Just had a read through your opinion comments on this... I really hope you're a troll. Otherwise, you're making me lose faith in humanity.
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By not wanting to change my name? :/ People is telling me I am selfish for wanting to change MY name. ITS MY NAME. I am the one losing hope in humanity
It's got nothing to do with not watching to change your name. Do what you like. It's you calling everything you might not like 'sexist'. A guy wanting his wife to take his last name? Not sexist.
Lol you two fighting over who should choose whos last name is the dumbest thing i have read all day. There are far more concerning issues when you get married... this is fucking nothing. grow. up
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You're obviously dumb. We are not arguing. HE made the suggestion and I disagreed. Besides we already discussed it so the people that are calling me selfish for not taking his name looks stupid
I am obviously dumb when I called you out on your shit? But eh why not just break up with him, it should work out for you in the long run, he can go his way, find someone who is willing to understand him, knowing full well that situations like this aren't trivial and you can go complain about some other dude being sexist. problem solved.
He might just be traditional. Perhaps he's very proud of his last name, and you not taking it might be an insult to him. Also if his family is very old school, then that could also be a factor.
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Well I am proud of my name too and it's a insult that he wants me to take his. What you have to say about that?
My name isn't good enough. You are too good for my family? Are the first things I can think to say if some one said they did not want my name. And I am sorry but my name represents who I am where I come from it comes with the ring. Just how I feel...
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Well she can ask those same questions. Is her name not good enough? or her family? Her name could represent her too? Do you not care about that?
Well I'm traditional that's just how I feel. You must really not like his name very much. Its good you guys are talking about this because if something like this gets in the way what happens when something hard comes along?
Also I want my kids to have my name. To carry on the traditions of my family not my father in laws. And I most certainly wouldn't want to - next to my name
Tradition is sexist by the way. Besides we worked it out already. We're good and happy
"what happens when something hard comes along"
We tackle every problem together. The reason I didn't go to him about this was because it was a inside problem. Plus he had 20 mins til he was leaving for work
Then find a man who doesn't care what name you have then.
I mean - you have a right to your opinion - so does your boyfriend. It's good you guys found this incompatibility early... as likely, there are many others that would have discovered later.
Ya but hyphenating still has your name too. He isn't totally unjustified here. You should have discussed this a long time ago. It is normal to assume you'd take his name since majority of women do. I'd stop making plans though until you guys figure it out.
No that isn't your point. If it was you never would've said and I quote "You should never, regardless of situation, say yes to a marriage you don't want to commit to"
Plus it doesn't matter. Yours and everyone else sexist opinions means nothing. We discussed this already (the same day btw). We're still getting married and he's taking my name
No but he wants me to take his name BECAUSE I am a woman I believe. Ugh whatever. I guess I blew it out of proportion I guess. I am talking to him later when he gets home. You people gave me a headache and actually made me more mad at him. Thats terrible so I am just gonna quit
How can you say that but tell me I should take his name. You didn't say it specially but you implied it. You definitely disapprove of me not taking his name and having a problem with taking it
Because marriage shouldn't be about a freaking name. It should be about love, happiness, and being a TEAM together. Not me taking his name because I am a woman. I dont value marriage but I know there's more to it than a freaking name
What's a half decent wife? I was a GREAT girlfriend so I'm sure I'll be a GREAT wife. There's honestly no difference between us. Only difference is, the government see us as 'together' now which we don't need approval by the way
Its not because is has nothing to do with me not wanting to take his last name. Now you answer my question, bet you dont even know the answer thats why you asked a question with a question
Actually you didn't answer my question stupid b! tch. My question was "How am I a feminist for not wanting to change my last name?" and you didn't answer. You reverse the question on me. Go back and read it yourself
I am not going unanonymous so people can hate and flag me for wanting to keep my name. And all you have to do is go back and read and you'll SEE that you did not answer my question. You reversed my question back to me but you did not answer it
That reverse psychology crap doesn't work on me. You KNOW you didn't answer my question. Trying to convince me you did, won't make me believe you. My major is psychology
"I didn't make the stupid rules for marriage either" you ignore the rule about talking his last name but insist that he buy you a diamond ring. You can't have it all ways when it suits you, your guy is probably thinking why bother getting married if tradition can be thrown out the window.
