What's another way to say, "Will you marry me?"

My boyfriend and I have been wanting to get married for a long time. We just found out today that if we get married, we will lose a portion of our benefits each month, because we are both disabled. SSI takes away some of your benefits when you get married, when you combine your incomes.

So we are being discouraged from getting married.

I still want to. My boyfriend might still too, but he said it wouldn't be anytime soon. I'm worried that the person who told us this, might convince us altogether... So I was thinking of surprising him by asking him for a commitment ceremony together instead of a legal marriage, if he would be willing to.

That's what gays and lesbians have to do right now, since Proposition 8 passed in California. Why should we be any different?

But see, the thing is, I can't ask, "Will you marry me?" Because we can't "technically" get married legally without losing benefits. But I still want to pop the question. I want to propose to him, kneeling before him on one knee. What can I say?

"Will you commit to me?" sounds too stiff.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Thank you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Iam the question and you are the answer


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • why do you see the need to get married? why can't living together be enough for people, especially women,

    • To acknowledge our commitment together, and to welcome him fully into my family. It is a symbolic thing, for us. And for our son. Neither of us have had many permanent people in our lives - this is a way to acknowledge to each other that we will be each others' support for the rest of our lives. It's because we want to.

    • Also ...he was the one who brought up marriage first, and he was the one who pushed for it first. I never had any second thoughts, but that was brought up by HIM, good mister. Not by a clingy kiss-of-death woman, yours truly. ;) hahahaha

  • Me and you together forever...


What Girls Said 1

  • I guess I just don't see losing some money each month as justification for not getting married. If you'd be struggling without the extra money, there are other services available to help.

    I think I'd say think about whether or not you really want to get married.. a commitment ceremony will cost about the same, depending on what you want to do. So if you want to do this now, and get married later.. that's something to think about. Unless you wouldn't want to have an actual ceremony for your marriage, and just do a JoP thing.

    I'm not really good with words, so eh.. anything you say might sound a bit.. silly if it's said by itself. Just talk, and let what wants to come out, come out.