Is giving out “olive branches” to people you don’t get along with (either never or had a falling out with) more rare nowadays?

[Anonymous]

There was a young woman I started to get to know romantically. However, after a few weeks chatting with she blindsided me with a very unfair (and completely unexpected) rant about radical politics.

This is not the first time I’ve encountered women acting this way in our “modern” culture in early romantic interactions. And I absolutely HATE that mindset becuase it not only harms men but it also ultimately leaves woman miserable. Nobody (right or left) can ever be truly happy if they fixate on ideologies / politics nonstop.

It’s was very depressing and I was calm at first (thinking it was a sh*t test). However she doubled down when I calmly told her I didn’t agree with what she said. At that point U accepted that I would never pursue dating her, cut my losses and ended it with speaking my mind. Told her that it was completely unfair and deranged bs for her to talk someone that way with zero provocation.

With that said she is dealing with some real issues that likely led to her feeling that way. She also recently broke her leg and I can see why she’s depressed. Even though I expect nothing in return I still feel like sending a very inexpensive yet thoughtful gift for the holidays could cheer her up.

I want to do this to show that the world isn’t “us vs. them” like how she sees it (politically). I noticed that young women especially are looking through that warped lense. Chances are she’s going to just take my earlier angry response as affirmation that she really is “a victim”. Which is ridiculous but still I wanted to make an attempt to show it’s really not like that.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

So you want to send her a gift so you can show you’re better than her already low expectations of you?

[Asker]

Read exactly what you wrote above. I read between the lines there. It’s just dripping with not so subtle malice and judgment.

I am sending this with absolutely no expectations of getting anything in return. Not even expecting a thank you text message.

And it’s not a “false” gift either. It’s just something nice and it’s really about me being thoughtful about her situation/holidays DESPITE not agreeing with her ideology viewpoints. It doesn’t mean I hate her for existing (not like how you alluded to hating me for existing)

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It sounds like you guys stopped talking a while ago. I’m pretty sure a gift like this would be received negatively because she would think it’s you trying to start things up again.

[Asker]

We stopped talking 5 days ago. But I sent her a DM telling her I wanted to send a gift for the holidays. Told her to provide any address she felt comfortable with (I haven’t been over her place yet).

She might not respond at all. If that’s the case I got my answer. But if she does give me an address then I suppose that mean something.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If she is as radicalized as you say, then she’s going to genuinely believe that anything you do is for your personal benefit and there is nothing you do that isn’t to your personal benefit. She would never believe there isn’t an ulterior motive behind your actions. Save your money. Or donate it.

[egan3141]

Yes, it is more rare. But that's because true kindness is more rare. Doing nice things for people you care about isn't true kindness. Doing nice things for people you have no or negative feels about, that is true kindness.

Well... kind of. The issue is the people that "help others" through donations and other charity crap to make themselves look good, not because they actually want to help someone.

[Asker]

I expect nothing in return. But it stems from partially from my Christian beliefs. But it’s also meant to show that people you disagree with aren’t necessarily “evil” like she has been brainwashed to believe.