"So maybe you can go buy him something of equal worth as an engagement present. Like a car mustang maybe. "
I buy him things all the time. Like I said I didn't ask him to. He INSIST on me taking it. If you read through my comments to others, you'll see I never wanted to get married and he begged me to marry him for 2 years
"you ignore the rule about talking his last name but insist that he buy you a diamond ring"
Once again idiot I didn't insist on him buying me a ring. That doesn't even make sense considering the fact that I never wanted to get married
"your guy is probably thinking why bother getting married if tradition can be thrown out the window"
Lmao well you're wrong because he AGAIN insist on taking my name instead
Dude you don't get it. Just because I didn't want to marry him doesn't mean I don't love him. I've known him since middle school. We have been dating for a while, I love him more than life itself, and he love me. Our relationship is more than perfect. The reason I didn't want to get married was because I don't value marriage (that's why I call the tradition stupid, there's no point in it to me)
We've been living together for 3 years. He got his first apartment when I was a freshman in college. After having his apartment for a year, I moved in his apartment the next year
Exactly. My point is, we don't need all of that to be considered together. We already are and we love each other. HE wants to get married and because I love him to bits, I'll take that huge step for him
I'm not buying him a mustang, I'll buy him something else for his birthday. If his car messes up THEN I'll buy him a car. I'll have to see because I don't even know if he likes mustangs. He'll most likely pretend to love it then take it back. That's the type of guy he is
If you think he is sexist for wanting something you don't, you're never going to be happy.
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You dont anything about us. Just because I want to keep my name doesn't mean I am going to make him wash my car or something. I really tired of talking to you people
He's obviously not sexist. It's normal for the woman to take the guy's name. Most people expect that to happen. Just tell him your gonna keep your name and give your reasons why. He'll get use to it
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It's considered normal because women in the days didn't have a choice at anything. That tradition carried on to 2015
Maybe if you took the consideration that the reason he wants you to take his last name is because if his background or religion, you'd realize that it's childish to think about calling off the marriage. That's not even him being a sexist
It is sexist but that doesn't even matter anymore. We already discussed it the other day. He is changing his. We had a huge conversation and we understand both POVs. He only wanted me to change it because he thought I was into the whole tradition thing. He doesn't even care about his last name. He just wants to marry me and want us to have the same name for our children to be a family. I told him its OK and he doesn't have to (change his name) but he insist on it. It's his choice and I am OK with him changing his
@Conflustered Marriage tradition is sexist. I never wanted to get married anyways. I love him and want to do this for him but that doesn't involve taking his name. Reality? You wonna talk about reality? You are a woman yourself, you should know how sexism is working in society.
Its not pride. I want to keep MY last name. It my name. Why wouldn't I want to keep it? He seems to have the pride wanting me to take his last name and abandon mine
You said you don't think you can marry him anymore because of this then you contradict yourself by saying it's nothing to do with marriage. Yes I'm a woman thank you for noticing just not a crazy psychotic drama bitch type of woman :)
@Conflustered "You said you don't think you can marry him anymore because of this then you contradict yourself by saying it's nothing to do with marriage"
I said that because the guy said "It appears that since you don't want to take his name, and he is adamant about it, why would you want to get married?" so shut up and read
You people want any reason to make me seem like the bad person when I just want to keep my name.
He's obviously a very lucky guy to get you. <-- by the way see how I can make coherent sentences. You should try sometimes :) take out a dictionary too then you might know what the words mean that you are using :)
@Conflustered Bi! tch I dont have prove anything to sexist cunt like you or anyone else. I am getting my degree in a couple months trick. I impress my professors not you. you're a no body and my fiance knows me as a person. I knew him since middle school. We started dating when I was an 8th grader so shut up
@FatherKnowsBest oh don't set her off again she's a total nut case. Apparently I am a nobody and a cunt so that's nice. She's a classy lady going places, graduating and everything isn't that impressive I'm in awe of this incredibly balanced woman that has diagnosed me a sexist 😂😂😂😂😂 oh lawdy I needed that laugh. She doesn't consider it sexist to get a man to pull out washing machines or change tyres in her world sexism only works one way. She's so clever
@duckshark He didn't say it specially. I admit I did blow it out of proportion a bit but people really made me upset. They were being totally hypocritical and sexist. They didn't even notice it, its pathetic
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
40Opinion
Not sexist maybe he would just like it u should take his name
Which is sexist. It depends
Well why marry him if he's that bad
You don't know the situation or the rest of anything like the other people that commented 4 days ago, that's why
Don't complain he's sexist if he's your fiancé pointless
No... he probably feels really upset that you don't want to take his name
If we didn't resolve this issue already I'll ask you "why" but it doesn't matter anymore
Thank tho
No problem, don't let him pressure you though
Nope. No pressure. Turns out he thought I wanted tradition lol
Just had a read through your opinion comments on this... I really hope you're a troll. Otherwise, you're making me lose faith in humanity.
