which is strange to know or answer about a friend
- has never referred to me as his friend just that he values having me in his lif

Updates

1 y

Also as much as i have strong feelings for him, our work schedules mean that we won't be in the same country for the next few months. The next time i see him will be in 3 months when i visit him and then another 3 months before we will be living in same place again. I'm hesitant to tell him how i feel now as it can't be done in person and a LDR is no way to initiate a relationship. I may have also been giving off mixed signals and am concerned of being put in friendzone for good.

[Guy13]

No kissing or physical contact means friendship

[Asker]

Normally i agree but he is giving mixed signals. I probably should have included that he bought up his dating history and turned conversation romantic the last time i saw him. He asked what i wanted out of my next relationship and what my plans for the future were (kids, travel, settling down). He also doesn't hug many of his friends and doesn't like touching people in general. I hugged him once and now he initiates it himself. He comes across as nervous around me so its hard to tell if he is scared to cross the friend barrier because of rejection and is looking to me to make the first move or genuinely doesn't have feelings. When we are together it feels more like dates than a casual hang-out (the word hang out has never been used) and he goes to effort to plan and pre-book everything we do. He has never said he sees me as a friend either, just that he values having me in his life. I'm very confused.

[Guy13]

Indecisive on the front end means exhaustion and eventual break-up. It is not clicking or he would act. He is in effect testing on you.-He doesn't mean too but he is.

[Asker]

I think we are both indecisive because i suspect we both have feelings but are also aware that the timing isn't right to start a relationship for either of us as work schedules has us travelling/living in diffrent places for next few months. What should i do? Bring it up and address saying not now but maybe in the future or if i say nothing does that put me permanently in the friend zone for good? We are actually very compatible and it would work it just wouldn't work now as a LDR is no way to start a relationship. I do like him, i'm just very confused and suspect he is too.

[Guy13]

Hopefully, you two can get on the same page. No Risk and Regret is devastating...

[Con29]

I think he is building up to it sometimes or what you could do is make a move in and try and kiss him see where that goes it’s up to you.

[Asker]

yeah that was my original plan, just let it happen naturally. I think i'm just panicking because although i know i can't start a relationship with him right now i am concerned of being friend-zoned permanently. I regret not trying this when i said goodbye to him yesterday but self doubt/anxiety got the better of me. I think i might just try and bring it up next time we talk, if i can find a way of doing it without it seeming like im dumping my feelings on him, which is also unfair on him.

[Con29]

I would rather be in your situation because I can tell my future girl everything what I like in a relationship even sexual lol

[Con29]

Thank you so much 😊

[Teriyaki70]

Ask him

[Asker]

hard when it can't be done in person. Won't be able to see him for another few months

[Anonymous]

I don't know.