By not wanting to change my name? :/ People is telling me I am selfish for wanting to change MY name. ITS MY NAME. I am the one losing hope in humanity
It's got nothing to do with not watching to change your name. Do what you like. It's you calling everything you might not like 'sexist'. A guy wanting his wife to take his last name? Not sexist.
Whatever. it is sexist but idc anymore. You people dont get anything
Lol you two fighting over who should choose whos last name is the dumbest thing i have read all day. There are far more concerning issues when you get married... this is fucking nothing. grow. up
You're obviously dumb. We are not arguing. HE made the suggestion and I disagreed. Besides we already discussed it so the people that are calling me selfish for not taking his name looks stupid
I am obviously dumb when I called you out on your shit?
But eh why not just break up with him, it should work out for you in the long run, he can go his way, find someone who is willing to understand him, knowing full well that situations like this aren't trivial and you can go complain about some other dude being sexist. problem solved.
The 'shit' you called me out on is untrue therefore its NOT mine. Understand that!
Too bad for you we are still getting married so whatever. Everything you said is very hypocritical
Grow up and get your act together.
My act is together. Thinking for myself and knowing what I want IS very mature
He might just be traditional. Perhaps he's very proud of his last name, and you not taking it might be an insult to him. Also if his family is very old school, then that could also be a factor.
Well I am proud of my name too and it's a insult that he wants me to take his. What you have to say about that?
Then you two are at an impasse. Up to you two to break if off or make it work.
We already worked it out. My questions was just to see how much of a hypocrite you were
It gets old
Sure lol
No, he's not a sexist. It's convention for a woman to take her husband's last name.
No its isn't
it
...
LOL regret to inform, but it certainly is.
it isn't.
What color is the sky in your world?
My name isn't good enough. You are too good for my family? Are the first things I can think to say if some one said they did not want my name. And I am sorry but my name represents who I am where I come from it comes with the ring. Just how I feel...
Well she can ask those same questions. Is her name not good enough? or her family? Her name could represent her too? Do you not care about that?
Well I'm traditional that's just how I feel. You must really not like his name very much. Its good you guys are talking about this because if something like this gets in the way what happens when something hard comes along?
Also I want my kids to have my name. To carry on the traditions of my family not my father in laws. And I most certainly wouldn't want to - next to my name
Tradition is sexist by the way. Besides we worked it out already. We're good and happy
"what happens when something hard comes along"
We tackle every problem together. The reason I didn't go to him about this was because it was a inside problem. Plus he had 20 mins til he was leaving for work
And I had about 5 mins til class
Well, my wife took my last name.
I loved that!
I didn't ask her to. I even told her she could keep her own name. She said no, she was excited to take mine.
VERY HOT.
And thats fine. More power to your wife but I want to keep MY name. It's my identity
Then find a man who doesn't care what name you have then.
I mean - you have a right to your opinion - so does your boyfriend. It's good you guys found this incompatibility early... as likely, there are many others that would have discovered later.
Nope. I'm good
No he's a traditionalist. Why don't you hyphenate it? Compromise
Hyphenating it will still have his name at the end of my name so it's pretty much useless and that's not compromising
Red Flags popping up everywhere. If this is such an issue, it's time to put plans on the back burner.
@FatherKnowsBest Why because I want to keep to keep MY name. All of this for MY name. Smh you people are unbelievable
Ya but hyphenating still has your name too. He isn't totally unjustified here. You should have discussed this a long time ago. It is normal to assume you'd take his name since majority of women do. I'd stop making plans though until you guys figure it out.
I didn't want to get marry anyways so it didn't matter
Then why in hell would you say yes? God good thing this happened or that poor guy would be fucked.
Fukk you. You people dont know anything about us on why I agreed to marry him or anything so shut up
You should never, regardless of situation, say yes to a marriage you don't want to commit to.
Marrying someone has NOTHING to do with not wanting to commit to them idiotic lady
That's the point...
No that isn't your point. If it was you never would've said and I quote "You should never, regardless of situation, say yes to a marriage you don't want to commit to"
Plus it doesn't matter. Yours and everyone else sexist opinions means nothing. We discussed this already (the same day btw). We're still getting married and he's taking my name
He's not a sexist, simply wants a symbolic gesture. I, myself, would like my wife to get my last name.
img.pandawhale.com/...ess-gif-NOPE-robert-zNif.gif
Are you serious? This has to be a joke.
If he is truly a decent guy then break up with him. He'll find someone better.
Good luck finding a better guy!
Poor guy, his fiance is deluded.
How is it in anyway sexist? Does he believe he is superior to you because he is a man?
I do not feel like explaining this to people like you anymore. If you want some answers, read my comments to the other people
Does he believe he is superior to you because he is a man and you are a woman?
No but he wants me to take his name BECAUSE I am a woman I believe. Ugh whatever. I guess I blew it out of proportion I guess. I am talking to him later when he gets home. You people gave me a headache and actually made me more mad at him. Thats terrible so I am just gonna quit
If he doesn't believe he is superior to you then he is not sexist. End of discussion.
Don't get his name if you don't want, he's not forcing you.
You're just mad because you're deluded, hope you break it off, for his sake!
Well too bad for you because he wants to marry me
You mean too bad for him...
... don't even know what sexist means!
Nope too bad for you because you and the other sexist people here doesn't want him to marry me
I don't think men are superior over women, I believe they're equal.
How does that make me sexist?
And before you ask, when I get married my wife doesn't need to take my name!
How can you say that but tell me I should take his name. You didn't say it specially but you implied it. You definitely disapprove of me not taking his name and having a problem with taking it
"Don't get his name if you don't want, he's not forcing you."
My issue is you misusing the term sexist, accusing him of something bad.
It basically means that though. Tradition IS sexist
No it doesn't. How is tradition sexist. Sure people were sexist in the past but I'm not and your fiance isn't.
Sexist people MADE the traditions therefore the tradition is STILL sexist. How can you not understand that?
It's not sexist to take the family name, traditionaly both men and women took names!
Its not sexist to take the name. The point is a guy expecting the woman to take the name is sexist. The whole marriage thing is messed up anyways
No its not, its just customary.
Don't get married then. Geez you're so easily offended.
Of course I am offended! It affects me as a woman
We're talking later today
How? How does it affect you as a woman?
Because marriage shouldn't be about a freaking name. It should be about love, happiness, and being a TEAM together. Not me taking his name because I am a woman. I dont value marriage but I know there's more to it than a freaking name
You're over thinking it. Just calm the F down and don't take his name.
That's not over thinking. It's common sense. Besides we already discussed this last night when he came home from work
Whatever, just hope you be aa half decent wife!
What's a half decent wife? I was a GREAT girlfriend so I'm sure I'll be a GREAT wife. There's honestly no difference between us. Only difference is, the government see us as 'together' now which we don't need approval by the way
Can you at least compromise, hyphenate it? My mom did that, she's about as feminist as you can get, but was still willing to compromise
I am not a feminist. How am I a feminist for not wanting to change my last name? :/
How is it not
Its not because is has nothing to do with me not wanting to take his last name. Now you answer my question, bet you dont even know the answer thats why you asked a question with a question
I'm pretty sure I answered your question, and by the way, yes, you're coming off as a feminazi now, bitch
Actually you didn't answer my question stupid b! tch. My question was "How am I a feminist for not wanting to change my last name?" and you didn't answer. You reverse the question on me. Go back and read it yourself
I'm pretty sure I answers it, you just refuse to see it
You're now considered a feminazi, rather than a feminist, hell in a feminist, but even I k ow when to draw the line
You never answered my question. If you're sooo wanting to prove me wrong, tell me how. Answer my question that you never answered
I'm pretty sure I did
I wish I could screenshot it to you -_-
Do it
Show your face, and I'll show mine so that you can "send it to me"
I have no problem going unanonymous, if you do too
I am not going unanonymous so people can hate and flag me for wanting to keep my name. And all you have to do is go back and read and you'll SEE that you did not answer my question. You reversed my question back to me but you did not answer it
Still seems to be you're scared of trying to prove me wrong. So shut up, or prove me wrong
That reverse psychology crap doesn't work on me. You KNOW you didn't answer my question. Trying to convince me you did, won't make me believe you. My major is psychology
If you can't prove me wrong, then shut up
Until you do, I'm right
Whatever helps you sleep at night liar lmao
You too
Liar
Lol whatever. We both know who the liar is
Ya, you
LMAO. you're a terrible liar
try again
Whatever dude smh
How much did the engagement ring cost? And who paid for it?
I didn't ask him to buy me an engagement ring and I didn't make the stupid rules for marriage either
So maybe you can go buy him something of equal worth as an engagement present. Like a car mustang maybe.
"I didn't make the stupid rules for marriage either" you ignore the rule about talking his last name but insist that he buy you a diamond ring. You can't have it all ways when it suits you, your guy is probably thinking why bother getting married if tradition can be thrown out the window.
"So maybe you can go buy him something of equal worth as an engagement present. Like a car mustang maybe. "
I buy him things all the time. Like I said I didn't ask him to. He INSIST on me taking it. If you read through my comments to others, you'll see I never wanted to get married and he begged me to marry him for 2 years
"you ignore the rule about talking his last name but insist that he buy you a diamond ring"
Once again idiot I didn't insist on him buying me a ring. That doesn't even make sense considering the fact that I never wanted to get married
"your guy is probably thinking why bother getting married if tradition can be thrown out the window"
Lmao well you're wrong because he AGAIN insist on taking my name instead
Lmao no wonder you dont want to marry him. Dump him and move on but dont be cruel.
Buy him the mustang to soften the blow.
Dude you don't get it. Just because I didn't want to marry him doesn't mean I don't love him. I've known him since middle school. We have been dating for a while, I love him more than life itself, and he love me. Our relationship is more than perfect. The reason I didn't want to get married was because I don't value marriage (that's why I call the tradition stupid, there's no point in it to me)
Do you guys live together and if so how long?
We've been living together for 3 years. He got his first apartment when I was a freshman in college. After having his apartment for a year, I moved in his apartment the next year
You both are what is called common law husband and wife or domestic partners.
A wedding is just church, government and family recognising your union no matter how its dressed up.
Exactly. My point is, we don't need all of that to be considered together. We already are and we love each other. HE wants to get married and because I love him to bits, I'll take that huge step for him
Ok but you should still buy him a mustang.
We already have cars that are nice -_-
Yeah but no mustang. Nothing says I love you like a mustang for your birthday lol
I'm not buying him a mustang, I'll buy him something else for his birthday. If his car messes up THEN I'll buy him a car. I'll have to see because I don't even know if he likes mustangs. He'll most likely pretend to love it then take it back. That's the type of guy he is
If you think he is sexist for wanting something you don't, you're never going to be happy.
You dont anything about us. Just because I want to keep my name doesn't mean I am going to make him wash my car or something. I really tired of talking to you people
Oh, I thought since you were asking for opinions that you wanted opinions.
Not non sense ones, people that are sexist, rude, or hypocritical
He's obviously not sexist. It's normal for the woman to take the guy's name. Most people expect that to happen. Just tell him your gonna keep your name and give your reasons why. He'll get use to it
It's considered normal because women in the days didn't have a choice at anything. That tradition carried on to 2015
And most women don't or still don't have an issue with it. I'd rather have separate names but it's not a big deal to me.
I agree. Most women dont have a issue with it. About 10 proved it today
Maybe if you took the consideration that the reason he wants you to take his last name is because if his background or religion, you'd realize that it's childish to think about calling off the marriage. That's not even him being a sexist
Marry him if you love him but stick to your guns about keeping your last name. He'll eventually accept to your decisions if he really loves you
It is sexist but that doesn't even matter anymore. We already discussed it the other day. He is changing his. We had a huge conversation and we understand both POVs. He only wanted me to change it because he thought I was into the whole tradition thing. He doesn't even care about his last name. He just wants to marry me and want us to have the same name for our children to be a family. I told him its OK and he doesn't have to (change his name) but he insist on it. It's his choice and I am OK with him changing his
How does taking his name make him sexist? I
Because he think I should take it because I am a woman and women in the old ages where told what to do. Do you not know your history?:/
Maybe it's because it's tradition and not because he hates or thinks lowly of women.
Tradition IS sexist. If you believe in tradition like that, you're basically sexist
Don't talk nonsense marriage is a tradition too is that also sexist? Get a grip on reality and stop looking for drama asker
@Conflustered Marriage tradition is sexist. I never wanted to get married anyways. I love him and want to do this for him but that doesn't involve taking his name. Reality? You wonna talk about reality? You are a woman yourself, you should know how sexism is working in society.
If you don't want to get married, don't get married.
@NerdInDenial I didn't ask for peoples opinions on me not getting married
It appears that since you don't want to take his name, and he is adamant about it, why would you want to get married?
Taking his last name has nothing to do with wanting to get married. What are you people talking about :/
If the issue of taking his name is a big deal, why would you stay with him?
Because I love him to death of course
If you truly love him, why don't you just swallow your pride and take his name?
Its not pride. I want to keep MY last name. It my name. Why wouldn't I want to keep it? He seems to have the pride wanting me to take his last name and abandon mine
You said you don't think you can marry him anymore because of this then you contradict yourself by saying it's nothing to do with marriage. Yes I'm a woman thank you for noticing just not a crazy psychotic drama bitch type of woman :)
@Conflustered
"You said you don't think you can marry him anymore because of this then you contradict yourself by saying it's nothing to do with marriage"
I said that because the guy said "It appears that since you don't want to take his name, and he is adamant about it, why would you want to get married?" so shut up and read
You people want any reason to make me seem like the bad person when I just want to keep my name.
you're suck a idiotic hypocritical bi! tch!
He's obviously a very lucky guy to get you. <-- by the way see how I can make coherent sentences. You should try sometimes :) take out a dictionary too then you might know what the words mean that you are using :)
@Conflustered Bi! tch I dont have prove anything to sexist cunt like you or anyone else. I am getting my degree in a couple months trick. I impress my professors not you. you're a no body and my fiance knows me as a person. I knew him since middle school. We started dating when I was an 8th grader so shut up
What school are you graduating from?
@Conflustered Yes, if my children wrote the way she writes I would have had them left back two years in school!
@FatherKnowsBest oh don't set her off again she's a total nut case. Apparently I am a nobody and a cunt so that's nice. She's a classy lady going places, graduating and everything isn't that impressive I'm in awe of this incredibly balanced woman that has diagnosed me a sexist 😂😂😂😂😂 oh lawdy I needed that laugh. She doesn't consider it sexist to get a man to pull out washing machines or change tyres in her world sexism only works one way. She's so clever
@FatherKnowsBest A&M
@FatherKnowsBest I dont have to prove anything your old a$$ either
@Conflustered You're making assumptions bi! ch. you're not funny trust me. I laugh at retards that believe they know on the internet
I apologize for the intrusion, but what you said is incredibly important. Did your fiancé actually tell you that you should take his name because you are a woman and women are told what to do? Or, is this your assumption. If he actually told you that you are a woman and therefore he gets to tell you what to do, he is a sexist a$$. If not, well, you are not approaching this truthfully nor rationally.
@duckshark He didn't say it specially. I admit I did blow it out of proportion a bit but people really made me upset. They were being totally hypocritical and sexist. They didn't even notice it, its pathetic
How is this a sexist thing?
Read my comments to others (that asked your question) if you want to know
I think you are supposed to take your husband's surname when you get married
Well I am not taking it
Okay no one is forcing you, I feel pity for the guy though
Because of a name LMAO. Gtfo.
he's just a traditionalist. it's not a sin.